Let's press the button of awesome - Stolen memos found

[grotsnik]

I gotta ask: Can you strip your companion of their amors? Because Bethany could do with a stripping.

Change your companions' armour? Manually?!

My dear fellow, you need to get with the times. You're never going to survive in the modern world of evolved RPGs if you continue to think a game should have that sort of player control.

...nah. I believe some of the outfits alter visibly at given plot points. And you can buy 'upgrades' and so on. But that's it.

 

[Pegultagol]

I'm using IE9 and can view the images.

I see you're going full out with Anders...thanks for braving what it may befall to save us the indignity of going through them ourselves.

 

[Serious_Business]

looks like that gay warden joke was not a joke at all

Anders is such a bland character, too bad because you almost have to get him because of healing

Your shepperd is not extreme at all, and why isn't he black

 

[Azael]

I'm talking about first post.

It is uploaded to Imageshack which for some reason banned rpgcodex... I suppose.

Reupload, plx, bro

Firefox? Install RefControl and set it up so that Imageshack can't see that you're viewing images through the Codex.

 

[Ulminati]

looks like that gay warden joke was not a joke at all

 

[Twinkle]

PART 5 - SEX SAILS

So let's steer this LP on a more, mmm, straight path. First, we need to visit Varric for a session of Q&A.

Who's here...

You owe us, Isabela.

Well, Lucky, I'll tell you what...

Since the information you gave me was worth nothing...

... that's what I'll pay you.

Me and my boys will get our money's worth, bitch.

Oh, you poor, sweet thing.

Wanna interrupt my drinking?

I have boobs of steel!

The other goon tries to grab her, but it's not an easy task.

Critical failure!

And the boobs win.

Tell me, Lucky, is this worth dying for?

Chuckles I didn't think so.

We can level up Anders now. I grant him the old favorite from DA - Crushing Prison.

Let's see her closer.

My, and here I thought the only men in this place were besotted fools who couldn't hoist the mainsail.

You haven't met me.

Mmm, yes... though I'd like to.

I'm Isabela. Previously "Captain" Isabela. Sadly, without my ship, the title rings a bit hollow.

Yeah, so the chick have just owned three armed dudes with her bare hands, and now she bows in front of some guy she never met before. Instant gratification at its finest.

You're Fereldan, aren't you? You have that look about you. I was in Denerim not too long ago.

I even met the Hero of Ferelden, if you know what I mean.

You know, you might be just what I'm looking for to solve a little problem I have.

Solve your own problems.

You haven't even heard me out. There's excitement to be had -- or coin, if excitement isn't your thing.

Someone from my past has been pestering me. I've arranged for a duel -- if I win, he leaves me alone.

But I don't trust him to play fair. I need someone to watch my back.

I think I could manage watching your back.

Chuckles I'll bet.

I've arranged to meet Hayder in Hightown after dark. I'll meet you there.

Hayder? Lolz.

I hear good things about you, Anders. Not what I expected.

From a mage, you mean.

I didn't say that.

How else would you judge me? What else am I a shining example of?

I don't know... other Fereldans lurking in Darktown? Mage or not.

You... have a fair point.

We've yet to talk to Varric.

Ha, it seems that size matters even for midgets.

So, I've been dying to know: what was going through your head when you fought that ogre?

I barely noticed what it was. It stood in my way, so I killed it.

If I said that, I'd be full of shit. When you say it, I almost believe it.

Somehow, Hawke, I imagine things won't be dull with you around.

Not that I expect the Deep Roads to be boring, mind you. Constant threat of doom does tend to keep you awake.

What about you? Been in any good battles?

Does arguing with Bartrand count?

I've spent my whole life in Kirkwall. Dangerous enough, most days, but it doesn't compare to the Deep Roads.

So, this will be... let's just call it "an adventure," I guess.

Great, now we're adventurers...
Varric rivalry +15

He dislikes hard-on approach.

OK, we have to help miss Melons.

There is a bounty notification on the wall. More cash never hurts.

Even Hightown streets aren't safe: guard present roam there freely. Aveline does shitty job, to tell the truth.

And here she is.

There you are.

I've been here for hours. Hayder hasn't shown up. No one has. I don't like this.

"I don't like this"? That's right up there with, "What could possibly go wrong?"

That's the wench we're looking for. Gut her!

We clear the ambush.

