Floor 2
The stairs down to the second floor of the dungeon are at (0,10) and are very easy to reach. In fact, when you play the game for the first time, you're more than likely to climb down to the second floor before you properly explore the first one or fight Murphy's Ghost -- and in that case, you'd be decidedly underleveled for what awaits you there.
You see, the second floor has two new kinds of enemies. The first are enemy spellcasters, such as lvl1 Priests, Mages, or Gas Clouds; the spellcasters can put you to sleep or launch a fireball or cast a Badios at one of your back row characters (who have low HP, which can result in a one-hit kill if you're underleveled and the dice aren't on your side). The second are enemies that paralyse you - we'll meet them face to face soon enough. The level design also has a couple of new tricks to keep things fresh. First, there's our very first pit at (12,11) that you
don't want to fall down in, believe me; being the first - so to speak, tutorial - pit, it gives you
three warnings before you reach it so you could turn back. (The "clouds" in the map are simply "events" of all kinds, such as messages, locked doors, and the like.) The doors at (8,7) and (8,12) are only opened by the two keys we found back on floor 1; they let you access the two new items I'll show off in this update. Finally, there's another dark zone, and a tricky one at that, this time with a key behind it. Also, note that the small elevator zone is cut off from the rest of the floor, so even if you take it to arrive to B2, you won't be able to explore the place properly.
Anyway, here we are. Time to get our lazy developer asses moving.
Hey peeps, I've been meaning to ask this one thing. There are six of us, right? So why is it that we always move as one? It's just so...
Unrealistic, man.
Yeah, it's like we're a dude with six heads or something.
So last-gen, man.
Why's that? I think it's pretty cool.
Oh, just... shut up, man. You've
no idea how the current tech works! Nor does
anyone at Obsidian.
Bethesda Softworks are
always at the forefront when it comes to defining what is last-gen and what not.
Yeah!
I'm sorry to say this, Josh, but entering your office is like being sent back in time. People scribbling notes,
writing something, like it's still the Middle Ages! No wonder you're stuck in our basement.
At Bethesda, we only let the AI do the writing.
That's what we call radiant.
Well, personally, I think it's positively innovative. You only need to press
one button for
six characters to move! The same button you open doors with! Ground-breaking stuff.
Well, if you put it that way... Still, I can always hear Gaider breathe heavily behind me. Brrrr.
*sings* Just turn around... I'll be two steps behind. Yeah, baby. Two steps behind.
It's... disconcerting.
Yeah, man, so disc... what?
Gets me worried, Pete.
Hey, don't worry, man. I'll always be right beside you.
Oh, I almost forgot.
We don't really need to, but we may as well identify the two keys we found back on the first floor. Naturally, they work just fine without being identified, and I know full well what they're for, but why the heck not. At the moment, as you can see, they are both marked as "?Key" in our inventory. In Wizardry, identifying items is the Bishop's job, so we must first move the keys from Pete's inventory to MCA's. And that's what the
Trade command is for.
Welcome to the screen of trade. Here, we can choose which of the other characters Pete is going to trade items with. The inventory space is limited: each character can only carry up to 8 items, including the ones he has equipped. The equipped items can't be given away. The interface is even friendly enough to show you how many free slots each of the character has and whether or not the item can be equipped by the character you're trading with. Well, that covers is, I guess.
We hand the two keys over to MCA and then
inspect him.
To start identifying items, we pick the
Identify command from the
Read menu. For classes other than Bishop, the Identify option is greyed out.
You... don't have a clue, MCA-sensei?
Tsk. Ever impatient, Josh.
I'm sorry I doubted you, MCA-sensei. I'm so sorry!
The keys are a Key of Bronze and a Key of Silver.
As we enter the door at (8,12), automatically unlocked with the silver key, we are immediately assaulted by a group of Weird Humanoids. Nothing major, I'm sur--
Aaah! Zombies!
Did someone say...
...zombies?!?
*play a mariachi song*
We see you have a most peculiar zombie situation.
A dead state, so to speak, haha.
In other words, it looks to me like you
desperately need
a copy of Brian Mitsoda's new book, amigos. Only $13.95!
This book is hilarious - not for all audiences, true, but clever, well-structured, and not above a certain gleeful abandon, referencing ancient myths and cyborgs in the same beat. Great for a quick read, and even better for a cheap gift for someone who shares a quirky sense of humour!
*entranced, hands over $14*
Thanks, amigo. We'll keep the change.
In the
state we're in, every penny counts, haha!
Adios, amigos!
That was weird.
Kind of sucked the horror right out of it.
The hell was that?
Don't you know, Dave? That's the space zombie mariachis. Call themselves DoubleBear.
DoubleBear? What a weird name.
Even with Brian's new book, things don't go too well next turn.
Another fine game developer down.
Todd, nooooo!.... I will avenge you, Todd!
Todd! Dear! Can you hear me? That zombie got what it deserved! Todd!.. Answer me, Todd! Please! *sobs*
In the name of Gaider, identify yourself!
Oh my oh my! Sawyer, do something!.. Sawyer? Josh?.. Someone! Anyone!
