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Let's play Mother 3 (Completed)
- Thread starter lightbane
- Start date
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update this week (if lucky), I cannot allow Black Cat and spekkio to outnerd me with even more bizarre games 
As an appetizer, I'll say that the "real" plot starts. And that,
PS: What's that pic supposed to be ghostdog?
PPS: Some bad news, during the following weeks it will be more unlikely to have updates 'cause exams will be close.
As an appetizer, I'll say that the "real" plot starts. And that, one important character dies
PS: What's that pic supposed to be ghostdog?
PPS: Some bad news, during the following weeks it will be more unlikely to have updates 'cause exams will be close.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update the twelfth: The tale of the needle and the magical transvestite cross-dressing fairies
In which our bro-party is still not reunited, an actual plot happens, (gay) shit happens and possibly “subtle” comments of racism. Arf!
Let’s start with a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koUhmEkBE9k
”You young’uns have it so nice…”
Nothing new here, perhaps we should be going…
Suddenly, Ghostdog sniffs something and runs off. We’ll follow him… taking our time.
”That must be exhausting.”
Lol, this will make quite a scene. You’ll notice here that the new “citizens”, the foreigners of the Pork-army are nothing more than an useless xenophobic paranoid bunch of barbarians (not that the original villagers were better, however). Oh, and it seems they previously never met a tranny.
Guy: ”I think he should go back there, where he belongs.”
Guy: ”But I dunno what to do, so I’m just standing here doing nothing.”
Woman: ”What should I do? Should I stand her up?”
“No”
Man: “Come on, lemme tell you. Too bad, I’m gonna tell you anyways, yes I am. I picked up this doorknob the other day, but I was irritated at the time, so I threw it to the east as far as I could. I wound up dislocating my shoulder as a result. Actually no, I was just fibbing about that last part. Hahaha.”
Girl: “But what if she goes crazy and hurts people if we do?”
She has a point, but…
“and down like so and slowly slipped it off! Ooh, I’m wonderful! I hate to be a bother, but could you stand me up?”
”I was minding my own business, taking off my makeup, when suddenly I was physically assaulted! Oh, whan an unfabulous time to be attacked! Oh, my! You’re that boy I met at the hot spring the other day, aren’t you? It seems the threads of fate have led us to each other again. From the moment I realized you could use PSI, I knew there was something between us. You’re undoubtedly the one we Magypsies have been waiting for tens of thousands of years… right? Can you sense it too? Can’t you feel ‘the time’ drawing near? It’s okay if you can’t. I’m not entirely sure about it, either. Wait a second! If I was attacked… Coud it mean… I hope Aeolia is all right! I wish I could fly there, but I can’t without my makeup on! All I can do is walk on land like a human. How tragic. Oh well, I’ll walk if I have too. And you. You’re coming with me! Come on, let’s go to Aeolia’s house! Okay?”
”Nope, no dice.”
“This isn’t like packing for a trip or brushing your teeth or any daily chores like that. This is on a whole different level altogether. We’re going to Aeolia’s house together, okay?
” I SAID no”
”Too bad! We’re going! (Ionia joined the party) We could reach Aeolia’s house easily by going straight up this river, but…”
Guy: ”I have nooooo idea what you were talking about just now, but if it’s up the river you want to go, then it’s our time to shine! C’mon! Follow us!”
The two unnamed guys leave. Now as a good codexer Lucas will troll the villagers by harassing them with a tranny, and wait for their reactions.
Guy: ”Whoa. Oh, sorry, I mean that in a good way.”
Woman: ”you stood her up for me. I guess the ability to take action is an important thing to have, huh?”
Girl: ”And her beauty makes her all the scarier!”
Beauty??
Don’t ask. The screenshots do not show it but Ionia follows Lucas by making short jumps, Lucas did wanted to untie Ionia for some reason (probably to annoy it, he’s not stupid as he look).
Matt: ”That’d freak anyone out.”
Pigmask:”Jack had a cold, but he got over it completely!... A lot of time HAS passed, after all.”
Deep. I do not recall Mass Erect, DA, Mass Erect 2, Oblivion or even any recent rpg having complex riddle like this one.
Pusher:”Get out of here! Leave! Leave this village!”
Apparently the fat greedy major’s greatest fear is… A tranny?
Sebastian: ”My name is Sebastian, and working busily is all I do.”
The 4th wall is for the lesser men.
Repressed/ unconscious homogay detected.
Mapson: ”Oh, hi there, Lucas. That’s a strange friend you have with you. No, no, no. I don’t mean there’s anything wrong with that. What? Aeolia’s house you say? I don’t know who that is, but I think it’s around here somewhere, I’ll mark your map for you.”
Jill: ”So I expected my little Biffy and Butchy to come back home, but they wound up going to some New Pork Something-or-Other instead.”
Oh yeah, starting at this chapter the townsfolk will slowly begin to leave this village. I’m not sure if I overanalyzed it but despite the minimalistic graphics and all the game manages to make this situation sad: the townsfolk have been corrupted so much by the porkarmy’s jew-lies that they started rushing to an unknown city, throwing away everything they had for a stupid whim, Hinawa would not be amused by it (to be fair, half of the villagers were not precisely beings with basic human empathy and common sense, eh Isaac?). The good news is that this leaves me with less text to transcribe. Yay!
Cultist: “Can you hear the voices too?”
Lisa: ”You know, you should really be mindful of who you make friends with…”
The Triumvirate continues to bitch about everything as alway. Womyn, womyn never change.
Paul: ”I think people should be free to do whatever they want.”
Abbey: ”But if he’s from the forest or the middle of nowhere that’s just creepy.”
Your logic is as flawed as your mind.
I dunno, try walking away of your happy box and explore the world and talking with people, stupid redneck..
Jackie: ”Conversely, people wanting to leave this village for the city are on the rise. In which case, it would be best to move out our hotel to the city. Right? Well, that’s what I think at least.”
Punk guy: ”I dunno what to do so I’m gonna stay in here again today. I’m afraid. Every day I’m so afraid. I can’t leave my room, I’m so scared they’ll demand that I pay up.”
Sooner or later you will have to go to the bathroom, so…
Nichol: ”I don’t want to be stuck in this blah village forever.”
Yeah, because a city filled with strangers and dominated by a no-nazi army when your father is one of the few that’s not an incompetent heartless asshole here is a good idea, no?
I take it back what I said.
Old Guy: ”But… it’s starting to get hard for me to stay too.”
You cannot stop the Many.
”Will you-a buy-a something?”
The items he sells are averageish, useful only if for some reason we went to fire-themed dungeon (spoiler: we will).
About that, sometimes supposedly on the game you’ll hear a strange tone reminiscent of Leder’s bell, it’s something identical of when in Earthbound Ness’ father called to tell the player to rest a little, I don’t if it’s because this game runs on an emulator but I do not recall that happening on my first playthrough.
Bob: ”Me, me, me, me… It gets so annoying!”
Jonel: ”I do nothing but think about myself, so I think that might make others not like me… But if other people would think about me even more, it would all balance out. Why won’t other people think about me more? Lucas!” I like you, you come to talk to me every once in a while. I could make you my successor, if you’d like. But it’s lonely living my kind of life…”
Dona: ”I bet there’s much more happiness there than in this entire village!”
No-one seemed to notice (and care about) Fassad’s horrible demise.
Nana: ”I never shut up.”
Lady: ”… Of course I didn’t! Give it back!”
If you give her the Sweater…
BITCH. Fortunately I saved earlier. I’ll sell the thing instead.
Bronson: ”A little nap in the sun’ll really revitalize you. Will you take a break?”
He’ll will be here all the time, you’ll see what happens as time passes.
Pig: ”(The words ‘Oscar’ and ‘Mayer’ appeared to me in a dream. But I don’t know what they mean. Oscar. Mayer.)”
Policeman: ”Had I given mountain patrol instead, I’d only meet bears and stuff. That’s’ scary.”
At least this man realized his follies, unlike the many, many others.
Woman: ”Eat! Eat! Throw away! Throw away! You’ll never have a tidy inventory otherwise.”
More 4th wall breaking jokes and/or criticisms to rpgs.
Unsurprisingly, Isaac, as good ass-licker and sociopath he is, he was the first to leave. We could go to the Magypsies’ house walking through the forest, but I won’t.
Lighter: ”Oh, but you look like Hinawa too. But you look like your twin brother Claus, of course. I wonder where he is and what he’s up to…”
Okay, time to go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTXwNYo8ZvA
More wacky presents, unfortunately I did not remember to record it. Still, for the next scene it would be better if you see it as a video.
The memento is basically an extra life, whoever has it, if (s)he’s killed in battle the item will disappear in exchange of fully restoring the character, a nice item to have. Now, a mini-dungeon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yt5nACJemg
New chapter, new enemies. These ones are pathetically easy to slay, can only use healing powers. No idea if they’re chimeras/ghosts/whatever the hell are supposed to be.
Ionia’s impressive abilities as a supposed god-like being is that useless action, batting its false eyelashes, and giving moral support to Lucas, healing 5 hp. Competent beings are these.
We arrived to the previously inaccessible courtyard of the Castle.
”That’s what is said, anyway, but I don’t sense anything here at all. I don’t sense a heart of good OR evil… How mysterious. Could there be people in this world without hearts? I always assumed that the Dark Dragon would stay sealed away for eternity… No, we still have a chance left. You were able to learn PK BROFORCE. Could it be that you’re also able to. Oh, that’s right. I haven’t explained anything to you at all. I need to tell you about the Needles.”
Explanation here, in another video, sorry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUyXa8mlYBg
If I understood correctly, if the one that pulled all of the Needles and woke the Dark Dragon was evil everything could be destroyed, or at least the power would be used for evil, that’s what the pigmask are trying. So, the plan to stopping the Pigmen is, instead of killing everyone, allow Lucas to pull the Needles first and hope all of the evil would be cleaned, despite it’s very possible that the world could be destroyed anyways as it “reborn” with this procedure. Somehow that’s retarded, inane, sad and creepy all at once (like the series basically).
The mobile rang, but I did not want to reply yet. Lemme explore a bit more…
Sigh, fine.
Retard: ”But but but the monkey! We need the monkey! The monkey can open it! Gah, what a pain in the neck! Anyway, the monkey’s the key! I’ll explain the details later! P-p-plase come to the Chimera Lab! I assume you know where the Chimera Lab is, right? Huh? Commander! Your voice sounds kind of cheery today! Well, anyways… Actually, to be honest, I’m having a hard time remembering it myself. You take the Cross Road train to the factory, and when you arrive, you go west from the ropeway station behind the factory. Right?”
If we pretend Lucas is stupid and said no…
Pigmask: ”A Pork Tank just passsed by, so I didn’t catch what you said! Could you please repeat that?!”
Pigmask: ”There’s a monkey! And trouble! And a Needle! Please hurry and panic too Commander! *beep*”
Ionia: ”I’m worried about my own Needle now. I just know we’ll meet again. But if we don’t, then that means one of us left this world…*giggle* Byebee!”
The Magypsy flies away like that. It’s disturbing that it doesn’t care that he’ll die no matter Lucas or the enemy pulls the Needles. What would happen if a Magypsy wanted to live and rebel against this idea? What about this supposed person without heart that Ionia said that was the Commander (btw, when the game babbles about Heart assume it means the soul, the lesser that abomination that’s Kingdom Hearts is mentioned, the better)?
This place has been already visited several times and everything that was lootable is has been looted, but a new enemy has appeared:
They’re moderately powerful and because they’re 2 they may decide perform double-attacks as a mini-combo, a bit challenging and that’s all, Lucas' Bro-power is bigger than theirs
Ghostdog notices something, and drags Lurcas to where Hinawa is resting…
Nippolyte: ”He was just here visiting Hinawa’s grave. He’s probably headed back into the mountains yet again to look for Claus. Look for Claus, visit Hinawa’s grave. That’s all your old man does anymore. His only salvation is you Lucas. You’ve grown so strong that Clint doesn’t need to worry anymore. You’ve grown to be a truly good lad. Here. Clint gave me this. He asked me to give it to you the next time you came by. Supposedly, it’s a good luck charm your pop’s treasured since he was a boy himself.
Actually, that speech effectively confirms that Lucas and Clint barely talked in all of these long years, considering the hostility of the villagers that’s mean. What’s more, poor Clint is so obsessed with what he has lost that he neglects Lucas, to the point of surely not giving this precious badge personally ‘cause he was still looking for Claus. Poor little thing. Lastly, that badge looks familiar…
Pigmask: ”No, no! I’m just spouting nonsense! Everyone is waiting at the Chimera Lab! I still haven’t arrived yet, though! The-th-e-the reason being that I forgot how to get there! I mean, I understand the directions, but… To get to the Chimera Lab you take the Cross Road train to the factory, and then head west from the ropeway station! The problem is that I don’t know where I am right now! Hello? Are you alright Commander? I… Oh, oh, ho! I see the Chimera Lab now! You were right! You take the Cross Road train to the factory, and then head west from the ropeway station! *click* *beep*”
Okay, right now you have a new objective, that’s pulling out all of the Needles. Despite what it looks you may do these in any order but the last one, although the game encourages you to do so. Depending of the order you take, some characters will change the dialogue and little more, and you will be assraped ‘cause level scaling is for pussies and the game will not stop you if you try to fight enemies with a lever lower that you’re supposed to have (but the rolling HP system mitigates it a bit). Wait, could it be…? That means:
CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES (sort of)!!!
