Let's play Mother 3 (Completed)

[lightbane]

Today it's a short update to vary

Update 5: The longest prologue ever existed, part 5: A monkey in my island
Greetings! Today I’ll lp the 1st part of chapter 3, intro here (skip to 5:00).
Well, you just saw the protagonists of chapter 3 (that happens at the same time of the 2nd one), the little monkey Salsa (his plot importance is too small to deserve a new name), and the evil arabian animal-molester Fassad, who wants to go to Tazmily Village for surely not good reasons.
One of the gimmicks of this chapter is that Fassad will occasionally tell Salsa to dance, and you’ll have to pass a very easy minigame (and if you fail, Fassad will just zap Salsa and start again until you do it right). What’s worse, Salsa is a VERY weak monkey, he starts at level 1 and his stats are very low even if you grind a lot (and of course he doesn’t have any PSI ability). To compensate, he has a special set of skills, the Monkey Tricks, which are:
- “Apologize”, stops the enemy on their tracks wasting some of their turns, the probability of working varies.
- “Make laugh”, same as Apologize.
- “Dance”, may randomly increase one of Salsa’s stats or force the enemy to dance to waste one turn or two.
- “Monkey Mimic”, spends your turn to copy the attack the enemy does with the exact quantity of damage (and sometimes a bit more), no matter how bizarre it looks (Salsa can even imitate a scorpion strike; that’s right, Salsa delivers a last kick to Poo’s balls by copying his ability and making it actually useful).
As you see these skills are mostly useless, which will force you to adopt new tactics as you travel in this desert looting everything at sight. For starting, we have this enemy:

Mostly inoffensive, but with Salsa’s low Offense you will take a long time to kill it. That’s where the other of the chapter’s gimmicks enters: Unlike other npcs, Fassad is actually useful and will sometimes strike the enemy for decent damage, turn on the “Punishing collar” to “heal” Salsa from any ailment by “forcing him to focus”, charge the foe for lots of damage, and sometimes throw a bomb (hurr) for an overkill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBh7d31oXdM (sorry if I already posted that song, but it’s one of my favorites)

This is the 2nd new enemy you meet here, a bit more aggressive than the first one, the only interesting thing is that if you encounter one along with a Dung Beetle the Sand Lizard may randomly stop attacking to eat the Dung Beetle (fortunately without regenerating health).

”I don’t have any dung to roll, so I’m not a true dung beetle. I’m so sad. If you ever happen to come across some dung, please bring it to me. I’ll always be here, so please bring me some.”

This fellow here will give you experience for every “Dung” item you give him (Dung Beetles frequently drop these and you can find some in certain places, constantly respawning); an easy way to level up… If it wasn’t for the fact that you’ll only have Salsa for one chapter and little more, and thus it’s not worth of it except to prevent him of dying of one hit. Every time you have one spare Dung the dialogue goes like this:

”…*sigh* Now I’m all upset and confused! Wait, you brought me some dung?! And you’re giving it to me? For free? Oh! This is quite rare, exquisitely-aged dung! (depending of your you’re your item will be a “regular shit”, a “good quality shit”, or even the “legendary dung”, the dialogue will vary slightly and you will receive a bit more of xp (between 5 for the common Dung, 10 for the good quality Dung, and 50 XP for the Legendary Dung”)). Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Yeaaaah! Let’s roll!!! Let’s roll to the ends of the desert! Yeah! If you’re tired, have a drink from this oasis.”

The oasis will restore all of your health, but as a fun detail as more crap you give Wan more and more dirty it will get (but it will still work). In the next area of the desert we loot something cool:

That’s a very “tasty” food item that will restore 120 HP to one character. Unfortunately, Fassad demonstrates his dickiness:

”If you think you’ve earned that Luxury Banana, then you better think again! Gimme that!”

Fassad viciously eats the banana just to be an ass (and you will later see this is one of his obsessions, to compulsively eat bananas, draw your own conclusions about this). I would like to mention that Fassad's name in the Japanese version was "Yokuba", which comes from the Japanese word for "greed". His name in the fan translation comes from the English word "facade" and the Arabic word for "corruption", for if it wasn’t enough obvious for this walking racist stereotype. Not far away from here we meet another new mook:

Only thing of importance is that he may cause the “feeling strange” ailment to Salsa, but Fassad will quickly fix this problem zapping Salsa until he returns to normal (and only for 1 point of damage). When killed he drops the Bug Spray, a battle item that logically hurts greatly bug-like enemies. More random inanities:

The most powerful normal enemy here, the strategy to win is to guard constantly and let Fassad kill him, or use Monkey mimic to defeat it faster (if you have the guts). After a short battle:

”Thanks for saving me when I needed help. Anyways, while we’re at it… Save your game?“

”Some species of frogs, such as “sand frogs”, do exist in arid, desert regions like Africa.During seasons with little to no precipitation, these frogs burrow into the ground to protect themselves from the harsh, dry climate.”

Very interesting but out of place. Soon we arrive to the end of the desert, looting a gift with an Aquarius Bracelet for a defensive boost upgrade, and the first chapter’s miniboss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvssH7jxwao

A chimera? The result when Mother Nature was terminally high one day after a wild party? We’ll never know, but this will not be the weirdest shit you will see in this game, I promise.

A new scenario, with more loot to get and of course some vermin to take care of, like the recycled Aggressive Roaches (you know how a pussy you are if you can’t even beat a cockroach, like it happens with Salsa).

Here’s a map of the zone:

This will make more sense in one minute. In the next room:

”This is a high-tech vehicle known as a Pork Bean. We’re going to take it to an unbelievably uncivilized village called Tazmily. It’d take an incredibly long time to get there on foot, but with this Pork Bean, we’ll get there in the blink of a “Nwehe!”(Fassad fails at grammar)…. You get all that? Use that ladder to get down there!”

”In only a few seconds, it’ll fully revitalize you, just like a good night’s sleep. Under normal circumstances, it’d be wasted on a stupid monkey like you, but I’ll give you special permission to use it for now.”

That was for if you forgot what it did since the first chapter, good thing Mother 3 foresaw the possibility of a casual retard playing this… A shame it will never happen.

Now we access the Pork Bean, that can be driven very easily, with the control pad you control the hovercraft vehicle, touching B one time you’ll use the brakes (and if you click it one more time you’ll get out of the vehicle), and it will insta-kill any enemy it rolls over. It even includes its own theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aE3O-49 ... L&index=28

Our two characters soon arrive at the end of the tunnel, squashing any enemy on their path (I wonder how much time the PigArmy had been in this island, either their servitors are very efficient and fast or the villagers are literally CLUELESS, I suppose the latter).

We cannot get where these gifts are, but we’ll be able to later.

”It makes things all smoky”.
Fuck that, we need to use these for the midboss, next to the sign:

These can divide to form more of their own/replace the fallen and their attacks hurt a lot (and they’re ANOTHER grotesque parody of the slimes (like Earthbound did if I recall correctly) and other identical variations of these clichéd enemies in jrpgs). 3 turns later they’re all dead, so we continue:

”There’s a place there called the Yado Inn, where we can stay the night. That’s where we’re headed now.”

Next step: Return to the Tazmily Village! In the next update though, because there will be tons of dialogue and a bit of EXTREME action at the end, and I wanted to make this one shorter. Be vigilant, be attentive! And please try to occasionally say if you like how this is going if you don't mind.

 

[spekkio]

Keep it up so I don't have to play M3 myself

 

[lightbane]

Update will be later than expected, no more late than next week if possible.

