Let's press the button of awesome - Stolen memos found

[Azael]

Would probably lead to less retarded dialogue as well. Dragon Age 3: A tale of Sandal

 

[Volourn]

Definitely less retarted than the above post.

 

[Luzur]

encounter upon encounter upon another encounter, and in the main city too, everywhere.

 

[Twinkle]

PART 17 - DEEP AND HARD, II

Holy shit.

Is this what you were expecting?

I thought... an abandoned thaig, something old, but... what is this?

How did you even know it was here?

Old scavenger tales. After the Third Blight. A week below the surface, they said, but nobody believed them...

Looks like they were right.

Make camp here! We need to look around.

But does the ancient evil lurk here? Gaider, don't leave me in the cold!

And regarding cold...

...we install the rune that Sandal gifted to Hawke in the previous update on Varric's crossbow.

Hmm. Whatever's through there, it seems still intact. Think we'll find anything?

If we don't find something useful, this entire expedition has been for nothing.

Hmph. I suppose we'll need to go down there to find out?

The treasures are guarded by the golems of grimdark.

The next map.

What's this?

You see what I'm seeing?

Is that... lyrium?

It's definitely magic. And no the good kind.

Doesn't look like any kind of lyrium I've ever seen.

Looks at this, Bartrand. An idol made out of pure lyrium, I think. Could be worth a fortune.

Bartrand appears behind our backs

Whistles You could be right. Excellent find.

Guys, guys! Don't touch, it is glowing red which means it's EVIL. At least...

Not bad. We'll take a look around, see if there's anything further in.

..don't hand it over to him! Too late...

You do that.

Betrayal! He's closing the door!

The door!

Bartrand! It's shut behind you!

You always did notice everything, Varric.

Are you joking? You're going to screw over your own brother for a lousy idol?

It's not just the idol. The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune, and I'm not splitting that three ways.

Sorry, Brother.

Bartrand! Bartrand!

I swear, I will find that son of a bitch -- sorry, Mother -- and I will kill him!

Sighs Let's hope there's a way out of here.

Of course, there is. We need to drop an excuse to slaughter a horde of random shit in the narrow corridor, right?

The only new type of enemies - The Profane. They are Geth made of rock, shooting lightning bolts.

The Deep Roads in this one are pretty and well lit.

More combat, and...

Rock diplomacy, fuck yeah!

Enough.

You have proven your mettle. I would not see these creatures harmed without need.

We're defending ourselves. Keep your distance.

They will not assault you further, not without my permission.

What are these things? They seem like rock wraiths, but...

They hunger.

The profane have lingered in this place for ages beyond memory, feeding on the magic stones until the need is all they know.

They eat the lyrium.

I am not as they are. I am... a visitor.

I seems mostly interested in their hunger. It's a demon, come to feed.

I would not see my feast end.

I sense your desire. You seek to leave this place, but you will need my aid to do so.

Don't do it. Demons will trip you up every time.

Be careful! I don't like the sound of this.

What are our options?

I'll give it my answer!



Punching rock demon with a mighty fist!

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: I want to be a commander +100 KKK

Screams

Foolish!

Four more waves of filler and...

What is this place?

This is the vault. The dwarves would have brought their...

Oh, that can't be good.

The act culminates with the boss fight. Rock wraith is a mean bitch due to obscene number of HP and a multitude of knockdown abilities. But your main enemy here is the camera coupled with shitty pathfinding. Positioning is incredibly important here, for the boss can kill a mage in one hit. Keeping aggro on a tank is the only way to survive.

After losing a certain amount of health, it drops on a floor and begins emitting waves of energy. The only way to avoid it is hiding behind the conveniently placed stone pillars.

After releasing steam, so to speak, it becomes totally harmless, yet summons a group of the profane for defense.

At the second stage it rolls around a battlefield like a retard.

Ah shit, one down. Still, we will succeed.

The second stage is over as well.

The third stage: it addition to rolling around it becomes a vacuum cleaner as well. Despite the menacing appearance it's as harmless as a kitten now.

Almost there.

Fatality.

The rock wraiths are supposed to be dwarven legends. They're not even supposed to be real!

It's not very real now.

I suppose it doesn't matter. Look at what it was guarding!

Let's see if there's something that can help get us out of here.

Level up. Dwarf is becoming an ultimate killing machine.

And Anders get an old favorite familiar from the IE-based games.

The treasure isn't all al that hot, to be honest.

A key? The kind that opens doors, I hope.

Let's collect the best pieces we can carry out of here and then go.

Oh, yes!

Hmmm. I'd say this is our way back.

How long to get back?

If we're unlucky, maybe a week.

And if we're lucky?

We stumble over Bartrand's corpse on the way.

This part of the Deep Roads looks familiar.

We're back where we started, and in only five days. Not bad, eh?

Could we... slow down? I'm not feeling very well.

Let's not spend more time down here than we have to.

I'll wager it was those deep mushrooms we found.

No, I...

Hey, what's wrong with your face?

She faints

Bethany!

It's the Blight. I can sense it.

I'll end up just like Wesley, won't I?

I'm not going to let that happen!

I'm not going to last until the surface. It's coming on faster.

There might be something we can do.

I stole the maps from a Warden that had come to Kirkwall. I wanted to know if he was looking for me.

He wasn't. The maps were for planning their own expedition into the Deep Roads.

If it could help us, then say so!

If the Wardens are here, I know where. We could bring Bethany to them...

And do what? Become a Grey Warden?

Let's not waste any time.