Unfortunately, I do not know yet what the exact changes are, so I’ll do a test but for this lp I’ll follow the “correct” order, it doesn’t matter much the game will be as crazy as always regardless of what you do. See you on the next update!
Lastly, as a somewhat unrelated note, an actual anime tranny/homogay:
In which our bro-party is still not reunited, an actual plot happens, (gay) shit happens and possibly “subtle” comments of racism. Arf!
Let’s start with a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koUhmEkBE9k
Nothing new here, perhaps we should be going…
Suddenly, Ghostdog sniffs something and runs off. We’ll follow him… taking our time.
Lol, this will make quite a scene. You’ll notice here that the new “citizens”, the foreigners of the Pork-army are nothing more than an useless xenophobic paranoid bunch of barbarians (not that the original villagers were better, however). Oh, and it seems they previously never met a tranny.
Guy: ”I think he should go back there, where he belongs.”
Guy: ”But I dunno what to do, so I’m just standing here doing nothing.”
Woman: ”What should I do? Should I stand her up?”
Man: “Come on, lemme tell you. Too bad, I’m gonna tell you anyways, yes I am. I picked up this doorknob the other day, but I was irritated at the time, so I threw it to the east as far as I could. I wound up dislocating my shoulder as a result. Actually no, I was just fibbing about that last part. Hahaha.”
Girl: “But what if she goes crazy and hurts people if we do?”
She has a point, but…
Guy: ”I have nooooo idea what you were talking about just now, but if it’s up the river you want to go, then it’s our time to shine! C’mon! Follow us!”
The two unnamed guys leave. Now as a good codexer Lucas will troll the villagers by harassing them with a tranny, and wait for their reactions.
Guy: ”Whoa. Oh, sorry, I mean that in a good way.”
Woman: ”you stood her up for me. I guess the ability to take action is an important thing to have, huh?”
Girl: ”And her beauty makes her all the scarier!”
Beauty??
Don’t ask. The screenshots do not show it but Ionia follows Lucas by making short jumps, Lucas did wanted to untie Ionia for some reason (probably to annoy it, he’s not stupid as he look).
Matt: ”That’d freak anyone out.”
Pigmask:”Jack had a cold, but he got over it completely!... A lot of time HAS passed, after all.”
Deep. I do not recall Mass Erect, DA, Mass Erect 2, Oblivion or even any recent rpg having complex riddle like this one.
Pusher:”Get out of here! Leave! Leave this village!”
Apparently the fat greedy major’s greatest fear is… A tranny?
Sebastian: ”My name is Sebastian, and working busily is all I do.”
The 4th wall is for the lesser men.
Repressed/ unconscious homogay detected.
Mapson: ”Oh, hi there, Lucas. That’s a strange friend you have with you. No, no, no. I don’t mean there’s anything wrong with that. What? Aeolia’s house you say? I don’t know who that is, but I think it’s around here somewhere, I’ll mark your map for you.”
Jill: ”So I expected my little Biffy and Butchy to come back home, but they wound up going to some New Pork Something-or-Other instead.”
Oh yeah, starting at this chapter the townsfolk will slowly begin to leave this village. I’m not sure if I overanalyzed it but despite the minimalistic graphics and all the game manages to make this situation sad: the townsfolk have been corrupted so much by the porkarmy’s jew-lies that they started rushing to an unknown city, throwing away everything they had for a stupid whim, Hinawa would not be amused by it (to be fair, half of the villagers were not precisely beings with basic human empathy and common sense, eh Isaac?). The good news is that this leaves me with less text to transcribe. Yay!
Cultist: “Can you hear the voices too?”
Lisa: ”You know, you should really be mindful of who you make friends with…”
The Triumvirate continues to bitch about everything as alway. Womyn, womyn never change.
Paul: ”I think people should be free to do whatever they want.”
Abbey: ”But if he’s from the forest or the middle of nowhere that’s just creepy.”
Your logic is as flawed as your mind.
I dunno, try walking away of your happy box and explore the world and talking with people, stupid redneck..
Jackie: ”Conversely, people wanting to leave this village for the city are on the rise. In which case, it would be best to move out our hotel to the city. Right? Well, that’s what I think at least.”
Punk guy: ”I dunno what to do so I’m gonna stay in here again today. I’m afraid. Every day I’m so afraid. I can’t leave my room, I’m so scared they’ll demand that I pay up.”
Sooner or later you will have to go to the bathroom, so…
Nichol: ”I don’t want to be stuck in this blah village forever.”
Yeah, because a city filled with strangers and dominated by a no-nazi army when your father is one of the few that’s not an incompetent heartless asshole here is a good idea, no?
I take it back what I said.
Old Guy: ”But… it’s starting to get hard for me to stay too.”
You cannot stop the Many.
The items he sells are averageish, useful only if for some reason we went to fire-themed dungeon (spoiler: we will).
About that, sometimes supposedly on the game you’ll hear a strange tone reminiscent of Leder’s bell, it’s something identical of when in Earthbound Ness’ father called to tell the player to rest a little, I don’t if it’s because this game runs on an emulator but I do not recall that happening on my first playthrough.
Bob: ”Me, me, me, me… It gets so annoying!”
Jonel: ”I do nothing but think about myself, so I think that might make others not like me… But if other people would think about me even more, it would all balance out. Why won’t other people think about me more? Lucas!” I like you, you come to talk to me every once in a while. I could make you my successor, if you’d like. But it’s lonely living my kind of life…”
Dona: ”I bet there’s much more happiness there than in this entire village!”
No-one seemed to notice (and care about) Fassad’s horrible demise.
Nana: ”I never shut up.”
Lady: ”… Of course I didn’t! Give it back!”
If you give her the Sweater…
BITCH. Fortunately I saved earlier. I’ll sell the thing instead.
Bronson: ”A little nap in the sun’ll really revitalize you. Will you take a break?”
He’ll will be here all the time, you’ll see what happens as time passes.
Pig: ”(The words ‘Oscar’ and ‘Mayer’ appeared to me in a dream. But I don’t know what they mean. Oscar. Mayer.)”
Policeman: ”Had I given mountain patrol instead, I’d only meet bears and stuff. That’s’ scary.”
At least this man realized his follies, unlike the many, many others.
More 4th wall breaking jokes and/or criticisms to rpgs.
Unsurprisingly, Isaac, as good ass-licker and sociopath he is, he was the first to leave. We could go to the Magypsies’ house walking through the forest, but I won’t.
Lighter: ”Oh, but you look like Hinawa too. But you look like your twin brother Claus, of course. I wonder where he is and what he’s up to…”
Okay, time to go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTXwNYo8ZvA
More wacky presents, unfortunately I did not remember to record it. Still, for the next scene it would be better if you see it as a video.
The memento is basically an extra life, whoever has it, if (s)he’s killed in battle the item will disappear in exchange of fully restoring the character, a nice item to have. Now, a mini-dungeon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yt5nACJemg
New chapter, new enemies. These ones are pathetically easy to slay, can only use healing powers. No idea if they’re chimeras/ghosts/whatever the hell are supposed to be.
Ionia’s impressive abilities as a supposed god-like being is that useless action, batting its false eyelashes, and giving moral support to Lucas, healing 5 hp. Competent beings are these.
We arrived to the previously inaccessible courtyard of the Castle.
Explanation here, in another video, sorry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUyXa8mlYBg
If I understood correctly, if the one that pulled all of the Needles and woke the Dark Dragon was evil everything could be destroyed, or at least the power would be used for evil, that’s what the pigmask are trying. So, the plan to stopping the Pigmen is, instead of killing everyone, allow Lucas to pull the Needles first and hope all of the evil would be cleaned, despite it’s very possible that the world could be destroyed anyways as it “reborn” with this procedure. Somehow that’s retarded, inane, sad and creepy all at once (like the series basically).
The mobile rang, but I did not want to reply yet. Lemme explore a bit more…
Sigh, fine.
Retard: ”But but but the monkey! We need the monkey! The monkey can open it! Gah, what a pain in the neck! Anyway, the monkey’s the key! I’ll explain the details later! P-p-plase come to the Chimera Lab! I assume you know where the Chimera Lab is, right? Huh? Commander! Your voice sounds kind of cheery today! Well, anyways… Actually, to be honest, I’m having a hard time remembering it myself. You take the Cross Road train to the factory, and when you arrive, you go west from the ropeway station behind the factory. Right?”
If we pretend Lucas is stupid and said no…
Pigmask: ”A Pork Tank just passsed by, so I didn’t catch what you said! Could you please repeat that?!”
Pigmask: ”There’s a monkey! And trouble! And a Needle! Please hurry and panic too Commander! *beep*”
Ionia: ”I’m worried about my own Needle now. I just know we’ll meet again. But if we don’t, then that means one of us left this world…*giggle* Byebee!”
The Magypsy flies away like that. It’s disturbing that it doesn’t care that he’ll die no matter Lucas or the enemy pulls the Needles. What would happen if a Magypsy wanted to live and rebel against this idea? What about this supposed person without heart that Ionia said that was the Commander (btw, when the game babbles about Heart assume it means the soul, the lesser that abomination that’s Kingdom Hearts is mentioned, the better)?
This place has been already visited several times and everything that was lootable is has been looted, but a new enemy has appeared:
They’re moderately powerful and because they’re 2 they may decide perform double-attacks as a mini-combo, a bit challenging and that’s all, Lucas' Bro-power is bigger than theirs
Ghostdog notices something, and drags Lurcas to where Hinawa is resting…
Nippolyte: ”He was just here visiting Hinawa’s grave. He’s probably headed back into the mountains yet again to look for Claus. Look for Claus, visit Hinawa’s grave. That’s all your old man does anymore. His only salvation is you Lucas. You’ve grown so strong that Clint doesn’t need to worry anymore. You’ve grown to be a truly good lad. Here. Clint gave me this. He asked me to give it to you the next time you came by. Supposedly, it’s a good luck charm your pop’s treasured since he was a boy himself.
Actually, that speech effectively confirms that Lucas and Clint barely talked in all of these long years, considering the hostility of the villagers that’s mean. What’s more, poor Clint is so obsessed with what he has lost that he neglects Lucas, to the point of surely not giving this precious badge personally ‘cause he was still looking for Claus. Poor little thing. Lastly, that badge looks familiar…
Pigmask: ”No, no! I’m just spouting nonsense! Everyone is waiting at the Chimera Lab! I still haven’t arrived yet, though! The-th-e-the reason being that I forgot how to get there! I mean, I understand the directions, but… To get to the Chimera Lab you take the Cross Road train to the factory, and then head west from the ropeway station! The problem is that I don’t know where I am right now! Hello? Are you alright Commander? I… Oh, oh, ho! I see the Chimera Lab now! You were right! You take the Cross Road train to the factory, and then head west from the ropeway station! *click* *beep*”
Okay, right now you have a new objective, that’s pulling out all of the Needles. Despite what it looks you may do these in any order but the last one, although the game encourages you to do so. Depending of the order you take, some characters will change the dialogue and little more, and you will be assraped ‘cause level scaling is for pussies and the game will not stop you if you try to fight enemies with a lever lower that you’re supposed to have (but the rolling HP system mitigates it a bit). Wait, could it be…? That means:
CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES (sort of)!!!
Unfortunately, I do not know yet what the exact changes are, so I’ll do a test but for this lp I’ll follow the “correct” order, it doesn’t matter much the game will be as crazy as always regardless of what you do. See you on the next update!
Lastly, as a somewhat unrelated note, an actual anime tranny/homogay:
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update 13: Meeting old friends
I’m back! Now that there’s this stuff of the Needles, you have a bit of freedom of what to do. But first and foremost, we’ll go back to the village to rest at Lucas’ house so that he’s fully energized and then randomly speak with the citizens, perhaps they have something new to say.
The redneck and his wife/sister will be abandoning the village and joining the Decline soon. I don’t know if I should consider it good or bad.
Alle: ”I wanna go there.”
Pusher: ”Why does this have to happen to us? Actually, when I think about it, I somehow get the feeling this is all your fault. Please stay away from us, if you’d be so kind!”
Elmore: ”My family hates you. Why do you keep coming here? Yet, even after I’ve said this, I just know you’ll keep coming back.”
Durr, that's because we enjoy trolling you, old hag.
I suppose, he may be busy struggling to kept himself alive and recover all of his still not found parts after the bigass explosion.
Lisa: ”But I have a Happy Box at home, though, so I guess it doesn’t really matter to me anyway.”
Lady: ”*chew* But wow, is this place the sticks or what? *chew x4* Maybe I should’ve gone to New Pork instead.”
Richie: ”The attack seemed so intense at first, but now it’s almost casual and like, “Whatever.” Kind of like you. Heh.”
Ouch, that’s a low blow; you’re really unlucky with the girls, Lucas.
Everything else has not changed, so we’ll go to the Chimera Lab… NOT. Screw linearity, we’ll go to where Thunder Tower was because I can, the game cannot stop me.