PS: For compensation read these idiotic, inane and retarded reviews that if you checked my Earthbound lp will agree with me that these are bullshit:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/snes/re ... 14821.html Dumbfuck mainstream sheeple detected. Seriously:

[...] is just full of disappointments, and its music is no exception. Before I played the game, I had heard much talk about how good the music in Earthbound was. I shouldn't have listened to them, since as I played the game I realized that the music was mediocre at best. Like the gameplay and story of this game, the music was just far too simplistic for my tastes.

Because there are sooo many games with bizarre and unique music like Mother series... Oh, I understand, it lack over-use of orquestre shit

The graphics in Earthbound are (like the gameplay, story, and music) much too simplistic.

Because graphics are everything true (and Gygas and Magicant disagree).

It felt like playing an NES RPG again. Also, it's worth noting that this game has probably the most annoying character from any video game ever: Pokey Minch.

You missed the point.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/snes/re ... 25107.html More of the same, plus:

Earthbound's battle system is a practical replica of Dragon Warrior's, and that isn't a good thing

As far as I recall there aren't many games using the rolling hp system of Earthbound (and probably there will never be). And more than copying that game is using a similar menu design (hell, even the first Shin Megami Tensei uses something identical).


I searched for some "negative" revies of M3 but the lowest punctuation it had was 6/10, it doesn't have many weak points at all (except never being released outside Japan)
:codexrage:

 

[ghostdog]

I just wanted to post something in this awesome thread.

 

[lightbane]

Update 6: The longest prologue ever existed, final: Even more animal abuse

ITZ time gentlemen! Back where we were, Salsa must travel to the village. Fassad will “encourage” him to go here directly and to not wander around with a powerful argument:

But Fassad lets Salsa to visit Hinawa’s grave for some reason.

”And I’ve never seen him talk with anyone, either…”
At the village’s entrance we meet the fat redneck, Butch:

”What do you think of the wonderful bag I gave you? Is it to your liking?”

”Actually, I was just counting to see how much is in here.”

”Just please be extra careful that it doesn’t get swiped by any thieves.”

”Just having lots of it can get you anything you want!!”

Yeah, until a stroke of bad luck makes you lose everything, and that’s very easy to get corrupted by greed and never being satisfied with what you have… Nevermind, I was getting offtopic, back to the game:

(the same situation that happened at chapter 2 with Garret, but now from Fassad’s point of view, everything else is the same except at the end of the conversation):

”Nwehehehehehe!”

I think Fassad is planning something evil /Captain obvious

"Still...(drops a bag of money on the table)"

”I suppose it could make a good doorstop. Your room is the one in the middle. Please make yourself at home, and have pleasant dreams.”

”Come, little Salsa. Where’s your “thank you?” “

Now at this point Fassad demands Salsa to randomly perform a dance step. If you fail he gets zapped and you will have to repeat.

”Come, little Salsa. Let’s go to our room, shall we?”

The veracity of this statement will be questioned again and again until the end of this chapter.

You cannot leave the inn, for if you wanted to know.

He had, but that dirty Arabian kidnapper has her to blackmail him and shit.

Salsa quickly falls asleep. Later, that night, Fassad wakes up and goes outside; Salsa follows him, wanting to see what the matter is, spotting Fassad talking with someone through a phone/transmitter/whatever the jewtech of the pork-army has:

”Wait until dawn, then storm the place. Everything’s progressing smoothly here. ”

”You saw someone else hanging around the castle? That’s it? You only saw him? Then leave ‘im be. He’s probably just some villager who got drunk and got himself lost. He walks with a limp? I think I might’ve seen him myself… He’s got brown hair, a gloomy feel, slightly bad breath, and looks kind of like a bum? Yeah, don’t worry about him. Yeah, okay. I leave it in your hands. Stay alert!”

Fassad steals the money. As expected, he’s a dirty liar and a greasy thief. Now the control returns to Salsa, and you’re given CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES (Bioware style)!!! In other words, you can try to run away… but the only result will be lots of pain and failure:

”You really think you could run away? You not!”

”…you’re such a stupid monkey!! Don’t make me say it anymore… Go back to the room and sleep! Don’t bother me anymore! What’s with that look…? Laugh! (another dance minigame ensues, if you still fail you’re either retarded or cruel, Fassad will mercilessly zap Salsa and repeat until you do it right) I’m sure there were some more intelligent ways you could have done it. Like trying to disguise yourself, or trying to walk without making any sound (I think even if you try the latter one you still fail)… But I guess monkeys just aren’t intelligent enough for things like that! Nwehehehehe!”

That’s the first choice of action we can do, let’s see what happens if you return to the dorm instead of running away:

Fassad will stand here, watching closely at Salsa for some seconds (and here’s another “choice”, you may move Salsa demonstrating Fassad that the monkey was not asleep, but the consequences are the same as before):

”I guess you didn’t listen to me, did you?! Then it’s punishment time!”

If you don’t touch anything another dialogue triggers, where Fassad makes fun of Salsa. So you see, no matter what you do Fassad abuses the poor monkey here.

Salsa has a dream (or more precise a flashback) of the events of everything that happened to him until now. Next day, during the morning, Fassad shows the Punishizer can be used as an improvised alarm clock:

”Listen. Just keep doing your tricks all happy-like. Prance around all nice and funny to help charm the villagers. Do a good job, and I’ll set you free. I’ll even take you back to that girlie monkey. But if you bore the audience… You’ll get an extra heaping of punishment! Got that?!”

Video time, here!

Okay, if Fassad was not evil enough, he’s planning to enslave that primitive village to the dark side of consumerism and retardation, with one or two religious references and ominous stuff just to boot on his speech full of lies and hypocrisy. Something I should mention is that if you fail on one of the minigames Fassad will torture Salsa and continue talking as if nothing happened. I can understand these villagers don’t know what a taser-like device is, but it’s pretty obvious that Fassad is doing something that causes pain for the monkey, so they’re utterly selfish assholes that care not for blatant animal abuse, so fuck that village. Anyways, you can ask those that disagreed with Fassad for their reasons to do so:

Time to start the delivery… after we talk to everyone for fun and profit (and also to see Tazmily villagers’ absolute zero tolerance and respect to animals):

”Stay back! Stay away from me!”

”It’s really crowded in here.”

”What is this animal called again?”
I would like to know how the townsfolk learned how to read and stuff, there isn’t any school at all (neither kangaroos).

”For some reason, I’m not quite sure what that word means.”

”(After a dance minigame) Oho! What a neat trick! (But that cheapstake SOB doesn’t give you anything for it, unlike the others)”

”Sorry, little monkey. Could you come back some other time?”

Clint is so badass he doesn’t need psychic powers to understand Salsa (that, or it’s a plothole).

”Maybe I should’ve ordered a Happy Box, too.”

It’s ironic that the woman that looks like Porky’s mom in Earthbound is the nicest person of the Triumvirate.

”(moar dance in exchange of stuff) In appreciation for that neat dance, I’ll give you some bread.”

(She doesn’t say anything else, impossible to know if she’s annoyed or surprised at Salsa’s sight)

”I also know that Isaac’s house is at the entrance to the forest…”

Linda is not as stupid as her neighbors, good for her.

These two are very impatient jerks (and apparently they are husband and wife, instead of siblings, I hope).

”Shoo! Shoo! Off with you!”

”Get outta here! Don’t scare the messenger doves! Shoo! Shoo!”

”I gave the answer away!”

”It sort of seems to me like you’re being forced around by a bad guy. I can tell these things.”

Indeed, a shame that you will not move even a finger to change the situation. Some inane stuff by the way:

”Oh, you’re a monkey, but you have a map. For some reason, I’m just itching to mark it. Let me see that for a second. I just marked Abbot’s, Biff’s, and Isaac’s houses for no real reason. Ahh, that feels much better!”

