Competition D:OS 2 Fundraiser: Design the Codex NPC!

[Executr]

A blonde troll that gives you a quest to kill his pink-haired neighbor gang, who are trying to stop him from building a wall on his bridge, so that the orks may not pass.

 

[Durandal]

I always preferred Skedok (emaGgniyalPeloR) over Grog, but anyways

Skedok can initially be found under a bridge after you hear rumors of people being harassed with questions about weird concepts such as 'balance' and 'choice and consequences'
Upon encountering Skedok, he'll only let you pass if you answer several questions about the nature of role-playing games, albeit in a subtle manner; for (a poor) example:
"What's it that makes ye feel alive? Do ye want to see the world and the sheep dwelling on it react to every lil' thing ye do, that the reactions of yer peers is enough to know you exist? Or do ye only want to make the most outta every teeny tiny thing ye can do and will do, to bend and break the rules to yer will, with no regards for consequences while ye still draw breath?"
"Is it not that through clashing swords and exchanging blows we have the most fun, or do ye truly believe there's some excitement to be had outta talking and reading?"
"Do ye always take on life one step at a time, always carefully considering all options at hand before making a move, or do ye just let everything happen at once while time revolves around ye like the eye of a storm?"
Skedok also comes with gender/race-specific insults,

The kicker being that Skedok has a retort to any options you pick, whether you're a storyfag or combatfag, meaning you can never truly win. There's a third option reserved for shitposting, and a fourth Int/Wis/Speech/Cha/whatever option reserved for actually disproving Skedok's arguments and infuriating him to the point of Skedok becoming the Avatar of Butthurt. In any case, he'll smugly deride you no matter what you do (if you don't piss him off), and you can even concede (before taking Skedok by surprise while he's gloating). If you want to pass the bridge by force, or if you piss him off, it's fighting time.
In combat, Skedok can throw shit at you (or the closest thing possible), scream loudly, throw dice at your feet which function as caltrops, and brofist you (in the face).

 

[Lady_Error]

Name: Grog

Personality: Always insulting, remembering the good old days when everything was better.

Quest: Retrieve an old Grimoire from an ancient scribe who has been writing it for 200 years. Supposedly it contains all the secrets to bring back the glory of the old days for the trolls. Grog says that the player will end up in a magical prison called Prosperium if this quest is not completed.

 

[Wayward Son]

Name: Grog

Personality: Always insulting, remembering the good old days when everything was better.

Quest: Retrieve an old Grimoire from an ancient scribe who has been writing it for 200 years. Supposedly it contains all the secrets to bring back the glory of the old days for the trolls. Grog says that the player will end up in a magical prison called Prosperium if this quest is not completed.

Okay yes, that must be the quest.

 

[Wayward Son]

This thread is fuckinng amazing. A treasure trove of self-awareness.

 

[HoboForEternity]

Design the quest around helping him luring innocent newb adventurer and scamming them

 

[Excidium II]

Make it unkillable.

 

[Icewater]

So based off the thread so far, how about something like this: Troll named Grog, accosts you and is very insulting in a sarcastic and humorous way. You can't permanently kill him, if you do kill him he just comes back later as if nothing happened and when asked mumbles something about "troll regeneration" and it being impossible to kill a "truly dedicated troll." Has some short quest for you, won't go away until you do it. Reward for putting up with his bullshit and doing the quest is something definitely useful but not overpowered and finally getting some damn peace.

 

[Kev Inkline]

So based off the thread so far, how about something like this: Troll named Grog, accosts you and is very insulting in a sarcastic and humorous way. You can't permanently kill him, if you do kill him he just comes back later as if nothing happened and when asked mumbles something about "troll regeneration" and it being impossible to kill a "truly dedicated troll." Has some short quest for you, won't go away until you do it. Reward for putting up with his bullshit and doing the quest is something definitely useful but not overpowered and finally getting some damn peace.

Well, the quest item could be the nard board, so your task is to fetch it for him. After receiving the board, Grog would leave you alone and begin a never-ending schitzophrenic dialogue whether or not the board and the game he just received is actually good or not. And makes it a game, or is it a game at all. He'd be too preoccupied to bother the player evermore.

"It has good design....a lot of pieces that you have to move intricately, each player moves his pieces on his own turn...WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH, THE WHOLE BOARD CANNOT EVEN STAY BALANCED ON AN EVEN SURFACE....they sure don't make games like they used to do...*pant pant, mumble* ..but...but..you get to choose which pieces move and when...is ther too much color in the game pieces? WHO CARES WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, THE LOOKS DON'T MAKE THE GAME INTERESTING....*grumble grumble*....where did I leave my old game board...was it in the basement?..Whoever came up with this game surely has not played the old ones....Furthermore I consider that the elves must be destroyed. ..."

 

[Wayward Son]

He must be incredibly schizophrenic and forget about an insult the next time you offer him some small pittance, while his alternate personality mumbles about past wrongdoings and a certain "Brian, who is in exile."

 

[Tigranes]

Zombra's idea is simple and it works, with no cringey fanboy manflesh lusting or obscure nonsense character.

 

[Bubbles]

It may be too silly by Larian's standards. The ideal submission would be very sober, grim and dry, with no obvious meta humor or real life references.

 

[Wayward Son]

You could make him be a banished Jarl of a faraway land and have his name be Frank. Have his quest be somehow related to regaining his place of honor in the Codex, a small place they gather knowledge (never had to be seen, only implied). Have the plot relate to some close dead family member or something.