Attendant: ”They’re so cheap, they’re practically free! A mere 50 DP! Will you ride one? (Yes we do) In that case, how about taking the green train? The green one costs a little bit more, though (green is the betz *orky mode off*). Huh?! Really?! Th-then it’ll be 200 DP for two tickets… Please get on before you change your mind.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcYBka6P ... re=related
If you take the non-green train the song is different:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvvLXIhj ... re=related
Both cases are a throwback to Mother 1, there was a train sequence, this one exactly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxC9YBIpeAc
Now that we’re on the other side let’s go first to the factory, perhaps there are some novelties.
Pigmask: ”They say they don’t need Claymen anymore. Or the clay, or the factory…That makes me sad. Hahaha. I’m being sent to New Pork City when this place shuts down, too. Thanks for everything.”
Oh, what a shame, child labor was fun and productive.
If you take your time to inspect the factory, you’ll see that most of the claymen are deactivated except these two, who roam aimlessly waiting for orders that will never arrive, until their batteries dry out.
Mole: ”Come back some other time, unless you wanna get knocked flat on your butts.”
Sadly kicking its butt as a punishment for its impudence is not an option.
Old Guy: ”and just when I finally make it to the top, I find out they shut Club Titiboo down. Since there’s nothing else I can do, I decided to take my time to savour using these binoculars. I’ve been looking through them for 3 days straight now. I just can’t get enough of it…”
The Thunder Tower looks like it was ruined, I wonder why
Of course, the savage chimeras continue to be everywhere, this one is particularly deadly when you only have 2 members in your party, it takes out like 72 hp per attack. If you turn right when you’re in front of the ropeway, right where you found the path that reaches the highroads you will notice something new:
Hey, it’s our old friend the bro-cricket!
”This is where you and me are gonna fight it out. This is where my right hand’ll be raised into the air when I’m declared the winner. And this is also where you’re gonna hit the ground with a thud. This is the place! Mole Cricket Hole! I’ll widen the hole a bit for you to fit through. Come on!”
Surprisingly for a jrpg, you are not forced to follow him right now. We’ll be back, bro-cricket.
Pigmask: ”Give some consideration to our needs too, won’t ya?!”
FUUCK!! The entire trip for nothing!! We’ll have to backtrack to the village and go to the cemetery, there was a hidden shortcut if I recall correctly.
Hmm, this odd font looks familiar. Could it be…?
”COME TO THUNDER AREA. THANKS THANKS.”
That weird, inane coffee table neighs as a “real” horse, complete with galloping noises. It’s like a Pork-Bean but it does not require fuel; I wish there were more games with really imaginative content like being able ride a coffee table and run over stuff than this grimdark shit trend of nowadays.
There’s nothing else that you haven’t seen already at the highroads, so I’ll skip directly to the new stuff.
Retard: ”I even stood in line all that time without going to the bathroom… That’s what I mutter to myself as I now stare blankly at this door.”
No comments.
Pigmask: ”And sneaking is all the more unallowed. As are peeking, leaking and reeking!”
If your memory serves you well you may recall there was a barred path at the right side of this Tower, well, now you can enter it and find a new zone.
Logically, it’s filled with hyper-aggressive vermin.
Welcome back to the new Saturn Valley 2.0!
Music link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be6kwmDvr0I
Pigmask: ”I’m not even really sure what the deal with this place is.”
Unfortunately, the evil space pig Nazis managed to take over the village. What will happen now?
Pigmask: ”This place is still nonsensical, but that doesn’t change the fact we’re great and almighty. Boing! Oops, I think this village has started to get to me…”
There are new gifts to loot, however…
Yes, there was a fart inside the present (in fact, half of the presents here contain this). Fuckers, Mrs. Saturns’ jokes really stink, maybe that's what Molytard was talking about.
Pigmask: ”Get lost kid! Scram!”
These pigmen must have a greater INT score than the common mooks, they do not confuse Lucas with the Commander.
Interesting…
Some of the new gear you can loot includes a new “weapon” for Ghostdog.
The obligatory hot spring, identical to the one in Earthbound (the Tendas do not appear on this game though, why the Mrs Saturns are here on the Nowhere Islands is a question that will not be replied).
We can’t do nothing else now but enter each one of the houses. In each one something like this happens:
Frightbot: ”OH, THAT WAS ME TALKING TO MYSELF. DID THAT SCARE YOU ALREADY? OKAY! LET’S BEGIN!”
A robot to scare the shit out of the xenos? Wouldn’t an excrutiator be more effective? Still, the pigmen’s bizarre heretech continues to surprise us.
The Frightbots are harmless, they will randomly waste turns telling scary stories (and sometimes funny stories by accident) but it doesn’t do anything in gameplay terms, so we bash them until they’re totally scrapped. Some examples of their “nightmarish” stories:
We rescue the xenos and then:
Mr. Saturn: ”SAY NO TO ME, GIVE RAW EGG AT YOU.”
I did not find any use for this thing except as extra junk to sell.
Oh, I forgot to comment, you can find new food items in this weird place.
The next house:
Pigmask: ”Don’t’ force us to use this Frightbot to make you cry! Enough of your stupid nonsense! Tell us where the Needle is, or we’ll make it tell you even scarier stories!”
Frightbot: ”THIS IS GOING TO BE SCARY! SO LISTEN GOOD…!”
Frightbot: ”WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! WE’LL BEAT YOU GOOD!”
The Pigmask Captains are the real danger here, they’re very powerful, they do like 70-80 hp per attack and thus can quickly kill our party, this is what happens when you’re fighting enemies you were supposed to fight when you’re 10 levels stronger or more, choices and consequences gentlemen. After the merciless beating of these three:
Mr Saturn: ”NO, WAIT. AM HAPPY.”
I insist that Earthbound series' aliens are more credible than anything of Mass Erect.
The third house:
A piece of cake, we scrap it effortlessly (by the way, even the Frightbots have their own, somewhat disturbing theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S3x4nnd ... re=related).
Mr. Saturn: ”AM RELIEFED.”
Cool stuff. The last house:
Pigmask Major: ”You’d better tell us, or we’ll start tickling your underarms again (there are some good questions how to do it when Mrs Saturn lack arms, or even anything that could resemble a prehensile limb)!”
The Pigmask Majors are the strongest enemy here; they can cause several ailment statuses on your party, deal like 100 hp or more of damage for each attack, and can throw a time-bomb that inflicts fucktons of damage two turns after it’s thrown. I had for once a hard time to win a battle and even then Lucas barely managed to survive with 10 hp (Ghostdog was ko’ed on the second turn). After we successfully defeat them…
Sore losers… Wait a minute, is Fassad somehow still alive? Nah, it can’t be.
Lucas unties Garret, he starts talking:
”Thank goodness you’re all right! The kind people of this valley rescued me, but those other guys captured us all. But don’t worry. The Egg of Light is safe.”
A moment later…
”Needles that seal away the Dark Dragon… Hmm. Sounds like I should go with you. Lucas I’m going too.”
Garret is back, this time for the rest of the game!
That’s… The worst map I’ve ever seen anywhere. Do not try to make any sense of it, it was not made for the (sane) human minds.
Garret: ”Do you really not know where it is?”
”…North! They’re saying to go toward the volcano to the north.”
Rope Snake: ”But have you forgotten me? It’s me, the Rope Snake. I apologize for the trouble I caused before. No, I’m not depressed. I’m not. Really. I’m not depressed. Until the day comes when I can be useful again… I’ll… I’ll… I’ll devote myself to being patient!”
Butthurt detected.
The pigmen learned the lesson and ran away, obviously now the Mrs. Saturns have new things to say.
Mr. Saturn: ”DO NOT KNOW NOW THEN.”
”YOU CAN SELL TOO. I MR SATURN, BOING, CAN DO ALL FOR YOU. YOU WANT BUY, ZOOM?”
This shop has some neat stuff but the xenos’ prices are very high:
However, thanks to Lucas’ endless killing spree of tons of chimeras and pigmen the “frog banks” have enough money to buy some of the items. We’ll buy a Flame Pendant for Garret, a Honey Shower and one Attack Attractor for Ghostdog, two Leo Bracelets and one Funny Stick, the rest can be bought later.
This other vendor sells food items:
We buy one of each type and share it between the party members (the Lucky Rice and the Lotto Meals sound good, but I prefer to not risk my chances on battle).
”DAKOTA.”
Now we could go to the Fire Mountain and pull the Needle; however I tried like 20 times and either the enemies here raped my party to death, or the dungeon’s boss killed me with a glance. Sorry, I really wanted to show you the Needle and everything else but it was impossible, I need more firepower so we’ll come back in another time when the party is stronger (the alternative was grinding like there was no tomorrow and that’s a no), for now we’ll leave these xeno-suckers alone and return to Tazmily.
And this is the end of the update, next one will feature the mysterious Chimera lab and of course more inanity. Stay sharp!
I’m back! Now that there’s this stuff of the Needles, you have a bit of freedom of what to do. But first and foremost, we’ll go back to the village to rest at Lucas’ house so that he’s fully energized and then randomly speak with the citizens, perhaps they have something new to say.
The redneck and his wife/sister will be abandoning the village and joining the Decline soon. I don’t know if I should consider it good or bad.
Alle: ”I wanna go there.”
Pusher: ”Why does this have to happen to us? Actually, when I think about it, I somehow get the feeling this is all your fault. Please stay away from us, if you’d be so kind!”
Elmore: ”My family hates you. Why do you keep coming here? Yet, even after I’ve said this, I just know you’ll keep coming back.”
Durr, that's because we enjoy trolling you, old hag.
I suppose, he may be busy struggling to kept himself alive and recover all of his still not found parts after the bigass explosion.
Lisa: ”But I have a Happy Box at home, though, so I guess it doesn’t really matter to me anyway.”
Lady: ”*chew* But wow, is this place the sticks or what? *chew x4* Maybe I should’ve gone to New Pork instead.”
Richie: ”The attack seemed so intense at first, but now it’s almost casual and like, “Whatever.” Kind of like you. Heh.”
Ouch, that’s a low blow; you’re really unlucky with the girls, Lucas.
Everything else has not changed, so we’ll go to the Chimera Lab… NOT. Screw linearity, we’ll go to where Thunder Tower was because I can, the game cannot stop me.
Attendant: ”They’re so cheap, they’re practically free! A mere 50 DP! Will you ride one? (Yes we do) In that case, how about taking the green train? The green one costs a little bit more, though (green is the betz *orky mode off*). Huh?! Really?! Th-then it’ll be 200 DP for two tickets… Please get on before you change your mind.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcYBka6P ... re=related
If you take the non-green train the song is different:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvvLXIhj ... re=related
Both cases are a throwback to Mother 1, there was a train sequence, this one exactly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxC9YBIpeAc
Now that we’re on the other side let’s go first to the factory, perhaps there are some novelties.
Pigmask: ”They say they don’t need Claymen anymore. Or the clay, or the factory…That makes me sad. Hahaha. I’m being sent to New Pork City when this place shuts down, too. Thanks for everything.”
Oh, what a shame, child labor was fun and productive.
If you take your time to inspect the factory, you’ll see that most of the claymen are deactivated except these two, who roam aimlessly waiting for orders that will never arrive, until their batteries dry out.
Mole: ”Come back some other time, unless you wanna get knocked flat on your butts.”
Sadly kicking its butt as a punishment for its impudence is not an option.
Old Guy: ”and just when I finally make it to the top, I find out they shut Club Titiboo down. Since there’s nothing else I can do, I decided to take my time to savour using these binoculars. I’ve been looking through them for 3 days straight now. I just can’t get enough of it…”
The Thunder Tower looks like it was ruined, I wonder why
Of course, the savage chimeras continue to be everywhere, this one is particularly deadly when you only have 2 members in your party, it takes out like 72 hp per attack. If you turn right when you’re in front of the ropeway, right where you found the path that reaches the highroads you will notice something new:
Hey, it’s our old friend the bro-cricket!
Surprisingly for a jrpg, you are not forced to follow him right now. We’ll be back, bro-cricket.
Pigmask: ”Give some consideration to our needs too, won’t ya?!”
FUUCK!! The entire trip for nothing!! We’ll have to backtrack to the village and go to the cemetery, there was a hidden shortcut if I recall correctly.
Hmm, this odd font looks familiar. Could it be…?
That weird, inane coffee table neighs as a “real” horse, complete with galloping noises. It’s like a Pork-Bean but it does not require fuel; I wish there were more games with really imaginative content like being able ride a coffee table and run over stuff than this grimdark shit trend of nowadays.
There’s nothing else that you haven’t seen already at the highroads, so I’ll skip directly to the new stuff.
Retard: ”I even stood in line all that time without going to the bathroom… That’s what I mutter to myself as I now stare blankly at this door.”
No comments.
Pigmask: ”And sneaking is all the more unallowed. As are peeking, leaking and reeking!”
If your memory serves you well you may recall there was a barred path at the right side of this Tower, well, now you can enter it and find a new zone.
Logically, it’s filled with hyper-aggressive vermin.
Welcome back to the new Saturn Valley 2.0!
Music link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be6kwmDvr0I
Pigmask: ”I’m not even really sure what the deal with this place is.”
Unfortunately, the evil space pig Nazis managed to take over the village. What will happen now?
Pigmask: ”This place is still nonsensical, but that doesn’t change the fact we’re great and almighty. Boing! Oops, I think this village has started to get to me…”
There are new gifts to loot, however…
Yes, there was a fart inside the present (in fact, half of the presents here contain this). Fuckers, Mrs. Saturns’ jokes really stink, maybe that's what Molytard was talking about.
