So, I'm casually walking around this castle, hidden in shadows, because you know, why not. And suddenly, I see a troll!
Distressing.
So, I do what I always do in cases like this. I stab him.
Makes sense to me.
After that, I only have to make sure he does not stand back up. With acid.
Let's hope they have good carpet cleaners.
These ice trolls are so weak it's insulting.
It's not their natural habitat, maybe they're bigger and stronger above the ice cap?
This guy has his back against the wall, so no stabbing.
He must be an apprentice of
Thufir Hawat.
Did not help him much.
Geez, this place is really infested with trolls.
Yeah. I think that is kind of the point.
I only have a limited number of these fire and acid spells, you know.
Oh no, what will we do then?
Use one of the bagillion fire arrows I'm carrying?
That could do the trick.
Just stabbing trolls. Nothing to see here.
Flare Arrow!
Flame Arrow.
Whatever, if it burns troll flesh.
Loot, awes- Wait a minute, this kind of sucks.
More troll stabbing goodness.
And again with the fiery arrow thingie.
Arrows of piercing. I like these.
Many a Drizzt have fallen to them.
Yes. This is a spell.
There still are some people in this castle?
My lack of in-breeding, you mean.
Why don't you go away already?
A cache of gold, you say? Interesting...
Who in their right mind would set a trap to a fireplace?
Well, to be honest I am kind of surprised not to find a wand of fire.
What a twist!
This castle has more secret doors than a swiss cheese has holes.
22 damage? Disappointing. We'll have to adjust that with Lilarcor.
Just point me in the right direction and I'll do the rest!
That reminds me. Do you prefer Your trolls rare or well-done?
Dead.
Insert obligatory Admiral Ackbar reference here.
Acid arrows.
It's as if the game is trying to tell us something.
That nobles tend to collect all sorts of weird shit?
You tend to do that too.
Of course. Obviously, I'm more noble than anyone else.
Another survivor.
Oh, you can try.
The Codex is not defeated easily!
Easily or not, defeat is a defeat.
Death Count: 83
Loading.
Who the fuck was that?
Maybe he's an avatar of RPGWatch?
He'll die!
Ow! Fuck! Ow! This guy packs a punch! OW!
Whew, that was close!
Close indeed.
Death count: 84
Load game.
I think, we need to put some thought into this.
Good idea.
Let's put some of Your thoughts into his mind.
Not what I meant, but whatever.
Huh. It broke the charm he was under. Who would've thought.
Not me. I'm honestly surprised. Nice touch.
A multi-headed... flail. It could become my signature weapon.
Except You're not proficient in it.
We can always sell it.
Ok, so I have a REALLY BAD feeling about what is going to happen when I try to loot one of these containers.
But You'll try anyway.
Of course.
Yeah. As expected.
Ouch. I am so going to die.
Yup. Dead in the water. See you all after reload.
And he did not even need clairvoyance for that.
Death count: 85
Loading.
We need to put our superior intelligence into this.
We can run through the door. Iron Golem won't fit through.
Great!
You still need to defeat the clay one.
I got this. FUCK-OW!
Weren't Clay Golems immune to slashing damage anyway?
Death count: 86
Load game.
That last punch reminded me that clay golems are immune to swords.
Yeah, I forgot too.
You are lying.
You'll never know for sure.
I feel much better now. Surely, no hostage was hurt during these eight hours of rest.
Nalia's father hopefully also does not mind that we're prolonging his tortures.
I'll offer an apology later. He'll understand that this delay was because of a greater need.
This greater need being to loot his castle's secret treasury?
Details.
Alright, that takes care of the clay golem.
And Lilarcor's superior range allows us to get rid of the big one.
It feels good to be so awesome.
These guys should be piece of cake.
Stoned golem. I could have just walked past and let him keep his treasure. But that was never a real option.
Fuckyeahdie! Man, that was fucking close!
All this effort for a hammer I remember being in the first game? And it sucked there too!
I hope this axe is better.
I have to admit I really like the stone skin spell.
It allows me not to feel a lot of pain I otherwise would have to experience.
That actually is much better. I wish I had like eight arms to be able to use all these cool weapons.
Oh yeah, we have all tree fail heads now.
We might have not shown picking up all of them. Sorry? Anyway, the second one was in Glaicus' possession and the third one was in the golem treasury.
I'm sure that the hammering noises will not draw anyone's attention.
This weapon makes carrying any fire or acid arrows completely redundant.
Snakes on a roof.
At least they're not on a plane.
You know, technically this is the first material plane...
Well, technically, these are Yuan-ti, not snakes.
I'm still saying it.
Suit yourself.
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!
Happy now?
Kinda. I just wish
Motherfucker Shepard was here to see it.
A quick trip to the city to make some room in the backpack.
