Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord

[Zanzoken]

God the endgame is such a slog.
Yesterday I spent 2 hours (to my excuse I was watching football with 1.5 eyes) doing a merry-go-round concourse near Lageta.
A wild 700+ Vlandia stack appears, takes 4 castles and Lageta, ignoring Ortysa, because they are afraid of my 200 man garrison, I slap them around a retake everything. By the time I reached Lageta, a new stack already restarted at the first castle... because nobody ever defends anything!
I gave me 225 scouting to prevent lords from escaping, now I lug around 65 almost 69 (teehee) Vlandian lords and they still keep coming with their magic 300 stacks containing at least 50 tier 5 crossbowmen each time. Especially funny when they come from the arab lands where you can't even recruit Vlandian troops. Can you cheat even more obvious?
On top of that my SImpire has fallen into complete apathy now. We are at war with everyone, but nobody lifts a finger... and 0% support for peace with anyone. So sad.

Modders have a LOT to fix in this game.

This sounds the exact same as Warband. The devs have zero idea how to design a logically functioning campaign, so they just give the AI infinitely respawning troops. The only way you can win is to take enemy lords prisoner and hold them until you can conquer all their fiefs (by yourself, because all of your allies are useless fucks who contribute nothing).

Imagine working for 10 years on this sequel (a total of 15+ years on the franchise) and learning LITERALLY NOTHING. Fucking dumbfucks.

 

[Bliblablubb]

The only way you can win is to take enemy lords prisoner and hold them until you can conquer all their fiefs (by yourself, because all of your allies are useless fucks who contribute nothing).

Yeah, and knowing the AI there will be a sudden "100% support vote for peace because of considerable tribute" the moment I have collected all lords and could go through their land like a hot knife through butter.

It's like George Orwell designed this game, gotta keep the population in an eternal stalemate. The economy certainly reminds me of IngSoc already, Ortysa went from 6500+ down to barely 4 digts by the time swooped in and bring them freedom and fake democracy.

I guess... it's time for sugarmomma Rhagaea to have an unfortunate hunting accident, so I can at least override those stupid sabotaging AI decisicions.

 

[Infinitron]

https://www.taleworlds.com/en/News/519

 

[Bliblablubb]

As I had the Vladians locked down now and everyone else was at war with me anyway, I decided to trigger the final mAiN qWeSt part that puts you in eternal war. No fun allowed of course, as the Vladians were not part of it, instead I got Arabs, Mongrels and Bacterians. And of course my kingdom peaced out with Vlandia before I could even cash in the 250k worth of lords...
And of course 30 mins later the Arabs/Mongols had already snatched 3 cities and 6 keeps... Whatever.
I decided to do it soviet style. Let them run out of momentum, then steamroll them straight to Berlin.
Battarians were pushovers, as the AI does not subscribe to OnlyFians. Who would win a fight, 100+ elite Catha- Katta- Catfags, or a bunch of bearded hipsters living in the woods? RIP JESawyer cosplayers.
Then came the Arabs. What is their specialty again? I never found out, as they are completely helpless against massive cavalry charges.
Turns out only Vladia cheats hard, the others actually play "fair". They have 1 stack of doom, 1 smaller follow up and after that it's snowballing time.
I had already spent more time fighting Vladia then taking down 2 kingdoms...
At that point Simpress Rhagaea realized what I knew for hours now: everyone is useless, if you want smth done right, you gotta do it yourself.
And do she does, created a 1800+ army and distracted the Khuzaits. The dreaded Mongols who easily win auto resolved battles because it massivly favors riders. But in real fights I had one ace up my sleeve: the pants-on retarded cavalry AI.
Horse archers are of low use againts l33t Catfags, and when they pile up in melee, they block each others' glaives preventing them from hitting anything at all.
And mine is much longer. My stick-on-a-blade I mean. Then it's like weeding a garden.

And I did it. I finished the mainquest. And I get... another low effort cutscene, with a VA who constantly says "peoples" again, telling me I reunited the empire. Except nothing changes, it's still the "southern empire".
Also the northern and western empire is "destroyed". Except they aren't.
Sure, the clans joined my kingdom now, which would have been nice BEFORE the eternal war, but their leaders are still those faction leaders at the same time.
And 5 mins later Battaria declared war on the "destroyed" Northern Empire, laying siege to ther keep, which is actually mine now, without being at war with me. I can't enter or help them.
I fully expect one of those "destroyed" kingdoms to declare war on the Simpire and then... siege their own keep?