Then I hope I'm right.
Anders friendship +5
Varric friendship +5

Hmm.

What's wrong?

I think they're nearby.

Or it could be the darkspawn.

Bioware can't escape adding a pointless filler even in such a situation. I've just wasted twenty minutes beating your cheap-ass boss, FFS

Grey Wardens arrive to the battlefield.

Anders.

Fancy meeting you here, Stroud.

I could say the same. I thought you were through fighting darkspawn.

I'm not here to fight darkspawn. I came looking for you.

You... mean the girl as a recruit? Of course you do.

I'm sorry. I know this comes as no comfort to you, but we do not recruit Grey Wardens out of pity. It is no kindness.

If Bethany dies, then so do you. Trust me on that.

You truly think that will help?

Stroud, trust me when I say this one is worth your time. With the Blight over, you Wardens don't have recruits lining up.

This is no simple thing, Anders. This may be as much a death sentence as the sickness, and you know it.

She'll die anyway. Take her and try... I'm asking you.

Very well. I will try, but if I do this, then we are even.

If the girl comes, she comes now, and you may not see her again. Being a Grey Warden is not a cure. It is a calling.

Are you sure about this?

If this is the only way you can live, then it has to be.

We must move quickly if we are to make the surface in time.

Then... I guess this is it. Take care of Mother.

Hawke nods

Fare thee well, sister. May the DLC take care of you.

We make in back to the surface.

Home, sweet home. Finally.

If wonder if Bartrand came back to the city. Yuo think I'd be that lucky?

Just make sure you let me know when you find him.

Trust me, you'll be the first to know.

I'm... sorry about what happened to your sister.

She'll make it. Bethany's a strong girl.

Is should have seen Bartrand's betrayal coming. I'll find that maggot if it's the last thing I do.

I imagine you'll be heading home to... tell the family?

I don't have much choice.

You'll be a wealthy name, Hawke. It wasn't all for nothing.

Oh, my baby! You made it home!

Bethany isn't with you?

No.

Is she... coming back?

I don't know.

Cries.

Oh mommy, what's happened with Bethany is nothing compared to the retarded unavoidable surprise twist that awaits you in the following act.

So the Champion's sister was a Grey Warden.

Yes, but that's not the connection you're looking for.

Isn't it? The involvement of the Grey Wardens makes perfect sense.

And the Champions' companions? Merrill, Aveline, Isabela... that Warden, Anders.

Don't remind me. I introduced them.

We thought they all came from Ferelden together, but now it makes sense. Motive and opportunity.

It's still not what you think.

Then I need to hear more.

Unless you've already decided. I can always go if you don't need me anymore...

Tell me what came next.

This concludes the first act.

 

[kazgar]

THE RAW EMOTION, I CAN'T HANDLE IT!

 

[kazgar]

Hawke's derpface in this lp overrides all.

 

[abnaxus]

So people only get the Darkspawns disease when the plot demands it? I don't remember any fucker getting ill after trudging through the Deep roads for hours in DA:O.

 

[RK47]

That's the issue with the whole Darkspawn gives infection in Dragon Age.

I really don't buy it. Throughout DA:O you see non-grey wardens gets splashed with darkspawn blood in almost every fight after the Lothering, yet the non Grey-Warden members like Leliana and Morrigan, or even the Mabari hound who BITES darkspawn never caught anything.

Oghren I can believe, but the rest is just pushing it.

 

[Storyfag]

Well, the Mabari was diseased once already, and then cured with the magical forest flowers. Maybe once cured it gained immunity? But why wouldn't the magical forest flowers also help humans? And yes, Leliana, Morrigan, Zevran, etc not getting diseased is derp.

 

[lightbane]

I think that pretty much sums it, the whole situation. It's so

 

[Twinkle]

ACT 2: I WANT TO BE A CHAMPION

PART 1 - FEELS GOOD, MAN

So, Hawke has indeed move up. The act opens with him invited to speak with the Viscount at the Keep about something really significant.

The compound was not meant to be permanent. There are concerns the Qunari influence is... no longer contained.

Was it ever? Kirkwall has tension enough between templar and mage, but these Qunari...

They sit like gargoyles, waiting for Maker-knows-what, and everyone goes mad around them. Nearly four years I have stood between fanatics.

And now this.

Don't keep us in suspense.

(To Seneschal) Leave us.

Meredith at my throat, Orsino at my heels, and a city scared of heretical giants.

Balance is held because the Qunari ask for nothing. Even the space in Lowtown was a "gift" to contain them.

But now the Arishok has requested you. By name.

What did you do?

That's my business.

I'm no fool. I know the Qunari are waiting for something, and it isn't rescue.

I remember how you helped my son. It seems you are meant to have influence above your station.

Speak to the Arishok. Give him what he needs to keep the peace. Can you do that for Kirkwall, Serah Hawke?

Is this a paid position? I'm somewhat in demand.

You've served yourself, built a fortune. I give you that.

But, if you -- and only you -- cannot calm this situation, I fear the only reliable investment will be in swords and armor.

Serve your city and then we will talk about what you are due. The Arishok is waiting.
Varric rivalry +5

Sure the conflict can be resolved only with diplomatic means without unnecessary violence, right?

Aveline is the genuine Captain of the Guard now. Let's check on her.

We'll need to give them answers by tomorrow, Captain.

I'll have them. Dismissed.

The seneschal was particularly vocal--

Dismissed.

The guardsman walks away.

You'd think the captain of the guard could requisition a templar or two, but no, that would be demeaning.

