Tomb Raider 2013

[Cool name]

This game should have been a modern Robinson's Requiem with puzzle dungeons added instead of what it is.

 

[JarlFrank]

This game should have been a modern Robinson's Requiem with puzzle dungeons added instead of what it is.

That would be hilarious. Very detailedly animated scenes of Lara amputating her left arm with a knife.

 

[Hamster]

Oh wow, Lara can make stealth kills. 20 y.o. girl with no previous combat expirience.

Btw, that was only a beginning. Lara than procedes to mercilessly execute a wounded enemy with a badass one liner. And then she goes into a slow mode and guns ten people with machinegun. And then you can hear enemies screaming "she's ripping us to pieces!" and "she getting close, run!" while you gun down squad after squad of machete rape gangmen.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

This game should have been a modern Robinson's Requiem with puzzle dungeons added instead of what it is.

That would be hilarious. Very detailedly animated scenes of Lara amputating her left arm with a knife.

And putting an uzi in its place. All of my money

 

[Kitako]

Oh wow, Lara can make stealth kills. 20 y.o. girl with no previous combat expirience.

Btw, that was only a beginning. Lara than procedes to mercilessly execute a wounded enemy with a badass one liner. And then she goes into a slow mode and guns ten people with machinegun. And then you can hear enemies screaming "she's ripping us to pieces!" and "she getting close, run!" while you gun down squad after squad of machete rape gangmen.

And let's not forget the last level when she casually

Spoiler

mow down a whole army of undead samurai

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

And let's not forget the last level when she casually

Spoiler

mow down a whole army of undead samurai

How much HP does she have ?

 

[JarlFrank]

I bet it regenerates, like in all newshit action games.

 

[Surf Solar]

Oh wow, Lara can make stealth kills. 20 y.o. girl with no previous combat expirience.

Btw, that was only a beginning. Lara than procedes to mercilessly execute a wounded enemy with a badass one liner. And then she goes into a slow mode and guns ten people with machinegun. And then you can hear enemies screaming "she's ripping us to pieces!" and "she getting close, run!" while you gun down squad after squad of machete rape gangmen.

Best part was in that fortress, asplosions everywhere, burning people etc.

"HOLY FUCK RUN SHE'S GOT A GRENADE LAUNCHER WE WILL ALL DIE ETC"

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

I bet it regenerates, like in all newshit action games.

Everything is shit.

 

[Mrowak]

I bet it regenerates, like in all newshit action games.

What kind of devilish clairvorance did you use that you know that?

Played a little bit of it at friend's place... the first hour or so is QTE and cutscenes extravaganza. In the hindsight I have no clue why I was under impression there will be more survival aspect to the gameplay, as opposed to being a corridor shooter.

 

[ohWOW]

And let's not forget the last level when she casually

Spoiler

mow down a whole army of undead samurai

That's one really not exciting piece of an action game. That health regen is ridiculous.

 

[Hamster]

Oh my fucking god! She's so strong she can collapse buildings by ripping pillars out!

 

[racofer]

Finally got around to playing this thing.

The pros:

+ Nice cleavage;​

+ Lara's voice begs for rape;​

+ Good lighting;​

+ Nice rain effects;​

The cons:

- Next to none gameplay;​

- Press Y to dodge the rapist nigger;​

- Linear as fuck;​

- Press Y to dodge the rapist wolf;​

- TressFX is never used on the rest of Lara's body;​

- Press Y to dodge the rapist fishes;​

- Sneaking right in front of rapist men during daylight;​

- Press Y to dodge the rapist ants;​

- No nude mods yet;​

- Press Y to dodge the rapist mosquitoes;​

- Even if I don't dodge the rape, there's no actual rape;​

There's no game on this game, only a series of linear paths and invisible walls and a sequence of QTEs. Instantly reminded me of the Uncharted games, which I watched a friend play a few years ago, and I found that thing to be boring beyond belief.

 

[ohWOW]

- Even if I don't dodge the rape, there's no actual rape;

0/10 worst game of the year.

 

[Jaesun]

 

[Clockwork Knight]

I don't think Dragon's Lair is a good comparison, it would rapekill you for not having lightning fast reflexes

 

[JarlFrank]

- TressFX is never used on the rest of Lara's body;​

I'm kinda glad a technology for realistically animated hair is only used on her head.

 

[Zeriel]

- TressFX is never used on the rest of Lara's body;​

I'm kinda glad a technology for realistically animated hair is only used on her head.

Uhhh, Unreal Pube Tech? It's kind of the wave of the future. Everyone knows this.

 

[TheEntitledOne]

- TressFX is never used on the rest of Lara's body;​

I'm kinda glad a technology for realistically animated hair is only used on her head.

German porn...

 

[Toffeli]

One of the most dullest games I have played recently. The game was forgettable at best. The first qte loaded 30 mins were terribad. Then mostly linear shooting hordes of enemies, piss easy puzzles. Optional tombs vere ok, nothing to write home about.

And lets not talk about the plot which felt hilariously disconnected from the gameplay. I wish there was a kill counter. At the shooty parts probably killed about 5 enemies per minute. So much over the top and close to death moments to fill more than 10 average movies. Just felt too exhausting. One of the most hilarous parts was sliding down the river. If you didn't move, you always got Lara impaled with spike in her throat and the game loaded automatically, so if you just left the game running, Lara got impaled about every 20 seconds.

Crafting and exp didn't add anything needed. Felt just nuisance and time wasters. All equipment could have been just collectable stuff.

 

[dnf]

I bet it regenerates, like in all newshit action games.

What kind of devilish clairvorance did you use that you know that?

Played a little bit of it at friend's place... the first hour or so is QTE and cutscenes extravaganza. In the hindsight I have no clue why I was under impression there will be more survival aspect to the gameplay, as opposed to being a corridor shooter.

Do you really need superpowers to see what kind of mechanics a AAA game have? I think 9.5 out of 10 games have health regen.

 

[Runciter]

This game should have been a modern Robinson's Requiem with puzzle dungeons added instead of what it is.

That would be hilarious. Very detailedly animated scenes of Lara amputating her left arm with a knife.

And putting an uzi in its place. All of my money

 

[fizzelopeguss]

Finished it, enjoyed it, a solid adventure yarn. I Wish it was more difficult and that it had proper puzzles, if they do that for the sequel they'd have something spectacular on their hands.

Either way, before they do anything else they need to fire everyone involved in their PR department first, talk about turning everyone against your game long before it's even released. Disastrous hype trail.

 

[Surf Solar]

Just finished it myself aswell and can only say the same. A decent adventure, good for some mindless joystick/gamepad sessions.

 

[DalekFlay]

Uhhh, Unreal Pube Tech? It's kind of the wave of the future. Everyone knows this.

Again, no girls have pubes anymore to simulate, so how can it be the future? Unless bush is coming back... *shivers with fear*

 

[Zeriel]

Uhhh, Unreal Pube Tech? It's kind of the wave of the future. Everyone knows this.

Again, no girls have pubes anymore to simulate, so how can it be the future? Unless bush is coming back... *shivers with fear*

Real-time hair growth, simulated in-game. Shaving minigame is what TressTech was designed for.