So I played a bunch of smaller missions that I will now post impressions about. None of them are anything special though, so don't expect something spectacular.
Cashing In:
This is a competently made but overall unremarkable mansion mission. It was the dude's first FM (says so in the readme) and considering that, it's really solid. The architecture and creative use of the original textures are the highlights of this FM.
The downside?
Key- and switch-hunting. The first key you need is on a dude's belt, which is entirely fine. Open the door it unlocks, go in, lockpick a safe for money, get another key from the desk. Unlock a door on the ground floor with the key, go down into the basement where there's a diary on a desk and a box with more loot. Ok, nice. Now comes the retarded part. Hidden behind the desk is a switch. I had no idea what it opened. I checked a walkthrough, and the switch that is in the basement opens a secret compartment back in the 1st floor (European first floor, as in, above ground floor), in the room with the safe where you found the key that opened the basement door.
And of course, the item you need to steal is inside that secret compartment.
On a plus side, the writing makes you feel like a dick cause the mansion owner's diary mentions that he's in debt and the collectors are coming to take what he owes, and he can barely pay his debt with the gold he has in the house. The gold you just stole. He also fears for his family because h has some additional debts with the thieves guild... yes, additional. The gold he has is barely enough to pay for his regular debts with people who don't break your legs if you don't pay, and on top of that he also has debts with the thieves guild.
And you just stole everything of value he had in his house.
Also, the kitchen (which for some reason is hidden behind a secret switch) has the most neatly stacked apples ever:
My overall rating: 5.5/10 cause it's a competently made mission dragged down only by the retarded switch. There's not too much to praise about it but neither is there anything it does utterly wrong (except for that switch), so an average rating like this is the most appropriate for it.
Chasse A L'Homme:
This is a small city FM made by some French dude in collaboration with
DrKubiac (at least I assume the "Kubiac" mentioned in the readme is the same as DrK).
It's not bad, but it's not good either due to a few issues.
The architecture and design of the level itself are solid enough. Nothing stellar, but solid. There are some ladders around that let you climb on roofs, and you can jump and mantle at some places too which gives it some solid exploration for its small size. There are some problems though.
- You need a key to get into the blacksmith's store, where you can get a sword (Which is an optional mission goal). This key is on a bunch of boxes and there's no indication that you should look there, so I had to consult a walkthrough.
- This is the only key in the mission and it opens all stores in the town. That still leaves some un-pickable doors that have no keys. You can enter these buildings through windows, and you have to exit by the same route as there are no keys for these doors. You CAN smash them open with the sword though. There is one room that is only accessible by bashing down the door - there is absolutely nothing in there, but it still annoyed me since there are two frobbable doors that lead into the room, yet you cannot open them in any way other than sword-bashing. If you have an empty room that isn't supposed to be accessed, make the door unfrobbable ffs.
- One mission goal requires you to kill a dude. You can see him through a window, but you can't access that room in any way. Only way to kill him is shooting through the window. Heh.
What I liked about it is the colored lighting, which looks nice. Hey, I just like colored lighting, ok!
Overall rating: 5.5/10, solid mission dragged down by some dumb decisions.
We Miss You, Bob!
So I guess this is the most "average" FM I've ever played. It's a tiny - very, very tiny - mansion mission that has you start in a garden, break into a mansion... and rescue a baby. The mansion has a few rooms, a few guards, a few readables, and a secret switch that isn't all too hard to find, and it has a baby in a crib that is an inventory object that you have to get, and when you enter the room where it is kept you hear baby cries which is probably the weirdest experience I ever had in a Thief FM. Imagine you're taffing about, just minding your business, and suddenly you hear a baby cry. Yeah. It's weird.
And, well... that's all. Author wrote in the readme that it's his first FM, and that's pretty much all this is. Someone's first FM. It's tiny, it has all the basic Thief gameplay we know and love, but there's not much to it at all.
Rated it 5/10 because completely average and unremarkable is what it is. It does everything it does competently enough, doesn't make any major mistakes, but doesn't do anything amazing either. It's literally just a 5 minute coffee break mission.
Bestest FM Series
I tried to play these masterpieces by Sluggs because I thought "hey, why not try this shit out?"
My tip: don't.
These are just like most entries of the Total Crap contest. The first mission is the most entertaining one, actually, since it is the simplest and doesn't take away too much of your time.
You have a bow and 8000 arrows that look like cucumbers and have to kill a bunch of floating people with them. Yeah.
Mission 2 has you on a carnival where you have to find haunts and kill them. Highlight: a ghost train you can ride, and at various intervals it triggers screams from Garret to simulate him being scared by it. I gave up on this FM when I was catapulted up a large tower and the only way to get down again was to hit a faraway button with an arrow.
Mission 3 might be the worst of the bunch. You can pick up a crate that puts 500 crates into your inventory. Apparently you need to use these to kill Mechanists with. But I never made it that far because the mechanists are located so far away it takes you minutes of walking to get there. NOPE
Mission 4 might not even be completeable, as you need to throw people into a swimming pool and get 1600 loot but all the loot items I saw weren't frobbable. The people could all be picked up without knocking them out first (lol), but I also gave up on this FM when I realized there were more than a dozen people in the building and I'd have to carry each and every one of them to the swimming pool to throw them in.
Overall, this is just... yeah. They're pure troll missions, and they certainly are funny, but they're not fun to play in any way. The entertainment value entirely comes from the "oh god how did he come up with this shit" effect. Playing them for 3 minutes to see what's going on, then abandoning the thing before your attempt to seriously completely the mission goals wears you out, is the best way to play these.
Screenshots:
Annihilated
This mission, also by Sluggs, is much more entertaining than the Bestest FM series because it's not only silly and ridiculous, it's also not a chore to play.
Zombies have for some reason invaded your home and killed your wife. Now you must destroy them before they kill you.
In order to do that, you have to ghost for like 10 seconds in order to sneak behind a zombie wielding a glowstick and pick a key from his belt. That key opens the footlocker in your bedroom, where you find several fire arrows.
Then you proceed to blow the zombies to bits, and that's prety much it.
It's short. It's amusing. It's good for 10 minutes of having a laugh.
It also has balloons that are fun to throw around because they float upwards for a while before coming down again. Fun!
Rated it 6/10 because while it's nothing special, it's an entertaining little romp to go through.
And it has zombies with glowsticks. What's not to love?