Pigmask: ”Get lost kid! Scram!”
These pigmen must have a greater INT score than the common mooks, they do not confuse Lucas with the Commander.
Interesting…
Some of the new gear you can loot includes a new “weapon” for Ghostdog.
The obligatory hot spring, identical to the one in Earthbound (the Tendas do not appear on this game though, why the Mrs Saturns are here on the Nowhere Islands is a question that will not be replied).
We can’t do nothing else now but enter each one of the houses. In each one something like this happens:
Frightbot: ”OH, THAT WAS ME TALKING TO MYSELF. DID THAT SCARE YOU ALREADY? OKAY! LET’S BEGIN!”
A robot to scare the shit out of the xenos? Wouldn’t an excrutiator be more effective? Still, the pigmen’s bizarre heretech continues to surprise us.
The Frightbots are harmless, they will randomly waste turns telling scary stories (and sometimes funny stories by accident) but it doesn’t do anything in gameplay terms, so we bash them until they’re totally scrapped. Some examples of their “nightmarish” stories:
We rescue the xenos and then:
Mr. Saturn: ”SAY NO TO ME, GIVE RAW EGG AT YOU.”
I did not find any use for this thing except as extra junk to sell.
Oh, I forgot to comment, you can find new food items in this weird place.
The next house:
Pigmask: ”Don’t’ force us to use this Frightbot to make you cry! Enough of your stupid nonsense! Tell us where the Needle is, or we’ll make it tell you even scarier stories!”
Frightbot: ”THIS IS GOING TO BE SCARY! SO LISTEN GOOD…!”
Frightbot: ”WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! WE’LL BEAT YOU GOOD!”
The Pigmask Captains are the real danger here, they’re very powerful, they do like 70-80 hp per attack and thus can quickly kill our party, this is what happens when you’re fighting enemies you were supposed to fight when you’re 10 levels stronger or more, choices and consequences gentlemen. After the merciless beating of these three:
Mr Saturn: ”NO, WAIT. AM HAPPY.”
I insist that Earthbound series' aliens are more credible than anything of Mass Erect.
The third house:
A piece of cake, we scrap it effortlessly (by the way, even the Frightbots have their own, somewhat disturbing theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S3x4nnd ... re=related).
Mr. Saturn: ”AM RELIEFED.”
Cool stuff. The last house:
Pigmask Major: ”You’d better tell us, or we’ll start tickling your underarms again (there are some good questions how to do it when Mrs Saturn lack arms, or even anything that could resemble a prehensile limb)!”
The Pigmask Majors are the strongest enemy here; they can cause several ailment statuses on your party, deal like 100 hp or more of damage for each attack, and can throw a time-bomb that inflicts fucktons of damage two turns after it’s thrown. I had for once a hard time to win a battle and even then Lucas barely managed to survive with 10 hp (Ghostdog was ko’ed on the second turn). After we successfully defeat them…
Sore losers… Wait a minute, is Fassad somehow still alive? Nah, it can’t be.
Lucas unties Garret, he starts talking:
A moment later…
Garret is back, this time for the rest of the game!
That’s… The worst map I’ve ever seen anywhere. Do not try to make any sense of it, it was not made for the (sane) human minds.
Garret: ”Do you really not know where it is?”
Rope Snake: ”But have you forgotten me? It’s me, the Rope Snake. I apologize for the trouble I caused before. No, I’m not depressed. I’m not. Really. I’m not depressed. Until the day comes when I can be useful again… I’ll… I’ll… I’ll devote myself to being patient!”
Butthurt detected.
The pigmen learned the lesson and ran away, obviously now the Mrs. Saturns have new things to say.
Mr. Saturn: ”DO NOT KNOW NOW THEN.”
This shop has some neat stuff but the xenos’ prices are very high:
However, thanks to Lucas’ endless killing spree of tons of chimeras and pigmen the “frog banks” have enough money to buy some of the items. We’ll buy a Flame Pendant for Garret, a Honey Shower and one Attack Attractor for Ghostdog, two Leo Bracelets and one Funny Stick, the rest can be bought later.
This other vendor sells food items:
We buy one of each type and share it between the party members (the Lucky Rice and the Lotto Meals sound good, but I prefer to not risk my chances on battle).
Now we could go to the Fire Mountain and pull the Needle; however I tried like 20 times and either the enemies here raped my party to death, or the dungeon’s boss killed me with a glance. Sorry, I really wanted to show you the Needle and everything else but it was impossible, I need more firepower so we’ll come back in another time when the party is stronger (the alternative was grinding like there was no tomorrow and that’s a no), for now we’ll leave these xeno-suckers alone and return to Tazmily.
And this is the end of the update, next one will feature the mysterious Chimera lab and of course more inanity. Stay sharp!
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Worry not obsessive stalkers gentlemen, you don't need to get out of here fear, this week I'll continue the lp and post and update per week more or less, so you don't need anymore to search for Ionia X Lucas' rape/Fassad X Salsa buttsex hentai to fight boredom worry, ITZ madness cannot be stopped, this IDMIG (Incredibly Disturbing Mindfucking Inane Game) will be finished.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update 14: The Chimera Lab: Where the game pretends it’s a survival horror
Welcome back! End-of-term exams are over, and thus this lp will continue… NOW. I really missed the inanity and lulz of this game (and I’m sure you too). Let’s get back to work:
On the last update, we recovered one missing party member and learned more of the possible location of a mystical Needle that the evil Pork-Army wants to pull to trigger the End of the World/ITZ, we must prevent this by pulling the Needles first just like the bad guys want... ??? Doesn't matter, the Needle we’re going today is at the Chimera Lab, near the Ropeway.
We still can’t open this door, but if you examine it, the transceiver rings and this conversation triggers:
Pigmask: “The Needle appears to be behind a strange type of door in the Murasaki Forest! One of the monkeys in the Chimera Lab is the key to pulling the Needle… But it’s broken out of its cage and is running loose inside the building! Ukkii! … Sorry, it’s could out. Anyways, please send reinforcements… Ahh!! Hey, you! That’s the key to---! *krssssssh *boop* *boob* *click* *beep-beep-beep*”
It hears like trouble. Better we rush to it.
Now, how will we enter here, will old fashioned violence work?
Pigmask: “Keep watch for me, will ya? I’m gonna go inside and help look for some escaped monkeys.”
Oh, whatever, good for us. Observe the kid-friendly “sign” above the entrance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbTY__kFbIY
Pigmask (we decide to troll the pigman and say no): “Oh. Well, it’s great that you’re so interested in our company’s research, especially at such a young age. But please don’t go behind the min-theater’s speakers to get inside the lab. When someone tells you not to do something, you’re not supposed to do it. Understand?”
Yeah, sure .
This guy sells some stuff that can be used to gain extra xp, I’ll show it on another update (however the Offense and Defense Sprays are too expensive, Offense/Defense Up Omega, learned by Lucas does the same for all party members, and we can loot some of these things for free anyways).
Pigmask: “And don’t you dare try to find some other way inside!”
Basic psychology: When a kid hears “NO/ Don’t do x”, he’ll always understand the opposite.
Secrebot: ”THE CHIMERA THEATER IS CURRENTLY CLOSED.”
”I really suggest you you’re your game here.”
If it’s not clear what happens here when you try to enter this bathroom one ghost randomly appears and laughs at you, if you try again two more appear and so on. By the way, the items that vendor machine has are these:
We buy 2 Cups and 2 Pork Stews and that’s it, we don’t need anything more.
I’m not sure but this could be a subtle joke to Resident Evil.
Believe it or not, the disguise will somehow flawlessly work, even for Ghostdog. Incidentally, in other jrpgs, when you were on a main facility of the big bad (especially if it was *insert random superweapon factory*) you would regularly be assaulted by random enemies even if your party was trying to sneak in *glares to FF7*. Here it does not happen, this Chimera Lab is pretty secure (for the Pigmen’s standards) but it does not have inane monsters running around without bothering the guards, there will not be a single random encounter on this building just to enhance the game’s atmosphere.
The Lab’s map, nothing fancy but functional, we’ll visit each room of each floor. If you inspect the shelves…
”Removal of this report from laboratory premises is forbidden.”
[Wisdom + Intelligence + Perception] Ultimate Chimera? That sounds like some sort of super weapon the enemy has stored here.
Pigmask: ”You guys are part-timers, right? Then get looking, too! Some monkey’s ve gone missing! They should be hiding somewhere in the lab. There’s two of ‘em! Scour every last inch of the place!”
Yep, a full squadron of pigmask is totally unable to find a pair of little monkeys, not because they’re incompetent but because basically they’re not trying at all, you’ll see.
You can buy Big City Colas here for 10 DP, not worth of wasting inventory space and money.
Pigmask: ”They are SO gonna get reconstructed if I get my hands on ‘em!”
I think I remember this guy from somewhere… Whatever, let’s keep going.
Naturally, there’s a Hot Spring here, even if you will not use it at all.
We'll find the means to grab these chemicals later.
Pigmask: ”And then… And then… And then… Those stairs there take you to the first floor… And then… there’s an elevator in that room over there, with the door open… I think? Huh?? Now I’m all confused again... But I think that’s probably right.”
Yes, the annoying parrot has been kidnapped and brought here; of course the villagers did not give a shit at all (supposing they noticed it was missing, rather hard to happen).
The parrot continues to repeat the same lines it said before; I will not bother on reposting these.
This looks like a room where the pigmen’s head honchos observe new chimeras in action (by the way, if you go to the 3rd floor from the other side the pigguard will somehow be on the other side of the room, no idea the reason except for the lulz).
”Should the Ultimate Chimera escape from its cage, seal all entrances and exits immediately. In the unlikely event that it gets outside, use full force to feign ignorance and pretend nothing happened. In the event that the Ultimate Chimera is seen by civilians… The rest has been erased and is unreadable”
It’s good to see a so obvious example of dedication, sacrifice, courage and responsibility. I assure you that the first emergency measure will not be applied at all (not for laziness nor lack of dedication though).
This last chimera is a new one. Also we learned a possible reason why they butchered and “chimerarized” so many innocent animals into horrible abominations, not only because “it’s cool” but to sell them (not surprising, as I assumed the enemy is really a jew-army after all).
Judging by the standard gear in this lab, I can deduce that things like “medical care”, “anesthetics”, or even “mercy” are alien terms for the Pig army. No wonder that all of the chimeras are terminally insane if they don’t bother with stunning the victims or being sure the mechanical parts fit, I feel sorry for the guy that lost a limb and was redirected to the Chimera Lab.
That confirms that the Dragos were mostly exterminated and some captured and dissected, I told you so.
”Chimera-Chow, Chimeras Go Straight For It!”
”My Secret Life, chapter 3 (Story from the previous chapter.) I was neither a murder suspect, nor a target for an international spy organization. But I drove a car down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 mph… A police officer pulled me over and asked for my driver’s license. He said I was going 20 mph over the speed limit. I instantly pointed to my wife and said, ‘I’m in a hurry, my wife is in labor.’ Fortunately, my wife actually had a big stomach. I hoped he’d let me go with this excuse. ‘Oh, since it’s an emergency. I’ll lead you to the hospital with my police car,’ he said. ‘No, it’s not necessary.’ ‘Why not?’ asked the officer. ‘Uh… Well…’ ‘Let’s get going’ said the officer… ‘No, no! We can’t! This baby is a demon child!’”
A nod to Earthbound, placed here for the sake of it.
The “courtyard”, although nothing happens here you can still visit it.
The last room we enter is on the first floor, it’s some sort of museum that you must check to advance the plot.
The stuffed frog is another save point.
Disgusting. Next room more stuffed chimeras, none of these are new so I’ll only show some:
This is the last room, where you discover who the monkeys that caused so much trouble were no-one other than Salsa and his “monkeyfriend”. Unfortunately the monkey is retarded/lacks a nose to recognize Lucas’ smell because they run away of the party.
Enough with the “gory” descriptions, it’s time for…
SURPRISE MID-BOSS ATTACK!! Link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX23Ik6iEyc
Well that was easy. What was that blabbering about a dangerous thing? Bah, no chimera is a threat to our Bro-power…
Except that the game now pretends it’s a survival horror and constantly you’ll hear the Ultimate Chimera’s gigantic roar and some pigmen being eaten/stunned if lucky, you can use this as some sort of radar: as long as you hear a roar and pigmen being defeated, it usually means the UC is not nearby.
Pigmask: ”But if he’s already standing in front of the room I wanna go in, I make a mad dash for the next room over instead… Brilliant! I’m so smart! I can’t believe how smart I am! Oww.”
Bah, bullshit, now I’ll just get out of this room and…
OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!!!
This is what happens if the Ultimate Chimera catches you (spoiler: Lucas is om nom-ed): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzK0ky8bkpM
Bawl! How could I know that a deadly monster that I was warned twice about its lethality was an actual really deadly monster able to one-hit kill me! This game sucks and it’s not enough mainstream! Bawl! Fo3 is better! /A possible response of a random casual retard, assuming for some strange reason one of these stumbled into a Mother 3 Rom. Being able to kill you instantly it’s not all, the Ultimate Chimera randomly moves around the lab; what’s more, sooner or later you will no longer hear the pigmen being thrashed, on this playthrough there was a moment I believed I was safe and started to run… Just to run into the Chimera, who was quietly waiting for prey, unfortunately I lost the screenshots. Still, I love this attempt to create tension on a handheld game.