 

[Zombra]

Zombra's idea is simple and it works, with no cringey fanboy manflesh lusting or obscure nonsense character.

It may be too silly by Larian's standards.

Well if we don't want silly ideas there's almost no point in talking about it, but my basic template could easily be made grim. A troll that never dies, asks questions that have no answers, who twists your words and always ends up attacking no matter what you say, who sometimes sounds lucid but then lapses into rage and madness, who finally surrenders but goes back on his word and returns to try to kill you again ... pretty dark if you want to spin it that way. However the writers want to color it is fine - it's the structure that's important.

 

[Bubbles]

Well if we don't want silly ideas there's almost no point in talking about it, but my basic template could easily be made grim. A troll that never dies, asks questions that have no answers, who twists your words and always ends up attacking no matter what you say, who sometimes sounds lucid but then lapses into rage and madness, who finally surrenders but goes back on his word and returns to try to kill you again ... pretty dark if you want to spin it that way. However the writers want to color it is fine - it's the structure that's important.

Yeah, that sounds good to me (though I'm not on the secret jury - as far as I know). The main thing to keep in mind is that Larian ruled out a return of the Codex imps because they were deemed too silly for the setting of D:OS 2. So anything that's as silly as the average imp has a poor chance of winning our ~fantastic prize~.

 

[mediocrepoet]

Grog is actually a pretty good name.

Recurring villain. Always has a dialogue with the PC, and whatever the PC says, he gets angry, contradicts him, and attacks. Important: dialogues may be simple, or they may be very complex, but there is no winning in conversation with him, except perhaps to ignore him and walk past. He will always attack. He may be lucid and even eloquent one sentence and rage-fueled incoherent the next.

The PC can never kill him but eventually he will "rage quit" and give a monologue about how he's too smart and cool to hang around here any more and he's leaving for good. And then he stays right where he is and the PC can come back and fight him again at any time.

Example dialogue:

Grog: Hey, you. Is day night?

1. Yes, day is night.
Grog: Day isn't night, you idiot! <attacks>

2. No, day is day and night is night.
Grog: Of course day is night! Fuck you! <attacks>

3. What a stupid question.
Grog: What are you doing here if you don't care about day and night? Infidel! <attacks>

4. kingcomrade
Grog: I don't even know what that means any more. <attacks>

You managed to distill posting on the Codex to its purest form.

 

[Tigranes]

Really. Because literally everything Larian ever wrote was silly, and everything they wrote seriously was shit.

 

[oldmanpaco]

I think the troll should have some sort of large hat to shade him from the sun and maybe be a little bit sleepy.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Name: Kodex the Bane of Scale.

Gender: Male
Facial Hair: Bearded
Behaviour: Asshole
Appearance: When you need demoralizng the least, like before, after and/or during every major fight, and randomly during the game.
Interaction: Comments on how bad your build is and how shit your tactics are, irrespective of what those tactics are, during a boss fight, may appear to give conflicting advice about the boss and tactics required. Can be temporary banished by either stating: "You don't even know what you don't know", or "What is a Role (playing game)?"
Can be permanently added to player's team if they find magic rune letters throughout the game and arrange them to spell hopw roewur ne.
Carries a grimoire that seems incomplete, and a sword named Honourblade. And a shield named the Other Honour.
EDIT: Oh, and attacks any Lizard people in the party, accusing them of too much scaling.

 

[Fry]

An angry little know-it-all who hates everyone and everything, including himself.

Spends most of his time pushing an old log around with a stick. Because hoops are for newfag casuals.

Spoiler

 

[Cadmus]

Grog is a retarded as shit name. I like a Miltiades incarnate. Or somebody who always knows better than you but lapses into insanity from time to time. No fucking meta references and no fucking Sir Lord Wasteland-Pillars-Suck-I-LikeAvellone-C'Odex.

 

[Feyd Rautha]

Should have the same personality as comic book guy. And maybe comment on your dialog lines? Worst dialog ever!
Worst setting ever! And so on

 

[Bumvelcrow]

A veteran of a war long since lost, unable to let go of the past, blaming later generations for failing to uphold the standards and goals that drove the conflict. Suffers from PTSD and is alternately aggressive and maudlin. Occasional glimpses of hope in conversation but soon slumps back into despair, citing issues with the current regime, or possibly micro-issues.

If you complete his quest he will call you a fag and ignore you. If you don't he will just laugh and go back to his muttering, occasionally pointing at you and calling you a 'Fargo' to his invisible audience. Experience points gained for putting him out of his misery.

 

[taxalot]

Make the troll argue that we should have the gameworld being made great again, that the events of the first game never actually happened and are a conspiracy by a faction to make profit from it, make him question the player's gender identity, and have him tell he's from an alternate post-apocalyptic dimension where everything is shit and lore isn't respected.

 

[Sitra Achara]

You encounter a diminutive troll whose arms are both severed. He doesnt engage you in meaningful conversation at first, save for abusive invective.
Hidden in the bushes next to him lies the fresh corpse of a foolish lone adventurer, who nonetheless managed to sever the troll's hand with his weapon, the Sword of Fate. It's a rusty looking piece of scrap, which causes you to wonder how it could manage to sever a rotten cucumber, let alone a troll's arm. The troll mentions it has a special activation method, and when you press the question of how to to do so, he just smirks.