Putting the 'role' back in role-playing games since 2002.
Donate to Codex
Good Old Games
  • Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.

Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
19th Malachite, 125, Mid-Summer
The Outpost


DrlWIHv.png
This place is horrible, Hel. You promised to lead us to a new, happier life. I trusted you. Mustawd trusted you!

1tkud7F.png
Ah, my poor, poor Reinhardt. My heart is bleeding when you say these things. But I must ask you to have faith and be patient for a while longer.

DrlWIHv.png
My husband is breaking his back down there!

1tkud7F.png
Shh. Someone's coming.

4o6H0Qw.png
*approaches Helly* Sorry if I interrupted something.

1tkud7F.png
No need to be sorry, good doctor Azira. If you're here to check my health condition, let me remind you, I'm a married dwarf, A HAR HAR HA, aaah.

4o6H0Qw.png
Actually, I was curious why would anyone want to settle in Angèrith of all places. Don't get me wrong, everyone is happy to see new dwarven faces, and yet...

1tkud7F.png
Suspicious, aren't you? Understandable. I'll be honest, we didn't intend to come here. We didn't even know this place existed until recently.

DrlWIHv.png
We were heading to Girderjoyous.

HSAUnap.png

1tkud7F.png
Have you heard of Girderjoyous, doctor Azira?

4o6H0Qw.png
Can't say I have. Due to certain circumstances, I was isolated from the rest of the world for some years.

DrlWIHv.png
How so?

1tkud7F.png
Reinhardt, dear! Where are your manners? I'm sure doctor Azira will tell his story once we earn his trust.

4o6H0Qw.png
If you earn my trust, that is. Please go on.

1tkud7F.png
On our way to Girderjoyous, we made a quick stop in Plankplunged. The taverns there are just too good to pass. We were having drinks, discussing which route to our destination should we take, when another dwarf overheard us talking. Forgot his name...

DrlWIHv.png
Urist McStoryteller.

1tkud7F.png
Thank you, deary. Old dwarf interrupted our discussion with, how do I put it..? A rather descriptive speech on the topic of Girderjoyous. Long story short, Urist made us reconsider the rationale behind our decision to settle there. And when we asked for his suggestion of a better place to start a new life, he pointed us here, at Redlabored.

DrlWIHv.png
"Where all dwarves are equals, and everyone gets what they need."

1tkud7F.png
The only thing we need is a chance to prove ourselves. Can we get one, doctor?

4o6H0Qw.png
I am not the one to decide. But I'll be watching you.

1tkud7F.png
Oh, stop it, you naughty dwarf. You're making me blush, A HAR HAR HAR


20th Malachite, 125, Mid-Summer
Dining Room


DUelvJM.png
*enters the room* What's up? Why is everyone here?

IgRXlWo.png

4o6H0Qw.png
Nowhere else to be. It's not like we have any actual work to do.

NsJZoTC.png

DUelvJM.png
Wait, what? Kalin, what's wrong?

TWOnKLq.png
*sits in the corner of Dining Room, drinking ale from a barrel*

PV80FJy.png
Forget about him, Sqeecoo. He had a fight with Grimwulf earlier today - the Kommissar is furious at our current situation.

DUelvJM.png
Shouldn't we cut stone blocks?

PV80FJy.png
Not before our miners dig a portion of Redlabored. Right now, there is not enough space to set up mason's workshops and storage for boulders and stone blocks.

DUelvJM.png
Well, we could focus on cooking and brewing while we wait.

4o6H0Qw.png
No ingredients left to cook or brew.

DUelvJM.png
So, can't we do something? Anything?

XHw0wrF.png
I've made a drawbridge out of boredom.

sWG7iLR.jpg

XHw0wrF.png
Operated by a lever in the manager's office. Once you pull the lever, the bridge over here:

ORjwTQR.png

XHw0wrF.png
Is raised, preventing anyone from entering the outpost. A primitive way to ensure our safety in case we spot something nasty coming our way.

DUelvJM.png
Are you saying we can seal ourselves inside the outpost? It's so cool!

XHw0wrF.png
Not yet. It seems you forgot the Kommissar ordered a staircase connecting the Passage of Memories with the outpost. This entry needs to be sealed as well.

pNUV4Ic.png

XHw0wrF.png
I'll do it in a day or two. Taking my time to extend this feeling of being useful.

DUelvJM.png
Nobody's doing labor in Redlabored. How ironic.

kv0ND0k.png

siSaJv9.png
Such an ignominious interpretation of my spot among this cooperation is abstract.

XHw0wrF.png
I agree with whatever he said.

1tkud7F.png
*admires the tables and chairs* My compliments, Merc. The craftsdwarship is of the highest quality.

TsM7zwW.png

PV80FJy.png
Aye, I'm quite content with the end result.

1tkud7F.png
As you should be. *palms the edges of the table* What you did with the wood here... Merciless. Merely touching this piece makes me feel your hatred for the trees you worked with. I am truly impressed.

ma28QEw.png

PV80FJy.png
Appreciate it, Helly. It's good to have someone capable of recognizing actual skill.

siSaJv9.png
*stares at the table, trying hard to come up with something to say*

1qdeaOe.png

siSaJv9.png
Benign.

PV80FJy.png
... Thanks, I guess.

1tkud7F.png
Will you excuse me for a moment? *takes a seat near Kalin* Got a minute, boss?

TWOnKLq.png
*burp*

1tkud7F.png
*half-whispering* I can help you sort your problems out.

TWOnKLq.png
Fuck off.

1tkud7F.png
You don't have to say anything or follow my advice. But there is no harm in lending your ear for a moment.

TWOnKLq.png
*mumbles* Every dwarf around 'ere wants to fuck mah brain out, I swear.

1tkud7F.png
Look. You should really keep the dwarves busy. Why don't you give the order to cut trees around our surface fortress?

BOEOJ4M.png

1tkud7F.png
We'll need to clear it at some point, might as well do it now.

TWOnKLq.png
Eh. Enuff wood as it is. Dat stockpile is full anyways.

1tkud7F.png
Make another stockpile.

3ZzTfet.png

1tkud7F.png
It's a common mistake of every new dwarven settlement, to think you have "enough wood." When, in reality, you can never have enough. Trust me, once Grimwulf sets up the smithies, we'll need charcoal, a lot of it. We'll burn through that wood in no time. The ability to plan ahead is what separates a good manager from a bad one.

TWOnKLq.png
Plannin' my ass. What's da point? Got nuthin' to BRU. No booze - no werk, Redlabored be fucked.

1tkud7F.png
Here is another tip from a somewhat experienced brewer. I can make booze from almost anything.

TWOnKLq.png
Can you bru Grimwulf?

1tkud7F.png
That kind of alcohol would be too strong even for a dwarf, A HAR HAR HAR HAR, aaaahhh. We are in the middle of nowhere, Kalin. Have you been on the surface recently?

TWOnKLq.png
Nu. I've been drinkin' down 'ere.

1tkud7F.png
Plants. Trees. Fruits. Grass. Everything up there can be used for brewing. And I happen to know that Sqeecoo has plenty of experience gathering useful plants. All she needs is an order.

TWOnKLq.png
Why da fug are ya tellin' me dis?

1tkud7F.png
As I see it, you are a competent dwarf, clearly destined for greater things. Managing these poor workers is just not your level, Kalin. I hope that one day, when Redlabored grows, you will be appointed to a position more suitable for your... talents. The sheriff. Militia commander, maybe. When that day comes, Redlabored will elect a new manager to replace you. I'm sure you'll vote for a dwarf that is reliable, patient, and friendly. Someone you know you can trust. Someone resourceful.

TWOnKLq.png
Dat's a lotta words comin' from dat yuge mouth. Gotta think. *takes a sip from a barrel*

1tkud7F.png
I'm always here for you. *pats Kalin's shoulder* All I ask in exchange is a small favor.

20th Malachite, 125, Mid-Summer

Today Kalin ordered me to gather plants we can use for cooking and brewing. Which is shocking, really. Who would expect someone like Kalin to come up with a good idea like this?

21th Malachite, 125, Mid-Summer

It's like this land was blessed by Anir himself! So many fruits and berries around!

Cr24MeW.png

Can't wait for Helly to make something new and tasty. It's been forever since I had a chance to enjoy blackberry wine.

16th Galena, 125, Late Summer

It's been a while, diary. Don't have much time to write, not with all that work to do. Everyone is so busy!

D1jLAnH.png

I'd say Kalin is doing a great job. We are no longer low on drinks, every single dwarf has a task, and the only thing we're lacking is downtime. Yep, no happy faces here in Redlabored.

But we are dwarves, not some edgy humans. A dwarf can tolerate and endure for a long, long while before he finally breaks. We all know that sooner or later Redlabored will be constructed, complete with rooms, taverns, beautiful stone gardens, temples, museums. There is a bright future ahead of us.

All we have to do is be patient.


1st Limestone, 125, Early Autumn
Redlabored, 8 levels below ground



44fJDgQ.png
Hrrrrnnngg. My back is killing me.

3xknlxr.png
*swings his pick, breaking the stone in front of him*

44fJDgQ.png
What day is it? I think it's Autumn already.

Adzd1tN.png

44fJDgQ.png
I'm talking to you.

3xknlxr.png
*ignores Mustawd completely*

44fJDgQ.png
I'm not a big talker myself, but you? I know a numb dwarf who is noisier than you.

3xknlxr.png
*thud, thud, thud*

44fJDgQ.png
Come on, Tindrli. Lower that pick for a damn moment. We've been down here for what, almost two months now? You haven't said a word.

3xknlxr.png
Stay focused. *keeps swinging the pickaxe*

44fJDgQ.png
Oh, good. We had a talk. I assume we are friends now. *grabs his pickaxe* I wish my wife was like you. *thud* About the only good thing down here is *thud* not having that whining harlot nearby. *thud*

3xknlxr.png
*has his pickaxe stuck in stone for a moment* Gneiss.

44fJDgQ.png
What's that?

3xknlxr.png
This layer is part basalt, part gneiss.

44fJDgQ.png
Is it really the only topic you care about? Mining? What is wrong with you?

3xknlxr.png
...

44fJDgQ.png
No dwarf in their right mind would volunteer for a miner's job. Sometimes it's assigned as a punishment for breaking the law, other times a dwarf has to do it for survival. But you..? It seems like you want to be here.

3xknlxr.png
Stay focused.


Meanwhile
Kommissar's Private Quarters.



lLtAqSI.png
AWRIGHT, you barrel-huggin' alcoholics, I wanna hear your reports! NOW!

4o6H0Qw.png
Autumn's here, and we're neither dead nor starving. Not even sober so far. I say it's a miracle in its own right.

TWOnKLq.png
No tanks to YOU! Where is mah BONAS, Grimbutt?!

lLtAqSI.png
Did you fix our alcohol shortage?

TWOnKLq.png
FUCK YES!

lLtAqSI.png
*staring at Azira*

4o6H0Qw.png
I... have nothing to say, Kommissar. According to my records, we are well-stocked on alcohol for the time being.

j57ijZQ.png

4o6H0Qw.png
Not only that but now we have a variety of different booze.

PKhq4Ri.png

4o6H0Qw.png
Same goes for our food stocks.

TWOnKLq.png
DAS RITE!

4o6H0Qw.png
The amount of wood was nearly doubled last month.

iyJUEb2.png

lLtAqSI.png
Who said we need more wood?

TWOnKLq.png
'tis the result of clearing da ground for skull-fort cuntstrucshun.

BsEHqqx.png

lLtAqSI.png
Hrmpf. Fair enough.

TWOnKLq.png
NOW PAY UP!

lLtAqSI.png
Right after you tell me what I want to hear.

TWOnKLq.png
Da last kapitalist we hang shall be da one who sold us the rope.

lLtAqSI.png
Nice try. But I meant stone blocks. How many did we cut?

TWOnKLq.png
Enuff for a start.

lLtAqSI.png
Just give me the number, Kalin. You had the entire Summer to prove yourself.

TWOnKLq.png
Ei, I ain't got time ta keep count--

4o6H0Qw.png
Zero. We don't have a single stone block yet — not even a mason's workshop.

TWOnKLq.png
NOBODY ASKED FOR YER FFFFFFFFFFFUCKIN' COMMENTS, AZIRA!!

lLtAqSI.png
Hold on. No blocks? No workshops?

4o6H0Qw.png
Grim, are you aware of our current progress on Redlabored?

lLtAqSI.png
Of course. Kalin keeps me updated. I can only assume you are trying to prank me or sumthin'.

4o6H0Qw.png
What exactly did he tell you?

TWOnKLq.png
SHUDDUP, YOU FUCKER!

lLtAqSI.png
The passageways were ready before the new migrants arrived. Mid-Summer, if I recall correctly.

E7MDmut.png

7LeODXT.png

lLtAqSI.png
Then I told him to dig out the stone industry area.

gy0Q0eB.png

lLtAqSI.png
And start cutting stone blocks at once. He keeps telling me that things are going according to schedule.

4o6H0Qw.png
That's not the most accurate way to put it. You see, due to some reassignments our mining progress slowed down to a halt.

HRvBqrs.png

lLtAqSI.png
What IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING HELL, Kalin?!

TWOnKLq.png
I GOT IT, OK? Relax.

4o6H0Qw.png
While Tindrli worked together with Kalin, the digging was going pretty fast. But then Kalin decided to assign Mustawd instead of himself and, well, the result speaks for itself.

TWOnKLq.png
Both of ya DO NOT GEDDIT! Mustawd, dat worthless son of an elf, gonna b a gud miner in a few months. Soonar or later we'll get more picks, rite? Rite. AND THEN you'll b praisin' KALIN for training moar miners in advance!

4o6H0Qw.png
I'm not buying that crap. The only reason you assigned Mustawd as a miner was because you wanted to slack from the job yourself.

TWOnKLq.png
WRONG, and also FUCK YOU sincerely, Azira! You know what separates a GUD MANAGER LIKE KALIN from an impotent like you? The ability to PLAN AHEAD!
 
Last edited:

MediantSamuel

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jan 14, 2016
Messages
628
Location
Institute of Tchort
Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
Oh shit, Grimwulf is alive and back with another amazing LP to get me through my work days? Fuck yeah.

I wonder if I'll get chance to be in this one:

"The Mediant" (picture coming, I swear)

If possible: dwarf who craves authority / power, but is incompetent & also possibly retarded.

If not: meatshield for the Kommune.
 

Demo.Graph

Liturgist
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
1,189
The Poetic Edda said:
The Gods had attempted to bind Fenrir twice with huge chains of metal, but Fenrir was able to break free. Therefore, by the order of the Gods a dwarf had made the marvelous chain Gleipnir out of six things: the noise of a cat's step, the beards of women, the roots of mountains, the nerves of bears, the breath of fishes, and the spittle of birds...
XHw0wrF.png
I have made a drawbridge out of boredom.
 

Fedora Master

STOP POSTING
Patron
Edgy
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Messages
31,774
*Later, in the calm of the subterranean buildings*
What is wrong with this place? Who'd ever build a fortress in the middle of the mud? I guess beggars can't be choosers, but still...
That little manager, with his small narrow head... He seems to be their second in command... I must learn what it would cost to get him to owe me a favour...
In any case, let's help them for now, they desperately need our guidance.
Our time *shall* come...

Also why...why does this table bring me so much pleasure?...
7V0XMtc.png


Great work Grimwulf, I had a blast reading last update :hug:

serveimage
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
7th Limestone, 125, Early Autumn
Redlabored, 8 levels below ground


NBTTimN.png

lLtAqSI.png
I CAN'T HEAR THOSE PICKS CRUSHING THE STONE! MUDCRAB, you goddamn slacker, don't make me come over and PLUNGE that pick in your ASS!

44fJDgQ.png
Mudcrab..?

PV80FJy.png
*approaches Grimwulf from the stairway* Kommissar. We have unexpected visitors.

lLtAqSI.png
Wrong. I've been expecting the deers to attack us ever since we settled here.

PV80FJy.png
Wh-- Listen, first of all, deer is the correct pluralization of deer in Dwarven language.

lLtAqSI.png
No, it's not.

PV80FJy.png
Argh, forget it. We are not under attack, although I would rather have a hostile army besieging us than--

lLtAqSI.png
What are you blabberin' about, Murk? Can't you see I'm busy SCREAMING AT THAT SON OF A LIZARD TO DO HIS FUCKING JOB!!

44fJDgQ.png
*clenches his teeth*

dvqbeim.png

44fJDgQ.png
You got this, Mustawd. It might be tough, but you had worse. At least it's not the wedding night.

PV80FJy.png
Kommissar!

lLtAqSI.png
WHAT?!

PV80FJy.png
The outpost liaison from Plankplunged is coming!

SKFeZA7.png

lLtAqSI.png
Liaison? From Plankplunged?

PV80FJy.png
Outpost liaisons are tasked with supporting new dwarven settlements on behalf of the Queen. They will trade with you, share recent news, make all sort of deals for future trading and--

lLtAqSI.png
I know what a liaison is, you wood-brains. It's just surprising to see Queen Bomrek thinking about Redlabored at all.

PV80FJy.png
What you should know, though, is--

lLtAqSI.png
Bomrek has a massive crush on me, by the way.

PV80FJy.png
Oh. Alright.

lLtAqSI.png
She couldn't stop praising me when we discussed my project. "You are our best Mason, Grimwulf. Everyone loves you. Plankplunged needs you. Your beard looks so... Tingly"

PV80FJy.png
Anywa--

lLtAqSI.png
Her throne was all wet by the time we finished.

PV80FJy.png
Damn it, Kommissar! Would you kindly listen to what I have to say?

lLtAqSI.png
If it makes you go away, shoot.

PV80FJy.png
Thank you! Gods. As I was saying, Tekkud Actionbridge is not to be trusted. It's sad to see such a treacherous dwarf be appointed as an official representative of the Queen.

DtHrDRt.png

PV80FJy.png
He's an old dwarf. 140 years, give or take.

uUKcrQq.png

PV80FJy.png
Spent most of his life as a wandering poet. I can respect dwarven poetry, but Tekkud is a special case. He spent 70 years as a member of the Wanders of Sweltering, an elven performance troupe. During those years, he wrote several horrible pieces of literature dedicated to Inefa.

6Ex8xbS.png

lLtAqSI.png
Who?

PV80FJy.png
*spits* Elven goddess or something.

UdsSaHK.png

PV80FJy.png
You want to know how many poems he dedicated to the Dwarven Gods? Not a single one.

lLtAqSI.png
I don't care about poetry.

PV80FJy.png
We don't need this bastard here, Kommissar! Proud dwarves like us don't trade with elf-lovers. They say Tekkud is actually praying to this elven goddess of nature!

RcA1AwR.png

PV80FJy.png
Send him away.

lLtAqSI.png
Moments like these make me glad you were not appointed as Redlabored's broker. Can't believe I voted for you, Dork.

PV80FJy.png
It's Merc.

lLtAqSI.png
Almost made the wrong key choice back then.


11th Limestone, 125, Early Autumn
The Outpost



DOvamnu.png

4o6H0Qw.png
Grim? The liaison is expecting us. But before we go, let us discuss what exactly are we going to trade.

lLtAqSI.png
Hrmpf. Trading is a kapitalistic concept.

4o6H0Qw.png
Let me sell some of our food stocks. Nobody here is going to eat horse-eye lasagna.

lLtAqSI.png
Food is not for sale. Drinks too. And tools. And everything that so much as smells of being useful.

4o6H0Qw.png
Can we sell Kalin then?

lLtAqSI.png
I wish we could.

4o6H0Qw.png
Speaking of Kalin. I've noticed him working in Merc's workshop recently.

lLtAqSI.png
I SAID NOBODY TOUCHES THAT WOOD EXCEPT MARK!

4o6H0Qw.png
Kalin wasn't working with wood. He made "sumthin speshul" to decorate his future "Kalin's Grand Manor." I happen to know where he's hiding these so-called "decorations." If you allow me to make, let's call it, requisition of Kalin's property--

lLtAqSI.png
No such thing as "Kalin's property" in KKK. Go forth with Kommissar's blessing.


Later that day


lLtAqSI.png
4o6H0Qw.png
*entering the trade depot*

KzrskTB.png
You must be the expedition leader. I am Tekkud Actionbridge, outpost liaison of the Courageous Crafts, speaking on behalf of Queen Bomrek.

lLtAqSI.png
REDBLOODED KOMMISSAR GRIMGLORY "NO-DEAL" WOLFENFLAME THE GREATER. And this is doctor Asshole.

4o6H0Qw.png
Hi. Wait, what?

KzrskTB.png
Your efforts became legends in the Mountainhomes. First new settlement in such a long time, and so far away from Plankplunged too. Redlabored became the talk of the taverns, Kommissar. You should be proud.

4o6H0Qw.png
Can we address the elephant in the room? Angèrith is not Queen Bomrek's subject. So why are you here?

KzrskTB.png
Since Kommissar's young fortress is becoming increasingly popular, the Queen cannot ignore your existence any longer. That would affect her popularity among the dwarves, surely you understand.

lLtAqSI.png
Drop the act, Tedukk. I know Bomrek wants my beard between her hanging breasts, and that's the only reason you came here.

KzrskTB.png
Well. She told me you are not an ordinary dwarf. So I'll pretend I didn't hear anything. In any case, Queen's messengers will spread the word about Redlabored, which will undoubtedly result in a steady flow of migrants coming here.

4o6H0Qw.png
What's the catch?

KzrskTB.png
Once you grow rich and prosperous, you might want to consider joining the Courageous Crafts as a loyal subject. Failing that, this fortress has trading potential, considering your proximity to the elven nations.

rgDJwuj.png

KzrskTB.png
Sooner or later, they will send a diplomat. When the time comes, please be patient. And polite.

lLtAqSI.png
Kalin can handle that.

KzrskTB.png
I hope so, whoever he is. Shall we proceed with trading?

4o6H0Qw.png
Allow me to show you our best masterpieces, crafted by Kalin himself.

6t2Hrdu.png

KzrskTB.png
Doesn't look impressive, my friend.

4o6H0Qw.png
Wait until you hear the story. The horse skull over here belonged to Limpinfukr herself. The mightiest horse of them all. It was Limpinfukr who led us here, pulling the wagon and fighting wolves. Poor creature sacrificed her life so we could reach our destination and build a fortress. When Redlabored becomes famous - which won't take long - any collector will pay a fortune for Limpinfukr's skull.

KzrskTB.png
You have a way with words. A fellow poet, I assume?

4o6H0Qw.png
You could say that. Now I want you to look at this llama skull totem. That llama kept Kalin warm at night. If it weren't for her, Kalin - our most flimsy dwarf - would be long dead now. This unlikely bond between a dwarf and a llama proves that love will blossom despite any hardships. Notice the details. Can you see the bone carver's emotions?

KzrskTB.png
That totem is cracked.

4o6H0Qw.png
As was Kalin's heart when llama died.

KzrskTB.png
How did she die?

4o6H0Qw.png
One could say she couldn't handle Kalin's tough love.

lLtAqSI.png
*whispering* What in nine hells are you doing?

4o6H0Qw.png
*whispering in response* That's called bargaining.

KzrskTB.png
Alright. I can't offer you much for these totems, but I can offer something, if only for the story. I do have a soft spot for good stories. How about... this lead cage?

4o6H0Qw.png
Deal.

lLtAqSI.png
Why would we want a cage?

4o6H0Qw.png
Still have that vermin problem to deal with. A good trapper might rid us of all the rats and lizards, given a cage and enough time.

lLtAqSI.png
Fair enough.

KzrskTB.png
We have other matters to discuss, Kommissar.

7ISnGCb.png

KzrskTB.png
I imagine you are not aware of recent events, so let me fill you in.

YPaS1ib.png


A bit later


KzrskTB.png
Finally, let us talk about requests.

cA9rVW2.png

KzrskTB.png
Do you want anything in particular next time we visit?

lLtAqSI.png
Not really. Although there is one thing I can never have enough.

iOqCbfw.png

KzrskTB.png
Why?

4o6H0Qw.png
Don't ask.

KzrskTB.png
Well then, we have finalized the import agreement.

VhM3YFR.png

KzrskTB.png
Let us discuss what we are willing to offer for your craftsdwarfship.

uEa6dge.png

lLtAqSI.png
Let's not.

Clz3S14.png

KzrskTB.png
Bracelets are the new rage among dwarves. Plankplunged clothiers can barely keep up with the latest fashion trends, that's why we can offer a good price for cloth, thread, and almost any piece of clothing. But most of all, bracelets. Oh, we are also willing to buy any drinks you can spare - next year will be full of festivals. Toys are in high demand due to a recent increase in population. A friend of mine buys cheese as well.

lLtAqSI.png
Not interested. *goes away*

KzrskTB.png
It was a... pleasure. I look forward to-- Aaand he's gone.

vdl6ZkB.png

4o6H0Qw.png
Can I ask for a favor?

KzrskTB.png
What kind of favor?

4o6H0Qw.png
Next time you come, can you bring some manuals on surgery and medical treatment?

KzrskTB.png
I'll see what I can do.

4o6H0Qw.png
Let's keep it between us, though. Oh, and... look for beginner-friendly material.

KzrskTB.png
Sure.

4o6H0Qw.png
I mean it.

KzrskTB.png
Just much of a beginner are we talking about?

4o6H0Qw.png
"Blood Vessels and You: why do we need blood to survive."

KzrskTB.png
...

4o6H0Qw.png
"Hygiene: Complete Crash-Course"

KzrskTB.png
Okay.

4o6H0Qw.png
Almost forgot, "Band-aiding for Dummies."

KzrskTB.png
Merciful Gods.


18th Limestone, 125, Early Autumn
Communal Dormitory
Early Morning



TWOnKLq.png
Where's mah skull totems? I'm sure I left dem undah mah bed. Da fuck..? Someone TUK my totems?

1tkud7F.png
What's wrong, boss?

TWOnKLq.png
MIND YER OWN FFFFUCKIN' BUSINESS, DORF!

44fJDgQ.png
*yawns*

TWOnKLq.png
*kicks Mustawd* GIDDUP! FULL BODY SEARCH! Spread ya fartin' buttcrack NAW!

44fJDgQ.png
Do you really think I stole your skull totems and decided to hide them in my asshole?

TWOnKLq.png
SPRED IT!

4o6H0Qw.png
As the chief medical dwarf of Redlabored, I promise to make a full medical examination of Mustawd later today. Right now, he should focus on digging.

tvQ421f.png

TWOnKLq.png
I'm watching ye. Criminul skum. *spits*

44fJDgQ.png
I should go.

DrlWIHv.png
Be careful, hon. I'll bring you mushroom lasagna in a few hours.

44fJDgQ.png
*pushes Reinhardt away and goes down to the mines*

DrlWIHv.png
... Doctor Azira?

4o6H0Qw.png
Mm?

DrlWIHv.png
Can you do something with my face? Make it more... you know.

4o6H0Qw.png
I thought you'd never ask! Meet me in the hospital this evening.

lLtAqSI.png
*GLORIOUSLY kick-opens the door* KALIN!

TWOnKLq.png
FUCK OFF! That goes for ALL of you! FUCK OFF!!!

lLtAqSI.png
AZIRA!

4o6H0Qw.png
Mm?

XHw0wrF.png
Wait a second. Why can you not remember any of our names, except Azira and Kalin?

lLtAqSI.png
Hrmpf. Dunnow, it's almost like I knew them in some other life. Also, I remember all of you, komrades! Let's see, Mars... Coo-Coo... Huehuelly... Werner's Son... Teen Dr. Lee...

XHw0wrF.png
Alright, stop it.

lLtAqSI.png
As you wish, Sushi Vesla. AWRIGHT, Azira, Kalin, I want you to go outside and do what you do best!

4o6H0Qw.png
Which is?

lLtAqSI.png
Show... No, misrepresent Redlabored to our new recruits.

zz5PC1f.png



CHOOSE YOUR DWARF



You heard that right. I've decided to try this as an experiment meant to solve a certain issue with this LP.

About half of the Red List is no longer with us. Men Dwarves of Codex sign up for duty and vanish. Can't blame them. My threads are wordy, and DF can be very tranquil at early game stage, so we don't see a lot of action. Yet.

The current state of affairs doesn't work for Kodex Kommunism. Making Kollective decisions is what my threads are all about. I know it's been a while since the last KEY CHOICE, but it will change soon. Pinky swear. I need komrades to vote so that I can blame them for the inevitable fall of Redlabored.

So here is what we gonna do. I'll post new faces, and you can choose whatever dwarf makes you giggle like a deranged little girl. First come - first served. I'll give it a day, then distribute remaining unassigned dwarves according to the Red List as usual. This way, we can get those eager to suffer and die WORK AND BE MERRY right into the boat, while those who signed up before will also participate sooner or later. It's not like they care much.

Lastly, 5000 views over two weeks? Either Codex view count is broken, or SOMEONE out there is LURKING in this thread silently. If that is the case, I'm talking to YOU, lurker. KKK needs YOU. Only YOU can stop the Deer Threat. Show yerself and sign up for a GLORIOUS RIDE!

Here goes:

This young dwarf doesn't have a lot of outstanding traits, which sometimes happens in DF. Clumsy, extremely quick to tire, very shy and passive, doesn't care about loyalty and hard labor.

Just what we fucking needed.

BMAOfAn.png

In terms of skills, Nil is a jack-of-all-trades. Or rather jack-shit-at-all-trades.

N9bAeNU.png

At least he has some basic military training. He can mine too. And sadly, he is the only dwarf in Redlabored who knows something about animals.

Like any animal trainer worth his salt, Nil came to Redlabored with his own pet. Can you guess what kind of pet it is?

i1QaCGA.png

Clearly, he is a great tamer of beasts.

He came here with his wife and older brother, but before we get to them, here is the fun part about Nil's family that explains so much.

v09mtNq.png

You all probably know that genes in DF matter a lot. Genes are the reason why our dwarves share so many similarities in appearance - we are all part of the same nation.

Family members share even more similarities. So there you go. Reunion of the most useless dwarf family in the realm.

And yes, Nil is married. What kind of deranged dwarf would marry Nil Rhymegilt? Let's find out.

The name speaks for itself.

sDUQ0lU.png

Reading this gives me a headache, I swear. Let's try to figure it out together.

- sees the pursuit of good craftsdwarship as a total waste, but dreams of creating a great work of art;
- often filled with joy, but does not find most jokes humorous;
- revels in chaos and discord, encouraging it whenever possible, but tries to keep her things orderly.

Everything about Zefon is contradictive. I hereby label this dwarf batshit crazy.

Fun fact: Zefon means "Fountain," according to Dwarven traditions.

Let's hope she has gud skillz, at least.

lexEQ3I.png

That skillset is so... random. Ffs, Zefon!

Just like her husband Nil, Zefon travels with a pet.

4ZH3cOu.png

At least she likes doges.

IMs0RZg.png

Scratch that. I'm done.

The elder brother of Nil Rhymegilt and Reinhardt. They can't be all useless, right?

WGvFVoH.png

Sees working hard as a foolish waste of time... Frustratingly sloppy and careless... Lives at a slow-going and leisurely pac--

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU COMING HERE, YOU FREAKS?!

REDLABORED! RED - FUCKING - LABORED!

:x

Tell me he has some skills, at least.

FgCTrHg.png

Basic military training, just like his younger brother. Nothing else we can use at this point. Another grunt then. Can I get a single half-arsed blacksmith?

And what is wrong with this fucked up family anyway? Let me check their parents real quick. Mother, Sarvesh Ringtop, has... Sixteen children?

XgRgTbO.png

Some dwarves just don't know how to stop.

Ok, so here is the thing: Reinhard and her brothers used to live in Paintedgleams before coming to Redlabored. A small dwarven settlement.

XBRsCOm.png

Their mother is a sheriff there. Their father? He's the mayor.

ZxnCAm2.png

WHY ARE YOU SENDING YOUR CHILDREN TO REDLABORED?!

How a sane person plays DF:

1. Get a new migrant.

2. Check his skills.

hcXPVDv.png

3. Nothing special. NEXT!

How Grimwulf plays DF: I want to know everything about you and your great-great-grandmother.

And you know what, it pays off. Sometimes. Because there is more to Kogsak's story than meets the eye.

X4PwXdD.png

We can immediately see on the very top of Kogsak's description that sometimes he feels sad at being separated from loved ones. Kogsak has a wife and seven children, but he arrived here with only his youngest son Shorast.

7lQNabr.png

Shorast is only seven years old. What happened to his brothers and sisters? And where is his mother Lorbam?

I've spent an hour or so just reading through this poor dwarf's story. It's fucked up, men. Fucked up.

:stunned:

Let's get back to his personality. Am I the only one getting Dr. House vibes?

7EeNH6r.png

Kogsak is not a doctor, but given his personality and mental attributes, he has the potential to become one. Come to think of it, he can master a lot of skills with his traits.

A pity he is also very weak and very flimsy.

Seriously, though. Who is your great-great-mother? :lol:
:what:

J4nBNdG.png

This dwarf, I swear...

The youngest dwarf in our ranks. If I had to describe him in one word, it would be Edgelord.

gePD65z.png

This whole description is screaming hormones and puberty.

The skillset is nothing special. Yet another farmhand/rancher.

crXNJKE.png

He is accompanied by two puppies.

O2BAm0U.png

His mother is a mayor; his father is a scientist. He is the eldest child.

yYNCjk8.png

I'm sure his personality will change dramatically in no time. Dwarves aren't that different from humans in that regard. But right now, Fikod is edgy, horny, overly emotional, and pretty useless.

Fucking kids in my KKK.

This one is the oldest dwarf we have. Older than Grimwulf.

VqTLdSN.png

He strikes me as a grumpy old dwarf. He's not here to make friends, and he certainly won't hold back any thoughts or emotions. He is confident in his abilities, but not proud of them. Doesn't care for socializing, but due to an excellent affinity for language he can probably swear like a goddamn boss. Problems with memory and member, no surprise at this age. Seems like a perfectly normal old dwarf.

My kind of dwarf.

Did I mention he can also BRU?

kSItOtQ.png

Pro negotiator, pro conversationalist, pro consoler. I am looking at the perfect bartender.
:love:
 
Last edited:

baud

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Dec 11, 2016
Messages
3,992
Location
Septentrion
RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
KzrskTB.png
Sooner or later, the elves will send a diplomat. When the time comes, please be patient. And polite.

lLtAqSI.png
Kalin can handle that.

I'm sure Kalin will be exemplary of patience and politeness.
TtHsOAf.png

Yeah, I think it will go swimmingly and there won't be any possible negative consequences :smug:

And I'd take Bomrek Handlecleans, because 'Sees working hard as a foolish waste of time... Frustratingly sloppy and careless... Lives at a slow-going and leisurely pace' feels so familiar that I couldn't pass up this opportunity.
 
Last edited:

BrotherFrank

Nouveau Riche
Patron
Joined
Apr 19, 2012
Messages
1,804
I don't like this self selection for dorfs shenanigans, it's all way too democratic for my liking and makes me think the commissar is weak so maybe I could be commissar in place of the commissar.

I do like Zefon though, being a weirdo full of contraditions is something I can relate to. Shame she's a woman and therefore beardless but then that's what I get for not realizing I wanted a male dwarf until 2 minutes ago.
 

Azira

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
8,527
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Codex 2012
The Kommisar does know best. Just see how Kalin and I are represented in the game. Pure genious! :salute:

Next time traders come by, let's try to trade for anal candles and dirty socks, aye?
 

As an Amazon Associate, rpgcodex.net earns from qualifying purchases.
Back
Top Bottom