Can't have them working for the people when eternity needs a nanny.

Poor girl, can't make everyone jump on command?

I'm captain, not viscount. I didn't expect to sleep through this.

The occasional night would be nice, though. And it's mostly your fault.

Me?

The coin you brought to this city turned it like a lopsided cart.

The door is right there. I'll put you to work.

You've said that a few times. Bust heads for you and leave the paperwork behind.

It has its appeal. But that's not really me, is it?

Besides, I know what you get up to. A casual partnership is enough.
Aveline rivalry +10.

She didn't reveal anything on note. Merrill takes Bethany's place in the party. I max out Primal tree and add some debilitating stuff from Entropy.

Hawke leaves the keep only to be stopped by his new servant.

Oh! There you are!

I've been looking everywhere for you, messere. If only you humans didn't all look the same!

Is there something you want, Bodahn?

There's a, er, gentleman waiting at the mansion. He insists on seeing you.

He says his name is Dougal. Your mother thought it wise I tell you, messere.

I'll talk to him as soon as I'm ready.

Yes, of course. I'll let him know right away.

Er, before I go, may I simply say how grateful I am that you've allowed my boy to stay in your home?

I said I would repay you for saving Sandal's life, and I shall serve you faithfully. It is good to know he is safe.

I assume he'll pitch in, just like you?

Of course! I'll keep a close eye on him so his enchantments don't do any damage. I promise you that.

I'll leave you to your business. Don't forget about your guest... your mother claims he was eyeing the silverware.

Party banter pool updates with each new act.

Bianca is a very pretty name.

I'll tell her you said so, Daisy.

She can't actually hear you, can she?

Of course she can. What kind of a question is that?

Wait, are we talking about your crossbow or something else now?

A quest giver has been spawned a few steps away from Hawke's estate. Let's hear what he has to say. Multikult is strong with this one, for his elven mistress stands right next to him.

You! This is all your fault!

You and that blighter, Varric Tethras!

What did I do?

You'll be the end of my boys!

Keep on insulting me and my friends, and you'll lose that wagging tongue, little man.

Typical. Exactly the boneheaded bravado they've drawn to.

My sons are lost in the Deep Roads because of stories about you! Your sodding glory and treasure!

Don't you dare blame him! We both know this was Iwan's doing!

If you want to keep your job, shut your mouth, woman!

Your boys are grown men. It was their own decision!

I'm no one's nursemaid. Let your boys get out of this themselves.

You're the only one who knows where they went. They were following the path of your expedition.

Please help me find them. Don't let my boys die down there.

Hopefully we can save your sons before their idiocy gets them killed.

Why do I keep making friends with people who want to spend all their free time in the bloody Deep Roads?

Thank you, messere. Those boys are my life.

They entered the Deep Roads using the same passage you did. Please find them. I will see you rewarded for your efforts.

Home, sweet home.

I must admit Hawke has shit taste when it comes to clothing. Whatever, if they give him mood, I won't complain.

No time to rest - we have several visitors.

You've settled in nicely.

I deserve it.

Indeed. Still, more coin never hurts, right? Say, if someone wanted to pass some work your way...?

Things are busy, Aveline. What's your point?

Yes, good -- use that tone on him! Get him out of my hair.

Remember Emeric? The templar? He wants your help and some sort of official sanction.

Official sanction?

For his "investigation." He's convinced that every random murder in the past few years is connected, and he won't be quiet.

What can I do that you can't?

I would never say as much, but... he keeps asking for you. Maybe just showing up will calm him down.

He's in the Gallows. If it leads somewhere real, I'll take it off your plate.

Anything to shut him up.

Now to a less pleasant part.

Why, hello again! Lovely home you have here. And may I say your mother makes for delightful company?

I thought we settled our business, Dougal.

You've done business with this man?

Just a simple transaction, serah. A quick talk, and I'll be on my way.

I'll leave you two alone, then. Be careful.

Darling woman. Shame that she spends so much time here alone.

Just what are you saying?

Allow me to get right to the point: I know all this came from Deep Roads treasure.

I know you repaid me, but I think I deserve a larger share of your fortune. Fair's fair, right?

I kept my end of the bargain. Now get out.

Pity.

Have it your way, Hawke. We'll be seeing each other again, I'm sure.

Nothing in this world is free. Consequences!

Time to check the e-mail writing desk.

Yeah, spam is included as well.

Hawke needs to compensate for bad news with a little bedded diversion. The Hanged Man pub, where Isabela spends her days and nights, is the current goal.

Varric wants to speak in private as well.

Heh, it seems that behind the mask of cynicism he hides the heart of gold. Covertly, he protects Anders and Merrill. Here he tasks one of the Darktown inhabitants to look after Anders.

Just tell me if you hear more rumblings from the Coterie about protection. Blondie's got enough trouble...

Let me ask you something, Hawke.

You made it into Hightown. I'd expect anyone else to get complacent. But you... you must have plans.

I'd make a good noble, don't you think?

If anyone could handle a life of sitting on their butt all day eating bonbons, Hawke, it's you.

To be honest, I thought there might be a chance you'd want to go back to Ferelden now that things have calmed down.

it's good to hear you're sticking around.

Nothing's been set in stone.

You're keeping your options open? That's unusually rational for you, Hawke.

So, we've got a whole city-state full of trouble to get into. Shall we get started?
Varric rivalry +10

Martin has opened a poison shop. Hawke dumps unused stuff there. This item is of particular interest. A hint at future DLC that'll bring your sibling back?