Pigmask: ”…Why didn’t I run after them, you ask? …Ow… Oww, oww… M-my stomach, it pains me so. Yeah, that Ultimate Chimera or Kimura or whatever it’s called…” I’d make quick work of it, if only it weren’t for my aching stomach… Like they say, you can’t fight on an aching stomach. So I leave the rest to you! See ya! “
And then he runs away faster than light. So much for the stomach trouble.
But thanks to his heroic efforts we can now access the basement.
Pigmask: ”But you should probably get out of this building as fast as you can.”
There are some caged chimeras here and loot.
Researcher: ”We’re done for now…”
Fear not, we can stop this terrible monster if we manage to discover its weakness… Assuming it has one.
Pigmask: ”I should’ve eaten them sooner…”
Worry not, the dead do not suffer of hunger.
The monkeys escape again (by the way, I don’t know you but no matter how much Salsa hates the pigmen due to Fassad’s animal cruelty and his girlfriend kidnapping, I think that unleashing an unstoppable monster bent on destroying anything that moves that could escape and harm the villagers is a bit of overkill).
Pigmask: ”Oh man. This is too much for me to handle… If that red one’s out there, I’m just gonna have to wait it out in the freezer room…”
Don’t worry, my sixth sense says it’s safe…
OH FUCK!!! RUN!!!
Luckily it cannot follow you, the screenshot doesn’t show it but the UC is constantly banging the door, I don’t know if there’s a time limit until the door breaks and you’re killed, I never bothered to wait to check.
For the last time we find the monkeys, they still don’t recognize Lucas and co and so they escape.
Wait a minute, I recognize this guy, he’s Doctor Andonuts from Earthbound!
”I’m being forced to conduct various sorts of research by a certain man. Currently, though, I’m trying to conceal myself for certain reasons. I’m a bit occupied at the moment. Could you come back at a better time?”
For some lulz, if you talk to him again…
”…Just leave it at that, would you?”
This character exists on this game just to mess with the player; we’re not sure if he’s the real Andonuts that was brought here somehow or an aged Jeff, to complicate matter the act of hiding in a trashcan was done by Lloyd in Earthbound Zero for the NES (and thus Andonuts/Lloyd could be the only character recurring on every game despite the conflicting timelines).
It’s time for a showdown against the Ultimate Chimera, will our party be victorious? The reply is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjGV8S07sFQ
DUN DUN DUN!! We could go right away where the “monkeyfriend” is, but if you return to the Chimera Lab you’ll discover some new stuff that you could easily miss.
”I haven’t seen anything! I don’t know anything!”
Salsa can jump and grab the previously unreachable stuff of the shelves, this way we get a Defense Spray, an Offense Spray and a Bug Spray for free. Neat.
”Who the heck put it there, I wonder…”
”Not even you guys could stand up to it.”
Says you, we'll discover who's right sooner or later.
”All these medicines have such similar names that I mix them up all the time. (we got an Enemy Bufferizer for free, excellent)”
”*bleergh* I lost my appetite again…”
”In fact, I even come in here to eat sometimes.”
That’s all we can do here, so the party heads outside.
With the confusion some chimera escaped, more specifically the Einswine, a powerful monster able to use psychic powers so it must not be underestimated at all (by the way, there is no point on grinding to level up Salsa, after this event he’ll no longer be in your party for the rest of the game, so don’t bother with healing him or giving him important stuff you would not like to lose).
Salsa performs the same dances as the previous time and the door opens, no laughing door this time, sadly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3yklPuaXAg
Time to meet anotherhomogay Magypsy. Isn’t that exciting?
Hey, that’s Asuka!
Asuka tries to gently stroke the “monkeyfriend” but the ungrateful bastard backs away scared.
”Introduce me to them, won’t you?”
”(points to Salsa) This is Salsa the monkey and his ‘Love Monkey’. (points to Lucas) And this is Lucas the human and Garret the thief. (Looks at Ghostdog) And this dog is…”
She hurriedly asks Lucas for the dog’s name, I like how poor Garret is givenso little respect after all he had done.
”Ionia’s told me all about you. Come with me. I’ll show you where the Needle is. *giggle*”
”That’s Doria, one of the seven Magypsies. He saved me. Apparently, that’s what fate had in store.”
The map at the left does nothing but retell the story about the Needles and the Magypsies, so I’ll skip it.
”Apparently, a pretty woman dressed in red appeared in Doria’s dreams… and foretold that I’d fall into this pond. For some reason, after I heard that story… I just somehow knew you guys were alright too, and that I’d see you again soon enough. I was a little worried about you, though, Lucas.”
Aww, is this a sign of something deeper than a friend’s concern? (spoiler: it is not, Lucas is really unlucky with girls)
”My Needle is much more of a pain to pull out. *giggle* It’s hard to believe you really have the power to pull the Needles. But before you can even try, we need to move the water from this pond into that empty hole first. You know that Chimera Laboratory to the west of here? There might be some junk there that could help us move the pond water. Why not look for something there?”
And why don’t you use your powers to evaporate the water, you ugly abomination? Whatever, fortunately the Lab is not far away of here. Even more, you don’t even have to enter the building at all to look for Andonuts (other jrpgs would artificially extend the length by reusing the dungeon changing a bit the monsters you encounter, this is not the case, Andonuts is always hanging out of the building, carefully standing away of bloodthirsty monsters; oh, and as you see no-one of the pigmen could seal the exits, either because they were running away screaming or they were busy slowly bleeding to death).
”What’s that? You’re looking for a way to transfer all of the water from one pond to another? Hmmm… Those eyes of yours lad… They’re the eyes of someone who’s taken on some sort of mission… Very well. I’ll lend you a helping hand. Achoo!”
Some moments later (Andonuts may have indirectly mentioned Ness here, but if that’s so he has forgotten his own son, again).
”I’ve brought several of the Chimeras I’ve been developing in secret. Take whichever one you think will be the most useful to you. Take any Chimera you want.”
I’ll finish this update with a video, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdM5DQKcpyk
And that’s all for this update. Stay sharp for more inanity!! Lastly but not least, please post your comments/observations/whatever if you care, I’m not an attention-whore but I like to know what are my “guests” ’ opinions about this game considering what have you seen until now of it and/or if I can do something to do this lp more interesting.
Welcome back! End-of-term exams are over, and thus this lp will continue… NOW. I really missed the inanity and lulz of this game (and I’m sure you too). Let’s get back to work:
On the last update, we recovered one missing party member and learned more of the possible location of a mystical Needle that the evil Pork-Army wants to pull to trigger the End of the World/ITZ, we must prevent this by pulling the Needles first just like the bad guys want... ??? Doesn't matter, the Needle we’re going today is at the Chimera Lab, near the Ropeway.
We still can’t open this door, but if you examine it, the transceiver rings and this conversation triggers:
Pigmask: “The Needle appears to be behind a strange type of door in the Murasaki Forest! One of the monkeys in the Chimera Lab is the key to pulling the Needle… But it’s broken out of its cage and is running loose inside the building! Ukkii! … Sorry, it’s could out. Anyways, please send reinforcements… Ahh!! Hey, you! That’s the key to---! *krssssssh *boop* *boob* *click* *beep-beep-beep*”
It hears like trouble. Better we rush to it.
Now, how will we enter here, will old fashioned violence work?
Pigmask: “Keep watch for me, will ya? I’m gonna go inside and help look for some escaped monkeys.”
Oh, whatever, good for us. Observe the kid-friendly “sign” above the entrance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbTY__kFbIY
Pigmask (we decide to troll the pigman and say no): “Oh. Well, it’s great that you’re so interested in our company’s research, especially at such a young age. But please don’t go behind the min-theater’s speakers to get inside the lab. When someone tells you not to do something, you’re not supposed to do it. Understand?”
Yeah, sure .
This guy sells some stuff that can be used to gain extra xp, I’ll show it on another update (however the Offense and Defense Sprays are too expensive, Offense/Defense Up Omega, learned by Lucas does the same for all party members, and we can loot some of these things for free anyways).
Pigmask: “And don’t you dare try to find some other way inside!”
Basic psychology: When a kid hears “NO/ Don’t do x”, he’ll always understand the opposite.
Secrebot: ”THE CHIMERA THEATER IS CURRENTLY CLOSED.”
If it’s not clear what happens here when you try to enter this bathroom one ghost randomly appears and laughs at you, if you try again two more appear and so on. By the way, the items that vendor machine has are these:
We buy 2 Cups and 2 Pork Stews and that’s it, we don’t need anything more.
I’m not sure but this could be a subtle joke to Resident Evil.
Believe it or not, the disguise will somehow flawlessly work, even for Ghostdog. Incidentally, in other jrpgs, when you were on a main facility of the big bad (especially if it was *insert random superweapon factory*) you would regularly be assaulted by random enemies even if your party was trying to sneak in *glares to FF7*. Here it does not happen, this Chimera Lab is pretty secure (for the Pigmen’s standards) but it does not have inane monsters running around without bothering the guards, there will not be a single random encounter on this building just to enhance the game’s atmosphere.
The Lab’s map, nothing fancy but functional, we’ll visit each room of each floor. If you inspect the shelves…
[Wisdom + Intelligence + Perception] Ultimate Chimera? That sounds like some sort of super weapon the enemy has stored here.
Pigmask: ”You guys are part-timers, right? Then get looking, too! Some monkey’s ve gone missing! They should be hiding somewhere in the lab. There’s two of ‘em! Scour every last inch of the place!”
Yep, a full squadron of pigmask is totally unable to find a pair of little monkeys, not because they’re incompetent but because basically they’re not trying at all, you’ll see.
You can buy Big City Colas here for 10 DP, not worth of wasting inventory space and money.
Pigmask: ”They are SO gonna get reconstructed if I get my hands on ‘em!”
I think I remember this guy from somewhere… Whatever, let’s keep going.
Naturally, there’s a Hot Spring here, even if you will not use it at all.
We'll find the means to grab these chemicals later.
Pigmask: ”And then… And then… And then… Those stairs there take you to the first floor… And then… there’s an elevator in that room over there, with the door open… I think? Huh?? Now I’m all confused again... But I think that’s probably right.”
Yes, the annoying parrot has been kidnapped and brought here; of course the villagers did not give a shit at all (supposing they noticed it was missing, rather hard to happen).
The parrot continues to repeat the same lines it said before; I will not bother on reposting these.
This looks like a room where the pigmen’s head honchos observe new chimeras in action (by the way, if you go to the 3rd floor from the other side the pigguard will somehow be on the other side of the room, no idea the reason except for the lulz).
”Should the Ultimate Chimera escape from its cage, seal all entrances and exits immediately. In the unlikely event that it gets outside, use full force to feign ignorance and pretend nothing happened. In the event that the Ultimate Chimera is seen by civilians… The rest has been erased and is unreadable”
It’s good to see a so obvious example of dedication, sacrifice, courage and responsibility. I assure you that the first emergency measure will not be applied at all (not for laziness nor lack of dedication though).
This last chimera is a new one. Also we learned a possible reason why they butchered and “chimerarized” so many innocent animals into horrible abominations, not only because “it’s cool” but to sell them (not surprising, as I assumed the enemy is really a jew-army after all).
Judging by the standard gear in this lab, I can deduce that things like “medical care”, “anesthetics”, or even “mercy” are alien terms for the Pig army. No wonder that all of the chimeras are terminally insane if they don’t bother with stunning the victims or being sure the mechanical parts fit, I feel sorry for the guy that lost a limb and was redirected to the Chimera Lab.
That confirms that the Dragos were mostly exterminated and some captured and dissected, I told you so.
”My Secret Life, chapter 3 (Story from the previous chapter.) I was neither a murder suspect, nor a target for an international spy organization. But I drove a car down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 mph… A police officer pulled me over and asked for my driver’s license. He said I was going 20 mph over the speed limit. I instantly pointed to my wife and said, ‘I’m in a hurry, my wife is in labor.’ Fortunately, my wife actually had a big stomach. I hoped he’d let me go with this excuse. ‘Oh, since it’s an emergency. I’ll lead you to the hospital with my police car,’ he said. ‘No, it’s not necessary.’ ‘Why not?’ asked the officer. ‘Uh… Well…’ ‘Let’s get going’ said the officer… ‘No, no! We can’t! This baby is a demon child!’”
A nod to Earthbound, placed here for the sake of it.
The “courtyard”, although nothing happens here you can still visit it.
The last room we enter is on the first floor, it’s some sort of museum that you must check to advance the plot.
The stuffed frog is another save point.
Disgusting. Next room more stuffed chimeras, none of these are new so I’ll only show some:
This is the last room, where you discover who the monkeys that caused so much trouble were no-one other than Salsa and his “monkeyfriend”. Unfortunately the monkey is retarded/lacks a nose to recognize Lucas’ smell because they run away of the party.
Enough with the “gory” descriptions, it’s time for…
SURPRISE MID-BOSS ATTACK!! Link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX23Ik6iEyc
Well that was easy. What was that blabbering about a dangerous thing? Bah, no chimera is a threat to our Bro-power…
Except that the game now pretends it’s a survival horror and constantly you’ll hear the Ultimate Chimera’s gigantic roar and some pigmen being eaten/stunned if lucky, you can use this as some sort of radar: as long as you hear a roar and pigmen being defeated, it usually means the UC is not nearby.
