Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

[Alex]

If doom is what must be faced, at least face it upfront. 1.

 

[Esquilax]

Hey guys, maybe we should -- fuck it, kill the bitch.

1)

 

[Longinus]

Until the guardsman actually get the gun to shoot I'd say avoid unnecessary fights at all cost, it's not like he is a HtH specialist, no? Besides, I wouldn't count on being able to just walk away after killing the bitch.

2)

 

[Gondolin]

1.

 

[Azira]

Time to use the fatepoint guys? We're in deep here. We're not a hand-to-hand specialist, so getting past the two burly mutants in heavy need of a manicure seems a long shot by far. Better try ourselves against the witch. We've faced psy powers before, maybe we're getting better at resisting them?

In any case, killing the white-haired woman might mean we get to leave. It might not. But she's a witch, and she wants to kill us. I say we kill her first instead of turning our back on her.

OPTION NUMBAH ONE!

 

[Esquilax]

Time to use the fatepoint guys? We're in deep here. We're not a hand-to-hand specialist, so getting past the two burly mutants in heavy need of a manicure seems a long shot by far. Better try ourselves against the witch. We've faced psy powers before, maybe we're getting better at resisting them?

She's probably a powerful psyker, but she's still an old woman. A direct shot from a laspistol should do the trick, no?

 

[Commissar Draco]

yeah choose the Left path.... what could go wrong...
Burn the heretic. Kill the mutant. Purge the unclean!!!
The Emprah Protects! 1

 

[Darth Roxor]

An artist's impression of what should happen next

 

[Azael]

1.

 

[Saark]

Did you just ask us whether we cowardly run away from mutants and heretics instead of fighting them to our last breath? Seriously?

Make the sign of the aquila and kill her, and everything that tries to stop us aswell.

1

 

[Ulminati]

Hopefully we'll look like this by the time we emerge from the black hold:

 

[Saark]

well you did refuse to kill the radical inquisitor...

but i'm sorry I ever doubted your faith

You're forgiven. Mutants and Heretics are the scum of the galaxy, almost as worse as the Anti-Emperor Matt Ward himself. . Also, I personally never thought the Inquisitor to be tainted in the first place. Quite frankly, we've seen worse back in the Calixis Sector.

Btw. does Mr. Schäfer know that he was a target of the inquisitors psychic powers, or is he just gonna report what he saw on the planets surface?

 

[Baltika9]

1. Balls to the wall. If we die, we die fighting.

 

[Renegen]

1. Well this is one thing that I'm unsure about the rewards, but maybe her head will do nicely to prove our innocence.

 

[Baltika9]

1. Well this is one thing that I'm unsure about the rewards, but maybe her head will do nicely to prove our innocence.

Yeah, maybe the Inquisitor will be a bro after we survive all this shit( I mean surviving a black hold and a powerful psyker is pretty damn impressive, right?) and give us a place in his acolyte cells. I very much don't like our prospects staying with the Guard, especially if Gunny Vakarian comes back alive and intact.

 

[lightbane]

‘SERV’NT OF THE CORPS EMP’ROR, WILLINGLY CHOSE THE LEFT PATH AND COME TO YER DEFF!’ The sitting figure screeches in bad Low Gothic and rises. It’s female, and from the long, dirty white hair it’s quite old as well. There’s a black feral cat coiled around her neck. The other mutants lurking in the sides seem cowed by her presence. You blink as she utters a nonsensical string of syllables and the torches flare into an intense blue fire. Witch. And it seems to be a powerful one, at that, as the flames leap from the torches and shroud her in blazing fire.

I see what you did here. I say 1, purge the witch... Try asking her about gnostic demons, fairies and japanese rpgs. That should distract her long enough to allow us to kill her

PS: Is one of the mutants a female one covered by angry bees?

 

[Ulminati]

Yeah, maybe the Inquisitor will be a bro after we survive all this shit( I mean surviving a black hold and a powerful psyker is pretty damn impressive, right?) and give us a place in his acolyte cells. I very much don't like our prospects staying with the Guard, especially if Gunny Vakarian comes back alive and intact.

Root repeatedly stated we're never going to be part of an =I= retinue since that would change the while setting from Only War to Dark Heresy. Stop trying to suck off the radical inquisitor already.

 

[Baltika9]

Yeah, maybe the Inquisitor will be a bro after we survive all this shit( I mean surviving a black hold and a powerful psyker is pretty damn impressive, right?) and give us a place in his acolyte cells. I very much don't like our prospects staying with the Guard, especially if Gunny Vakarian comes back alive and intact.

Root repeatedly stated we're never going to be part of an =I= retinue since that would change the while setting from Only War to Dark Heresy. Stop trying to suck off the radical inquisitor already.

Then we have to fuck him before he fucks us, and hope the gunnery sergeant doesn't come back alive.

 

[Jick Magger]

An artist's impression of what should happen next

Accurate film adaptation of events depicted



Going with 1, in case I didn't make it clear.

 

[Storyfag]

1, of course.

 

[Azira]

Yeah, maybe the Inquisitor will be a bro after we survive all this shit( I mean surviving a black hold and a powerful psyker is pretty damn impressive, right?) and give us a place in his acolyte cells. I very much don't like our prospects staying with the Guard, especially if Gunny Vakarian comes back alive and intact.

Root repeatedly stated we're never going to be part of an =I= retinue since that would change the while setting from Only War to Dark Heresy. Stop trying to suck off the radical inquisitor already.

what he said

Awwww..

Well then we'd better hope our arguments are convincing, or he somehow tips himsel off if we manage to scrape through this.

 

[Esquilax]

The near-unanimous vote for 1) worries me a lot. Especially because it reminds me of when almost everybody voted to disobey orders and not inform our superiors of Commissar Holt's actions while playing as Limpwrist McFaggot.

 

[Zero Credibility]

Since the witch is already shrouded in flames, I somehow doubt a laspistol is going to do much to her.

Still voting 1 of course.

Say goodbye to that fate point. We really should have gone with the rest of our team to rescue our comrades. The Inquisitor would still try to get rid of us, but at least we wouldn't be alone - he would have to take out all of us (including what's left of the refinery team to make sure we didn't talk to them). Much harder to cover up.

 

[Jick Magger]

The near-unanimous vote for 1) worries me a lot. Especially because it reminds me of when almost everybody voted to disobey orders and not inform our superiors of Commissar Holt's actions while playing as Limpwrist McFaggot.

Difference here is both options have an equal chance of success and failure. I'm just picking the option that'll let us die with our boots on as opposed to getting run down like a dog.

 

[Ulminati]

Since the witch is already shrouded in flames, I somehow doubt a laspistol is going to do much to her.

Apparently the flame resistence power as described in the rulebook only reduces the damage from plasma weapons by half, not laspistols
Besides, we have an axe.