At least he’s helpful unlike half of the town.

Now Salsa must deliver these packages to whoever asked for a Happy Box, starting for Abbot and Abbey.

”Thanks, monkey!”

”I’ll cancel my order then. Sorry to bother you. ”

Hmm, that Happy Box looks like something familiar…

Yes, it’s actually what it looks to be, a TV. So Fassad wants to dumb down the village even more with televisions, brilliant (actually, it’s even worse; you’ll see it in the next chapter). Only one Happy Box remains, that’s the one for Isaac, the sociopath that lives outside of the town.

”*gave the Happy Box to Isaac! You finished delivering Happy Boxes to everyone who wanted one!* Good work. That must’ve been heavy. Give my thanks to Mr. Fassad for his generous gift. I really appreciate it.”

Alright, just don't even say thanks to the poor monkey that moved the Happy Box to your house, despite it being in the middle of a monster-infested forest.

Because he wasn’t a fag enough, Fassad will be devouring bananas constantly until you speak with him (you may check it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIgX5dmF ... &index=25-)

”Listen.”I was planning to give you a Special Banana if you had delivered them all in under 3 minutes, but I guess you don’t really want one. You insolent little monkey! Nwehehehehehe!”

"How long are you gonna stay unconscious?! Stupid monkey! Alright! Let’s hurry to Osohe Castle!”

No matter what you do you’ll always arrive 3 minutes later, but to be fair I doubt Fassad would maintain his word in any case. Time to advance the plot… After speaking with everyone to see if there are changes to their comments.

 

[spekkio]

Moar, soldier!
Also: Sandniggers? In mah jRPG?

 

[lightbane]

”…Wait a minute, monkey! This makes it seem like I’m talking to you! I’m actually talking to the fellow behind you.”

”but I guess it doesn’t make you instantly happy, huh?”

”so much that I wish I could have five or six of my own. But my house is so small and cramped right now that I have to turn you’re your offer. You understand how it is, right?”

Yes, you’re an uber-egoistic bitch.

”I had remembered something I forgot to do.”

”So if you have any more for me, then someone else can have mine.”

Hey, it’s the ex-necromancer! Let’s see if he has something to say:

”Some guys dressed like pigs went in and are up to no good.”

Nope, so we’ll have to enter the castle then and see what happens:

”(The porksmen reply something on “porkish”, but the screenshot was lost in the process) What? You STILL haven’t found it?! Just who are these other intruders? An old man and a guy with a gloomy feel about him?! Wait, you mean HIM?! The guy with brown hair, a gloomy feel, slightly bad breath, and looks kind of like a bum? So, where are they now? What?! They’re headed for the top floor?!”

The porkysoldiers run away immediately, we should investigate the castle and speak with each one of them for some funny comments.

”I’m currently thinking about how to dispose of this bronze statue! I’m putting my life on the line to get it done!”

*facepalm*

”So I’ve decided to stare right back at her. I’m staring back with all my might.”

*double facepalm* Okay, so it seems the mooks are not chosen precisely by their intelligence…Also, I have not forgotten to post the music, assume that unless I post new music the game is recycling songs.

”Even though I’m super-skilled, they clearly had the upper hand, but I managed to destroy ‘em when I unleashed my special Spicy Knuckle Attack… That bum-looking guy and his cohort beat me senseless, though…”

”but it still hasn’t turned up! … Hold on, pipsqueak monkey. I’m not talking to you.”

”We’ve used the power of science to stick ‘em all in the back room for now.”

The power of science you say? You mean something like this?

”Only now do I realize that thieves are truly a force to be reckoned with!”

Garret approves.

”Alright, monkey! Let’s look elsewhere!”

”Nevermind I’m a ghost”

”Is the person behind you one of these spirits that follow you wherever you go?”

I think the ghost what tried to do is a play on words with “sprites”, or perhaps I’m overanalyzing it. As soon as Salsa leaves the kitchen, Fassad receives a necessary call to continue the plot and the game:

”What?! They fled into the basement?! They have it with them?! Alright! Got it! Hey, monkey! We’re heading into the basement now! There should be an entrance to the basement somewhere inside this castle. Find it!”

You have to return to the door in chapter 2 that you couldn’t open as Garret. It would be better if I post a video about it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liXDppeyBR0

Fassad is sure a ball-less asshole, abusing so much of a defenseless little animal (also, apparently one of his actions on battle is activating the Punishizer to damage Salsa for 10 points of damage for no real reason, but it never happened on my playthrough). Next room has a ghost frog, and of course more treasure to loot and some new enemies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl-qBPWgw30
The Cheery skeleton, it looks are deceiving, it’s very strong for this chapter, but with an awesome song (the title may refer to their dry-like appearance).

MUCH more aggressive than the Older Bro, in fact, if you don’t have healing items or it will crush Salsa to pieces in a few seconds (and just wait for the Bro Team, that’s really inane).

Intelligence: It seems we’ll return here later. You know the rest, we loot everything that not’s nailed down and stuffies, and search for something that stands out, like this:

”Monkey, pull this lever! (For a change, I choose GTFO/NO) Still haven’t had enough punishment, eh?! Monkey see as monkey do! Monkey do as monkey told! … Or monkey zap! (An electroshock later) I’ll say it again. Pull this lever. Have I made myself clear?”

”They escaped with the item?! After them! After them! After them! GO AFTER THEM! (yes, Fassad yells 4 times that line until the pig soldiers had enough of EXTREME treatment, but…) No, wait. They’re inside. Corner them, is what I said! Contact me the instant you find them! (the soldiers leave) Bah! There’s not a single useful person here! Let’s return to the Yado Inn for now!”

For once I agree with the stereotypical Arabian, let’s backtrack until the team is outside of the castle:

Lol, there’s just one thing that can describe the situation:

”Fall back!”

”I don’t give a damn about any of that! BOTH of you get out of my way, now!!”

The soldiers obey and comply in record time.

(Fassad IS ANGRY!!! FASSAD SMASH!!)

And the mooks leave. When we return to the village, a familiar scene is played (the end of the 2nd chapter, when the redneck blames Garret of stealing his money, I’ll skip it directly to the end of it):

”I simply can’t believe that someone would steal the money I so humbly gave you! … Perhaps it’s true, then… Perhaps this village really is starting to become cursed… We can’t allow Tazmily Village to become a dismal hive for evildoers to run amok. We must all seek happiness… or this village will be in grave danger!”

As Fassad is busy scaring the shit out of the villagers to pressure them to obtain more Happy Boxes, Salsa approaches Asuka, she somehow uses telepathy/an empathy power to learn something Salsa said:

”Come, now. I’ll give you lots and lots of Luxury Bananas later, so let us return to the Yado Inn. Okay little Salsa?”

(Salsa is zapped offscreen)

”If you ever disobey me or try any funny business in the slightest, I’ll make you’re your beloved girlie monkey winds up in some serious trouble. Remember that! Now go to sleep!”

Salsa silently cries before falling to sleep, exhausted. Later, that night:

If you try to sneak away from the room, this happens:

And Salsa is zapped, you have to walk near the window.

”That cheap bastard’s asleep. Hurry here!”

”but you must ’ve had your reasons, I guess. Poor li’l thing.”

”Now let’s go find that lazy moron – I mean, Garret – and that egg he has with him. I know he’s all right; morons like him never get sick or hurt, no matter where they go or what they do.”

”But first, let’s free this monkey. Geezer. Go steal that zapper gizmo while that lyin’ freak’s still asleep.”

”I’ll be right back.”

For some reason Salsa is shocked. Fassad discovered them?

”I accidentally bumped it on the way back. Did it zap you? Sorry ‘bout that.”

