Baldur's Gate Baldur's Gate 3 Early Access Thread [GAME RELEASED, GO TO NEW THREAD]

[Lodis]

Can we make/hire custom characters during the campaign because I know for a fact that I'm going to end up killing most if not all of the companions before the first act is done. The gay vampire and the frog bitch are probably going to be the first ones to go.

 

[Luka-boy]

The non-coomer paladin comics are fun and humanity-pilled.

 

[Grunker]

Can we make/hire custom characters during the campaign

Yes

 

[Theodora]

I can't believe I make high-effort porn, when I can just make low effort porn for more money.

You're not alone at least. Half of the best (visual) artists I know of seem to have taken to producing smut for the patreon crowd. (Can't really blame them given how absurdly undervalued artists are outside of that uh, field.)

 

[Barbarian]

The only acceptable way to play this game is a full party of Paladins.

Meet an evil frog woman: purge.
Meet an evil cleric of Shar: purge.
Meet an evil vampire elf: purge.
Meet a one-eyed Warlock: purge.
Meet some weird magic using criminal who steals magic items: purge.
Meet a bunch of demonic-looking people, including a demonic barbarian with a Mary Sue heart: purge.
Meet druidic heathens: purge.
Meet goblins and a negro elf: purge.
Meet weird drag queen self-insert who--ACK: purge.

Paladin dark urge who succumbs to carnal temptation with Shadowhore and Burlack, but has post coom clarity and delivers them violent justice afterwards.

 

[Ryzer]

How it (doesn't) work in France
My dear fellows.

I assume that most of you are from USA and UK.

Thus, let me explain how working conditions are in France. We have 5 weeks of paid vacation per year for everyone. Plus, we are not "allowed" to work more than 35 hours a week (thanks to our former politicians who were left wing). If we do so, then we have extra paid vacation : as for me for example, I got +11 days off because I work 39 hours per week.
On top of that of course, it is extremely difficult for a employer to fire an employee : you get fired only if you do a very serious thing like taking a ♥♥♥♥ on the desk of the office, or go to jail.

All that to say how it is going to happen for me with Baldur Gate 3 : I'm teleworking now and because of August and our HUMONGOUS amount of paid vacation, 3/4 of my company is on vacation. I'm an executive (in urban planning) so I'm responsible of my work. What I do is:
- from tomorrow to next Friday, I'm tele"working" : I dont take paid vacation during this week but in reality I will play all day long for 1 week at BG3;
- then the next week I will take my holidays ;
- then at the end of August, everybody in my company will come back progressively and things will go back to normal smoothly.

That's how it's working in France in August: nobody works (even if you are supposed to), nobody gives a ♥♥♥♥ and the wage is still coming at the end of the month.

Does anybody have any questions ?

https://steamcommunity.com/app/1086940/discussions/0/3808408328757032256/?ctp=2

 

[frajaq]

sex with Shadowheart

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

I'm an executive (in urban planning)

 

[Crispy]

Dear Baldur's Gate 3 player,

It appears as if you might be confused about your sexual orientation. It's okay; we, here at Larian, are here to help.

It's normal for these feelings to surface, especially while playing our game. Your safety and security are our highest concerns and priorities.

If you are under the age of fourteen, good news! Your transition to the opposite of whatever your assigned gender at birth is FREE and can be completed in complete confidence, without your parents even knowing! Just contact your local Democratic National Convention office in your city or town and mention to them CODE-14.

If you're over the age of eighteen and/or you don't live in the United States, well, then we recommend just masturbating more often.

Thank you,

- Larian Studios

 

[Crispy]

Okay, I will accept that meh rating.

That wasn't my funniest.

 

[Child of Malkav]

Meet weird drag queen self-insert who--ACK: purge.

No need for that. They purge themselves quite successfully.

 

[La vie sexuelle]

Okay, I will accept that meh rating.

That wasn't my funniest.

You are lonly man, Crispy.

 

[Zeriel]

The only acceptable way to play this game is a full party of Paladins.

Meet an evil frog woman: purge.
Meet an evil cleric of Shar: purge.
Meet an evil vampire elf: purge.
Meet a one-eyed Warlock: purge.
Meet some weird magic using criminal who steals magic items: purge.
Meet a bunch of demonic-looking people, including a demonic barbarian with a Mary Sue heart: purge.
Meet druidic heathens: purge.
Meet goblins and a negro elf: purge.
Meet weird drag queen self-insert who--ACK: purge.

