Tomb Raider 2013

[Menckenstein]

"Duhhh I played it for the puzzles and exploring!"

Yeah because we knew fuck all about this game when it was first advertised except TOMB RAIDER and TITS.

FFS she had dual handguns in all the advertising materials it looked like a generic TPS.

We came for the tits, we stayed for the puzzles and platforming... lord knows why, worst controls and camera in a platformer until Soul Reaver came along.

 

[JarlFrank]

Controls were fine, especially back then when WASD and mouselook hadn't become standard yet.

 

[MetalCraze]

oops wron thread

 

[J1M]

I was struck by how deeply misandric this game is. A hot, innocent young girl killing hundreds of nasty 40 year old men who all want to rape and kill her.

Where are all the women on the island? Why do all the men look and act like crazed hobos?

The game is a joke.

Most modern videogame stories are completely at odds with the mechanics and Tomb Raider is a prime example. Sweet, innocent Lara goes from being some amateur archaeologist to being ridiculously physically adept, has Navy SEAL capabilities in dealing with injury and survival techniques, and after the game leads up to and makes a huge deal of her killing someone, she then proceeds to mow down literally hundreds without remorse, because it's an action game. The story never touches the point again.

Faffy pointdexters call this "ludonarrative dissonance" and it's why Uncharted can get away with it and Tomb Raider can't. Uncharted is Indiana Jones level wink-wink, nudge-nudge material that's always in on the joke and knows how ridiculous and silly it is. Tomb Raider never acknowledges that maybe, just maybe, an action game bordering so far from reality might also conflict with a "realistic", super-serious, dramatic story.

In my opinion this was completely the wrong direction to take the franchise and more importantly shows that the developers were not really thinking intelligently about their game despite the "dark and mature" facsimile.

Quoted because this post sums up the problems with the reboot perfectly.

They should have made a female Uncharted game and maybe done another Tomb Raider through Kickstarter, if Square Enix really didn't want to cough up the money for a sequel to Underworld.

Uncharted is just as guilty. You make excuses for it because you thought it was fun.

 

[J_C]

I was struck by how deeply misandric this game is. A hot, innocent young girl killing hundreds of nasty 40 year old men who all want to rape and kill her.

Where are all the women on the island? Why do all the men look and act like crazed hobos?

The game is a joke.

Most modern videogame stories are completely at odds with the mechanics and Tomb Raider is a prime example. Sweet, innocent Lara goes from being some amateur archaeologist to being ridiculously physically adept, has Navy SEAL capabilities in dealing with injury and survival techniques, and after the game leads up to and makes a huge deal of her killing someone, she then proceeds to mow down literally hundreds without remorse, because it's an action game. The story never touches the point again.

Faffy pointdexters call this "ludonarrative dissonance" and it's why Uncharted can get away with it and Tomb Raider can't. Uncharted is Indiana Jones level wink-wink, nudge-nudge material that's always in on the joke and knows how ridiculous and silly it is. Tomb Raider never acknowledges that maybe, just maybe, an action game bordering so far from reality might also conflict with a "realistic", super-serious, dramatic story.

In my opinion this was completely the wrong direction to take the franchise and more importantly shows that the developers were not really thinking intelligently about their game despite the "dark and mature" facsimile.

Quoted because this post sums up the problems with the reboot perfectly.

They should have made a female Uncharted game and maybe done another Tomb Raider through Kickstarter, if Square Enix really didn't want to cough up the money for a sequel to Underworld.

Uncharted is just as guilty. You make excuses for it because you thought it was fun.

Uncharted is a great game!

Seriously, Uncharted is not guilty about this "ludonarratie dissonance" bullshit. The story and characters don't contradict the story. The hero is an Indinana Jones type of hero from the beginning, being able to handle himself pretty well. Lara in the other hand should be a spoiled rich kid, but suddenly she can kill dozens of grown, armed men.

 

[J1M]

That's basically what I'm talking about. Drake was pitched and marketed over and over as an everyman. Someone who was not Marcus Fenix. Did you forget?

 

[Menckenstein]

I was struck by how deeply misandric this game is. A hot, innocent young girl killing hundreds of nasty 40 year old men who all want to rape and kill her.

Where are all the women on the island? Why do all the men look and act like crazed hobos?

The game is a joke.

Most modern videogame stories are completely at odds with the mechanics and Tomb Raider is a prime example. Sweet, innocent Lara goes from being some amateur archaeologist to being ridiculously physically adept, has Navy SEAL capabilities in dealing with injury and survival techniques, and after the game leads up to and makes a huge deal of her killing someone, she then proceeds to mow down literally hundreds without remorse, because it's an action game. The story never touches the point again.