Going downstairs.

Do Dalish honestly not recognize the difference between demons and beneficial spirits?

We've never thought of the Fade as the home of our gods.

It is another realm, another people's home. No different or more foreign than, say, Orzammar.

You can say that again.

But have you never studied the types of demons? They break down very clearly into different sins--

Spirits differ from each other, just as you and Hawke and Isabela are all human.

More or less...

Still marinating your insides?

Have to keep old age at bay somehow.

Do you remember the relic I told you about? The one I need to find?

I've been following a lead. I'm so close, I can taste it!

The search for this thing has consumed you. Let it go.

I just thought I'd let you know that I may soon be taking you up on that offer of help.

Do I get a kiss from the feisty temptress when I present her with the hard-won prize?

If you want. I'll even let you choose where I plant it. Chuckles
Isabela friendship +15

A pleasant surprise awaits at the mansion.

Ambushed!

Well, look who's here.

I knew it.

It turns out we'll need to do this the hard way, Hawke.

I'll get the money you owe me if I have to tear your mansion apart brick by brick.

For the last time, Dougal: we're done.

We are now.

With speed bonus active they have no chance.

So this is where you live. Not bad.

I preferred the old place. It had... more charm.

You don't like my new house?

The house is fine, I suppose, but Lowtown...

The smell of tar and the sea, and the sound of some whore plying her trade in a back alley -- don't you miss that?

You can get your thrills in Hightown, if you know where to look.

Oh? And where would that be?

I can show you what I have in mind.

An awkward robotic "erotic" scene ensues. For a company that focuses on cinematic presentation so vigorously, they should have hired some competent animators first.

Note that Hawke removes two oversized daggers glued to her back. Levitating weapons ftw.

A moment of doubt?

I should go. That was an... interesting diversion.

I'm not done with you.

Chuckles I'm not going to reveal all my secrets in one night.

Wait. You're not thinking of bringing "feelings" into this, are you?

No, this was just for fun.

Good.

Come see me at the tavern sometime. I know a cozy little nook behind the ale barrels.
Isabela friendship +10.

I don't want your friendship, woman. Your kind are too primitive to satiate my intellectual lust. M:

 

[kazgar]

Those spam letters are pretty fucken lame.

 

[Sceptic]

Well, the Mabari was diseased once already, and then cured with the magical forest flowers.

Not if you're a Human Noble.

 

[Twinkle]

PART 2 - FELICITATE ME!

In this update I'm going to recruit the last companion - DLC Prince. By far, he's the worst-written and annoying among them. To those who's have reminded of Anomen or Carth: yes, it's that bad.

He's at the chantry.

You could get another cat, you know. There's one in the Lowtown market with a litter of kittens ready to wean.

You don't pay attention to templars, Qunari, or politics, but you notice kittens?

Templars, Qunari, and politics don't meow and attack your feet when you're buying food.

Are there any tabbies? I'd like a tabby.

An evil tome. No, really, how can you decide whether the tome is evil or not without reading it first?

You've found one of Tarohne's books. The pages are filled with the secrets of blood magic. You feel a stirring of power as you look upon it.
You destroy the book.
Merrill rivalry +10

Demons are not amused with this turn of events.

The already crappy world design hits a new low. Books of blood magic. Demons. In the fucking religious center of the city. Somehow it doesn't bother templars, clerics or anyone else. In such moments you really start admiring Bethesda - now matter how dumb their NPCs are, there is at least some reaction to what's happening around them.

OK, back to business.

I thought it would end here.

Young master Hawke destroyed Flint Company. None remain.

Yet... now that I know who sent them, it's harder to see their deaths as justice.

Death is never justice.

Notices Hawke

I-- Hawke! We were just talking about you.

Is the Flint Company bothering you again?

"Hawke asked aggressively."

You know, I hate it when you do that.

"Hawke muttered in an angry aside to the dwarf..."

If, ah, you two have a moment?

I've learned who hired Flint Company -- the Harimanns, a noble family of Kirkwall.

They were my parents' allies. It's hard to believe they betrayed us like this.

They should pay for their crimes.

Unless I understand why they did this, any revenge I take will be hollow.

I must speak with Lady Harimann and find out what drove her to this madness.

But I am the last of my line. I should not go alone and make myself a target.

Fine. But don't think you're my top priority.

Thank you, Hawke. Having you by my side will stay anyone's hand.

If you like, I can travel with you until you confront Lady Harimann. Otherwise, you can always find me here in the chantry.

He joins the crew.

Other NPCs mock his ridiculous outfit regularly.

Is that supposed to be Andraste's face on your crotch?

What?

That... belt buckle thing. Is that Andraste?

My father had this armor commissioned when I took my vows as a brother.

I'm just not sure I'd want the Maker seeing me shove His bride's head between my legs every morning.

The estate in question.

It's surprisingly empty.

That's strange. The door's wide open.

And not a single guard posted.

This is not the Lady Harimann I remember...

No shit, Sherlock.

WTF? She's talking to a wine casket.

More! You lazy son of a bitch! What's taking so long?

Flora?

Why does no one in this house care what I want?

More wine! Or I swear, I will drown you in the dregs!

She doesn't even see us. This is no normal wine.

We encounter another mad Harimann sibling.

More logs! It must be molten!

You! More coins. I want every scrap of gold in this house!

Well, yeah. It looks like he wants to bath her in gold.

P-please, messere...

There's nothing to fear. You'll be all beautiful.