Salsa charges and crushes the device with all of his might!

”You’re free.”

Unfortunately he can’t, Salsa makes a sad face because…

”What is it? Oh, your girldfriend’s been kidnapped…? Or “monkeynapped”, I should say? Damn that cheap bastard! He’s screwed up!”

Instead of quickly pursuing the trio, Fassad stops a moment to eat a banana because he can.

Damn, and the forest is filled with monsters… But Isaac lived here, will he help us?

Typical of that bastard, somehow he’ll one of the worst jerks you ever seen in videogames even when he is not here physically.

Time for a boss battle (and the end of the chapter), here!

Take notes, Gaydar, if you want to say something “deep” about darkness and light, say “the deeper the darkness, the brighter the sunrise at dawn”, because your own attempt is retarded, absolute darkness allows no light to exist. Well, you have it, Lucas had enough of this shit and decided to man up. The possible reasons? Choose one:

A: He realized his bro and his mom would never forgive him if he wasted his life angsting and allowed bad stuff to happen (specifically when the enemy is a stereotypical greedy Arabian obsessed with bananas and animal abuse and an army of retarded nazi-like soldiers).
B: He understood that he wouldn’t survive if he continued to be as introverted as he was (even more with the townsfolk’s indirect hostility against everything and everyone (especially when these seemed to completely forget about Hinawa’s death despite having passed only 2 days), and saw that if he did not intervene the situation would only get worse.
C: He’s still sad but is sucking it up and secretely seeking for a deathwish.
D: He completely lost it and is just following the flow.
Because this is Earthbound I suppose all of the above happens at once, somehow. In any case, more in the next update!


PS: As an extra, this is what happens when you use Monkey Mimic with the Nazi-esque tank.

More madness and inanity on the next update!

 

[spekkio]

This LP is sponsored by:

 

[lightbane]

Actually, there's a literal mindfuck scene like this in the game (with mushrooms and weirder shit) but much later, and even more inane and creepy.

 

[lightbane]

Sorry but the LP will suffer a premature end, internet virus destroyed most of my pc's files and that includes the Mother 3's ROM. So Tazmily Village was nuked and everyone died.

 

[lightbane]

Update soon! The reason for my previous post? This:

I know it was painfully obvious but the temptation was strong. Anyways, a quick question: Which image would you like to be shown at the 1st page of my lp? This one?

Or this other one?

I used the former because it was misleading, implying to anyone that doesn't know about the series that this was a "fun and happy loving" game (and it isn't exactly like that, it's darker and more mature than any grimdark recent shit), but if you prefer a more animesque approach there's the latter
pic. Which is better and why, gentlemen?

 

[ghostdog]

oh you

 

[Cenobyte]

Hahaha, extremely lulzy boss fight. I'm currently quite drunken and the fight is just made for a situation like this. Everything works together, the ridiculous music, the completely hilarious combat and the epic final.... lol...

And I'd strongly encourage the use of picture 1. It's so much more hilarious and funny

 

[lightbane]

IT's long so I'll divide it in 2 posts

Update 7: Next-gen Tazmily Village (it’s good for what it is)

Ok, let’s get going. To start, a video with the chapter’s beginning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phPiQh4aMTk
Because now Lucas has completely established himself as the main character, he deserves a custom portrait, like this one:

Ugh, that’s how Lucas looks on Smash Bros, as I commented before what looks good in 2D should stay in 2D (or at least use Cell-shading like the 1st “Next gen” Prince of Persia or Zone of the Enders 2, FFS Nintendo). As I told you on the 1st update, this is when the game really begins, let’s start messing with Lucas’ stuff.

To be fair Claus and Lucas by now wouldn’t feel comfortable with a single bed; I don’t know about twins but regular siblings (especially those of opposite sex), no matter how kind they are of each other will demand their own room when they’re 11 years old (no more than 12), I can testify for it.

”are stored in here with care.”

But Clint is nowhere to be seen, meaning… No-one can stop us now of hiking around on pijamas!

Fuck, even the dead will railroad us, meh. What you have to do is come near the mirror, and a flashback will show that Hinawa used to brush Lucas’ hair.

Time to get out of this depressing house and see how has the village adapted to the porkarmy’s heresy-jewtech, jumping from a pre-industrial society to a contemporary one is nothing to sneeze at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BBGfJX236A

Wisdom: It looks like a lightning struck Lucas’ house, but fortunately no-one important was harmed. Also, from this point until the end of the game Ghostdog will be part of the party.

”I realize this might be a bit of bother, but please come talk to me. (We do). From this day forth, you’ll be rewarded for your hard work. It’ll be given in units called DP (Dragon Power). You can use DP in shops and other places in exchange of goods and services. It seems you’ve already earned 30 DP so far. You can save and withdraw DP anytime by talking to nearby frogs. Some frogs in special locations can’t conduct DP transactions, though. Alright then. Let’s try it out. Time certainly flies, doesn’t it? Do you need something? Do you need to save your game? Or perhaps transfer DP?”

Now most frogs will be able to be used as the ATM machines on Mother 2 (except in certain specific points), with an upgraded and easier to use transfer/withdraw system (you use the control pad to add/withdraw money to your wallet, the pics show how it works). Like in Mother 2, your “account” will receive more money as you defeat enemies, but you can’t use it until you extract the money from a “frog dispenser”. It’s not explained who gives the frogs money with each kill (or even where do they save it, but if you remember these frogs were the Magypsies’ messengers, it’s better the less we know about these “entities”), and the money is called Dragon Power because I assume Itoi was fond of Breath of Fire series. You can also see at any time how much money you have at the menu (and unlike Mother 2 the money you obtain is much more balanced, you will not be flooded with fucktons of “bling” like in Earthbound, sometimes you’ll have to scavenge to buy the fun stuff of certain shops).

Comparing the stats of Lucas and Ghostdog, you can see that Lucas, like most anime kid characters (except in Berserk and seinen) is tougher than he looks, he focuses on offense, IQ and Defense (as he levels up). As weapon of choice, Lucas focuses on sticks; although practically ALL jrpg’s main characters use either wooden sticks/swords as the first weapons they got (especially if they’re males), to be different from the rest Lucas will use a variety of different sticks and nothing else (even the usual mage type characters eventually swap to fancy staves, not with Lucas, his weapons are not as impressive, and he feels he does not need to compensate for anything). Moving on, Lucas decides to interview a random guy:

”It was definitively worth coming all the way here to see!”

”This is the only part of Tazmily that hasn’t changed a bit in the past three years.”

Notice how the game differentiates these random npcs from the named ones, these use regular sprites that are recycled unlike the rest of the village’s inhabitants, to demonstrate that the Porkarmy brought these "foreigners".

”Offering fascinating big-city items faster and in greater quantities than anyone else! (Things are different now. Don’t forget to bring DP.)”

Due the new status as an uber-consumer city that Tazmily Village is now, all shops use money (to compensate the stores will never run out of stuff to sell).

”Huh? What? Am I talking about myself? No, of course not. I’m talking about Tazmily.”

We’ll start exploring each house of the village; almost all of them have been renewed.

Each building has a Happy Box that’s always turned on. Suspicious…

”Would you like to buy something?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ8djJidEUc

The trade system is nothing special, you select what do you want to do (Buy or Sell), and which character (remember that unlike most jrpgs the party has individual inventories). I do not remember if this store updates with new stuff as the game progresses, but for now it offers some ailment-healing items, the Kid’s Shirt (gear for Lucas), Kid’s Hat (Headgear for Lucas too), Pisces Bracelet (the same), and the offensive item Sprinting Bomb. We’re too poor to buy anything at the moment, plus we can loot a Pisces Bracelet later and the Sprinting Bombs are too common and not worth to buy, so we’ll come back later.