TLDR: I give the main quest 1/5 trolls. Waste of time, would not do again.

 

[Fedora Master]

Never trust Turks

 

[Cyberarmy]

Never trust Turks

We are smugglers and pirates

 

[Bliblablubb]

One more funfact about "dev's laziness": when I started the game with "death and birth" active, the game spawned quite a few orphan kids of various ages in the clans. But 10 years later I realized: those were just clones of the existing clanmembers!
Each of the BEST_DEAL waifus (except Arwa for unknown reasons) has at least one younger clone. Garios daughter Nadea even 3!

What's the message here? If your wife reaches 40, kill her off and replace her with a younger model?
So sexist.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

One more funfact about "dev's laziness": when I started the game with "death and birth" active, the game spawned quite a few orphan kids of various ages in the clans. But 10 years later I realized: those were just clones of the existing clanmembers!
Each of the BEST_DEAL waifus (except Arwa for unknown reasons) has at least one younger clone. Garios daughter Nadea even 3!

What's the message here? If your wife reaches 40, kill her off and replace her with a younger model?
So sexist.

Guess they managed to get funding from Leonardo DiCaprio

 

[Bliblablubb]

One final update before I retire the game:

As expected the game rubberbanded back to the status quo within a few days, the Mongols and Arabs have quickly retaken their entire territory with no opposition from my lords. Except the Battarians, they drew the short stick by being war'd on by the cheating Vlandians while I was busy elsewhere. And because they cheat, all the cities and keeps they took gained 300 magic militia in a short time, making it impossible to quickly take it back.
If everyone did that, at least conquering had some meaning, but if only Vlandia does that, it feels like a slap in the face. And as cherry on top Vlandia declared war on me again as well.
Faced with another mulitple hours slog of 70+ lords zerg rush I decided to call it a "mission accomplished" and retired Codexia. Last time king Adolf Derpbert ended up sending even his 70 years old governors as Volkssturm at me.

Kinda sad tho, Dexi never got to become Simpress herself, and none of her kids reached adulthood. At least the oldest 'dexspawn got a portrait with a very smug face, that's... something I guess.
But she has to grow into a proper edgelord/lady/mudcrab without me now.

I wonder if Vlandia still cheats (in your favor) if they are your faction...
This game's AI gave me so many flashbacks to Empire: Total War, it was painful.

 

[ArchAngel]

One final update before I retire the game:

As expected the game rubberbanded back to the status quo within a few days, the Mongols and Arabs have quickly retaken their entire territory with no opposition from my lords. Except the Battarians, they drew the short stick by being war'd on by the cheating Vlandians while I was busy elsewhere. And because they cheat, all the cities and keeps they took gained 300 magic militia in a short time, making it impossible to quickly take it back.
If everyone did that, at least conquering had some meaning, but if only Vlandia does that, it feels like a slap in the face. And as cherry on top Vlandia declared war on me again as well.
Faced with another mulitple hours slog of 70+ lords zerg rush I decided to call it a "mission accomplished" and retired Codexia. Last time king Adolf Derpbert ended up sending even his 70 years old governors as Volkssturm at me.

Kinda sad tho, Dexi never got to become Simpress herself, and none of her kids reached adulthood. At least the oldest 'dexspawn got a portrait with a very smug face, that's... something I guess.
But she has to grow into a proper edgelord/lady/mudcrab without me now.

I wonder if Vlandia still cheats (in your favor) if they are your faction...
This game's AI gave me so many flashbacks to Empire: Total War, it was painful.

I am dominant Kingdom on the map with over 30 000 strenght with only Khuzait, South Empire and Aserai still holding some towns/castles but if I was not patrolling the border with Khuzait and SE I would be losing castles and towns all the time. All I do is play whack-a-mole running north-south to break sieges. Like you I carry around 50+ lords from all kind of factions :D. I think I captured leaders of most clans that didn't join me already and nobody wants to join anymore so I got no way to stop their respawning lords.
I ignored main missions beyond getting my brothers and sisters free and doing enough to get my own kingdom started.

Atm I no longer care to capture the whole map, I just play 2h here and there to do some battles and in my quest to have my party only have full tier 6 soldiers (only trying to have Batannian archers, Aserai Heavy Cavalry and Khuzait Khans).