Pour it over her!

Don't! You'll kill her!

He can't hear me.

Sebastian knocks out the elf with a sword and the maid runs away.

Perhaps I should be the one...

We must end this madness.

A diary nearby explains the source of this weirdness. There is an ancient evil (tm) beneath the mansion.

Moving further... Wait, what's this? A blowjob?

Oh... lower... lower...

I beg your pardon, Hawke. I did not mean to expose you to such things.

What are they even doing! Mythal'enaste!

No! The feather! Use the feather!

Where have you been all my life?

Today, I am more than a man! Come! Felicitate me!

He has no idea we're here.

I've known Ruxton Harimann my whole life. He's a complete prude!

Where's your brother? Let's ask him to join us...

We find another part of the diary in this room.

And the last one in another.

The exit leading to the cellars.

Turn back. There is nothing here for you.

You're not in a strong negotiating position.

You shall not enter!

They all fall unconscious.


Oh, yeah, demons.

Demons. Temptresses.

We must see what greater evil they were protecting.

A worthy gift for the prince.

A ruin? So close to Hightown? I remember no such thing.

After patch 1.02 revenants can use pull ability again instead of throwing grenades randomly. Still, they are pale shadows of their counterparts in Origins.

Zombies are dead again and Hawke gets a new level.

This shit never ends.

New spell for Merrill.

Sebastian has incredibly poor stats. He won't be able to pick any serious lock without three more levelups!

The last big batch of foes led by revenant and arcane horror is slain.

And that's the reason I'd invested one point in Vengeance long time ago.

The ancient evil in person.

You must give me more.

Starkhaven will not submit. I put that idiot Goran Vael into the prince's seat, but the other families won't heed him.

I must marry him to Flora and solidify our hold. But I need more power.

I've given you much. Your desires run deep.

You've already traded your husband and your children. What more can you offer?

Your plots end here!

Who is this?

Who are you? How did you get here? Sebastian...?

You were my mother's friend! How could you murder her?

Such an ugly word. I prefer "removed the only obstacle between her and her dreams."

This was your idea!

I could create such desires if I wished. Bit it's far easier to nurture those that already exist.

The desire for power is easy to find. You and your friend both possess it, do you not? You both wish to rise.

Are you offering a deal?

You shouldn't deal with her, Hawke. Look what she's done here. She'll turn on you, too.

A deal? With you? What have you to trade, other than ambition too large for your grasp?

Bring me the loyalty of two cities; then perhaps you will be worthy of notice.

Do not listen to her!

Oh, such a pious soul, masking so much ambition. Are you so different from my lady? You yearn for the same lands, the same power...

I am the rightful heir! She is a usurper and murderer!

You swore to put aside worldly goods and ambitions. But they couldn't stop you from wanting them.

I will hear no more from you!
Sebastian friendship +10

You should have accepted my bargain proposition, stupid Fade creature.

Well, yes, it's about time.

Other mansion inhabitants returned to a normal state of mind.

Sebastian! I am so, so... "sorry" is such an inadequate word.

When I think what Mother made us do... what those creatures made us do...

We were friends, Flora!

It was like a cloud came down on me. All I could feel or think was what the demon allowed.

They're all dead. Your mother, too.

My mother has not existed for some time. What died today was only a puppet of the demon.

If it takes every last coin my family owns, I will make reparations to everyone we've wronged.

Starting with you, Sebastian. We weren't the only ones vying for Starkhaven.

If you face more opposition, you have my support.

It will not make up for what happened.

No, that's true.

I'll tell you when I need you.
Sebastian rivalry +5

Your armor is very shiny, Sebastian. Doesn't that make you an easier target?

The Light of the Maker is my armor, Merrill. I am not afraid.

Maybe you could ask Him to make His Light less shiny? Then you wouldn't need as much armor.

She haven't heard about destructive powers of BLOOM, it seems.

Now he starts preaching. I must swap him out ASAP.

Have you heard the Chant of Light?

That's the song they sing at the chantry, right? It's pretty... but a little repetitive.

Then you know the story? How Andraste became the Maker's divine bride and convinced Him to offer us a second chance?

Right. But I never understood why she had to die.

Her mortal husband betrayed her out of jealousy.

But if He wanted her to spread the faith, couldn't she do that better alive?

The Maker gave us free will. By his betrayal, Maferath showed that men were not yet worth saving.

I don't know. It's a nice story, but I think it's got some holes.

I had hoped prayer might cleanse me of the desire demon's touch.

But I still hear her voice so clearly. I feel like I've bathed in filth that will never come off.

The Harimanns won't stand against you. Will you ride back to Starkhaven now?

I don't know. Flora said others are still vying for the title. I should find out who before I charge in blindly.

In truth, I can't feel as righteous as I did before.

I keep asking myself, "Do I want this because it's right, or simply to have what I never thought I could?"

Don't let the demon make you doubt yourself.

In trying to retake Starkhaven, I have already brought death to so many.

Could I ever do enough good as prince to justify that?

Would you stand aside and let someone else claim what your family fought and died for?

I know you've done great things in Kirkwall, Hawke.

I imagine your methods haven't always been scrupulous, but you clearly do more good than harm.

I just don't know if I can follow that road.
Sebastian rivalry +10.

And regarding the bow.

I think this is yours.

My grandfather's bow! But... where did you get it?

One of the Flint Company mercenaries had it.

Thank you. It's hard... to mourn the loss of a thing while my family lies dead. But I did think of it.

Think of them with every arrow you fire to retake your land.