Pigmask: ”But if he’s already standing in front of the room I wanna go in, I make a mad dash for the next room over instead… Brilliant! I’m so smart! I can’t believe how smart I am! Oww.”
Bah, bullshit, now I’ll just get out of this room and…
OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!!!
This is what happens if the Ultimate Chimera catches you (spoiler: Lucas is om nom-ed): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzK0ky8bkpM
Bawl! How could I know that a deadly monster that I was warned twice about its lethality was an actual really deadly monster able to one-hit kill me! This game sucks and it’s not enough mainstream! Bawl! Fo3 is better! /A possible response of a random casual retard, assuming for some strange reason one of these stumbled into a Mother 3 Rom. Being able to kill you instantly it’s not all, the Ultimate Chimera randomly moves around the lab; what’s more, sooner or later you will no longer hear the pigmen being thrashed, on this playthrough there was a moment I believed I was safe and started to run… Just to run into the Chimera, who was quietly waiting for prey, unfortunately I lost the screenshots. Still, I love this attempt to create tension on a handheld game.
Pigmask: ”…Why didn’t I run after them, you ask? …Ow… Oww, oww… M-my stomach, it pains me so. Yeah, that Ultimate Chimera or Kimura or whatever it’s called…” I’d make quick work of it, if only it weren’t for my aching stomach… Like they say, you can’t fight on an aching stomach. So I leave the rest to you! See ya! “
And then he runs away faster than light. So much for the stomach trouble.
But thanks to his heroic efforts we can now access the basement.
Pigmask: ”But you should probably get out of this building as fast as you can.”
There are some caged chimeras here and loot.
Researcher: ”We’re done for now…”
Fear not, we can stop this terrible monster if we manage to discover its weakness… Assuming it has one.
Pigmask: ”I should’ve eaten them sooner…”
Worry not, the dead do not suffer of hunger.
The monkeys escape again (by the way, I don’t know you but no matter how much Salsa hates the pigmen due to Fassad’s animal cruelty and his girlfriend kidnapping, I think that unleashing an unstoppable monster bent on destroying anything that moves that could escape and harm the villagers is a bit of overkill).
Pigmask: ”Oh man. This is too much for me to handle… If that red one’s out there, I’m just gonna have to wait it out in the freezer room…”
Don’t worry, my sixth sense says it’s safe…
OH FUCK!!! RUN!!!
Luckily it cannot follow you, the screenshot doesn’t show it but the UC is constantly banging the door, I don’t know if there’s a time limit until the door breaks and you’re killed, I never bothered to wait to check.
For the last time we find the monkeys, they still don’t recognize Lucas and co and so they escape.
Wait a minute, I recognize this guy, he’s Doctor Andonuts from Earthbound!
For some lulz, if you talk to him again…
This character exists on this game just to mess with the player; we’re not sure if he’s the real Andonuts that was brought here somehow or an aged Jeff, to complicate matter the act of hiding in a trashcan was done by Lloyd in Earthbound Zero for the NES (and thus Andonuts/Lloyd could be the only character recurring on every game despite the conflicting timelines).
It’s time for a showdown against the Ultimate Chimera, will our party be victorious? The reply is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjGV8S07sFQ
DUN DUN DUN!! We could go right away where the “monkeyfriend” is, but if you return to the Chimera Lab you’ll discover some new stuff that you could easily miss.
Salsa can jump and grab the previously unreachable stuff of the shelves, this way we get a Defense Spray, an Offense Spray and a Bug Spray for free. Neat.
Says you, we'll discover who's right sooner or later.
That’s all we can do here, so the party heads outside.
With the confusion some chimera escaped, more specifically the Einswine, a powerful monster able to use psychic powers so it must not be underestimated at all (by the way, there is no point on grinding to level up Salsa, after this event he’ll no longer be in your party for the rest of the game, so don’t bother with healing him or giving him important stuff you would not like to lose).
Salsa performs the same dances as the previous time and the door opens, no laughing door this time, sadly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3yklPuaXAg
Time to meet another
Hey, that’s Asuka!
Asuka tries to gently stroke the “monkeyfriend” but the ungrateful bastard backs away scared.
She hurriedly asks Lucas for the dog’s name, I like how poor Garret is givenso little respect after all he had done.
The map at the left does nothing but retell the story about the Needles and the Magypsies, so I’ll skip it.
Aww, is this a sign of something deeper than a friend’s concern? (spoiler: it is not, Lucas is really unlucky with girls)
And why don’t you use your powers to evaporate the water, you ugly abomination? Whatever, fortunately the Lab is not far away of here. Even more, you don’t even have to enter the building at all to look for Andonuts (other jrpgs would artificially extend the length by reusing the dungeon changing a bit the monsters you encounter, this is not the case, Andonuts is always hanging out of the building, carefully standing away of bloodthirsty monsters; oh, and as you see no-one of the pigmen could seal the exits, either because they were running away screaming or they were busy slowly bleeding to death).
Some moments later (Andonuts may have indirectly mentioned Ness here, but if that’s so he has forgotten his own son, again).
I’ll finish this update with a video, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdM5DQKcpyk
And that’s all for this update. Stay sharp for more inanity!! Lastly but not least, please post your comments/observations/whatever if you care, I’m not an attention-whore but I like to know what are my “guests” ’ opinions about this game considering what have you seen until now of it and/or if I can do something to do this lp more interesting.
spekkio
Arcane
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2009
- Messages
- 8,343
Well, I don't think there is currently a place for such cute-bizarre-overthetop settings/games on the current gaming market.
Not enough dumbing-down, next-gen, gritty-ness, sex & violence, etc.
So, kudos to you for doing this LP and showing us this charming game...
One more thing: I love older games for their last-gen design in the area of player initiative. In the past in many games there were often some not-obvious things to do, implemented by developers.
For example: weird things that could be done with PSI-powers in SS2, levels that could be played in many different ways in DX, etc. It's the same with the pig masks in this update: player tries to do something new in the game and... it works. In most new games you can only perform a couple of actions (press buttan - win teh game) and some things that should work from the setting perspective, aren't implemented duo to lazy design...
tl;dr
Not enough dumbing-down, next-gen, gritty-ness, sex & violence, etc.
So, kudos to you for doing this LP and showing us this charming game...
One more thing: I love older games for their last-gen design in the area of player initiative. In the past in many games there were often some not-obvious things to do, implemented by developers.
For example: weird things that could be done with PSI-powers in SS2, levels that could be played in many different ways in DX, etc. It's the same with the pig masks in this update: player tries to do something new in the game and... it works. In most new games you can only perform a couple of actions (press buttan - win teh game) and some things that should work from the setting perspective, aren't implemented duo to lazy design...
tl;dr
SuicideBunny
(ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ ┻━┻
- Joined
- May 1, 2007
- Messages
- 8,943
that sounds like something being played backwards... or maybe like the proper melody, but the individual sounds reversed.lightbane said:
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update 15: A song of ice, fire, transvestites and not-muslims
Greetings gentlemen, it’s time to continue this LP, today we’ll cover 2 Needles, which means we’re moving closer to the end of this chapter and jump right into the endgame, this LP has been going for too long and you know that sadly the game must end sooner or later.
First thing to do is to return to Tazmily Village to check if there’s new stuff; another reason to do it is because I would like to try an idea I had with the Enemy Bufferizer. Nothing happened on the journey so we skip to the meaningful things. For example, the previously irate Mole is no longer irate.
Mole: “Some mole crickets have been digging some really deep holes in that area. Could they be any MORE inconsiderate?! We moles’ve been digging holes here for a long time now, so they should’ve at least gone through the proper channels first. *mumble* Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all my complaints onto complete strangers.”
Don’t worry, Bioware perfected the art of making annoying characters that no-one that’s minimally sane and/or intelligent cares for and force down your throat sick romances and even worse dialog (now they pretend they have sex scenes that are poorly rendered and censored), and the worst thing of all: they frequently recycle the same characters again and again and the sheeple still praises them. About the hostility of the moles and the mole crickets, I would pay to see a gang war between these two, after all moles are trying to destroy this island for no real reason and if a war distracts them or even extinguishes them it’s a win/win situation. Anyways, we have a world to destr… I mean to save.
We deposit some stuff like the Mementos, the “single-use-but-ridiculously-useful instant resurrection items” for later use.
Dona: ”This is only a rumor, but I hear there’s a creepy building somewhere around there called the Etcetera Laboratory.”
That was before a really angry, unstoppable chimera destroyed everything and escaped; now it is now lurking somewhere seeking for prey to hunt, but luckily that’s none of our business.
Bob: ”but the chain-link shutters inside the tunnel are open now.”
Way ahead of you.
That’s the thing I was looking for, this thing is a REALLY rare enemy, it can be found on the forest since the beginning of Chapter 4, it gave you tons of xp to the point of overleveling Lucas but right now it’s not so much. However there’s a trick to increase its usefulness, give it an Enemy Bufferizer and your party will gain up to 3 levels.
If we repeat this two times more we will not need anymore to grind until the endgame, but since I had to constantly search the entire forest for 10 minutes before spotting the monster, I don’t have the patience to do it more than once (and that would be blatant powergaming), so for now we’ll return to the Chimera Lab, some things changed during our absence. For example, I forgot to take a screenshot but there’s a huge hole where the Ultimate Chimera escaped. Another change:
The lab has been filled with an aggressive squad of pigmen, I think we can assume the pigarmy blames Lucas for the mess, revoked his part-time pass and sent these soldiers that are out for his blood. There’s also a new monster:
This strange creature is immune to psi (except Lucas’ bropower), and has a strange way of attacking:
It doesn’t give too many xp, it’s just an easter-egg for the determined explorers. Now we must go where the Mole Cricket invited us to go:
Prepare yourself for one of the most strange and confusing places of the game: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iWAKn113Yo
The entire level is an inane maze that may or may not be reminiscent of these frustrating dungeons of old-school rpgs. For now most of the paths are closed except one.
Naturally there’s a hot spring there, even if this area has no enemies.
Mole Cricket: ”We’re exceptionally proud.”
”I’ve asked him to be the judge for our match today. If you try to run away or do anything cheap, neither of us’ll sit by quietly… Just so you know. Anyways, I’ve got special rules for our match. If, by some chance, an outcome isn’t reached after 10 minutes have passed, we’ll go to overtime, which’ll last five more minutes. And if a conclusion still isn’t reached after that, our elder’ll decide who the winner is. Elder. Is there anything you’d like to add?”
Elder
”Take my advice. Sometimes, the bravest thing to do is to run away… But you insist on it? In that case, I won’t stop you.”
It’s just a stupid mole cricket, of COURSE we’ll fight it.
”Alright! I guess you have no care for your own life! The bell has rung!”
So, this fight it’s a throwback to the beginning of the game… Literally, I dunno what this mole cricket has done for these years but he did not improve at all, it can only hurt you for 1 hp and has 10 hp, so the battle went like this:
*Raises eyebrow*
” AGHH!! YOU’RE TOO STRONG!! *faints*”
After defeating the pathetic bug:
Elder
”To think that such a mighty mole cricket warrior could be so easily defeated… Perhaps mole crickets aren’t so powerful after all… I’ll meditate on what else this means at a later time. But, for now, the match is over. I suppose the traditional thing to do now is be on good terms with you. So let’s be friends. Is there anything you need?”
”Do you know where the Needles sealing away the Dark Dragon are? We’re looking for them.”
”But, call it a hunch, I think there could be a clue to these mysterious objects on the mountain on the far end of this mole cricket hole. I figure that’s what the elder wants to say, too. He’s hard to read sometimes, though.”
Elder
”Go through this mole cricket hole and head up the mountain! I’m certain that’s what you must do!”
”We don’t have any other leads to follow up on, so let’s check it out. Oh, hey. You guys don’t know anything about the Dark Dragon itself, do you?”
”Even though he’s our elder, he’s still just a mole cricket, too. We have no real strength at all… It’s a pity. The very least we can do… is help you by eating the lotus roots blocking your way, and other things like that. Wow… A dragon… I bet it’s really incredible…”
Elder
”A dragon that sleeps underground, needles that seal it away, us being surprisingly weak… Living a long life is worth it. Do you suppose you could tell us mole crickets about even more things?”
Why not?
Elder
”so please raise us to be great. To start off, I’m thinking of starting a business in our own unique, mole cricket way. Please stop by if you ever happen to see us!”
He’s little, but hes’ a tough one. You can treat him just like any other item. Hey! Little bro! C’mere!”
The screenshots could not capture it (it went too fast), but a microscopic mole cricket jumped into Lucas’ pants (oh dear, that sounds horrible).
”just ask my little bro for help and he’ll bring you straight back here. Right, little bro? … C’mon, bro! Get your act together! The bad news is he’s kinda lame and hates the sunlight more than anything else in the world. So be careful. You can’t take him with you outside the mole cricket hole… Right, little bro?!”
That’s the “item” he mentions, as you've told now you can “use” any of the barriers and it will be quickly devoured by a swarm of mole crickets, clearing the previously blocked corridor.
”Everything over there is mysterious for some reason. I’m not brave at all, so I’m too scared to go.”