 

[Zanzoken]

One final update before I retire the game:

As expected the game rubberbanded back to the status quo within a few days, the Mongols and Arabs have quickly retaken their entire territory with no opposition from my lords. Except the Battarians, they drew the short stick by being war'd on by the cheating Vlandians while I was busy elsewhere. And because they cheat, all the cities and keeps they took gained 300 magic militia in a short time, making it impossible to quickly take it back.
If everyone did that, at least conquering had some meaning, but if only Vlandia does that, it feels like a slap in the face. And as cherry on top Vlandia declared war on me again as well.
Faced with another mulitple hours slog of 70+ lords zerg rush I decided to call it a "mission accomplished" and retired Codexia. Last time king Adolf Derpbert ended up sending even his 70 years old governors as Volkssturm at me.

Kinda sad tho, Dexi never got to become Simpress herself, and none of her kids reached adulthood. At least the oldest 'dexspawn got a portrait with a very smug face, that's... something I guess.
But she has to grow into a proper edgelord/lady/mudcrab without me now.

I wonder if Vlandia still cheats (in your favor) if they are your faction...
This game's AI gave me so many flashbacks to Empire: Total War, it was painful.

The fact that the Bannerlord devs failed to design a proper endgame is as unsurprising as it is painful.

Here is how it should work. Once you've subjugated about half the map, and your strength is more or less equal to everyone else remaining, they all join forces in a temporary alliance against you. This culminates in a big fucking battle for all the marbles. If you win, congrats, you beat the game. If you lose, then it's not a total game over, but a decent chunk of your kingdom is lost... enough to put you back into equilibrium with the other factions.

BTW the devs who made Sword of the Samurai figured this out way back in 1989.

 

[Bliblablubb]

Here is how it should work. Once you've subjugated about half the map, and your strength is more or less equal to everyone else remaining, they all join forces in a temporary alliance against you. This culminates in a big fucking battle for all the marbles. If you win, congrats, you beat the game. If you lose, then it's not a total game over, but a decent chunk of your kingdom is lost... enough to put you back into equilibrium with the other factions.

They kinda sorta had that build up done with the mainquest but... I guess the intern left for lunch and forgot about it. If my goal is to unite the empire, then after conquering most of the other empire faction holdings, they should accept my asserted dominance and come back into the fold.

Normal dev logic: Conquer 80%+ of the empire culture fiefs, uniting the empire by showing them democracy is weak, then defend the UNITED empire with all hands against the external threats trying to exploit your temporary weakness. Fin.

Taleworld logic: conquer 80%+ of the empire culture fiefs. "We'll rather be homeless bums than joining you again. Monarchy is wrong! Go Oligarchy/Dictatorship!" Then they get plundered by horselords, icyclefags or those guys in the south who always have a suspiciously large amount of sheep with them.... "Okay, maybe joining you sounds like the better alternative". YOU DON'T SAY.

 

[Zariusz]

 

[deuxhero]

One final update before I retire the game:

As expected the game rubberbanded back to the status quo within a few days, the Mongols and Arabs have quickly retaken their entire territory with no opposition from my lords. Except the Battarians, they drew the short stick by being war'd on by the cheating Vlandians while I was busy elsewhere. And because they cheat, all the cities and keeps they took gained 300 magic militia in a short time, making it impossible to quickly take it back.
If everyone did that, at least conquering had some meaning, but if only Vlandia does that, it feels like a slap in the face. And as cherry on top Vlandia declared war on me again as well.
Faced with another mulitple hours slog of 70+ lords zerg rush I decided to call it a "mission accomplished" and retired Codexia. Last time king Adolf Derpbert ended up sending even his 70 years old governors as Volkssturm at me.

Kinda sad tho, Dexi never got to become Simpress herself, and none of her kids reached adulthood. At least the oldest 'dexspawn got a portrait with a very smug face, that's... something I guess.
But she has to grow into a proper edgelord/lady/mudcrab without me now.

I wonder if Vlandia still cheats (in your favor) if they are your faction...
This game's AI gave me so many flashbacks to Empire: Total War, it was painful.

The fact that the Bannerlord devs failed to design a proper endgame is as unsurprising as it is painful.

Here is how it should work. Once you've subjugated about half the map, and your strength is more or less equal to everyone else remaining, they all join forces in a temporary alliance against you. This culminates in a big fucking battle for all the marbles. If you win, congrats, you beat the game. If you lose, then it's not a total game over, but a decent chunk of your kingdom is lost... enough to put you back into equilibrium with the other factions.

BTW the devs who made Sword of the Samurai figured this out way back in 1989.

Total War did that and Realm Divide is a terrible, awful mechanic that does nothing but completely invalidate long term diplomacy, and encourage the player to metagame around the trigger.