Looks like it's just two of us now, Pete. Let's carry them back to town.
Good thing there's a money exploit in this game. We're going to need LOTS of gold to cure this one.
Back in town, the
Temple of Cant is the place.
cant /kant/
Noun
Hypocritical and sanctimonious talk, typically of a moral, religious, or political nature.
Hmm, yes, yes, I see. Makes perfect sense.
Pete currently has 500 gold, and the treatment costs 300 gold. We'll have to repeat that for each of the paralysed characters.
DISCLAIMER: At this point I quit the game but forgot to save it. So I had to start the second floor all over again. Crap.
Back to the dungeon we go.
Naturally, being evil, we choose to fight. Despite being, well, gaseous,
Gas clouds could be kind of tough for an underleveled party (thankfully, we are not), due to the fact they can cast the fireball spell, Halito:
Offensive spells tend to hit those in the back row, which isn't exactly a good thing. Back row characters are in the back for a reason, you know.
Damn. Hit-and-run is perhaps
the most annoying enemy tactics I know of.
Next turn, the Gas Clouds reveal their true form...
...which is the last thing they do before being laid to eternal rest. Luckily, in addition to being cowardly and prone to fleeing, Gas Clouds don't have many hit points, and are therefore easily disposed of.
We also get a "?Sword" for loot, but it turns out to be a simple Short Sword, meh.
Next we meet a pair of
Creeping Cruds. They can poison you, the gooey bastards.
Still, again, their HP is low, so we kill them before they can do anything nasty.
The next fight is unremarkable, since it's just some Slimes we're facing, except for one thing: it's the first time we encounter
two enemy groups at once. In that case, you get to choose which group to target. Generally, it's a good idea to put one of the groups to sleep and deal with the other one first. Things will get even simpler once Laidlaw learns a group target offensive spell, but that'll only happen a couple of updates later.
And then we finally reach (9,18):
Wizardry sure isn't serious business.
We search around and find a fancy bear statue. It will be required for us to enter this floor's dark zone, as well as enter a certain door on B4.
WHEN SUDDENLY
As soon as we take the statue, a group of three Priests ambushes us.
Argh. Things may get unpleasant, so we put them to sleep ASAP.
After that, it's basically a walk in the park.
We are rewarded with some exp and a chest with an Exploding Box trap, which Gaider disarms.
Boxes are another of my specialities.
??
Don't you follow me on twitter? "Boxed cat incoming!" "No, no! Don't stick a poor cat in a box. It's cruel, and the Duchess won't like it."
?????
Eh, forget it.
Soon all the characters gain enough experience to level up again.
Peeeeete!
Better now.
Todd improves his extra-low Agility a bit, but is still down on his Luck.
Sawyer learns new spells!
The new spells are
Calfo, which reveals a chest's trap (still has a 5% chance of failure though), and
Manifo, which attempt to paralyse a group of monsters. The success of immobilisation being dependent not only on the dice, but also on the monsters' resistances. While paralysed, the target gets hit for double damage.
Gaider is now stronger, which should help make his backstabbing more efficient.
Even more efficient.
Sure, sure.
MCA only gains 1 HP, but hey, all his attributes are improved and he finally learn his first Priest spells!
The spells are
Kalki and
Milwa, and you should already be well-familiar with those.
Finally, Laidlaw's stats are all increased, but no new spells learned.
We also have enough money to buy Pete new armour.
The
Sturdy Plate reduces Pete's current AC by one. Not much, I admit, but every hit point is soon going to be crucial.
His old Plate Mail is sold, of course.
Back on B2, a Lvl 1 Mage suprises us only to realise he's outpowered and outnumbered and flee a moment later.
(12,4) has a statue of a frog:
"Yeah... Yeah..."?.. Dave, do I recognize your style? Did
you write this?
Eh, I may have, Mike. Wrote so much shit in my lifetime, you don't even begin to imagine. Epic shit, character-driven shit, romantic shit, you name it. 3000 words a day! May have written a "yeah... yeah..." or two as well.
Anyway, we grab a Statue of Frog. Again, we wouldn't be able to enter B2's dark zone without it.
But now that we have the two statues, let's brave it.
Even dark zones have random encounters, apparently.
We kill the
Man in Robes before he is identified, but my meta-gaming knowledge tells me it was an enemy Mage.
After bumping into a few walls along the way, we finally arrive at (4,16):
What's with the catchickens and keys, eh?
The key turns out to be a Key of Gold.
Oh FFS. But I won't be saying the z-word again.
This time we manage to kill them without becoming paralysed, though.
Hey Underlord... have you ever thought about planting a garden?
I haven't really. Why?
Things seem so grim here all the time. The dungeon could use a few flowers.
....
Haha, just kidding, just kidding. Sheesh.
The only thing left to show off on B2 is the pit.
The first two warnings are kind of indefinite.
The third one is pretty straightforward, however.
And if we take the fourth step...
Good stuff.
Phew, this was one long update. See you next time!
of Bee. 
Plus, with my Escape from Hell and Sentinel Worlds LPs, I helped spread the word about good old RPGs, which should be, like, the official Codex policy.
