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Why D&D 2e is the BEST edition ever.

Zed Duke of Banville

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Not coincidentally, both the chocolate golem and the chia golem appeared in an April issue of Dragon Magazine (#228, April 1996, to be precise), which for a long time in honor of April Fool's Day had ostensibly humorous articles that were all but useless to a DM.
 

Cryomancer

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and I probably missed a few others.

Imagine a Polonium golem, not considering the complexity of crafting such servant and the dangers which he will posses to his master, how anyone even fight such creature.

), which for a long time in honor of April Fool's Day had ostensibly humorous articles that were all but useless to a DM.

Yep. Unless is a extremely entitled kid ruler demanding it, why even make something expensive as an golem from such weak and perishable material? The main advantage of golems is that htey can continue serving your heirs for generations to come, till destroyed.
 

Alex

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and I probably missed a few others.

Imagine a Polonium golem, not considering the complexity of crafting such servant and the dangers which he will posses to his master, how anyone even fight such creature.
(...)

+3 full plate mail of lead. Or cast a shield of radioactive flame.

Not coincidentally, both the chocolate golem and the chia golem appeared in an April issue of Dragon Magazine (#228, April 1996, to be precise), which for a long time in honor of April Fool's Day had ostensibly humorous articles that were all but useless to a DM.

Those April Fools issues of old magazines could be pretty cool. I remember The Rifter got a particularly good one.

Edit: Also, I have to say I like the way they approach humour with these April Fools golems. Rather than going for the low hanging fruit of just making them ridiculous or even just puns, they take a silly concept but try to present as something that could really exist (in a high magic world, at least). To be fair, I do think giving the deluxe chocolate golem a breath weapon of some sweet or other might be taking it a tad too far, but still, pretty good.
 
Last edited:

Cryomancer

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+3 full plate mail of lead. Or cast a shield of radioactive flame.

That would just reduce the radiation received. But if healing magic can heal the effects of radiation, clerics can be useful. IF undeads are immune vs radiation, animating a bunch of them can be useful.

I? I would dig a very deep hole "cover" it, making a hole trap. and use a summoned creature to try to lure him to a trap while I'm as far away as possible to him(that strategy would't work depending on the golem instructions) . Unless he can climb or dig holes, I'm safe from him. IDK if such golem would have high MR or not, so I would't be risking blasting him with spells. If there is powder in the setting I also would use summons/undeads to throw some barrels of blackpowder in the hole and cast any long range fire based spell.

-------------------

About the site with 2e creatures, I looked, searched GOLEM and 52 entries >> https://www.completecompendium.com/appendix/

Elemental has 56 entries.

So elementals are the creatures with most subtypes. Even if we don't consider Marid/Djin/Dao/Efreets as one.
 
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MerchantKing

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golem-chocolate.png
Looks tasty.
 

gatorized

Literate
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Why Prowlers and Paragons is the best system ever :
  • No lethality. The GM has to come up with more interesting consequences than "you die". You don't have to stop playing because you didn't spend 30 minutes figuring out the optimal action every turn.
  • Numbers mostly don't change, no autistic spreadsheet tracking instead of playing the game.
  • No classes, you can just make the character you want to make.
  • You can be any sort of race and have any kind of occupation and motivation as long as you pay for the benefits. There are no arbitrary restrictions that don't make sense because the designer assumed everyone wants to play in the same dull fantasy world.
  • The best setting is the one you imagine with your friends.
  • Everyone can meaningfully contribute no matter what sort of character they make. There are no trap options.
  • Best of all, no dumb baggage from the worst designer of all time, Gygax.
 