 

[Galdred]

One final update before I retire the game:

As expected the game rubberbanded back to the status quo within a few days, the Mongols and Arabs have quickly retaken their entire territory with no opposition from my lords. Except the Battarians, they drew the short stick by being war'd on by the cheating Vlandians while I was busy elsewhere. And because they cheat, all the cities and keeps they took gained 300 magic militia in a short time, making it impossible to quickly take it back.
If everyone did that, at least conquering had some meaning, but if only Vlandia does that, it feels like a slap in the face. And as cherry on top Vlandia declared war on me again as well.
Faced with another mulitple hours slog of 70+ lords zerg rush I decided to call it a "mission accomplished" and retired Codexia. Last time king Adolf Derpbert ended up sending even his 70 years old governors as Volkssturm at me.

Kinda sad tho, Dexi never got to become Simpress herself, and none of her kids reached adulthood. At least the oldest 'dexspawn got a portrait with a very smug face, that's... something I guess.
But she has to grow into a proper edgelord/lady/mudcrab without me now.

I wonder if Vlandia still cheats (in your favor) if they are your faction...
This game's AI gave me so many flashbacks to Empire: Total War, it was painful.

The fact that the Bannerlord devs failed to design a proper endgame is as unsurprising as it is painful.

Here is how it should work. Once you've subjugated about half the map, and your strength is more or less equal to everyone else remaining, they all join forces in a temporary alliance against you. This culminates in a big fucking battle for all the marbles. If you win, congrats, you beat the game. If you lose, then it's not a total game over, but a decent chunk of your kingdom is lost... enough to put you back into equilibrium with the other factions.

BTW the devs who made Sword of the Samurai figured this out way back in 1989.

Total War did that and Realm Divide is a terrible, awful mechanic that does nothing but completely invalidate long term diplomacy, and encourage the player to metagame around the trigger.

Yes, I much prefered the daemon invasion mechanisms from Warlock. At least, it didn't make your allies try to murder you overnight.

 

[Joggerino]

It's not a good siege battle if you don't look like a porcupine by the end of it.

 

[Victor1234]

Every once in a while I look over the Taleworlds forums to see how things are going. The old fans are still unhappy. I look through the modding forum and Steam workshop to see what's cooking and there's 1 total conversion mod. Is this game that unmoddable still? Last I checked about a year ago, there was a guy working on bringing back the Freelancer mod from the previous games (join a lord's army as a grunt and work your way up) but posted a nastygram about how this game sucks for modding and he's leaving.

Now it's all just butter memes in the workshop and something called Grip My Axe on the official forums....

 

[deuxhero]

Most modding isn't on the official forums anymore. Case in point being that Freelancer is already in Bannerlord via the Serve as Soldier mod, and I'm pretty sure its been out for over a year now.

 

[Justicar]

Trash game for trash brains.

 

[Victor1234]

Most modding isn't on the official forums anymore. Case in point being that Freelancer is already in Bannerlord via the Serve as Soldier mod, and I'm pretty sure its been out for over a year now.

Weird. I see it's on nexusmods but not the Steam workshop. Are there any of total conversions around besides Eagle Rising? Don't see those on nexus, forums or steam.

 

[deuxhero]

Check ModDB. None are released, but stuff like Shokuho gets semi-regular updates

 

[thesecret1]

In the name of Jerusalem 2 also looks promising. Also I think some Warhammer mod got released?

 

[Herumor]

Also I think some Warhammer mod got released?

That would be The Old Realms - it's on both ModDB and Steam Workshop: https://www.moddb.com/mods/the-old-realms.

Personally, I'm waiting for Kingdoms of Arda.

 

[Jenkem]

REMEMBER TO VOTE IN THE STEAM AWARDS FOR MOUNT AND BLADE II: BANNERLORD FOR MOST INNOVATIVE GAMEPLAY

 

[Wystan]

I was gifted this game for Christmas and have put in 14 hours so far. It was a good game to receive as a gift, I like feeling obligated to play it so that I can then talk about it with my brother who gave it to me (and has 4000h in its single player)
I made myself a mongol, and it took me a while, but I am starting to feel the call of the horde now that I have started recruiting horse archers in larger numbers. My favourite moment so far was early on when I joined in on an ongoing battle and me and the other leader were the only ones with horses - we looked absolutely stunning as we thundered forth towards the enemy. Him a black knight charging ahead with his lance, plowing through the looters, and me with my little fur hat pelting them with my arrows over his back.