A cleric of Bhaal is canonically way more based than a paladin. A paladin has to "fall" and fuck up their oath to be based. A cleric of Bhaal is based from the beginning. Being "good" in modern D&D means being degenerate/treating monsters "equally".

Le 5e paladin: "Oh no we must save the children of beings of pure, cosmic evil!"

The chad 5e Bhaalist: "If it lives, we shiv."

 

[Herumor]

A cleric of Bhaal

I imagine playing a Cleric of Bhaal as Dark Urge would go along nicely. And would be funny as hell if it does turn out you're either an amnesiac Bhaal or a new generation of Bhaalspawn.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

A paladin has to "fall" and fuck up their oath to be based.

Disagree. A paladin purges evil and lawbreakers. Deviants break the laws of nature.

Then just spam detect evil and kill everything in sight. Such are the times we live in.

 

[Crispy]

A paladin doesn't "purge" anything. You read too much Warhammer.

A paladin is the embodiment of justice. Justice doesn't always come in the form of death. A righteous paladin will only slay an opponent who is truly evil and irredeemable; demons, evil creatures, beings that know nothing but evil can never repent and thus must be eliminated.

But killing a fellow sentient creature without due process? This is not the role of the paladin. Murder is an evil act.

 

[Zombra]

Paladins are fighters who have to be Lawful Good and stick to it. That's it.

The Paladin
A paladin character is a fighter sub-class, but unlike normal fighters, all
paladins must begin as lawful good in alignment (q.v.) and always remain
lawful good or absolutely lose all of the special powers which are given to
them. They have both fighting abilities and limited spell powers (at high
level). To become a paladin a character must be human, have a strength
of not less than 12, a minimum intelligence of 9, a wisdom of 13 or more, a
minimum constitution of 9, and not less than 17 charisma. If a paladin has
both strength and wisdom in excess of 15, he or she gains the benefit of
adding 10% to the experience points owarded by the Dungeon Master.
Law and good deeds are the meat and drink of paladins. If they ever
knowingly perform an act which is chaotic in nature, they must seek a high
level (7th or above) cleric of lawful good alignment, confess their sin, and
do penance as prescribed by the cleric. If a paladin should ever knowingly
and willingly perform an evil act, he or she loses the status of paladinhood
immediately and irrevocably. All benefits are then lost, and no deed or
magic can restore the character to palodinhood; he or she is everafter a
fighter.

Oh wait y'all are talking about 5E, I don't know anything about that cartoony boardgame foolishness.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Oh wait y'all are talking about 5E, I don't know anything about that cartoony boardgame foolishness.

Exactly. All Paladins should purge degenerates, and the lesser races. If tranny pride parades in Waterdeep are canon, then this can be too.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Okay, I will accept that meh rating.

That wasn't my funniest.

Too close to the depressing reality to be very funny, sadly.

 

[Tyranicon]

I'm currently working on two separate games where paladins lead death squads, so I'm looking forward to RP'ing that in BG3.

 

[Shaki]

Oh wait y'all are talking about 5E, I don't know anything about that cartoony boardgame foolishness.

Exactly. All Paladins should purge degenerates, and the lesser races. If tranny pride parades in Waterdeep are canon, then this can be too.

... Please tell me this is a joke and pride parades in Waterdeep are not actually canon. At this point I honestly don't know anymore.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

... Please tell me this is a joke and pride parades in Waterdeep are not actually canon. At this point I honestly don't know anymore.

This is why I say none of the rules matter anymore. 5E is already a tranny larp.

 

[Zeriel]

A paladin has to "fall" and fuck up their oath to be based.

Disagree. A paladin purges evil and lawbreakers. Deviants break the laws of nature.

Then just spam detect evil and kill everything in sight. Such are the times we live in.

Except the game itself is telling you you are breaking your oath and being evil when you do that.

 

[Tyranicon]

But gods have genders.

 

[Shaki]

... Please tell me this is a joke and pride parades in Waterdeep are not actually canon. At this point I honestly don't know anymore.

This is why I say none of the rules matter anymore. 5E is already a tranny larp.

Jesus fucking christ, I knew WotC went to shit, but I really didn't think it was THAT bad. What's next, BLM protests in Baldur's Gate?