Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate 2 on Insane (feat. The Codex)

[ALchymist]

It's been a BUMPy road but don't slow down.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

An update a day keeps the shitposter away.

But that takes work so just have a bump.

 

[MicoSelva]

Last time on Let's Insane Solo Baldur's Gate 2:

The Codex achieving nirvana.

Update #111: Me, Myself and Brosword

Update #111

Am I interrupting something?

Don't lose your head.

I guess your bad day's over now.

Holy shit, i think I've just used up my daily supply of vorpal hits.

I'm not even picking this junk up.

When in doubt, ask the bartender. Or innkeeper. Whatever.

That's surprisingly convenient.

ANYBODY HOME!?

Answer or I will attempt to continue my lucky vorpal hit streak.

Yeah, you're not wrong.

Do we actually intend to kill him, or did I lie to this poor bastard?

Yes, as it turns out, we do intend to kill him.

One of the caskets, gotcha.

Hostile guards. It must be past curfew or something.

Uh, I would gladly play with you guys, but I am kind of in a hurry.

This cavern has such a bad reputation that they will not come looking for me here, even though they clearly saw me entering.

Yes, let us go with that explanation.

Fucking unavoidable trap!

That would be my passage.

Ok, let's see what this place has to offer.

Do not bother with trap detection, you will get instantly teleported to Balthazar after a few steps.

I don't believe you. It can't be that bad.

Well, shit.

Balthazar talk

You are as sneaky as you are bald.

Yeah, and who is she anyway?

Altruistic my ass.

However, you could be one of the last ones.

Usually the violence and destruction is already there. I may be bringing a bit of escalation, though.

Fuck me, this guy sure likes to listen to his own voice.

Which reminds me - this would be a good spot to show how the 'peaceful route' works.

peaceful route

If you want to avoid fighting Balthazar, you need to be prepared. High wisdom will make the proper dialogue choices available.

While high charisma will make them actually work.

You also need enough reputation (not visible in the screenshot), I think 18 or higher. We have 19 currently.

AFAIK, it does not matter what you say at the beginning of the conversation, only dialogue choices from certain point onwards matter. I did not test all options, but it is probably reasonable to avoid saying stuff which makes you sound like a complete psycho.

Uh, okay?

Again, with this 'ur evul, so u must die' crap.

Well, technically, you ARE.

You say as if this 'fruit laden with blood and murder' was a bad thing...

This 'victims of circumstance' line might be the first to actually affect the outcome.

And you mistake railroaded script for destiny.

We will refrain from making a Destiny MMO shooter joke, because it would become outdated soon, when that game is buried and forgotten, but we will acknowledge its existence.

Objection! Why not "before" I am dead instead of "after"?

She underestimates me, true, but you overestimate yourself.

Yeah, an unconventionally sexy angel told me that, so it must be true.

(Hey, this is actually working.)

Why the hell not?

Sure, sure. You can count on me. I'm lawful and shit. Honest.

Ok, bye.

Tragic.

If you are good or neutral, you can allegedly convince him to help you, but if you are evil, you can only drive him to suicide. I guess this is Bioware's David Gaider's comment on predestination vs. intentions, or something.

But let us get back to our actual path of violence and bloodshed.

tl;dr: We are going to fight Balthazar to the death. Also, it turns out Melissan is evil, who would have thought?

His students? I hope it's not the Furious Five.

Faster than the eye? What? Wait... Where did he go?

Ah, fuck it, doesn't matter.

There you are!

Show me whatcha got, princess!

urk...

Oh, come on, get up!

You are going to die, or am I wrong?

I was right.

Death Count: 405

Load.

He must have slipped me a rape pill or something. I can't remember what happened.

Probably for the best.

Let's take this shit a bit more seriously.

You called?

I need you to fight a demigod kung-fu monk.

Why does that sound like a lot of pain?

Because it is.

Alright, let's do this!

Tenser's transformation disables our spells, but gives us double HP...

Alright, you take care of the small fries.

WHOA! Where did you get that golem from?

ARRGRRGRGRHRHRHHGH!

Are you alright?

No, NOT REALLY!

I'll be right there with you, after I deal with this random monk.

Ah, there you are.

What is this SWEET FEELING?

I knew you'd like it.

Get back here!

Hey, ease up! I was knocked back by the dragon kick thing!

Are you unconscious? Crap.

Snap out of it!

Oh yeah!

I always have to do everything myself!

Xedoc, where the fuck are you? I always have to do everything myself!

Have you been slacking off all the time I was knocked out?

Are you dead? No? Then I suppose I wasn't slacking off!

Going in for the kill!

Focus on Balthazar!

CRAP!

Shit, Xedoc, why did you die!

Shit, Codex, why did you die!

Death Count: 406

We almost got him! I feel like we need just one more advantage.

This should help.

Let's go!

We are not using Tenser's Transformation this time, because it locked away our HLAs and Bhaal powers along with spells.

Overall, Balthazar does not seem as tough as Abazigal was.

This is a pretty even fight so far!

Shadowless kick!

A good excuse to play Wong-fei Hung's theme!



We can see why Bioware has made Jade Empire at some point.

Suddenly, my strikes seem to do fuck all.

Yeah, same here!

It is his 'flip resistances' ability. He can switch between near-immune-to-magic and near-immune-to-physical-attacks states. Currently he is in the latter.

Maybe I can bypass that with HAND OF MURDER!

Also, our golem died.