Thatkfully tits are invulnerable, because to be fair she is a scrappy fighter.

OK, here we go.

More goons are waiting us at the Chantry entrance.

Isabela. Should've known you'd find me here.

Tell your men to burn the letters next time.

Castillon was heartbroken when he heard about the shipwreck. You should've let him know you survived.

It must have slipped my mind.

Chuckles Where's the relic?

I lost it. Castillon's just going to have to do without.

Lost it? Just like you "lost" a ship full of valuable cargo?

They weren't cargo, Hayder, they were people!

Those slaves were worth a hundred sovereigns a head, and you let them scurry off into the wild.

And now the relic's gone, too. Castillon won't be happy to hear that, I promise you.

Your threats end here.

Critical hit. If only in-game weapons were half as good.

Gaydurr is down. I like how mannequins smile even covered with blood, like nothing've ever happened.

Should've done that a long time ago.

Castillon won't hear about me from Hayder, but he'll find me eventually.

I just have to get him the relic. It's simple as that.

If getting the relic gets Castillon off your back, then I'll help you retrieve it.

I still don't know where it is, but you'll be the first to know if I hear anything.

Anyway, thanks for helping me out with Hayder.

I think I'll tag along for a while. There might be something I could do for you.

And I have a room at the Hanged Man, if you're looking for... company later.

Let's find her room.

OK, one hell of an ugly bitch requests Hawke's assistance as well.

The Fereldan, eh?

Athenril said you might help me.

Some raider captains are having secret meetings at night in Lowtown.

The job's simple: break up the meeting and kill every one of the bastards.

Just tell me where they are.

All the details are in this letter.

If you manage to eavesdrop on the meeting before you kill them, there's be extra in it for you.

I'll be here.

Heh, dat ass is too busy drinking to notice me.

Maker... I think he's ignoring me now.

Hey! Is my coin not good enough for you?

Oh? Hawke! Thanks for helping me with that little problem I had.

You going to buy me a drink to celebrate our victory?

Buy yourself a drink.

Well, if you're going to be that way...

Oh! Before I forget: You still looking for work? Because I have a friend who needs some help.

Hawke will play along for a while.

A friend of yours is a friend of mine. What can I do?

He didn't say, and I didn't ask, but I'm sure you're up to it.

His name's Martin. He has a room right here in the Hanged Man. Tell him I sent you.

Now, you going to leave me to my drinking or what?
Isabela friendship +10

Companions like this staircase for some reason.

I've always wondered, why is every surface dwarf a merchant or a smith?

You left out criminals and hired muscle.

They don't count.

We dwarves are drawn to shiny objects. Sort of like magpies, but with business sense.

You're kidding.

Of course I am. We come to the surface with the skills our ancestors had, Blondie.

You think there's a tradition of dwarf woodcutters in Orzammar? Bee keepers? Sailors?

Well, there could be mushroom growers and nug wranglers.

Orzammar will never let those people go topside. Too vital. Also, embarassing.

This Martin has a huge scar on his neck. Shady fellow.

So you've found me. Going to finish Martin off properly this time, are you?

Where's my property, huh? How's it feel making a profit off someone else's hard work?

Flinging accusations around blindly is a sure way to get yourself killed.

What is this? You looking out for me now?

Wait -- I get it. You're not a raider. Raiders don't talk, they just do the deed, and leave.

This could turn out well for both of us. If you're not here to end me, maybe you could help me instead.

I need someone to help me find out where the raiders have hidden my stolen cargo.

This job's as easy as peg-legged tavern wench, and there's good coin in it to boot.

I'll take care of it.

You'll need to look around the docks. The crates bear the seal of the Orlesian port authority, so you'll know it when you see it.

Just make sure you have my reward.

The coin will be here.

I've had it with the raiders, and this cargo is the key to me getting on the straight and narrow.

You're doing me a huge favor here, friend. Thank you, and be careful.

So, the docks.

Are you really not afraid of apostates? Not even a little?

Sunshine, I'm a dwarf, in case you missed that detail.

Dwarves aren't completely immune to magic, you know.

No, no, no! I meant there are at least thirty people in this town who'd murder my family over trade deals.

Who has the time to worry about apostates with a Merchants Guild breathing down your neck?

In that case... I see.

I'm looking for some cargo.

You're in luck! Cargo all around. Take your pick.

They don't pay you to be funny.