Yes. This will be a fitting weapon to carry against the usurpers.

Thank you for thinking of me, Hawke.
Sebastian rivalry +10.

End of line.

 

[lightbane]

That's proof of how little the developers care about the lore and/or consistency... It's so

So, are you forced to destroy that book? What does happen if your character is a mage?

 

[Twinkle]

So, are you forced to destroy that book?

You can also take it or read it, but these options bork the quest.

 

[Twinkle]

PART 3 - DEATH OF A TEMPLAR

Two more companions to speak to at this stage, possible bromances.

Anders is the first.

Hmm, I've missed dwarf's level-up.

Isabela is the one of his patients.

...don't come running to me next time you pick up one of these diseases.

Isn't that the point of magic?

I don't want to know.

Huh.

Things just keep going worse. I had templars practically on my doorstep the other night.

Don't tell me these things. I might have to lock you up to keep them off you.

They're not so much interested in me as... destroying my kind and all I represent.

The knight-commander is out of control. Even her own people have been talking about it.

The curfews. The midnight raids on mages' families. Everyone I know, forced into hiding so they won't be made Tranquil.

If they want you, they'll have to come through me.

Just being with me puts you at risk.

The knight-commander has declared supporting apostates a hanging offense. The thought of them hurting you...

Everything I've done to control this... I don't care. I would drown us in blood to keep you safe.

I don't want to see you lose yourself... to the templars or Justice.

How much is left if you strip both those out?

The world needs to see men like you. Who do not fear to stand openly at a mage's side.
Anders friendship +10.

Emotional elf is the next stop.

So the seneschal's tax collector won't be coming around again, like you asked. Funny story.

I'll pass, but thank you for the help.

Spoilsport. Why you want to squat up here in Hightown is beyond me.

I like the view.

So do I.

Smug bitch, it seems she's fucked with everyone in the city.

Three years.

There's still no sign of Danarius. I'm beginning to wonder if he's finally given up.

Then this is the prefect time to track him down.

I am not so certain.

Tell me: what do you do when you stop running?

Do you really not know?

My first memory is receiving these markings, the lyrium being branded into my flesh.

The agony wiped away everything. Whatever life I had before I became a slave... it's lost.

I shouldn't trouble you with this. My problems are not yours.

I might be able to help with your problems... or give you a few more.

Chuckles Only a few?

Or a lot.

Tempting.

You're a handsome man, Hawke. Is there no one else who has your... attention?

Do you see anyone else here?

I'm an escaped slave, and an elf, living in a borrowed mansion. None of those things bother you?

LMAO.

Not for what I have in mind.

Well that's something.

You raise an interesting point. I'll have to... consider it.
Fenris friendship +5.

Now moving on to one of the plot-related quests. It is a follow-up to an unsuccessful attempt to find the maniac who has been murdering random women during Act 1.

Blondie, I don't mean to sound critical, but have you considered a new line of work?

Such as?

Pretty much anything? I don't think "renegade mage" has a bright future. Or any retirement plan.

Emeric. You've been bothering the captain.

I've spent the past few years continuing my investigation into the murders of Ninette, Mharen, and the other women.

I believe I finally have a suspect, a man called Gascard DuPuis.

If you know he's guilty, do something about it.

Ah, and here we get to the crux of the matter. I cannot lay a finger on DuPuis.

When I became convinced of his guilt, I went to the city guard and demanded that they do something.

The guards raided his mansion and found nothing. They were forced to apologize, and I was reprimanded.

Meredith forbade me from continuing my investigation. But she didn't say I couldn't seek outside help.

No one else believes you. Why should I?

Because you saw the sack of bones. You found Ninette's hand. You can't tell me there's nothing to this.

What if one of the women who died was someone you loved?

If Gascard DuPuis is guilty, he must be stopped before he kills again.

We should help him. No one else will.

I'm not making any promises.

I'll take whatever help I can get.

You'll need to go to Gascard DuPuis's estate after nightfall.

Please figure out what DuPuis is hiding. If he's innocent, find evidence to prove me wrong.

It's just that simple.
Varric rivalry +5.

True dat, bro. Let's check what the herbalist has to offer.

Ah, my young friend, you've returned!

I must sound like a Chanter, since I know you've heard me say this before but, are you perhaps interested in a small job?

I am still in need of a few rare ingredients that, I have to admit, are difficult to obtain.

Let me know what you need, and I'll see what I can do.

Wonderful! I'll write up a list for you!

Well, we follow templar's lead.

Hurr durr, not a single night without pointless filler. Invisible sisters is the all-female rogue gang. Not sure why designers has put them in the game - they pose absolutely no threat to the party at this stage.

You've seen the piles of bodies

Shades in the greeting hall. It seems that this Gascard dude is really up to something sinister.

And he has associates.

What creatures are they talking about? The shades?

Looks like Emeric's right. Gascard is trying to hide something.

Maybe Gascard was looking for help from another mage.

I think these have been used in blood magic.

Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.

Why's he keeping these things around? I thought Gascard lived alone.

And that's really interesting.

An apology from Kirkwall's iron lady? That must have been a first.

We found the man.

Screams Help me! Please! He's gone mad!

You're not... you're not him!

Shit. I... know what this looks like, but I didn't hurt her!

Do you take me for a fool?

No, I didn't mean...

I don't know why you're here, but there's a killer out there, and I think he's playing us both!

Just... just let me explain!

If I hear anything I don't like, you're dead.

