Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[Reinhardt]

2500?

 

[Reinhardt]

Useless fags. Every single one of you. Except Kalarion - he's ok.

At least have some decency and run. Watching comrades fighting forgotten beast and doing nothing is peak faggotry.

 

[Citizen]

WTF prolebashers are badass now? Biting a beast with poisonous blood is p. metal

Sukhavati entered a strange mood right at the moment when Aril became enraged. [...] It's almost as if they were connected somehow.

 

[Reinhardt]

Storyfag and Brother Mother Frank.

 

[Lagole Gon]

No homo.

Well, this is official. I'm the most tr00 and kvlt dwarven warrior in the fortress. Maybe in history. And half of my underlings are LITERAL POSERS! They were literally just STANDING and POSING!

 

[Demo.Graph]

TAKE A FUCKING GUESS, I said!

15k. That was close.

Let's compare.

T. Rex: The most complete specimen measures up to 12.3 m in length ... and according to most modern estimates 8.4 metric tons to 14 metric tons in weight.

Yep, that's it.
Lagole Gon has frenchkissed a T-Rex to death. (And will become a next tyrant. Fear his lecherous mouth.)

Now it's time to bring a lot of bones to Kalin. A 12 meters long skeleton even.

 

[BrotherFrank]

I guessed 1000, somewhat undershot the mark there.

Credit to the prolebashers, EACH and EVERY one of their contributions was essential, it was a TEAM effort, don't have room for any showoffs motivated by vain delusions of personal glory.

 

[Helly]

Wait. What about its random blood effect? Aren't we basically swimming in it?

 

[Andnjord]

Welp, there goes the dream of seeing both Grimwulf get hacked to death and Kalin go berserk in the same update, for shame.

Spoiler

I guessed 4 000 Urists

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Wait. What about its random blood effect? Aren't we basically swimming in it?

Can't be worse than all the kids vomiting about.

 

[Citizen]

Now it's time to bring a lot of bones to Kalin. A 12 meters long skeleton even.

THE BONEZ???

 

[vazha]

Excellent update. New headline for The Angerith ExaMiner: "The Kiss of Death: Lagole & Co Vanquish the Vile Beast". The opinion piece proposes to change brave Lagole's battlename to "The Trve Strongman", while his former moniker should go to Kalin. Also appoint Kalin as Lagole's squire if possible at all.

P.s. Pretty sure the battle wouldn't end as well as it did without my sage advice, and pretty sure that Givi, being Givi, threw a couple of barbed remarks that distracted the beast. Surely no one thinks Spigot's nimble enough to dodge anything let alone a primeval monster attack.
:pats himself on the back:
:hugs himself:

P.p.s. Truth be told, I prefer this steady flow of updatan to the gargantuan ones that take centuries to write.

 

[Lagole Gon]

I think I deserve a BONAZ after that. I'll accept it in a form of Kalin not getting his BONAZ even harder.

 

[Reinhardt]

I'm not asking for reward. I just did what any kommunist would do in my place - secured next update.

 

[Andnjord]

Truth be told, I prefer this steady flow of updatan to the gargantuan ones that take centuries to write.

I second that.

 

[Kalin]

Don worry bros I've got ya back. As STRONGMAN ah did promise bonaz for evryone, an era of BONAZ - even for a littul losar like Logul! See, im not a PETTY man... If a dorf does a GREAT DEED of course dey shud git GREAT BONAZ! Too bad tho... u littul kunts dindo SHEIT!

Huh?? Das RITE! Climbed atop a DYING trannysaurus to smack an fondul it as it dedded on itz own, woow BIG DEAL! Betcha it woud dedded twice as fast if ya just left it aluhn! An now wut? Idjuts runnin round draggin POZ blud splatter all over KKK das wat! BONAZ? ur bonaz is not gettin a BEATING!

 

[Grimwulf]

Lagole Gon has frenchkissed a T-Rex to death. (And will become a next tyrant. Fear his lecherous mouth.)

That is a whole new level of gross. Did you notice Aril's tongue was also covered in scales?

Spoiler

Larder Gown ain't getting laid anytime soon.

Wait. What about its random blood effect? Aren't we basically swimming in it?

The murder scene is covered in pools of deadly blood, yes. Naturally, the Prolebashers contacted the blood too. However, the effect isn't INSTANT - it's more or less like viruses working IRL. Also, we have no idea what symptoms does Aril's blood cause. It's deadly, but how deadly? Only time will tell.

The best way to protect yourselves is by not having sex. I'm serious. STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER, my fortress is PLAGUED with useless children!

Now it's time to bring a lot of bones to Kalin. A 12 meters long skeleton even.

That's MY trophy! I am YOUR GODDAMN KOMMANDER!

Kalin can have the skull of that DUCK Azira wanted to butcher. He can carve whatever he wants out of it. That's the closest thing to BONAZ he's gonna get.

Truth be told, I prefer this steady flow of updatan to the gargantuan ones that take centuries to write.

I second that.

What is wrong with you people

We're not progressing (only FOUR days covered in last TWO updates). Barely anyone gets a spotlight. No KEY CHOICES. How is it BETTER than a full-Season-update?

SOME people might rightfully report dis shit for brofist harvesting. I wouldn't blame them. Oh, well. If that what Konsensus demands, so be it.

Spoiler

Might not be able to post anything tomorrow, though. Gotta RECTIFY one last micro-issue IRL, dunno how long will it take.

 

[vazha]

Now that I think of it, Kommissar Grimwulf , we should stick this somewheres in the articolo.
Stick what, you ask?



Well...
This.
"Prodigious size alone does not dissuade the sharpened blade."
And this.
"Monstrous size has no intrinsic merit, unless inordinate exsanguination be considered a virtue."

Cant fucking well believe myself I forgot this, seeing as I've been binge playing DD last three weeks.

 

[baud]

I am surprised, the prolebasher seemed somewhat competent. I mean they killed a forgotten beast without any casualties and without any help from those beast hunters poseurs which are still in the tavern, I guess?

And I was off by 11 166 kg.

 

[Reinhardt]

I mean they killed a forgotten beast without any casualties and without any help from those beast hunters poseurs

And even without help from most of the so-called "prolebashers"

 

[Chaosdwarft]

I just want to salute our brave komrades
I demand we create a ministry of propaganda to make sure all the deeds of our komrades are celebrated and to educate future generations!

 

[Reinhardt]

I demand we create a ministry of propaganda

We have good Doctor Azira. And after recent battle he can have lots of skins to work. SKINS OF COWARDS!

 

[BrotherFrank]

I mean they killed a forgotten beast without any casualties and without any help from those beast hunters poseurs

And even without help from most of the so-called "prolebashers"

It might appear that way to the untrained eye and the tactically inept but Kaptin Grimwulf knows strategy and planned ahead for a long gruelling battle, thus it made sense to engage with a portion of his forces and keep others in reserves to rotate with the first line when needed, as well as to secure the rear from unexpected enemies opportunistically flanking us or worst, taking advantage of the ongoing battle to sneak into the undefended fortress. War is a science and clearly Grimwulf knows it, a notion further reinforced by him being in the rear so as to best oversee the ever changing battlefield and to direct his troops accordingly.

That you would have callously thrown every one of your troops at the enemy with 0 thought shows you should never be in charge of any military outfit and I pity the poor sods who would have to serve under you...wait...OH FUUUUUU-.

 

[vazha]

How many microissues remainin'? Is it friday yet? eh? eh?

 

[Reinhardt]

And that's why you never should negotiate with terrorists...