”Do that and you’ll eventually reach the other end of this mole cricket hole. Have faith in yourself and proceed NOT straight ahead! Time for another song!
”Do that, and you’ll never get lost!”
Okay, this shit is pure inane madness.
”You’re gonna get bored fast if you don’t do pointless chit-chat with us.”
A mole cricket trying to disguise itself as a save frog? Sorry but no.
”I guess that’s one way to think about it… It’s not much, but I feel a little rejected.”
”Like how to dig holes and how to win fights.”
This area includes a shop, don’t ask how it works.
”The Mole Cricket Hole’s famous Sincerity Dumplings! I make them every day and set them out so I can practice conducting business. I have some super-fresh ones today, too!”
Looks interesting but Boiled Eggs can be obtained for free so we’ll only buy a pair of these. About the maze… I cannot explain how tedious it is, just assume I turned all the time to the right until somehow I made it to the exit (quest compass and minimaps are for lesser beings), I don’t have many screenshoots but these will be enough (the fact that the game doesn’t have every corridor swarming with enemies like other jrpgs and some recent rpgs is a blessing).
Finally! We’re on Snowcap, time for the corresponding music, a staple of the series (and the best version of the 3 games), Snowman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH8JL_jGS_w
”I don’t have a name but remember me sometimes as being a pretty cool guy, okay?”
Of course, bro…
”I’m surprised anyone would come to such a cold place!”
Just like in Earthbound’s dream level, you can talk to the snowmen for some reason (blame the Magypsies’ magic).
One of the new enemies, it’s a bit tough but it’s vulnerable to PSI, so we easily kill it.
This one can use PSI Freeze Beta, but PSI Fire Alpha will be enough to melt it to nothingness (or just smack him repeatedly with the entire party, it works wonders) plus it drops good loot.
This level is pretty straightforward, you just have to climb up to the top dodging these kamikaze yetis (if you don’t touch them there’s a possibility they’ll fly out of the screen and crash somewhere else I believe, for my playthrough I did not bother to confirm it and instead destroyed everything that was standing in my way).
More loot.
”Some snowmen melt away without meeting anyone.”
A shame, I’m sure everyone would like to have a sentient snowman. Just when we were to reach the top someone intercepts the party:
”I’m studying you see! I have an undying sense of curiosity! IT’s like the Call of the Wild, and all that! For whatever reason, I picked up all sorts of stuff along the way! Please let me use them to conduct business!”
We buy some food items, update our gear and that’s all, from now on these mole crickets will be at certain places acting as vendors...
”I’m still new to this but I’m going to work as hard as I possibly can!”
Like this one (next to a Hot Spring, don’t mind the snow and the cold). After some more steps we encounter our objective:
The rabbits notice us first and they run away. Interestingly, all of the magypsies seems to have some sort of pet (perhaps to maintain their humanity and kindness)?
”..This is quite a surprise, you see. We haven’t had visitors in some time. You must be cold. Come inside and warm up.”
”IT looks like he went on a scouting mission and got separated from his friends.”
”They say you’re the one who can pull the Needles. Such a strong, sweet face… I am Lydia, the Magypsy of Snowcap Mountain. What you seek is behind this house. It’s surreal, realizing the time has finally come for my Needle to be pulled. I never thought this day would come to pass. When you pull the Needle, I’ll vanish. That is our fate as Magypsies, so that is what must happen. When ‘the time’ comes, I’ll welcome it with open arms. But, there IS one concern I have. Who will take care of my precious bunnies once I’m gone? No-one will be here to look after them…”
”We aren’t permitted to interfere, and it’s wrong of me to worry so much about it. I’m a mess, a horrible Magypsy. I never believed ‘the time’ would come! Lucas. Pull the Needle. Because it’s time.”
”I’ve unlocked the door for you.”
Time to pull the Needle, we…
“Wait a minute. Lucas, why are you doing this?”
”Eh?”
”I’m asking WHY are you pulling the Needles.”
”Well I must do it because if not the Pork Army could destroy the world…”
” But you DON’T need to do this, after all you could just strike the Pokr-Army’s headquarters, kill the leaders and call it a day, you would be able to do it considering their usual incompetence. But you’re pulling these Needles for no real reason. Why are you doing this? Are you doing this because you thought that’s what your mom and bro would want? Did you assume that perhaps you would be able to see them again?
” Actually… I don’t know, I just know I’m the only one that I can do it…”
””But THAT’S the problem, you don’t have a real reason to do that, screw destiny, fate and these fuckers, they do nothing to help you, if you’re strong enough you’ll succeed on whatever you want to do. Besides, pulling all of the Needles could trigger the end of the world too; hell, even the supposed guardians of the Needles don’t know what would really happen.”
” Why are you idling so much?”
"FUUCK!!! I retire what I said, if pulling the Needles is the only way of killing these horrible, immortal, gay, androgynous beings then destroying the world is a necessary evil."
Hey, you two, stop this pointless discussion, there’s a video for the following section, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZHuuJatsgg
Heh, so all of this effort was for nothing? I call it hax, the enemy has airplanes and enormous reserves and Lucas instead must travel walking with no more company than a princess with anger management issues, a sentient dog and a crippled thief.
”Pay me no mind.”
Look at that, the porkman woke up! And he even seems to be an actual human being (vaguely resembling Apple Kid of Earthbound)!
”Me and you are enemies. Don’t bother with me. Just go do what you need to do. I have no intention of helping you guys out. That Magypsy helped me out, though. Even though I’m a complete stranger. So I’m gonna stay here and look after his rabbits. Then we’ll be even. Get going already! Before another Needle gets pulled!”
Cool I guess, now we must return to Tazmily. The long, stupid, boring way is backtracking, the fun, short, awesome way is arriving to the top of the mountain and then:
Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtliQ2wqCAM
There’s even less people in the Tazmily Village than before, assume that everyone that’s not shown being spoken to either doesn’t have anything new to tell or just moved to that Pork City they frequently mention.
”as long as you have hope, there’ll be always tomorrow. So try not to give up hope. And what’s also important is humor!”
Lucas already knows this, if he didn’t he would be totally insane and/or dead by now…
”Lucas, won’t your friends come with us?”
”It’s such a sad and lonely place now…”
Wess: ”Garret! So, you’ve finally remembered that you’re the Garret! Wa-hahahaha! I see! I see! That’s great. Lucas… Thank you for going out of your way to tell me about Garret. Princess… Thank you very much. Say, Garret… Be thankful to Lucas and his friends. Make sure you’re helpful to them. Anyways, let’s meet again sometime. We’ll kick up our feet and take it easy. Now get going already! This is embarrassing…”
Incredible, for once Wess has not insulted and mistreated Garret! A shame the rest of the villagers are less considerate.
Jonel: ”No, no. I know, I know. I can tell. You wanna ask about Tanetale Island, right? Don’t pretend you don’t! I know you wanna know about Tanetale Island. Okay, I’ll tell you about it. There’s an island straight across the sea from this beach. It’s known as Tanetale Island, or sometimes ‘Spooky Island’. Actually, I was the one who thought up the name ‘Spooky Island’. They say the only way to get there is to dive to the bottom of the ocean. Yeah right! As if that’s really possible! I think not! Anyways, that’s all I know. But I do know all kinds of other good stuff. I’d love to talk about them, and I know you’d love to hear about them. What? You DON’T want to hear about them?”
Wisdom: Hmm, I think that somehow this information will be later relevant. I also like how despite being a mute character Lucas “tells” some replies that most of us would say in his situation. Time to walk back to where the Mr Saturns were, looting some gifts I didn’t see the first time we were here…
Frigging Mr. Saturns and their horrible jokes…
”Can go.”
”Itty bitty wait before going up.”
Garret starts climbing, every Mr Saturn “complains” as Garret climbs up.
Great, we're forced to complete the dungeon before being able to come back, so much for helping stupid xenos…
Mole Cricket: ”And actually, we’ve started to branch out into the business world. With franchises opening up everywhere, we’re now at the forefront of business evolution. We have all sorts of wonderful goods that we found lying on the… I mean stocked up on. I could let you have some of them, if you’d like. Well? Would you like to take a look?”
We buy some food and that’s it, I ignored all of the healing items because I was confident that Lucas’ healing powers would be enough (a decision that would come back later to haunt my ass, sadly).
The magysy:
”Slalking? *mumble*”
”I assume I’ll be fast asleep when you arrive, so I’m leaving this letter here for you. I’m a little more serious and detail-oriented than the other Magypsies. Hello again Lucas.
Ionia told me you would be coming here. The Dark Dragon’s Needle you’re to pull is in a lake of lava up ahead. I don’t mind if you pull it while I’m asleep… It will mean ‘the time’ has come, and I’ll disappear in my sleep. There’s a boulder blocking the path to the volcano. You should give it some Encouraging Words. Well, good luck. Smoochie smooochie.”
Somehow that worked. But that’s not all, there’s another puzzle ahead:
The catch here is that these boulders move only in a certain direction, you must alternate between all of them until the path is clear, super-easy, only a braindead moron (or a casual gamer) would fail this one.
New zone, new music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1s0r6NUAc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WjEF9H3LBA
And new enemies. The 1st one likes to spam Psi Fire Beta or Alpha so it must be killed as quickly as possible (PSI Freeze Beta is an insta-kill here). The 2nd one hits hard but the only Psi it has is Hypnosis Alfa. Nothing dangerous here except if you tried to go to this dungeon underleveled and only with Lucas and Ghostdog, the enemies would rape you and kill you before you could say “oh fuck!”. And these are the weaker ones.
”Apparently, he’s undergone a HUGE makeover to change his image.”
”Apparently, he’s made some pretty hardcore changes to himself sound-wise. Sounds like we better find that Needle fast before he starts yelling at us even louder than before. And this time, he’s got horns, no less.”
The two losers notice us and attempt to stop the bro-party, we trash them effortlessly. So Fassad is still alive? If I recall correctly, he slipped and fell when he was standing on the very top of a very tall tower (surely stopping the fall with his skull), then the Tower exploded and as a consequence some debris fell upon him (after being properly scorched by the explosion), he was being crushed for agonizing hours until he was rescued, and that’s assuming that he did not needed too many “replacements” for his wounds, remember how the Chimera Lab works and how painful would the entire process be, if he wasn’t a soulless bastard I would feel a bit of pity for him. However after all of this shit he’s still alive and kicking; for being a bad guy this not-sandnigger has a remarkable superhuman will to live. Surprising.
When we enter the next part of the cavern/dungeon, we encounter 3 new types of enemies:
The Pyrefly, one of the most powerful enemies of the “fly” family, has low hp but like the others tends to spam fire attacks that hit the entire party.
More animated mushrooms, nothing to worry about.
Some loot…
And there it is. This fellow is the most dangerous motherfucker of the dungeon, he uses Psi Fire Beta to hit the entire party (and he hits HARD), can summon Pyreflies at will, and has a moderate quantity of hp (and unlike other enemies it can suddenly jump from the lava ambushing you). If you did not have Asuka when you met one of these, you would die right now.
Anyways, time for the boss battle, it must be seen to be believed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoE2l6QM1z8
Lulz, I’m sure that’s what happens when you leave the medical bills to ajew very greedy person like the leader of the Pork Army, he’ll use the dirtiest and cheapest tricks so that the medical facilities are as less expensive as possible, even if as a consequence all of their “patients” will end terminally insane thanks to the constant pain and/or resemble horrible, inhuman monsters. The rest of the dialogue:
”Unlike the other Magypsies, I’m very detail-oriented. I’ll tell you about the Needles and then disappear. One Needle is on Tanetane Island, south of Tazmily. I believe Mixolydia is protecting it. Another Needle is in Chupichupyoi Temple, deep in the Oriander Mountains. I believe Ionia is protecting it. I think you already know this, of course, but it’s said that the heart of whoever pulls the Needles is passed on the Dark Dragon…
Instill the power of power, the darkness of darkness, and the light of the light into your spirit. Let me peer into your eyes. Thank you… Lucas. I wrote down everything I just told you in this secret notebook. Take it with you. And another one… The Needle said to be sticking out of the Dark Dragon’s head… I can’t seem to locate it at all. Nor Locria, who’s supposed to protect that particular Needle… I’m so picky about the details yet I have no idea where they are… Having to disappear without finding out… It’s a little bit sad. Please, don’t forget me. Here, there is a memento of me: A razor and lipstick… Please take good care of them, okay? You can expect to see more of me in your dreams from now on. *gigle* Goodbye!”
The last line was disturbing. Oh, and the Magypsies’ worst fear is not death but being forgotten, aka Oblivion, not even the tranvestites like it, lol. We backtrack to the Mr Saturn village…
”Can fall.”
Now that there’s a proper ladder we can go up and down at will. More importantly, that ladder that goes nowhere could be another joke/reference to Mother 2, where in the Mr Saturn Village there was a small area of the village that seemed you could go there but was totally inaccessible (sometimes random enemies hanged here to give you further impressions that the place could be visited but it was not).
The pork army, obviously butthurt, decided to block our entry. What could we do now?
”Let’s ask the Mr. Saturns if there’s any other way to get outside.”
”broke tunnel and left.”
”Is there any other way to leave besides that tunnel?”
”For flying vehicle. But not enough birdies yet. Maybe one more.”