Several years ago, my sister was murdered. The bastard's now in Kirkwall, killing again. The same way he killed my sister.

It starts with a bouquet of white lilies. He sends them to each new victim. Alessa was going to be next.

I took her so he'd have to come to me. I was finally going to face my sister's killer, but then you showed up...

He's lying! He hurt me!

I've explained this! I need your blood to track you down if he took you. It was for your protection!

Let go of me!

She manages to escape.

She'll go straight to the city guard. They'll ruin everything.

You expect to fall for this bullshit after what I've seen? Ha.

You're lying, and I don't like liars.

No, I've worked too hard! It can't end like this!

Now to cheap corridor action Painkiller-style. You can't open some doors unless you've killed every creature around.

And Gascard bites the dust.

He drops nothing but a stupid hat? Ridiculous. The investigation has hit a dead end. We still have no clue about Gascard's associates. Time to report our findings to Emeric anyway.

If you've got something to say, just spit it out.

Are you sure you want to encourage me? I might be about to confess my undying love.

I get that a lot. So what's on your mind?

I just realized it's been a while since any of the gangs in the Undercity came to my door.

They're busy people. Places to go, throats to cut. Maybe you've slipped their minds.

Right. The apostate running the free clinic in the sewers. Easy to forget. You didn't have anything to do with this?

You must have me confused with someone else! I'm just a businessman and a storyteller.

He's nowhere to find in the Gallows.

Aren't you Hawke? Emeric left not long ago. He said you'd arranged to meet tonight.

There was no such arrangement.

But you sent him a message. I still have it with me.

I didn't send this.

You didn't? Strange.

That's not a good sign.

Well, I don't know. Emeric's been acting strangely for months. It's probably just a misunderstanding.

I smell a set-up.

Just as planned. Emeric is dead, hos body surrounded by a horde of shades and other creatures.

The police is always late to respond.

Some mage sent that thing here to kill him. Why would anyone...

Oh, Maker. The murders. Emeric was right. He was getting too close.

He suspected a man named Gascard DuPuis. Did he do this?

I killed Gascard.

Then who sent the creature?

Whoever did this is a dangerous apostate that Meredith will want found. I will see to it personally.

Thank you for any help in this matter. If you learn anything more, please come to me.

RIP, curious chap.

Returning to homebase.

End of line.

 

[RK47]

A blowjob. Demonic tome in Chantry. Archer with plate armor. Sigh.

The Decline is too much.

 

[Brother None]

You know, when I hear DAII is mostly consigned to one city I'm like "great, the whole MUST BE EPIC obsession is a taint on the RPG genre", but, errr, BioWare kind of messes the whole thing up, don't they? I mean the city seems to be fucking brimming with demons. And what's the point of sticking to one city when there's bloody ancient runes below it, narrative-wise? Chirp cheap.

Now to cheap corridor action Painkiller-style. You can't open some doors unless you've killed every creature around.

Hah. Delightfully cheap.

 

[Coyote]

The seemingly-ubiquitous facepalming art in this game makes me . It's like there's a Codexian agent in the art department at Bioware.

Looking forward to the followup on the serial killer quest, which is among the derpiest moments I've heard about in the game.

(Incidentally, someone ought to make a mod where there's a quest with a similar premise, only when you start to investigate, it turns out that the "victims" are all the people Hawke's been killing while wandering around at night.)

 

[kazgar]

Wouldn't want to be a street cleaner in kirkwall, every morning, get up, and there's another pile of bodies and blood.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!

 

[Erebus]

(Incidentally, someone ought to make a mod where there's a quest with a similar premise, only when you start to investigate, it turns out that the "victims" are all the people Hawke's been killing while wandering around at night.)

To be fair, the average CRPG hero slaughters enough nameless goons to fertilize a 50-acre field and the NPCs never seem to notice.

 

[Coyote]

True; I didn't mean to imply that it's something unique to DA2. It just popped in my head because of the close proximity of the "Hawke investigating serial killings" and "Hawke slaughters people by the dozens in the streets of Kirkwall" scenes.

Really, most CRPGs require the protagonist to be a bit of a psychopath. But I suppose that mental disorders must be more common than in the real world since these people are consistently willing to continue to throw themselves on your sword after watching you kill a dozen of their comrades in the first place.

 

[lightbane]

Then you should probably play Drakengard, that was an old PS2 action rpgish of sorts where it deconstructed/twisted/whatever many cliches, starting with the main character, who was an actual mute psychopath and also a mass murderer that enjoyed killing everyone that dared to oppose him (children included).

 

[Twinkle]

PART 4 - BROS DON'T SHOOT BROS IN COLD BOLD

Hawke receives a new message. Will check later.

For now we're going to check on Varric. He may reveal some new information about his runaway brother.

Hawke, I've got some news.

You might not want to be near anything breakable when I tell you, though.

If you have something to say, Varric, say it.

Right, sympathy be damned!

I've had an ear out for Bartrand. After the Deep Roads, he ran to Rivain, probably because he knew I couldn't track him.

But I hear he might be back in Kirkwall. He called in loans from a few of his contacts in Hightown.

It's about time we paid Bartrand back.

I agree! Bianca's been missing him something awful.

Let's stop by his new house. Welcome him back to the neighborhood, and all that.

We arrive to the location.

Your information was wrong.

I don't get it... my sources saw people making deliveries here just a week ago. This... looks like it's been empty for months.

Even if he was here a week ago, there's no one here now.

This is still the best chance we've got to find my brother. Let's go in.

Except that he enters the mansion alone. Guards gather in front of him.