Faffy pointdexters call this "ludonarrative dissonance" and it's why Uncharted can get away with it and Tomb Raider can't. Uncharted is Indiana Jones level wink-wink, nudge-nudge material that's always in on the joke and knows how ridiculous and silly it is. Tomb Raider never acknowledges that maybe, just maybe, an action game bordering so far from reality might also conflict with a "realistic", super-serious, dramatic story.

In my opinion this was completely the wrong direction to take the franchise and more importantly shows that the developers were not really thinking intelligently about their game despite the "dark and mature" facsimile.

Quoted because this post sums up the problems with the reboot perfectly.

They should have made a female Uncharted game and maybe done another Tomb Raider through Kickstarter, if Square Enix really didn't want to cough up the money for a sequel to Underworld.

Uncharted is just as guilty. You make excuses for it because you thought it was fun.

Uncharted is a great game!

Seriously, Uncharted is not guilty about this "ludonarratie dissonance" bullshit. The story and characters don't contradict the story. The hero is an Indinana Jones type of hero from the beginning, being able to handle himself pretty well. Lara in the other hand should be a spoiled rich kid, but suddenly she can kill dozens of grown, armed men.

Apparently she grew up under the tutelage of the Roth character so she knows how to hunt, shoot, climb, etc like a proper adventurer. So while her murder cherry hadn't yet been popped she wasn't without any type of skill.

I remember reading interviews with the lead for the Uncharted games and he was like "YA DRAKE IS LIKE TTOTALLY NOT LAME LIKE LARA CROFT SHE CAN DIVE AND FLIP AND DO SHIT PERFECT HE'S AN EVERY DAY GUY U SEE IT IN HIS FIGHTING AND CLIMBING AND GUNPLAY" but he murders a billion pirates, mutants, Balkan mercenaries, blue magic men, WORLD DIVERSITY mercenaries, djinni (OR ARE THEY) etc etc.

And he's apparently the got the world's strongest deltoids because not once has his arm come out of the socket for all the 30 foot drop one handed grab shit that goes on in those games.

Apples to apples.

 

[Psquit]

those tits can take an eye out.

 

[JarlFrank]

those tits can take an eye out.

Someone needs to make a mod for TR1 that allows melee attacks.

Tit stabbing.

 

[Hamster]

Uncharted is just as guilty. You make excuses for it because you thought it was fun.

Nope. Uncharted never explained Drake's combat prowess, but it didn't draw attention to it either. Tomb Raider constantly throws Lara's weakness in your faces in between her killing sprees. Uncharted also lacked Tomb Raider's edgy grimdarkness.

 

[Jick Magger]

Kinda like Indiana Jones, really. His combat prowess is constantly inferred, but we're never shown anything in the story that should directly contradict his skill displayed in the gameplay.

Real Ludonarrative Dissonance is shit like Cutscene!Max Payne being a drunk, lumbering wreck who's prone to blacking out, crippling headaches and going into diatribes on how much he sucks suddenly, yet becoming a well honed and oiled killing machine whenever the cutscenes end, or Niko complaining about how he's been forced back into a life of crime by killing a thug in self defence when he's run over at least a dozen pedestrians on the drive over to the mission marker.

 

[Morgoth]

But most importantly, Uncharted was written by Amy Hennig, a competent writer who, ironically, worked at Crystal Dynamics on the LoK series before.

 

[lightbane]

Holy shit, this is pure
Not only it seems to be the most slow and/or inefficient ritual ever done, I also like how Lara forgets all of her weaponry and uses a shitty pickaxe for these special attacks against that zombie giant samurai

 

[racofer]

It's like they've taken DA2's button awesome mechanics seriously.

 

[Machocruz]

"Duhhh I played it for the puzzles and exploring!"

Yeah because we knew fuck all about this game when it was first advertised except TOMB RAIDER and TITS.

FFS she had dual handguns in all the advertising materials it looked like a generic TPS.

We came for the tits, we stayed for the puzzles and platforming... lord knows why, worst controls and camera in a platformer until Soul Reaver came along.

Except the first time I ever saw or heard of it was when I walked into a room while the player was in mid jump, followed by a few more jumps, climbing some swimming and some switch pulling. I said to myself "Hey, this looks like a game with puzzles and exploring and platforming! Maybe be I'll play it for that because I like those things"

Weird, huh?

 

[Menckenstein]

"Duhhh I played it for the puzzles and exploring!"

Yeah because we knew fuck all about this game when it was first advertised except TOMB RAIDER and TITS.