I'm looking for crates sealed by the Orlesian port authority.

Haven't seen any. Sorry.

Talk to the harbor master.

I'll bet he's got information about your cargo. He's in his office.

More pointless jogging. :fu:

Shipping manifest?

Speak sense, man!

The shipping manifest -- for your ship. Have to know what cargo's coming through Kirkwall.

Viscount's rules, not mine.

I need information, and you're going to give it to me.

No need to get tetchy. Talk to Aden. He'll answer your questions.

I apologize on Liam's behalf. He is a very, very busy man.

I'm Aden, the harbor master's assistant. I understand you're looking for Orlesian cargo.

I've seen the crates, but I can't remember where. Such a shame.

You're wasting my time!

Now, don't be pessimistic.

The clink of gold coin often jogs my memory.

At last.

They say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die.

Any helpful flashes yet?

Ah! Er, I think the cargo is in Alton Woodrow's warehouse, not too far from here.

Maker's breath!
Varric rivalry +5

This is private property.

You're in my way.

We're under attack!

All your properties belongs to us.

The warehouse is protected by traps, reaver, assassins and whatever you'd expect.

The crate contains poison.

Obligatory ambush near the exit.

Where did you learn yor magic?

I mean, you know my feelings on the Circle, but usually it's the only decent training a mage can get.

My father taught me. He was in the Circle once, trained there. But he got away.

You don't know how lucky you were, to have someone who loved you and could help you. Most mages would kill for that.

You remind me of him.

Fuck, now they are cracking old jokes.

So a human, an elf, and a dwarf walk into a bar...

The human says, "You're lucky you're so short. That hurt like mad!"

You could've just stopped me, Blondie.

Why waste a perfectly good set-up?

You're smuggling poison into Kirkwall. What are you plotting?

Nothing.

I got the stuff from a legitimate supplier, and I'm going to sell it through legitimate channels. It's all legitimate!

It's poison. It kills people.

I just sell it. I'm not responsible for what people do with it.

So? Where is it?

Do you know where Alton Woodrow's warehouse is?

Merchant Woodrow's place? I know it. Thanks for this, friend. You've more than earned your reward.

I'm going to get my goods. You come back once I'm set up, I'll give you a discount.
Varric friendship +5

What's interesting about this quest is the fact that, while being a self-parody, it represents BioWare quest design in a nutshell: Accept the quest - Talk to NPC(s) - Fight - LARP a bit at the end - Get the reward.

End of the update.

 

[spekkio]

Heh. Good to know that at least some female models are "interesting".

Too bad that you're competing with RK47 here - this battle simply can't be won. This guy outsources his LPs to China and India so he's able to update every 10 minutes...

 

[GarfunkeL]

This game is awful. AWFUL.

 

[Volourn]

This game is awesome. AWESOME.

 

[Twinkle]

This guy outsources his LPs to China and India so he's able to update every 10 minutes...

No. He just likes the game that much.

PART 6 - DEVIL MAY CRY

We are going to recruit the last companion available in act 1.

We need to initiate "Bait and Switch" quest first and thus talk to a dwarven contact. He's surrounded by a horde of bandits.

I like how oblivious NPCs don't give a shit even when a battle rages right behind their backs.

Sweet mother of partha! You can't just run up on someone like that!

Are you... the human Athenril told me about? The one looking for work?

Just tell me what you want.

Of course! Listen to me, babbling like a lyrium smuggler! Which I'm not.

His facial expression reminds me of

My apologies, human. I haven't been on the surface very long. I keep thinking I'll fall up into that sky any minute!

Bartrand used to be like that. Got jumpy every time he stepped outside.

What a bizarre thing to be scared of.

But I digress! I need some help. Rather badly, in fact. Some product of mine has been... misplaced.

The men who were supposed to deliver it decided not to. If you retrieve my property, I could reward you handsomely...?

Make it worth my time, and I'll help you.

Oh, I will! Or I'll try to.

The gentlemen conduct their business at night in a little hovel within the alienage.

If you have to kill them, then I guess it can't be avoided. But I'm sure they'll be reasonable!
Varric friendship +5

Aggressive criminals are everywhere, but there is a simple way to deal with them. Order companions to hold position in some narrow alley and bite maggots one by one.

Level up. And 7th and 14th you are given a choice of specializations which unlock respective talent trees. I pick Reaver for a small damage bonus.