JamesDixon

GM Extraordinaire
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In the ether
Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut
Why Prowlers and Paragons is the best system ever :
  • No lethality. The GM has to come up with more interesting consequences than "you die". You don't have to stop playing because you didn't spend 30 minutes figuring out the optimal action every turn.
  • Numbers mostly don't change, no autistic spreadsheet tracking instead of playing the game.
  • No classes, you can just make the character you want to make.
  • You can be any sort of race and have any kind of occupation and motivation as long as you pay for the benefits. There are no arbitrary restrictions that don't make sense because the designer assumed everyone wants to play in the same dull fantasy world.
  • The best setting is the one you imagine with your friends.
  • Everyone can meaningfully contribute no matter what sort of character they make. There are no trap options.
  • Best of all, no dumb baggage from the worst designer of all time, Gygax.
 

gatorized

Literate
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Nov 9, 2023
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You're right, I'm like Gordon Ramsay; I also am unfortunately unable to force others to accept the gift of my superior taste and enlightenment.
 

agris

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Apr 16, 2004
Messages
6,927
Why Prowlers and Paragons is the best system ever :
  • No lethality. The GM has to come up with more interesting consequences than "you die". You don't have to stop playing because you didn't spend 30 minutes figuring out the optimal action every turn.
  • Numbers mostly don't change, no autistic spreadsheet tracking instead of playing the game.
  • No classes, you can just make the character you want to make.
  • You can be any sort of race and have any kind of occupation and motivation as long as you pay for the benefits. There are no arbitrary restrictions that don't make sense because the designer assumed everyone wants to play in the same dull fantasy world.
  • The best setting is the one you imagine with your friends.
  • Everyone can meaningfully contribute no matter what sort of character they make. There are no trap options.
  • Best of all, no dumb baggage from the worst designer of all time, Gygax.
It’s literally participation award: the TT system
 

Cryomancer

Arcane
Glory to Ukraine
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
17,012
Location
Frostfell
Why Prowlers and Paragons is the best system ever :
  • No lethality. The GM has to come up with more interesting consequences than "you die". You don't have to stop playing because you didn't spend 30 minutes figuring out the optimal action every turn.
  • Numbers mostly don't change, no autistic spreadsheet tracking instead of playing the game.
  • No classes, you can just make the character you want to make.
  • You can be any sort of race and have any kind of occupation and motivation as long as you pay for the benefits. There are no arbitrary restrictions that don't make sense because the designer assumed everyone wants to play in the same dull fantasy world.
  • The best setting is the one you imagine with your friends.
  • Everyone can meaningfully contribute no matter what sort of character they make. There are no trap options.
  • Best of all, no dumb baggage from the worst designer of all time, Gygax.

Is this the new 6e from WoTC? Seems extremely boring.
 

Zed Duke of Banville

Dungeon Master
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Joined
Oct 3, 2015
Messages
13,104
Why Prowlers and Paragons is the best system ever :
  • No lethality. The GM has to come up with more interesting consequences than "you die". You don't have to stop playing because you didn't spend 30 minutes figuring out the optimal action every turn.
  • Numbers mostly don't change, no autistic spreadsheet tracking instead of playing the game.
  • No classes, you can just make the character you want to make.
  • You can be any sort of race and have any kind of occupation and motivation as long as you pay for the benefits. There are no arbitrary restrictions that don't make sense because the designer assumed everyone wants to play in the same dull fantasy world.
  • The best setting is the one you imagine with your friends.
  • Everyone can meaningfully contribute no matter what sort of character they make. There are no trap options.
  • Best of all, no dumb baggage from the worst designer of all time, Gygax.
codex_whatthehellamireading.png
 

Caim

Arcane
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
17,415
Location
Dutchland
Why Prowlers and Paragons is the best system ever :
  • No lethality. The GM has to come up with more interesting consequences than "you die". You don't have to stop playing because you didn't spend 30 minutes figuring out the optimal action every turn.
  • Numbers mostly don't change, no autistic spreadsheet tracking instead of playing the game.
  • No classes, you can just make the character you want to make.
  • You can be any sort of race and have any kind of occupation and motivation as long as you pay for the benefits. There are no arbitrary restrictions that don't make sense because the designer assumed everyone wants to play in the same dull fantasy world.
  • The best setting is the one you imagine with your friends.
  • Everyone can meaningfully contribute no matter what sort of character they make. There are no trap options.
  • Best of all, no dumb baggage from the worst designer of all time, Gygax.
For context, this is the cover of Prowlers & Paragons:

346742.jpg


Doesn't really look like a fantasy RPG to me.
 

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