The Yado Inn has been modernized as well, but you cannot rent a room to pass the night like standard rpgs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1Bw4G8b4jU&feature=related

”He seems a little bum-like, but apparently he’s a really good performer.”

Hmm, could it be Garret? We need more clues.

”since Mr. Fassad came to town.”

”No, no. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I think that’s actually a very important thing to do.”

A metajoke on rpgs (at least until today, for ff13 they didn’t even bother to make talkative npcs and for some reason this is considered a jrpg (perhaps they were inspired by Oblivion, the doom of rpg industry)).

”Mr. Fassad bought up all the land there.”

“Bought” meaning several degrees of direct and indirect violence, I suspect.

These Trivia Cards are special items that must be used on battle against a human enemy (namely Pigmasks), more information later.

”Please talk in whispered voices when conducting meetings. Thank you.”

”1. Because I was enamoring. 2. So you could flirt with me. 3 Because you like me. 4. Other. Which is it?”

”Huh, I…”

Lol, this woman wastes no time and goes directly to the point. If you talk again to her:
Woman: “I’ve decided to call you ‘Other’. You’re so boring!”

Bad luck, Lucas. Let’s continue exploring:

Voice 1: “(*whisper**whisper*) Just anything but that pasta.
Voice 2: Croque rolls are fine with me.
V1: No, actually, that’s what I’d prefer. But should we keep going until we find a good place to stop?
V2: No, it’d actually be more efficient to just take a quick five-minute break.
V1: Eek, exclamation mark. New line. What a lovely person, space. Wait, are you sure we need a new line there?
V2: I dunno. I think it would be better that way.
V1: You bought too many rice balls. Were you hungry or something? If there are any extra rice balls left over, could I have ‘em?
V2: How long are we going to keep this?
V1: There’s no set time or anything. We can stop whenever you’re tired. I take you’re tired too, though?
V2: It’s strange. Why is this so tiring? All we do is sit here really. This is no time to be trying so hard to get these lines edited just right.
V1: Yeah. Let’s stop for now.
V2: Yeah.”

I have my reasons to confirm that strange dialogue is an “easter egg” from Itoi himself.

”It’s ‘cause my back pocket’s filled with money I earned at the factory.”

”It’ll be like ¨’old man on the beach’ and all that! Hohoho!”

”but I can’t take my eyes off this Happy Box. *sniffle*”

Just to point it out, apparently Happy Boxes are nothing more than glorified shiny screensavers (like BLOOM, lol), and yet the townsfolk are dazed by it (allowing these to be manipulated at will), and the game was launched at Japan merely some months away from Oblivion (and the start of the Decline). Either that’s incredible coincidence or Itoi is a genius.

The triumvirate of witches is here listening to Fassad’s incessant lies:

”It’s almost like he’s a magician. *giggle*”

”Do you still feel pain where the Drago bit you? Are you still butthurt about it? Bah, he’s ignoring me.”

About the Dragos, you will not see more of them for the rest of the game. Unless they all have epic levels on ninja skills and were able to hide behind rocks, my theory is that Fassad orchestrated a complete extermination campaign, wiping out the entire Dragos' race except for some specimens for vivisection and chimerarization (as a basis I'll say that one of the scrapped/unused bosses of the game is a heavily modified Chimera-drago that has one attack where it explains its disgraced past, causing one random party member to cry, I assume that could be the original Mecha-Drago of Chapter 1 forcibly revived thanks to the pork-army foul heretech, plus you can find one frozen Drago later ingame; of course no-one of the village noticed/cared).

”A Happy Box could really change your life, you know.”

So that he’s dumbfucked and doesn't see that everything he knows is raped and poorly replaced? Better not.

”I hear your dad’s STILL hiking up in the mountains, looking for Claus. You should really tell him yourself that it’s about time he give up already.”

Mmmh, that’s important to know.

”But that’s what he gets for not having a Happy Box…”

Intelligence: So if you don’t have a Happy Box your house is struck by lightning, just like Fassad “predicted”. Unfortunately everyone here was easily seduced by the Porkarmy’s contraptions and heretech and those who not are ignored.

”Our humble little shop, ‘Caroline’s Bakery’, has also adopted the wonderful, new DP system!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ZxTFnI ... re=related

”Fuel’s been helping out around the store lately. He’s a real life-saver. Oh, are you here to buy something? What I can get you?”

This shop sells food. Unfortunately food items are so common (and later non-essential when you have healing powers) that it’s not worth of buying more than one Peculiar Cheese and little more. Despite Fuel’s relevance to the plot is mostly zero there are still fanclubs about him.¿¿??? Nevermind. Let’s continue exploring:

A shame but unlike Ness Lucas cannot search the trashcans for items.

”so I’m thinking of buying a Happy Massage Chair next. Don’t you think it’s about time you at least put a Happy Box in your home already?”

"Are you so envious of my own happines that you came to see it for yourself?"

“I can see some citizens indeed changed, to the worse”.

You have not seen anything, just watch.

”I wish she’d take care of me too…”

Although Itoi “oficially” stated that Happy Boxes are not TVs, the similarities are obvious (they’re in fact “bloomy” screensavers, as I commented). Let’s continue exploring the rest of the “new town”, now the left side, the town’s coast:

”Punishment falls upon the homes of all bad guys!”

”Shoo, kid! Shoo! Get!”

Once more, no-one but the victims and Lucas (and Wess), finds nothing suspicious at all.

These items are mostly useless, they can be sold for some money and they regenerate every time you exit this screen, but you can obtain more money by fighting random monsters than for collecting these things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJwMuSU5lqk
Of course, new gifts appeared to be looted, and some gifts like this one are rather unusual for no particular reason.

”(It appears to be an old concert poster put up by someone. But… who?)”

Wow, these policemen were surely recycled from Oblivion hivemind guards/Betestapho forums’ moderators (or the moderators were recycled from these policemen).

”This isn’t fair… Huh? Where’s the doorknob now? How should I know?! Maybe it was sent to the forensics lab or something?”

That doorknob will be “found” at several instances as the game progresses, for example apparently I missed that Salsa can find the doorknob near the castle when you were heading there with Fassad.

”So now I have to stand here like this to hold it shut.”

And in 3 long years you have not thought of replacing the lock, retard?

Yeah, you just lost your freedom. There are lots of threads on several forums of if Mother 3 criticizes capitalism, but that’s bullshit because you know that’s not the game’s point, science is not evil by itself, most of Tazmily’s villagers look as happy as before (despite being manipulated and being self-centered morons that care not for anything but themselces, but these are “technicalities”)

”You must really think you’re someone special. Seriously, you don’t even work. Even kids are working at the factory nowadays, you know.”

“Yeah, because there is totally nothing wrong at all with child labor, yeah.”

At the beach there are some new signposts:

”Please call me anytime.”
Desperate men hoping to get laid? Perhaps.

”Got that? Yes or no? (If you say no) Take care, and byee! (Let’s say yes… WARNING WALL OF TEXT AHEAD!) Are you really sure? Everyone hates me, you know. They all say I talk too much and never shut up. Are you sure you don’t wanna turn back now? Do you know what a trumpet is? I was actually thinking about learning how to play the trumpet… but I didn’t. It’s not that I was bad at it or anything. That’s just how it was destined to be. Do you know what destiny is? Destiny. If you do, then that’s cool. My destiny just didn’t cross the destiny of trumpets. That’s all. But thanks to my not taking up the trumpet, I can use the time I would’ve spent practicing it on other things. That’s one way of looking at it. It’s not like I’m doing something wrong here. Yeah. I’ll start something else, and who knows, maybe that’ll turn out well. Like maybe I could start practicing the yanopi… Do you know what a yanopi is? It’s the proper term for a piano. What if I start practicing the yanopi now and wind up being the greatest yanopist ever, charming the hearts of men the world over? If that happens, it’d mean I was right about everything, wouldn’t it? My fate still hasn’t kissed the yanopis’ fate at a crosswalk just yet, but nobody knows what the future holds. Not even mole crickets, water striders or horned owls. Hey, you. Smile. Yes. You have a really cute smile, you know that? So, anyways, basically… (several hours later)”

Unfortunately this will not pass from this point; Lucas will not get laid with any chick for the rest of the game (even less with Nana, lots of talking and no action).