Walkmeshes are glitchy in true Bioware tradition.

The goal of our visit, at last.

The house is full of weak maggots who can be dealt with two awesome buttans. Too easy, it must be a set-up.

It seems that dwarf lied.

It's empty.

Waste of bloody time! Who put us up to this?

I guess we have no choice but to go back to Anso and tell him.

It is a trap.

That's not the elf! Who is that?

It doesn't matter! We were told to kill whoever enters the house!

We are against a horde of bounty hunters. Hawke and his crew have enough AoE abilities to keep them busy.

Varric's crossbow can be upgraded to a something not so different from an automatic rifle.

Bounty hunters' leader LARPs a cool guy even after the destruction of his attacking force.

i don't know who you are, friend, but you've made a serious mistake coming here.

Lieutenant! I want everyone in the clearing! Now!

Captain...

The lieutenant is fatally wounded.

Your men are dead.

And your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can.

New love interest!

You are going nowhere, slave!

Get over here!

Spiky fist of fury.

I... don't... even....

I am not a slave.

I apologize.

When I asked Anso to provide distraction for the hunters, I had no idea they'd be so... numerous.

I take it these men were looking for you.

Correct.

My name is Fenris. These men were Imperial bounty hunters seeking to recover a magister's lost property, namely myself.

They were trying to lure me into the open. Crude as their methods were, I could not face them alone.

Thankfully, Anso chose wisely.

I don't appreciate being lied to.

Perhaps the deception was unnecessary. If so, I am sorry. I have become too accustomed to hiding.

If I may ask: What was in the chest? The one they kept in the house?

It was empty.

I suppose it was too much to hope for. Even so, I had to know.

I've done what you wanted. The job's over.

Not just yet.

He checks dead captain's possessions.

It's as I thought. My former master accompanied them to the city.

I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees. I will need your help.

If I'm compensated for my trouble, then I'll help.

I will find a way to repay you. I swear it.

The magister is staying at a mansion in Hightown. Meet me there as soon as you can. We must enter before morning.

He even has troubled past! Who knows what kind of "services" he used to perform for his master? I will help him.

Criminals are not learning animals.

Level-up for Anders. He has unique talent tree consisting of healing and offensive branches.

Brief stop at the Emporium to replenish potion supply.

The mansion in Hightown.

No one has left the mansion, but I've heard nothing within.

Danarius may know we're here. I wouldn't put it past him.

We shouldn't wait any longer, then.

Agreed.

He is a forced companion.

Dante Nero has an unique talent tree as well. This mode boosts his crit. chance considerably.

We fight with shades. Indoors combat is easy for you can always resort to an ancient "block the door with bodies" tactic.

He sends spirits to do his fighting for him.

Danarius! Can you hear me? Your pets cannot stop us!

Even if they manage to break the line, it will be too late for them.

We pick a key that unlock the central chamber from rage demon's body.

Ready to enter.

Duh, the room is empty. Danarius has successfully trolled us. In the meantime monsters are spawning behind our backs.

Done and dusted.

Gone.

I had hoped... no, it doesn't matter any longer.

I assume Danarius left valuables behind. Take them if you wish. I... need some air.

Valuables! Not even a single fucking sovereign. :X

Just noticed that my bedroom king queen is barefoot.

It never ends.

I escaped a land of dark magic only to have it me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and my soul.

And now I find myself in the company of even more mages.

You can speak to me directly.

I saw you casting spells inside. I should have realized sooner what you really were.

You harbor a viper in your midst. It will turn on you and strike when you least expect. That is in its nature.

My sister is stronger than you think.

You tell him, Brother.

And she isn't the only one.

I'm not blind. I know magic has its uses, and there are undoubtely mages with good intentions.

But even the best-intentioned mage can fall prey to temptation, and then their power is a curse to inflict upon others.

No one's stopping you from moving on, you know.

I imagine I appear ungrateful. If so, I apologize, for nothing could be further from the truth.

I did not find Danarius, but I still owe you a debt. Here is all the coin I have, as Anso promised.

Should you find yourself in need of assistance, i would gladly render it.

I'm planning an expedition I might need help with.

Fair enough.

Should you ever have need of me, I will be here. If Danarius wishes his mansion back, he is free to return and claim it.