Gee, I wonder if I'll be waylaid by enemies on the way back.
I also wonder who these hypothetical enemies might be.
Like, for example, could they be a band of brigands identical to the two I already killed?
Because, you know, how many twin brigand groups can camp on the same road to d'Arnise Keep?
What are the odds.
We need a fitting soundtrack. Let me pull something random...
These guys will never learn.
The whole story can be found below.
The bad news is that corridor trolls have respawned when we made our trip.
Good thing I kept the flail.
I don't think my backstabbing has reached its full potential yet.
And stay down!
Look out, this one is bigger.
No biggie.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK!
Actually, yes. A biggie.
Casting failure!? What do you mean, casting failure!?
That was some serious trolling there.
Death count: 87
Loading.
'Killed by a random troll' will not look good on my resume. I must quickly remove this creature from existence, so its very presence does not stain my reputation.
Well said.
Now I will show you that your victory was just pure luck!
There!
Floor completed!
Time to go downstairs and kick even more troll ass.
But first - looting.
Codex rule number one: never say no to magic arrows.
Codex rule number two: always expect a trap.
Codex rule number three: if it glitters, take it!
Yeah, no. I'm not taking off my anti-vampire amulet even for a second.
Now to the meat of things.
These trolls will be defeated by a sophisticated tactical manoeuvre known as "kiting".
Because, as everyone knows, fighting multiple trolls at a time can be hazardous to your health.
Instead you should lure them one by one, into a dark corner, and kill them when they are alone and vulnerable.
I'm starting to feel sorry for them when You say it that way.
The final troll can be defeated with the usual means. Backstab first, then some swordfighting
And finally a touch of acid or fire. Or both.
The fuck is this shit!?
Umber Hulk.
How do I kill it?
How do You kill everything else?
Oh.
After the room with three trols, there is a room with five umber hulks. What's next? A gelatinous cube?
I don't feel like playing around with you bug-boys, so.
Hahaha- Um... Fuck.
Damn, this looks a bit like...
Yeah.
Moving on!
Loot!
Not bad, but I'm not really seeing anything replacing my Robe of Vecna.
This is where we could have used the dog stew to lure away the umber hulks.
There is something left here.
Ewww, fuck! Why did you make me pick this up?
No gelatinous cubes here, so at least we're clear with that.
'Stronger'? The plot thickens.
Three trolls? Is that all?
Piece of cake.
To be honest, we owe everyone a screenshot there. TorGal proved highly resistant to magic and was not slowed down.
Death count: 88
Loading.
Obviously, rushing in head-first was not the smartest thing to do.
Let's call some allies.
Blood!
We also cast a couple of buffs.
Let's try this too.
Nope, not this time.
The elemental was offed. Of course, we forgot about the ability to charm earth elementals (the magic ring from previous update).
Wait, I'm not ready yet!
Casting failure!? Again!?
I wonder what is causing these. Also, our berserker died already.
Whew.
Good thing we're not playing Amnesia The Dark Descent, so the doors are actually able to stop them.
Time to summon my godhood.
We can also use a scroll, because why not.
As you can see in the screenshot above, second attempt has not gone as well as I expected. Our summoned creatures were quickly killed and the trolls burst into the room, forcing us to retreat again.
I'm starting to get irritated.
Good thing we have more scrolls to use.
Let's see what they say to that.
Fuck yeah!
Using the door as a choke point, we manage to defeat one of the opponents.
Not so tough now, huh!?
TorGal falls soon after.
The last troll was just a formality.
This is the loot I get from this battle? Really?
I guess he was not that indifferent to me taking a nap upstairs after all. Oh well.
Now that's more like it!
Hey, I found that spell you are permanently under.
Very funny.
Now I can turn everyone into a letsplayer. Neat.
Area completed!
We will leave through the main gate, the proper way.
Of course we forgot to screenshot the very moment of
leaving, but whatever.
Why did I even bother talking to you...?
Your father died. Sucks to be you. Also, I've looted everything and destroyed your golems. They were probably expensive.
Get to the point, willya.
There is a follow up quest to this? Assassination. That would be kind of cool.
Ok, that works too.
Fuck! Why did I destroy the golems? They would be mine now!
Watch your mouth, Nalia. The Codex serves noone!
500 per week? I can earn more in a day! I just did!
Nothing? I am disappointed.
No settlements at all? Who is farming the farms then?
Ok, enough with this bullshit, give me the money.
I'm sure they will. Also, I will be back for more. Soon.
Quest completed!
----------
Next time: Well, I don't know. We've had three suggestions so far:
1. Unseeing Eye
2. Kangaxx
3. Mae'Var's Guild
Let's roll a die and see which one of these fate picks for us!
EDIT: The die has decided. We're going for the Unseeing Eye next.
Is that good?
No, but it could've been worse.