”Aw, what a shame.”

”Please call me anytime.”

”…but they just won’t leave. I wonder what their deal is.”

Translation: I find the lack of sex disturbing. Prudish idiots.

”I can forget about all the bad things in life…”
Nothing more of interest on this side, so let’s explore the other one.

”I can talk about non-map stuff too, you know. Old man Wess is definitively going to go bald. Yes, there’s no doubt about it. Bald. Definitively.”

”’Cause I just did, anyway…”

Definitively this fucker, the Mayor Pusher cannot get more jewish greedy.

”Your house certainly enjoys being struck by lightning, I must say! Do you STILL intend to live in it, after all the fires and scorching and whatnot? I must admit, it’s a real downer on Tazmily Village’s image. Oh, yes, you’re your maternal grandfather has moved into the new and shiny retirement home. Where is it? … Across the way, that-a-way.”

I forgot to comment that for 3 years Lucas had been stubbornly living on his house despite the constant lighting strikes, and the fear of one day waking up with a piece of a burning beam piercing his stomach, followed by a horrible, agonizing death. That raises his badassery and manliness’ factor a 50% more.

”Don’t bother Mr Fassad and the others too much, now. What a rebellious look!”
Shut up crone.

FAIL (and why he bothers, it’s a miracle everyone of this town can read, they don’t seem to even have a school or interest to read at all).

”You don’t look like it to me, though.”

“What was his name again? Beanstalk? Anyways, he was actually so tall he didn’t stand out or seem out of place at all. I haven’t seen him, lately, though…”

“Leder was like 5m meters tall and yet no-one noticed him leaving? You don’t need competent armies when sheeple is so submissive. Hey, that explains the Pigmen’s lack of competence.”

“Message 1: I saw we remodel the old ruins of Osohe Castle and turn it into a Tazmily resort facility (Anonymous)
Message 2: If you wanna ride the train, go to the station! You can ride the train if you go to the station! Along speeds the train! Let’s go-go-go to the factory on the train! (Train Station Attendant)
Message 3: Is the lightning helping us? Thanks to the lightning, all the dirty, old houses are being cleaned away. So, in a way, the lightning is helping all of us. That’s what I think. (From a popular citizen)
Message 4: Happy Boxes are the greatest! Now to develop even bigger screens! (Abbot and Abbey)
Message 5: I want too bee a Pigmask too. How can I bee wun? I no I can bee a gud wun. Pleese let me bee a Pigmask. Also, I thought Omelets is good. Well, goodbye. (Fried Pork Kid)
Message 6: After a hard day’s work, there’s only one thing to do: spend every last DP you own at Club Titiboo! And other stuff, too! Come see the DMC in concert, live! (Club Titiboo)
Message 7: I have sand on my shoes, and I don’t know what to do. Somebody do something! (Nana)
Message 8: Why not consider working at the retirement home? Veterans of life are waiting for your kindness. But please stop quitting one after the other (Retirement home director)
Message 9: Who in the world IS Leder? Try as hard as I might, I just can’t remember anything about him. It’s keeping me up at night. (Mike)
Message 10: We’ve been slowly running out of friends at the castle lately. People of Tazmily, please pass away at a faster pace, if you would be so kind. Thanks. (Anonymous Ghost)
Message 11: Notice. Scamp has died. That is all. (Staff).
Message 12: Select, cheerful police officers wanted. Start a new career as an officer of the Tazmily Police force! Do well, and you could even make some Pigmask friends! (Pusher, Tazmily Police Dept.)
Message 13: Watch out for Chimeras. Strange animals known as Chimeras seem to be increasing in number lately. They are dangerous. Be careful of them. (from a brave person).
Message 14: Show courtesy to Mr. Fassad. There are many ignorant people who complain about him. I think that is a very bad thing to do. ‘Tazmily is nothing without Mr. Fassad.’ Please take this to heart (Isaac)
Message 15: ‘Titiboo News’ DCMC to debut a new song soon?! Desperado! (Reckless!) Crash! (Powerful!) Mambo! (Sensational!) Combo! (Guys!) No one can stop the DCMC’s momentum now!”

It’s good to see the villagers have strong virtues and morals, in fact, I wonder what did Lucas do during these 3 long years, surrounded by these hostile idiots.

“Surely repairing his house every time it was damaged, and probably experimenting with a Zen meditation shit or something to repress himself to murder the entire village on a bloody rampage. Apathetic citizens my ass; seriously, if these so called heroes of other games had to live with these self-centered jerks they would say GTFO and let them die, myself included.”

”Not exactly, I maintained my sanity these days by writing what happened everyday on our Notebook, for when Claus returns!”

I’m sorry, but you know that Claus is dead, he’ll not return…

”LIES! He’s not dead yet! I saw him! The little green man told me! He appeared shortly after Mom’s death. He tells me things about Claus and in exchange he asks me to burn things…”

… Let’s pretend this conversation never happened and continue the game.

”If you have anything you don’t need or don’t want to carry around, I’ll gladly hold on to it for you for free! I’ll take great care of any items you give me, and I’ll return them to you immediately whenever you want them back! Can I hold something for you?”

”so if you ever need anything, just let me know anytime! The gods are watching over you guys. You’re incredible. You’re amazing. Seriously, you’re a real inspiration. We’re right behind you, supporting you 100%, from the sidelines.”

It works more or less exactly like the shop system. Because there aren’t phones on Mother 3 the Item guy replaces the Escargo Express (he’ll be always in every new area, no matter how inaccessible/dangerous it is for the common man), and Lucas wouldn’t use a phone anyways.

“At least he’s not stalked by a creepy photographer. Why you say Lucas wouldn’t use a phone? “

Who would he call? His dead mom? His missing brother (and father)?

“Point taken.”

”but are you the ones who stock up on food and then walk around without ever eating it? You really do need to eat, you know. You’re still young.”

Another metajoke, this time referring to the rpgs’ characters carrying lots of stuff that even themselves don’t know if it would be useful for them (fortunately games like ME2 solve this dilemma by completely removing the inventory, a good choice for the average braindead console kiddo player, I wonder what will happen in ME3, the dialogue scenes will be streamlined for renegade only options?).

”Aside from the fact we don’t have a boat, everything is going great. Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaYMIhfWsFI
Okay, if there were still some doubts of the Pork army that definitively states them as just plain mean and evil.

”We play games like ‘’Pin the Tail on the Leak’, ’Hide’n Go sweep’, and the ‘Hokey Pokey’.”

”Your grandfather is upstairs, in the room on the far left.”

”Today’s Headline: Straw? No, Too Stupid a Fad – I Put Soot on Warts.”

Mother 3, one of the few games supportive of old people /sarcasm (hell, even the doors look like they were recycled from a prison).

”Lightning hit my mountain cabin a million times, making it impossible to live in anymore. I know it’s hard to imagine the lightning was trying to hit my house specifically… But come on! One million times??”

Alec suspects something but his brain is too slow to notice.

 

[lightbane]

now with extra buttsecks and madness

”What is he trying to do to this village?”