Beyond that, I am at your displosal.
Fenris rivalry +5
Bettany friendship +5

Fenris actually has a pretty interesting personality. Edgy and lacking in manners, but always ready to out himself, having fragile appearance, but willing to fight, behaving like emo teen, yet supposedly experienced in the art of combat, and hateful of things he doesn't understand, he represents a stereotypical Codexer better than any other character in the game.

Let's get drunk with him.

Agreggio Pavali. There are six bottles in the cellar.

Danarius used to have me pour it for his guests. My appearance intimidated them, he said, which he enjoyed.

I can't imagine why they would be put off.

He throws the bottle

I'll take that as a compliment.

It's good I can still take pleasure in the small things.

You've had a difficult life.

I'd rather not speak more of it.

Are you certain? I'm willing to listen.

To my whining? Very charitable of you.

I've wanted to leave my past behind me. Bit it won't stay there.

Tell me, have you never wanted to return to Ferelden?

I have no home left to return to.

The Blight is over. You could rebuild what you lost. Do you truly not want to?

I have to admit, it's an attractive idea.

But not now. I understand.

Still, to have the option... must be gratifying.

Sounds like a tough situation.

I am not made of glass.

i should thank you again for helping me against the hunters.

Had I known Anso would find me a man so capable, I might have asked him to look sooner.

Talk is cheap.

Is that so?

Perhaps I'll practice my flattery for your next visit? With any luck I'll become better at it.
Fenris friendship +5

Sorry, no bromance this time. We'll have to wait until Act 2.
Hawke returns to uncle's home.

End of the update.

 

[Erebus]

I'm losing track of how many companions we can sleep with...

Going back to the Martin quest, we don't actually have the possibility to refuse to tell him where the poison is ??

 

[RK47]

This guy outsources his LPs to China and India so he's able to update every 10 minutes...

No. He just likes the game that much.

 

[Elzair]

Twinkle, why did you stop updating your table of contents? If the lack of the search function has you down, my tutorial will make it all better.

 

[Volourn]

"Going back to the Martin quest, we don't actually have the possibility to refuse to tell him where the poison is ??"

Is that Izzy's contact? Yup, you can tell him to fuck off, and not tell him.

 

[circ]

"Going back to the Martin quest, we don't actually have the possibility to refuse to tell him where the poison is ??"

Is that Izzy's contact? Yup, you can tell him to fuck off, and not tell him.

Consequences Volly! You can do that, and lose friendship with Isabela and Varric I think. But refuse him once, then ask for cash, and get the reverse result. PROFIT!

 

[RK47]

Hawke : Year One is pretty acceptable writing. Bioware really tried to put into consideration that whatever actions you took in that year will carry forth towards the next time-skip. I have a sneaky feeling that they realized it's not possible to cover all the bases and by the end of Year One, they were running out of development time and decided to create fake choices instead.

It was a waste of potential, considering they already saved time with 66% of the map assets being recycled over 40 hours, they still felt the need to pad the content with repetitive combat. I'm not saying Dragon Age 2 was a total failure, it's still a good game, but let down with repetitive combat and rushed development.

Twinkle, what difficulty are you playing at? You seem to be consuming a lot of potions.

 

[Idiott]

Twinkle, what difficulty are you playing at? You seem to be consuming a lot of potions.

If he hasn't changedged difficulty, it's masochist mode.

 

[Ulminati]

I'm not saying Dragon Age 2 was a total failure

True. It earns EA many shinies from gullible consoletards. So not a failure, just a crap game.

 

[RK47]

Twinkle, what difficulty are you playing at? You seem to be consuming a lot of potions.

If he hasn't changedged difficulty, it's masochist mode.

You're crazier than I am.

 

[chzr]

let me sum up this update:

 

[Volourn]

"Consequences Volly! You can do that, and lose friendship with Isabela and Varric I think. But refuse him once, then ask for cash, and get the reverse result. PROFIT!"

I also believe that if you accept his offer, he opens a poison shop later. More C&C!!!

 

[KalosKagathos]

Is it just me, or does this skill look epically useless?

 

[Overweight Manatee]

Unfathomably epically useless.

 

[Spockrock]

Unfathomably epically useless.

it could be useful with mobs with a ton of HP (like the high dragon or Hybris)

 

[Volourn]

Or if you have a weapon & shield character or mage drawing all the enemies' attention so your two hander can attack at will with no fear of being counetr attacked...

Not my fave ability, but just sayin'...