Ah, fuck, I might as well use this too.

Give him no quarter!

CRAAAAAAAP! Codex! Not now!

I'm up! I'm up... Huh?

We won!

The fuck?

Fucking A. I knew that sword was the leverage I needed.

Hi, mom.

What? Why her?

Oh great, two women talking and I am stuck with them. This is truly hell. Or rather abyss.

So... Who are you?

A priestess of Bhaal.

Oh. Then why didn't she say so?

I don't exactly know what 'succor' is, but I can imagine, heh heh.

What's going on now?

Great, dad. Fucking up all your children for some pussy. Just as expected.

At least you got what you deserved.

Good riddance.

Yeah, and it was all totally inconspicuous.

Well, of course I did. They were in my way.

The problem with linear betrayal plots like that is that they become really annoying if you figure out the betrayal before it is revealed, since you are still unable to do anything about it.

If you really want my, heh heh, 'essence' that badly, we can arrange some kind... transfer method. Would you rather take it orally, or...

Let us move on!

I disagree. It would also save a lot of time.

Wait, wasn't she imprisoned in Balthazar's dungeon?

Whatever.

I have no fears.

Aaaaand we're back.

Aaaaand everybody's gone.

Aaaaand Balthazar dropped crap. I mean... not literally. This stuff is clean, just worthless.

I'm leaving.

Oh, yeah, I can kill dragons and fight demigods, but closed gate - tough call.

I'm still leaving, though.

Let's see what's in my final room. Maybe it's the play room?

I doubt it, this is Baldur's Gate, not Dungeon Keeper.

I wonder who that will be.

Care to make a bet on that?

Ah, shit, someone figured out my ultimate tactic and summoned their own flying magical blades.

Let's see how ravaging you really are.

I seriously dislike unconsciousness effect in this game.

Like, seriously.

At least our hero did not feel anything.

Death Count: 407

I remember being hit in the head really hard...

This should help.

And since I am out of my good mage spells anyway...

Oh, wait, looks like the Blackrazor won't cut it.

...

Let's switch to the 'old reliable'.

This damage is still pretty damn low.

And we cannot use Hand of Murder and/or Whirlwind due to Tenser's Transformation.

And we are dead.

Tenser's Tranformation: you have been retired forever. Maybe you and Wail of the Banshee can share the same room in the Crappy High Level Spells Retirement Home.

Death Count: 408

I think I am going to need someone to divert attention away from myself...

What's up?

I have a job for you, my trustworthy friend.

Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like it?

No idea.

Anyway, you have to become the living target for a certain Ravager, so he does not kill me.

Great.

While brosword and I will take care of damage dealing.

Well, he's one ugly motherfucker.

Ready, aim...

Where the fuck, are you? Dead already?

Ah, fuck it. Tank for me, brosword!

Raaaaarrgh!

And they're gone.

Oh noes, and what will happen to Suspensor?

Cespenar?

Yeah, maybe.

Anyway, my final destiny awaits! For some reason, I think I should save my game in a brand new slot. And count my healing potions...

 

[Azira]

Dun dun dunnnn...

 

[Sodafish]

Better get a Wish scroll ready for dat pocket plane.

 

[Storyfag]

The Codex as the new Lord of Murder shall be much, much worse for the Realms than anything Bhaal OR Amelyssan could have stirred up.

 

[Baardhaas]

I sort of like this Balthazar dude. No scripted sequence where you kill him and he then crashes the game/comes back as a dragon.

Anyway, my final destiny awaits!

Yes!

 

[Krivol]

No update, middle of the summer, so I assume you are on the beautiful polish beach. Then I will tell you what you can hear there the most:

RUSZ KURWA DUPĘ!

Also bump!

 

[MicoSelva]

Vacation - I wish. Nothing of the sort. We are having tough times at work again, and a promise for them to get even tougher. I am glad we are so close to finishing this LP, because otherwise I would probably be forced to abandon it anyway.

I will try to finish this thing up until the end of July, wish me luck.

 

[Storyfag]

beautiful polish beach

You must mean fucking cold, surely?

Also, let's get this thread to page 79 before an update arrives.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

 

[ALchymist]

But page 79 is many bumps away

 

[Unkillable Cat]

If my calculations are correct, once this thread hits 6 more bumps...you're gonna see some serious shit.

 

[Wayward Son]

If my calculations are correct, once this thread hits 6 more bumps...you're gonna see some serious shit.

Well, you know what, motherfucker? I won't bend to peer pressure. That's right, I'm not bumping this thread by an inch.

 

[Wayward Son]

If my calculations are correct, once this thread hits 6 more bumps...you're gonna see some serious shit.

Well, you know what, motherfucker? I won't bend to peer pressure. That's right, I'm not bumping this thread by an inch.

Oh wait...

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Carry on my Wayward Son

 

[Azira]

 

[Krivol]

Are we there yet?

 

[Azeot]

almost

 

[MicoSelva]

I think I might have a cool surprise for you, bros.

However, it will probably cause a delay regarding the next update, so be patient, mmmkay?

 

[Azira]

 

[Unkillable Cat]

I think we'll wait for the surprise...considering we've waited this long for the damn LP to end.

 

[Wayward Son]

It's been ten days, where is da updata at, broski?

 

[MicoSelva]

Ok, I will admit that now the delay is getting bigger only because I am stuck playing The Witcher 3. Sorry, I guess?

 

[Krivol]