Considering he pretty much had to sew up his own clothes that’s a compliment.

”(Let’s lie and say yes just because) Oh, okay. I was feeling lonely, since my grandkids never come to see me. But since you were nice enough to come to see me, I’ll give you a little spending money. It’s not much, but here you go. Keep it a secret from my grandkids, though. (Received 50 DP) I can’t keep burdening Lisa forever, but I do have a Happy Box and nice-bodies girls like Nan and Linda here to keep me company, so I’m pretty happy in my own way. Nyahahahaha!”

Mike is perhaps 40? 50-something? And yet he had been dumped here (actually it's a cunning plan, the elders were the ones that would oppose more than anyone else the new system, so the Porkarmy decided to label them as demented, old men that would be better if locked away, and locked away they were) … Anyways, the rest of the village waits:

”Did someone find out I peed on that Happy Box or something?)”

”It’s almost been half a year since ol’ Scamp passed away. I get the feeling it’s rare for scamps like him to be so easily forgotten. So, in that sense, he’s a great scamp.”

Nice, considering it’s a small community of less than 60 individuals I thought they would care a little for their fellows.

“You forgot Hinawa: Less than a day and she’s already forgotten. And now they’re too busy with BLOOM… I mean the Happy Boxes to care for what happens at the world around them”.

Time to visit the training camp for some lulz.

"You look like you’re tryn’ to screw up our formation or somethin’.”

”Then you gotta go eat lots and lots until you’re nice and big first.”

”Saying things such as this may make me seem a tad rude and unsociable, and it’s for that very reason that I do not prefer to say it aloud, but if absolutely forced to say what I want to say, I would say… Get out of the damn way!”

”Here, I’ll give you a riddle to solve, so you can go think about it somewhere lse. Alright, here’s the riddle. Jack had a parakeet named Enza. Jack got sick, and his parakeet went missing. He was about to give up on life, but then in flew Enza. Now then. What illness did Jack have? Remember, he was about to give up on life, and then “in flew Enza”. The answer will come at a later time! Now get out of here.”

Enough blabber for now, we need to see a cutscene to advance the plot:

”No one’s seen hide nor hair of Garret since he disappeared 3 years ago. It’s gotta be him.”

”Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing. There’s this concert hall named Club Titiboo past the factory, and the bass player there looks kinda like Garret. Jackie is convinced he’s Garret.”

”but we’d only wind up disappointing Wess if it turns out we’re wrong. The guy we saw just happens to look a lot like Garret. We don’t know any more than that. Period. Anyways, time to head home and have some chow while I watch the Happy Box.”

Yes, don’t try to for example just talk to that fellow to check if he’s really Garret, less you’re hurt for trying, lazy bastard.

We cannot go to the factory then. However, let’s imagine for a moment that Shinji Ikari the Emogod possessed Lucas and forced him to commit suicide:

OH FUCK!! IT’S HIM!!! MR T IS BACK!!!

”I dunno you’re your story is, but you’re still young! Don’t just throw you’re your life! Okay?! Alright then. Now that you understand, go on! And just forget about me. See ya.”

The dialogue is longer, here’s a video with it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4G6teylf_s
Only the forest and the cemetery remains, first the cemetery:

”Apparently, lightning struck his house 14 times over the course of 3 years.”

And again no-one notices (or just plain don’t care).

”Your old man’s always visiting Hinawa’s grave.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uINJDrO6TcY
In a rather morbid way Clint disappears after this cutscene for pretty much the rest of the game. I think he’s in serious denial, seriously, this island is not that big and 3 years is more than enough to cover every meter of the mountains, poor bastard.

"For some reason I imagine his “investigation” would be something like this:"

”Have you seen my son? He’s a ten years old boy.”

Random vulture: “Yes, I saw him. He was DELICIOUS… like 3 years ago, I still conserve his femur if you’re interested.”

Pretty much. Now the forest:

”This lightning somehow doesn’t seem natural. That said, I can’t imagine there being such a thing as artificial lightning…”

When there is super-precise, constant lighting during daytime you should consider this a rather solid possibility.

”Did you even realize that? Though the person who placed this sign here is really the one to blame. Oh, wait, that’s me. Sorry ‘bout that. Please throw your empty cans into the trash bin.”
Lol, some more inanity before entering the forest:

The forest had been revamped with new stuff and new monsters; the pigmen had lots of time to experiment and create wacky chimeras (probably the most inane enemies you’ll ever see, and these are nothing compared with what the game has), like:

The Slitherhen, a basic chimera but dangerous at this point (Lucas is very weak on his first levels, like Ness in Earthbound).

Nevermind the animals are bloodthirsty and attack without provocation.

Now that we are here let’s see how does is old acquaintance, Isaac, feels:

”When you think about it, the forest sure was boring until 3 years ago.”

Yes, because the forest had peaceful creatures that turned to be very savage when excited/scared (now replaced by abominations that scream to be killed to end their misery), and a “previously ordinary Drago turned into a murderbeast” killed Lucas’ Mom, for not saying Lucas is just standing here. And Isaac will only get worse, if you’re wondering.

During our battles to grind some money we obtained a Fresh Egg. It works just like in Earthbound: after a while the egg will crack and a Chick will be born, eventually turning into a Chicken that can be sold for 200 DP (with the addition that if you use a Hot Spring with a Fresh Egg in your inventory it will become a Hot Spring Egg, that heals you for 100 hp and never degrades). Now, even more inane chimeras:

Not much of a threat, but powerful enough to kill Ghostdog in 3 strikes.

That’s a new static enemy, the deadly Grated Yammonster:

Doesn’t seem to be nothing threatening until you realize you can’t hurt him for more than 1 point of damage and it retaliates with PK Freeze Beta, damaging one character for like 80 damage points. That’s the game’s subtle way to tell you that you shouldn’t be here yet.

Lighter had spent the past 3 years rebuilding his house (and apparently Fuel decided that it was ok to tell his father to GTFO, don't mind the murderous beasts).

”Is he visiting her grave again?”

”(This house I’m secretly living in got blasted by lightning.)”

And that confirms the theory that Happy Boxes are a way of monitoring the population.

Another powerful enemy, it hits you for like 80 damage points, and can use Lifeup Beta to heal itself, impossible to kill for now.

We gained enough levels (Lucas and Ghostdog are both lvl 13), and money to buy new gear at the shop, so the party returns to the village, triggering a cutscene:

”Quit ruining this town any more than you already have! There’s something not right about all this lightning, especially today’s! I think you guys are behind it somehow! Leave this instant Keep your grubby hands out of this town’s affairs!”

”You know, if you keep making the veins on your forehead pop out like that, happiness will only escape you. By which I you’re your hair, in this case.”

”Don’t get in my way!”

”I really wish you would put a Happy Box in your home already, so you can be happy just like everyone else here. I’m always hoping for that day.”

”Even after Mr. Fassad spoke to him in such a friendly way…”
This fits my thoughts perfectly:

Shale: Hmph. Perhaps there are definitions of "blind" I have yet to understand.

Incredible! At lest one cares for something on this wretched village!

”for an old man to watch the town he grew up in change more and more. But that wasn’t being very considerate of Mr. Fassad at all. In my opinion, old people should just stay inside the old folks’ home and drink tea and do whatever it is old people do.”

It was too nice to be true (and just wait when you’re old, bitch, you’ll see how much fun you will have, assuming you’re still alive by then). As I said before I revisit the shop to sell stuff and buy the new gear, then ask Jackie for information.

”Whenever you visit, our reputation gets worse… Huh? Club Titiboo? Oh well, my advice is that you head to the factory and ask around here. N-Now could you please go away?”