FFS she had dual handguns in all the advertising materials it looked like a generic TPS.

We came for the tits, we stayed for the puzzles and platforming... lord knows why, worst controls and camera in a platformer until Soul Reaver came along.

Except the first time I ever saw or heard of it was when I walked into a room while the player was in mid jump, followed by a few more jumps, climbing some swimming and some switch pulling. I said to myself "Hey, this looks like a game with puzzles and exploring and platforming! Maybe be I'll play it for that because I like those things"

Weird, huh?

Cool story bro.

I guess we all just walk into rooms where a gain is being played and gain magical foresight instead of seeing an advertisement first.

RPG Codex: We walk into rooms

 

[MetalCraze]

Menck as this thread shows it's quite possible that a whopping 5% of gamers indeed didn't know about Lara's tits.

 

[Machocruz]

Cool story bro.

I guess we all just walk into rooms where a gain is being played and gain magical foresight instead of seeing an advertisement first.

RPG Codex: We walk into rooms

Cool logic bro. Seeing something in action gives you foresight in how it might be in action.

And cool, original "People only played Tomb Raider for tits" meme

RPG Codex: We think like IGN.

 

[Cool name]

Yes and before that concept art and details were released when it was originally going to be a very different project. It was originally about lara marooned on a Japenese island that she could explore. The island was inhabitad by strange creatures from japenese folklore. It was open world with metroidvania elements and it would have had a survival horror slant.

Then somewhere along the way they decided to just make an uncharted clone

Wait wait wait wait wait wait... is that true?.

I do remember it being mentioned and discussed on several horror and survival horror forums and communities back when it was first announced so it may as well be true.

It is kind of sad. The original does seem exactly the kind of game I would love to play. And then they did somehow go from a game I would buy on release date to a game I will not even torrent.

Not only it seems to be the most slow and/or inefficient ritual ever done,

That's what you have to put up with when your cult is made of a bunch of castaways and pirates. 'O-Okay... That didn't quite work as expected. Let us try again. Try to vibrate her name a bit more this time, please. Uhm... No, no, no. That didn't work either. Should we try Enochian next?'

Also I did notice the evil girl is suposed to be called Himiko. Is that the ancient witch queen of lore and myth or just a random evil spirit girl with the same name?

I also like how Lara forgets all of her weaponry and uses a shitty pickaxe for these special attacks against that zombie giant samurai

It is kind of amusing though. Evil huge samurai is down! She slaps it with her pickaxe. Evil huge samurai does stand up and shrugs it like nothing did just happen. Meanwhile evil ghostie is coming back to destroy the universe or whatever she is going to do.

 

[ohWOW]

I'm not shocked or moved, seeing that this game is universally praised as the best Tomb Raider game in the history. Just have read some positive reviews on metacritic, how can you praise boring, 1 second full hp regenerated, filled with shitty qte gameplay? As Agassi said, I won't even bother to visit the pirate bay. I've also heard that there's a built-in quest compass called "survival instincts" which by the power of instincts shows you the way. Is it true?

I was never wet about Tomb Raider, but liked two games from the series. But come on, this new game looks like shit. And there's even not a single rape they hyped this game on.

 

[LundB]

Seems like a 75% off steam sale purchase type of game to me.

Also I did notice the evil girl is suposed to be called Himiko. Is that the ancient witch queen of lore and myth or just a random evil spirit girl with the same name?

The name was used intentionally, but beyond a few token similarities, it might as well just be a random evil spirit.

 

[Jick Magger]

I'm not shocked or moved, seeing that this game is universally praised as the best Tomb Raider game in the history.

Since the point of reference for most of these people is shit like Legends, Underworld, and, god forbid, Angel of Darkness, I'm not surprised.

 

[MetalCraze]

I've tried playing TR yesterday. My finger got hurt twitching E button so I deleted it.

Dull brown corridors, shit combat, finger breaking QTEs, impossible to go somewhere without scripted shit happening every 20 seconds?
That's the best game they could possibly make? I think they need to retire from making games.

 

[RK47]

I've tried playing TR yesterday.

with all that shit, u still took the time to complete it.
Crystal Dynamics thanks you.

 

[Menckenstein]

Cool story bro.

I guess we all just walk into rooms where a gain is being played and gain magical foresight instead of seeing an advertisement first.

RPG Codex: We walk into rooms

Cool logic bro. Seeing something in action gives you foresight in how it might be in action.

And cool, original "People only played Tomb Raider for tits" meme

RPG Codex: We think like IGN.

:whoosh over your head gif: