Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[Lizzurd]

We should pull the lever. I don't want to look suggestive, but I guess it is fine to put one or two dwarven lives at stake to save the fortress, isn't it?

 

[Grimwulf]

We can always reopen when a caravan comes, if they survive, right?

IIRC, you must have a route for a caravan to reach the trade depot. If you don't, you get a message, smth like "a caravan was passing by, but couldn't find a way to the fortress". We can let new migrants inside, but not caravans.

Maybe more experienced overseers will correct me on that.

maybe even make a 2-door airlock so we are safe if the elves are indeed lurking.

Nah, that won't help. They can pass through locked doors. One way to spot an ambush early is when you see doors open/close for no reason.

Namely, where are all the plump helmet seeds?

Remember Kalin the manager? The guy who told you to KUK evedating ye see? Yeah, that's what happened to the seeds.

I say close the door and DIG, DIG FOR BINS!

Forgot to say, I'm not unpausing the game until Baud casts his personal vote. Even if we decide to pull the lever, I estimate our chances as very slim, unless someone throws away his life to save the fortress. Because in order for this plan to succeed:

1. Someone must pull the damn lever
2. A certain amount of "ticks" (turns) must pass before the mechanism triggers and the gates close
3. This should happen before the beast finds its way inside.

No pressure, though. You are free to make your own decisions, baud.

Spoiler

 

[vazha]

Glorious update! Glorious Givi. Not sure about the minor offender thingie tho, too creepy methinks. Otherwise perfect, top-notch writing.

As for our situation, I say fight. And let me assume my role as a war correspondent, as in not getting involved in fighting, but being present and record everythang, as they say. Carrying out reporting duties for the Dorfen Broadcastin Corporashun - The DBC channel!

 

[Reinhardt]

Someone must pull the damn lever

I can do it.

 

[Citizen]

Well, according to my calculations... Lemme just... Speed second derivative... Aerodynamic resistance... of a spherical were-gecko in vacuum... Trajectory intersection... I estimate our survival chances in case the gate stays open as... one in six dwarfzillion! Could be worse!

Der Kommissar, I know the numbers might seem discouraging, but we can't doom these poor dwarves to their certain death. And there's always a chance of were-beast getting inside before the gates are sealed, so our best bet is to fight it outside. Nothing a properly coordinated geometrical squad formation couldn't solve!

*Tries to sneak out of the room*

*Grabs Kalin by the ear* [

] You scoundrel! Are you supposed the guard kaptain here, you rat? Your komrades are fighting for their life outside while you and your bunch of ball-less beard-less hooligans are hiding under their mamas' skirts? Organize a rescue operation immideately! I count to one, pussy, or else I'm gonna call you the chosen one and kick outside 'till you bring me a GECKo pelt!

 

[vazha]

*Tries to sneak out of the room*

*Grabs Kalin by the ear* [

] You scoundrel! Are you supposed the guard kaptain here, you rat? Your komrades are fighting for their life outside while you and your bunch of ball-less beard-less hooligans are hiding under their mamas' skirts? Organize a rescue operation immideately! I count to one, pussy, or else I'm gonna call you the chosen one and kick outside 'till you bring me a GECKo pelt!

Das Rite!

 

[Andnjord]

All my charcoal is outside? How am I supposed to work and create the masterful creations that will arm our glorious army if all my charcoal is outside! Sound the bugles and slay that foul beast!

Real answer: Werecreatures don't stay transformed forever, just lock the door, wait for it to transform back to human (or whatever its original race is) then open back the doors to smash its face. Then move all the charcoal back in and lock it back up to escape the elf rape. And start digging deeper, I need me some better material than copper!

EDIT: In before Baud singlehandedly defeats the weregecko in personal combat but gets infected and has to be locked in a cell. Because THAT would be fitting for KKK.

REDIT:

Spoiler

just let me have some moderate pretensions of grandeur

Alas, my product is both exquisite in quality and extremely expensive, and thus only a handful of dwarves can truly appreciate my craft, not to mention afford it.

Yup, went exactly as expected

 

[Kalarion]

Oh it's on! CHARGE!

 

[Citizen]

Yup, went exactly as expected

Yeah, it's uncanny how Grimwulf did a spot-on impression of irl me with that dorf character. I feel watched. Creepy.

Where-where exactly in the russian gubmint do you work, kommissar?

 

[Grimwulf]

Not sure about the minor offender thingie tho, too creepy methinks.

I don't know WHAT was the thing you imagined, and I sure do NOT wanna know, but Andnjord was referring to this:

Spoiler

You are the only dwarf who does that. Stahp. Hugging someone who is not your wife will only lead you to working double shifts.

Someone must pull the damn lever

I can do it.

Anyone can do it, Brainhead - it's not quantum physics. Normally the dwarf closest to the lever pulls it.

Then move all the charcoal back in and lock it back up to escape the elf rape.