So that's how you greet your brother is it, Bartrand? Fine. Say hello, Bianca!

Varric is killing guards in droves without any risk to his health. Why is that?

Finally, he kills three guards in a row with a single bolt.

His bro begs for mercy.

Oh, Varric! Please forgive me, my brother. I was just jealous of you.

How could I ever compete with you for Mother's love?

"You're strong and handsome and so very smart!"

As you might have guessed, the midget was bullshitting all the time.

:<

What?

Why lie now about this? What have you to gain?

What do you want to hear from me? I broke in. I found my brother, and it was awkward. Family business.

No. I think there's more to it.

Sighs Fine.

You want the gory details, I'll give you the gory details.

To his defense, the truth is a way more banal and boring. The first thing we encounter inside is a pile of dead bodies.

What did my brother do to these men? They were completely out of their heads.

The guards went insane for some reason.

Just another excuse for a corridor crawl. Don't let the minimap fool you: there is only one way to reach Bartrand himself.

We approach Bartrand's study.

A dude is hiding behind a corner.

Varric? Is that you? Praise the Ancestors!

Hold up -- I know this man. He's Bartrand's steward.

Hugin? What happened here?

Varric, your brother... That statue he brought out of the Deep Roads... Bartrand said it sang to him. Even after he sold it.

I've been hiding in here, but the guards... they're like crazed animals. I didn't dare go past them. Everyone in this house has gone mad!

I'll find Bartrand and put an end to this.

Thank you. Maybe there's no one left alive in there, but if there is... grant them a quick end.

Bartrand took the servants and locked himself inside the study. No one's come out for days.

And those sodding lunatics just keep prowling the halls.

Then we go after him. Come on, Hawke. Let's finish this.

I understand they needed some plot device to explain the situation, but a lonely unarmed servant surviving a week in the small mansion packed with mad guards is just lazy.

Whatever, it's time to kick Bartrand's treacherous butt.

After being beaten he resorts to inane ramblings.

I can't... I can't... hear it anymore. I just need to the hear the song again... just for a minute...

Stop saying that! I know I shouldn't have sold the idol to that woman! It was a mistake! A mistake...

Bartrand, get ahold of yourself! Do you know where you are? Do you know what you've done?

Varric! You'll help me, won't you, little brother? Help me find it again? You were always the good one...

Help you? Bartrand, you left me to die! You left all your men to die! And for what? Some trinket?

Look at yourself! Look at what you've done to the men and women who served you! Where's your nobility, Brother? Where's your dwarven honor?

Maybe Anders can offer an advice.

This doesn't feel natural. If he wasn't a dwarf, I'd think a demon did this. His mind has been... poisoned by something powerful.

That's all I can do. It won't last. I'm sorry.

Anders's intervention clears Bartrand's mind for a short time.

Varric?

I'm here.

Varric, what have I done?

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

Make it stop, little brother. Don't let me... don't let House Tethras fall like this.

I know... I don't deserve it. But please, Varric... don't leave me like this. Make it stop.

Enough with the speeches! I'll get you to a healer, and you'll be fine.

No, you won't after all that filler!

He's not worth your sympathy. Kill the bastard.

I can't do it, Hawke. I thought I could.

I thought he'd be gloating, lying on a bed of gold and commissioning painters to memorialize the instant he sealed us into the Deep Roads.

But look at him. Whatever that idol was, it did worse to him than I ever could.

You heard Anders, he's possessed. As long as he lives, he's a threat to everyone around him.

Goodbye, Brother.

And the bolt pierces Bartrand's chest.

Come on. I don't want to look at this place anymore.
Varric rivalry +15.

We leave the mansion.

Something on your mind, Varric?

I should thank you for your help with my brother.

He was a jackass, and he tried to kill us, but... that was still the hardest thing I've ever done.

I don't know -- maybe I could have found help for him.

Bartrand didn't leave you any choice. You had to kill him.

I suppose it's a little late to worry now.

I don't know if surface dwarves go back to the Stone, or hang around singing hymns with Andraste, or what.

I just hope wherever he is now, Bartrand stays out of trouble.

It's not your problem anymore.

I wouldn't put it past him to get back at us somehow.

Anyway, thank you. I'll keep looking into who bought that blighted statue. At the very least, they need to be warned about what happened.
Varric friendship +15.

Well, sorry, lady, it can't be an RPG without gangs of reckless morons trying to jump on your sword every time they see you.

Varric wants to talk with Hawke again.

Have you heard the stories they're telling about you, lately?

They're saying that you and a band of pirates tried to burn the chantry down in the middle of the night.

I get the feeling you started this rumor.

Hawke, you wound me. That's not my story.

I don't have to make shit up about you. The truth is much more entertaining. Not to mention incriminating.

I'm not spreading rumors. I'm just telling you which way the wind is blowing.

You had better not be spreading wild rumors about me.

Of course not! Not wild ones, at least. I only spread those about Daisy.

Anyway, all I'm saying is, don't be surprised if people look a little nervous around you.

It's just the way the wind is blowing. I'll keep an ear to the ground and let you know if it turns ugly.

This pointless conversation is meant to demonstrate Hawke's personality to a player. If Varric mentions that "people are getting nervous", it means that aggressive/direct stance has taken over.

So, I hear you've been visiting the viscount's gardens, Daisy.

They're enormous! And they're always empty. Why don't more people go to see them?

Probably because they're private and surrounded by guards.

I thought all those men looked a bit cross.

End of line.