Even Jackie had declined.

”I wish they would lock that old geezer up somewhere and just be done with it.”

”There is no way an uproar would ever happen here. But, even if by chance something uproar-like did happen… it wouldn’t be my fault. Understood, Lucas? Well, do you?”

The Mayor continues to be as responsible as ever. We should visit Wess, he deserves some attention and we have some possible news about Garret’s status.

”I was dozing off just now when that really tall fellow at Cross Road appeared in my dream. Do you remember him, Lucas? I wonder what ever happened to him. Where is he now?”

”But curse that Fassad, treating me like a bug! … Like a stag beetle!... What? A guy who looks just like Garret? Could that moron still be…? Lucas!! I’ll now lower my voice and talk to you in a whisper! I hate to ask, but could you go and see if this look-alike really is my moron or not? Fassad’s cronies are on the lookout for me, so I can’t go anywhere or do anything. Please, go find that moron for me. If you do find Garret, send this pigeon to let me know.”

Okay, but the train is not here. What we could do?

”But the conductor’s out on the town, so I don’t think the train’ll be coming back today. If you REALLY want to go to the factory, then I suggest walking along the train tracks. Don’t tell anyone I said that, though.”
There is totally nothing wrong with it. Anyways, let’s proceed… With Mr T’s permission, who as you saw hates emos with a passion:

”I dunno what reasons you got, but it looks like you wanna go through this tunnel, right? I know you won’t listen to me if I try and stop you, so here, I’ll give you this instead. (Got a Railway Map) Do you know what the most frightening things inside the tunnel are? Nope, they’re not Slitherhens or Muttshrooms or anything like that. The answer is… trains. Trains are the most dangerous things of all in there. So be very careful not to get hit by any.”

This is the map. The train tunnel is basically a sort of one-way-only dungeon, complete with new music, stuff to loot and bloodthirsty chimeras:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cov46Yz ... re=related

The first new enemy here is one already seen on Mother 2:

Not very dangerous but they can still make a party member “feel strange” (the mushroomized ailment has been replaced, fuckers).They drop an Edible Mushroom (don’t ask), a crappy food item. More new enemies as we advance, this one is a static foe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl-qBPWg ... re=related
Can use PSI and call reinforcements, so it’s more threatening than the average foe here. Eventually we run into a Hot Spring, and Ghostdog notices something:

Oh dear, that doesn’t sound very good, let’s hope it’s not what I’m fearing…

Okay, prepare yourselves gentlemen, shit is going to hit the fan. Lucas, ignoring the warnings his conscience is yelling to him, will join that homogay Magypsy on the Hot Spring. Remember, Lucas, if he tries something. RUN. RUN AND DO. NOT. LOOK. BACK.

”Oh, aren’t you that boy I met at Aeolia’s house 3 years ago? Remember? You said you were going to the Drago Plateau to avenge your mother… Huh? That wasn’t you?! Really? How odd… I’m Ionia, one of the Magypsies. This is a Magic Butterfly Colony. I often come here to be revitalized after I’ve worn myself out by overusing PSI. Are you here because you overused your PSI, too? Oh? You’ve never heard of PSI? That’s odd. I sense loads of magical power coming from you.”

“Oh fuck.”

The following scenes are not edited at all; these are how they look ingame:

“FUUU… I mean damn, so it’s what it looks like? That explains why Lucas will not get a love interest; he’ll be in severe denial with need of teraphy for years to come.”

Yes, screw DA, Mother 3 is the NEW SHIT (and that scene would be enough to censor/ban/burn/nuke Japan if Mother 3 was released when it should be).

”He had me holding my breath under the water! I swear!”

“You’re in denial and butthurt :D I mean, somehow you were raped by a magical immortal transvestite.”

Supposedly that was a sort of reference, a baptism if you call it (or the Magypsy being genre-savvy and exploding the animesque rule that tells that main characters will asspull (pun intended) new powers when threatened with death), made in this way by Itoi to purposely to troll the audience. Anyways, let’s continue the dialogue:

Lucas gained the following powers:

Excepting BROFORCE and Psi Flash, Lucas will get only support and healing powers, it kinda fits with his personality to be a defensive character (unfortunately he will not gain brutal powerups like Ness, his PP reserves will never be enough to spam BROFORCE to death, so he will never be an one-man psyker of absolute destruction, but there are other ways to break the game, I’ll explain these when it can be done). Like Asuka, when he gains new powers he’ll suffer a brief fever (probably recalling the previous scene), the exception being PSI Flash and PSI BROFORCE’s variants, who are given as the plot advances. Here’s the “rape scene” for the unbelievers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td1wrORK45o
Now we can continue moving, using our newfound powers to slay every mook for fun and pleasure, meeting another new foe:

The hippy’s best friend is not much of a threat, more if you use Bropower to slay it. Other enemies here are the flying mice of before.

We’re almost done, just a bit more… but then ANOTHER new abomination pounces at Lucas:

Because a regular Mole wasn’t grimdark enough. Another pushover. Also, Mr T’s warning was not in vain, sooner or later a train will show up. Fortunately Lucas uses his plot powers to force bullet time and you can dodge the train at the last second, but if you’re too slow/retarded:

The train launches you back to Tazmily.

”…You don’t want people calling you that, do you? You’re your doggie here’d be sad to find out his master’s called the ‘Squished-Flat Train Man’. Hey, doggie…”

”How could I mess up such a short word? It’s only 5 letters long, too… Well, anyways… I’m busy, so I gotta go now. Watch out for trains, you hear?”

With the Psi powers returning where we were it’s easy, this time we dodge correctly and continue walking.

”They are extremely dangerous. If you see one, stay away. View them from a distance only! –Chimera Laboratory”

That thing is a Cattlesnake, it counts as a static enemy because it barely moves and initially it doesn’t attack you until you touch it. What’s more, the thing is a fucking tank with more than 1.000 hp and your attacks will only deal like 1 hp (and can crush both Lucas and Ghostdog with a tailswipe), they cannot be defeated now (why would put what are essentially a mobile rock near a train track is something I don’t know, probably for the same reason the rest of the murderbeasts are placed on the long tunnel: FOR THE LULZ). We arrived at the other side, I’ll start reading the signposts and looting everything:

More pop-culture references.

Yep, some enemies can throw fleas against the party, this ailment prevents you of using special attacks like PSI and using items, so it’s very annoying.

”Here’s your chance to sweat beautiful sweat! Part time help wanted at the factory. All those interested apply at the factory! Right this way!"

Totally not pedo at all.

”I wish it’d be night already. Then I could go to Titiboo… I guess you wouldn’t understand, huh? I-I’m not slacking off at all. I’m sort of like, you know, keeping an eye out for people who ARE slacking off. Yeah. What’re you smirkin’ about?!”

”I’m laughing at your pathetic attempt to lie. I don’t know why you try, the rest of the villagers are self-centered morons that care for no-one, nor decency and are not afraid of showing it”

Well, that’s the end for now. More later, on the next update!

 

[spekkio]

Moar!
I don't need shrooms to get high, all those sceenshots are enough.

 

[Cenobyte]

Moar!
I don't need shrooms to get high, all those sceenshots are enough.

Absolutely true

 

[lightbane]

Btw, if it's not asking much could someone bump this to page 3 if possible? This page is already clustered, better to continue with a fresh one.

 

[spekkio]

bump the hump

 

[Cenobyte]

bump the hump

 

[ghostdog]

some "bump" scans :

 

[ghostdog]

 

[ghostdog]

 

[lightbane]

Awesomesauce, name and some info of the manga, please?

 

[ghostdog]

It's Shin Angyo Onshi , a pretty awesome Korean manga.