I doubt it can be done easily. Too much hauling jobs scheduled here in Redlabored.

I'd have to manually forbid all the boulder/furniture/stone block/whatever-other-shit, then disable all jobs except hauling, then give the dwarves enough time to haul charcoal. Our manager is Emmy right now. I don't think she is capable of organizing this. Gonna take us months. Might as well leave the gates wide open, elves be damned.

Also, we have about 1/3 of current charcoal stored inside. More than enough for processing those tiny bits of copper we possess.

And start digging deeper, I need me some better material than copper!

That's up to Emmy. Political choices coming right after we deal with weregecko.

Digging deeper means slowing down, if not halting completely, the digging of Redlabored.

I say fight.

our best bet is to fight it outside.

CHARGE!

Someone will get PTSD if you keep voting like that.

Me.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Hell NO.

Seal it. For now.

 

[Reinhardt]

Anyone can do it, Brainhead - it's not quantum physics. Normally the dwarf closest to the lever pulls it.

Hey, don't trivialize heroic sacrifice!

 

[Kalarion]

Have to stay in character. Hopefully everyone else dogpiles and the voting keeps my insanity from destroying us all.

 

[vazha]

Dammit, did read the update again and I was literally in stitches after that 14 centuries quip and Catacombs introduction.
Btw, why dont we send Catacombs to this wereperson as a bait/sacrifice/snack? It's not like he's not going to die on our hands any minute now.

 

[baud]

In-character (and irl), I would run for my life. But since the fortress require a sacrifice to have a chance to survive, I will offer my life, so that the Kommisar has a chance to achieve his vision! Kommunism will be built on the bodies of the workers who gave their life to the cause!

Spoiler

Update was great! I have no regrets!

 

[Grimwulf]

Btw, why dont we send Catacombs to this wereperson as a bait/sacrifice/snack? It's not like he's not going to die on our hands any minute now.

He's too far away, and so are the others. Again, werebeasts are very fast. Baud and Unib are the only ones who can make a difference.

In-character (and irl), I would run for my life. But since the fortress require a sacrifice to have a chance to survive

Let me throw a die for Unib.

1 - runs for his life
2 - fights the beast together with Baud

Edit: Unib joins Baud in his sacrifice

 

[Reinhardt]

In-character (and irl), I would run for my life. But since the fortress require a sacrifice to have a chance to survive, I will offer my life, so that the Kommisar has a chance to achieve his vision! Kommunism will be built on the bodies of the workers who gave their life to the cause!

Spoiler

Update was Great!

Try to talk with it. Maybe your dwarf will find friend. First.

 

[tindrli]

OPTION 2 IS THE WAY TO GO.
Comunists would never EVER pull that lever

 

[Citizen]

Btw, why dont we send Catacombs to this wereperson as a bait/sacrifice/snack? It's not like he's not going to die on our hands any minute now.

Oh look, mr. auto-tan-and-eyeliner talking! No respect for the elderly in this place. Gotta get your dwarfosterone/elfstrogen levels checked, darling!

 

[baud]

What Baud is imagining vs what's going to actually happen.

 

[Andnjord]

I doubt it can be done easily. Too much hauling jobs scheduled here in Redlabored.

I'd have to manually forbid all the boulder/furniture/stone block/whatever-other-shit, then disable all jobs except hauling, then give the dwarves enough time to haul charcoal. Our manager is Emmy right now. I don't think she is capable of organizing this. Gonna take us months. Might as well leave the gates wide open, elves be damned.

Also, we have about 1/3 of current charcoal stored inside. More than enough for processing those tiny bits of copper we possess.

Ok, then Option 1. Close the gate until I've been given enough time to forge masterwork weapons for everyone is my vote. What do you mean prolebashers need armor too? I will produce the most legendary weapons dwarfendom has ever seen, they wont even need armor when I'm done.

Spoiler

I can see what you're thinking already you drunken slav, don't make my urist refuse to forge armor, just make him grumble about it

 

[Storyfag]

Seal the city. Contain the spread of misinformation. Do not let the people undermine the fruits of their labour.

 

[Bliblablubb]

Oh come on, it's just a weregecko... let me charge mah lazor and..... wait...
Oooooooooooooooh.
Sad.
Not even a wooden one?

Guess I'll vote for pulling the lever then. Being locked up in a dark, cold and moist place will make it easier to make lots of ice crea---

What is "ice cream"?

Welp my mission is set then: if we surive this, I will create ice cream of the highest quality, depicting our heroic fight against the lever.

 

[hello friend]

PULL THE LEVER

ITS TIME TO LIVE IN ISOLATION

NORTH KOREA STYLE

 

[Catacombs]

Dammit, did read the update again and I was literally in stitches after that 14 centuries quip and Catacombs introduction.
Btw, why dont we send Catacombs to this wereperson as a bait/sacrifice/snack? It's not like he's not going to die on our hands any minute now.

I didn't know I finally got into this story. Wtf is happening?