Done, I’m sure this will be totally safe and not useless at all…
”You wait in hot spring.”
For some reason, this looks familiar…
“Well, you said that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, no? *drinks*”
“Wait Lucas! Not this time! Do not drink the coffee or you’ll literally be tripping balls!”
Too late, Lucas loses it. Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7HWxi0HjBU
Don’t worry, we’ll find later the very butthurt Rope Snake, but for now that’s all, this is the end of the update. Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait at least two weeks for more, I have some personal stuff to do. In the meantime I would like that you bumped this until new page. Stay sharp until then!
Greetings gentlemen, it’s time to continue this LP, today we’ll cover 2 Needles, which means we’re moving closer to the end of this chapter and jump right into the endgame, this LP has been going for too long and you know that sadly the game must end sooner or later.
First thing to do is to return to Tazmily Village to check if there’s new stuff; another reason to do it is because I would like to try an idea I had with the Enemy Bufferizer. Nothing happened on the journey so we skip to the meaningful things. For example, the previously irate Mole is no longer irate.
Mole: “Some mole crickets have been digging some really deep holes in that area. Could they be any MORE inconsiderate?! We moles’ve been digging holes here for a long time now, so they should’ve at least gone through the proper channels first. *mumble* Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all my complaints onto complete strangers.”
Don’t worry, Bioware perfected the art of making annoying characters that no-one that’s minimally sane and/or intelligent cares for and force down your throat sick romances and even worse dialog (now they pretend they have sex scenes that are poorly rendered and censored), and the worst thing of all: they frequently recycle the same characters again and again and the sheeple still praises them. About the hostility of the moles and the mole crickets, I would pay to see a gang war between these two, after all moles are trying to destroy this island for no real reason and if a war distracts them or even extinguishes them it’s a win/win situation. Anyways, we have a world to destr… I mean to save.
We deposit some stuff like the Mementos, the “single-use-but-ridiculously-useful instant resurrection items” for later use.
Dona: ”This is only a rumor, but I hear there’s a creepy building somewhere around there called the Etcetera Laboratory.”
That was before a really angry, unstoppable chimera destroyed everything and escaped; now it is now lurking somewhere seeking for prey to hunt, but luckily that’s none of our business.
Bob: ”but the chain-link shutters inside the tunnel are open now.”
Way ahead of you.
That’s the thing I was looking for, this thing is a REALLY rare enemy, it can be found on the forest since the beginning of Chapter 4, it gave you tons of xp to the point of overleveling Lucas but right now it’s not so much. However there’s a trick to increase its usefulness, give it an Enemy Bufferizer and your party will gain up to 3 levels.
If we repeat this two times more we will not need anymore to grind until the endgame, but since I had to constantly search the entire forest for 10 minutes before spotting the monster, I don’t have the patience to do it more than once (and that would be blatant powergaming), so for now we’ll return to the Chimera Lab, some things changed during our absence. For example, I forgot to take a screenshot but there’s a huge hole where the Ultimate Chimera escaped. Another change:
The lab has been filled with an aggressive squad of pigmen, I think we can assume the pigarmy blames Lucas for the mess, revoked his part-time pass and sent these soldiers that are out for his blood. There’s also a new monster:
This strange creature is immune to psi (except Lucas’ bropower), and has a strange way of attacking:
It doesn’t give too many xp, it’s just an easter-egg for the determined explorers. Now we must go where the Mole Cricket invited us to go:
Prepare yourself for one of the most strange and confusing places of the game: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iWAKn113Yo
The entire level is an inane maze that may or may not be reminiscent of these frustrating dungeons of old-school rpgs. For now most of the paths are closed except one.
Naturally there’s a hot spring there, even if this area has no enemies.
Mole Cricket: ”We’re exceptionally proud.”
Elder
It’s just a stupid mole cricket, of COURSE we’ll fight it.
So, this fight it’s a throwback to the beginning of the game… Literally, I dunno what this mole cricket has done for these years but he did not improve at all, it can only hurt you for 1 hp and has 10 hp, so the battle went like this:
After defeating the pathetic bug:
Elder
Elder
Elder
Why not?
Elder
The screenshots could not capture it (it went too fast), but a microscopic mole cricket jumped into Lucas’ pants (oh dear, that sounds horrible).
That’s the “item” he mentions, as you've told now you can “use” any of the barriers and it will be quickly devoured by a swarm of mole crickets, clearing the previously blocked corridor.
Okay, this shit is pure inane madness.
A mole cricket trying to disguise itself as a save frog? Sorry but no.
This area includes a shop, don’t ask how it works.
Looks interesting but Boiled Eggs can be obtained for free so we’ll only buy a pair of these. About the maze… I cannot explain how tedious it is, just assume I turned all the time to the right until somehow I made it to the exit (quest compass and minimaps are for lesser beings), I don’t have many screenshoots but these will be enough (the fact that the game doesn’t have every corridor swarming with enemies like other jrpgs and some recent rpgs is a blessing).
Finally! We’re on Snowcap, time for the corresponding music, a staple of the series (and the best version of the 3 games), Snowman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH8JL_jGS_w
Of course, bro…
Just like in Earthbound’s dream level, you can talk to the snowmen for some reason (blame the Magypsies’ magic).
One of the new enemies, it’s a bit tough but it’s vulnerable to PSI, so we easily kill it.
This one can use PSI Freeze Beta, but PSI Fire Alpha will be enough to melt it to nothingness (or just smack him repeatedly with the entire party, it works wonders) plus it drops good loot.
This level is pretty straightforward, you just have to climb up to the top dodging these kamikaze yetis (if you don’t touch them there’s a possibility they’ll fly out of the screen and crash somewhere else I believe, for my playthrough I did not bother to confirm it and instead destroyed everything that was standing in my way).
More loot.
A shame, I’m sure everyone would like to have a sentient snowman. Just when we were to reach the top someone intercepts the party:
We buy some food items, update our gear and that’s all, from now on these mole crickets will be at certain places acting as vendors...
Like this one (next to a Hot Spring, don’t mind the snow and the cold). After some more steps we encounter our objective:
The rabbits notice us first and they run away. Interestingly, all of the magypsies seems to have some sort of pet (perhaps to maintain their humanity and kindness)?
Time to pull the Needle, we…
Hey, you two, stop this pointless discussion, there’s a video for the following section, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZHuuJatsgg
Heh, so all of this effort was for nothing? I call it hax, the enemy has airplanes and enormous reserves and Lucas instead must travel walking with no more company than a princess with anger management issues, a sentient dog and a crippled thief.
Look at that, the porkman woke up! And he even seems to be an actual human being (vaguely resembling Apple Kid of Earthbound)!
Cool I guess, now we must return to Tazmily. The long, stupid, boring way is backtracking, the fun, short, awesome way is arriving to the top of the mountain and then:
Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtliQ2wqCAM
There’s even less people in the Tazmily Village than before, assume that everyone that’s not shown being spoken to either doesn’t have anything new to tell or just moved to that Pork City they frequently mention.
Lucas already knows this, if he didn’t he would be totally insane and/or dead by now…
Wess: ”Garret! So, you’ve finally remembered that you’re the Garret! Wa-hahahaha! I see! I see! That’s great. Lucas… Thank you for going out of your way to tell me about Garret. Princess… Thank you very much. Say, Garret… Be thankful to Lucas and his friends. Make sure you’re helpful to them. Anyways, let’s meet again sometime. We’ll kick up our feet and take it easy. Now get going already! This is embarrassing…”
Incredible, for once Wess has not insulted and mistreated Garret! A shame the rest of the villagers are less considerate.
Jonel: ”No, no. I know, I know. I can tell. You wanna ask about Tanetale Island, right? Don’t pretend you don’t! I know you wanna know about Tanetale Island. Okay, I’ll tell you about it. There’s an island straight across the sea from this beach. It’s known as Tanetale Island, or sometimes ‘Spooky Island’. Actually, I was the one who thought up the name ‘Spooky Island’. They say the only way to get there is to dive to the bottom of the ocean. Yeah right! As if that’s really possible! I think not! Anyways, that’s all I know. But I do know all kinds of other good stuff. I’d love to talk about them, and I know you’d love to hear about them. What? You DON’T want to hear about them?”
Wisdom: Hmm, I think that somehow this information will be later relevant. I also like how despite being a mute character Lucas “tells” some replies that most of us would say in his situation. Time to walk back to where the Mr Saturns were, looting some gifts I didn’t see the first time we were here…
Frigging Mr. Saturns and their horrible jokes…
Garret starts climbing, every Mr Saturn “complains” as Garret climbs up.
Great, we're forced to complete the dungeon before being able to come back, so much for helping stupid xenos…
Mole Cricket: ”And actually, we’ve started to branch out into the business world. With franchises opening up everywhere, we’re now at the forefront of business evolution. We have all sorts of wonderful goods that we found lying on the… I mean stocked up on. I could let you have some of them, if you’d like. Well? Would you like to take a look?”
We buy some food and that’s it, I ignored all of the healing items because I was confident that Lucas’ healing powers would be enough (a decision that would come back later to haunt my ass, sadly).
The magysy:
Ionia told me you would be coming here. The Dark Dragon’s Needle you’re to pull is in a lake of lava up ahead. I don’t mind if you pull it while I’m asleep… It will mean ‘the time’ has come, and I’ll disappear in my sleep. There’s a boulder blocking the path to the volcano. You should give it some Encouraging Words. Well, good luck. Smoochie smooochie.”
Somehow that worked. But that’s not all, there’s another puzzle ahead:
The catch here is that these boulders move only in a certain direction, you must alternate between all of them until the path is clear, super-easy, only a braindead moron (or a casual gamer) would fail this one.
New zone, new music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1s0r6NUAc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WjEF9H3LBA
And new enemies. The 1st one likes to spam Psi Fire Beta or Alpha so it must be killed as quickly as possible (PSI Freeze Beta is an insta-kill here). The 2nd one hits hard but the only Psi it has is Hypnosis Alfa. Nothing dangerous here except if you tried to go to this dungeon underleveled and only with Lucas and Ghostdog, the enemies would rape you and kill you before you could say “oh fuck!”. And these are the weaker ones.
The two losers notice us and attempt to stop the bro-party, we trash them effortlessly. So Fassad is still alive? If I recall correctly, he slipped and fell when he was standing on the very top of a very tall tower (surely stopping the fall with his skull), then the Tower exploded and as a consequence some debris fell upon him (after being properly scorched by the explosion), he was being crushed for agonizing hours until he was rescued, and that’s assuming that he did not needed too many “replacements” for his wounds, remember how the Chimera Lab works and how painful would the entire process be, if he wasn’t a soulless bastard I would feel a bit of pity for him. However after all of this shit he’s still alive and kicking; for being a bad guy this not-sandnigger has a remarkable superhuman will to live. Surprising.
When we enter the next part of the cavern/dungeon, we encounter 3 new types of enemies:
The Pyrefly, one of the most powerful enemies of the “fly” family, has low hp but like the others tends to spam fire attacks that hit the entire party.
More animated mushrooms, nothing to worry about.
Some loot…
And there it is. This fellow is the most dangerous motherfucker of the dungeon, he uses Psi Fire Beta to hit the entire party (and he hits HARD), can summon Pyreflies at will, and has a moderate quantity of hp (and unlike other enemies it can suddenly jump from the lava ambushing you). If you did not have Asuka when you met one of these, you would die right now.
Anyways, time for the boss battle, it must be seen to be believed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoE2l6QM1z8
Lulz, I’m sure that’s what happens when you leave the medical bills to a
Instill the power of power, the darkness of darkness, and the light of the light into your spirit. Let me peer into your eyes. Thank you… Lucas. I wrote down everything I just told you in this secret notebook. Take it with you. And another one… The Needle said to be sticking out of the Dark Dragon’s head… I can’t seem to locate it at all. Nor Locria, who’s supposed to protect that particular Needle… I’m so picky about the details yet I have no idea where they are… Having to disappear without finding out… It’s a little bit sad. Please, don’t forget me. Here, there is a memento of me: A razor and lipstick… Please take good care of them, okay? You can expect to see more of me in your dreams from now on. *gigle* Goodbye!”
The last line was disturbing. Oh, and the Magypsies’ worst fear is not death but being forgotten, aka Oblivion, not even the tranvestites like it, lol. We backtrack to the Mr Saturn village…
Now that there’s a proper ladder we can go up and down at will. More importantly, that ladder that goes nowhere could be another joke/reference to Mother 2, where in the Mr Saturn Village there was a small area of the village that seemed you could go there but was totally inaccessible (sometimes random enemies hanged here to give you further impressions that the place could be visited but it was not).
The pork army, obviously butthurt, decided to block our entry. What could we do now?
Done, I’m sure this will be totally safe and not useless at all…
For some reason, this looks familiar…
Too late, Lucas loses it. Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7HWxi0HjBU
Don’t worry, we’ll find later the very butthurt Rope Snake, but for now that’s all, this is the end of the update. Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait at least two weeks for more, I have some personal stuff to do. In the meantime I would like that you bumped this until new page. Stay sharp until then!
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Geez, bumping seems to be too hard for you, no? Anyways, some pics to bump even faster to next page and to show some stuff of what's about to come (the game doesn't have official art, so the quality of it varies):
Yes, it's fucked up, but you'll see...
Yes, it's fucked up, but you'll see...
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