Review RPG Codex Review: Darth Roxor on Disappointment, thy name is Pillars of Eternity

[Gangrelrumbler]

South Park was good, sure it wasn't deep or anything but it was fun. Perhaps Obsidian should seriously consider making a jRPG because I'm sure that South Park combat would blow Eternity's out of the water if it received as much effort, care and polishing. I mean sure, it was a popamole but only because it was a TV series adaptation aimed at causals. The fundamentals were solid.

Tim Cain pwns sawyer' sorry ass as expected.

Press X to fart.

It was actually Y.

 

[Ulminati]

Summary: Another overhyped thread with pathetic production values, zero planning and shitty balancing. Writing is rock-bottom level, characters are cliché, plot follows the best conventions of Shyamalan and CBS series to maximize plot twists and drama.

You need to buy the Dank Memes DLC if you want more pictures

 

[Grunker]

Let me add that Grunker had announced that he would pull out of his review duties if Roxor's review got published first.

Wat. Why? Grunker

Bubbles gonna Bubbles, he's just baiting

I said I didn't see the point in having two reviews, so I'd throw down the lazyness-card and withdraw if Roxor "took the job." However multiple people were in favor of two reviews so I thought "eh, what the hell."

 

[karnak]

All this nonsense because of a stupid game that will be almost forgotten in 20 years.

 

[Angthoron]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

General Discussion, Politics and Retardo Land RPG Codex DLC comes packed with various graphical upgrades, ranging from meme and emoticon spam to alluring pictures of pre- and post-op transsexuals, as well as various emotionally engaging drama.

This? This is freemium stuff.

 

[Eddas]

My review of the game is 7.357/10.

0.3 for graphics;
0.057 for voice acting;
7 for Josh.

 

[Johannes]

All this nonsense because of a stupid game that will be almost forgotten in 2 years.

Fixed. And still might be too generous.

 

[Kz3r0]

All this nonsense because of a stupid game that will be almost forgotten in 20 years.

Six months top.

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

alphaturd gate had butthurt http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/alphaturd-might-get-patched.45789/
TW2 review had butthurt http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/inde...ers-men-and-broche.61855/page-10#post-1720371

 

[Hatred]

wow you guys are the best. wtf was I doing with my life before I came to the codex >.<

 

[Ulrox]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

General Discussion, Politics and Retardo Land RPG Codex DLC comes packed with various graphical upgrades, ranging from meme and emoticon spam to alluring pictures of pre- and post-op transsexuals, as well as various emotionally engaging drama.

This? This is freemium stuff.

And for this you'd have to be a mod right...? Because If not I'd pay!

 

[Ellef]

wow you guys are the best. wtf was I doing with my life before I came to the codex >.<

I'm going to guess you were with the sycophantic nitwits at leddit and official forums. Many of us have been down that dark road once or twice.

 

[Angthoron]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

General Discussion, Politics and Retardo Land RPG Codex DLC comes packed with various graphical upgrades, ranging from meme and emoticon spam to alluring pictures of pre- and post-op transsexuals, as well as various emotionally engaging drama.

This? This is freemium stuff.

And for this you'd have to be a mod right...? Because If not I'd pay!

You have 3 months left til you get the "privilege" of viewing that. 1 year of membership or Patron status.

Protip: You probably want to steer clear of it for a bit.

 

[Cadmus]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

General Discussion, Politics and Retardo Land RPG Codex DLC comes packed with various graphical upgrades, ranging from meme and emoticon spam to alluring pictures of pre- and post-op transsexuals, as well as various emotionally engaging drama.

This? This is freemium stuff.

And for this you'd have to be a mod right...? Because If not I'd pay!

all the floodgates open one year from your join date and you better believe there's a pit of insanity waiting for you there

I can't believe all those wannabe hardcore super duper cRPG fans calling the review "an angry non-review rant" what the fuck have we come to?
This is even in this very thread!!! what the fuck! fanboys, horrible creatures...

 

[Jools]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

alphaturd gate had butthurt http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/alphaturd-might-get-patched.45789/
TW2 review had butthurt http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/inde...ers-men-and-broche.61855/page-10#post-1720371

Still, both games got exactly 10 pages of comments and degeneration, and that's over months. This one got to 44 pages in 3 days. The butthurt is strong with this one.

 

[Zorba the Hutt]

On a lighter note, just saw an amusing reaction to the review (/vision of the future):

Although I don't really agree with him (I had a good time with the game). This still has to be the best supported and well-argued for review I've seen for this game.

All the other reviews are just pseudo-nerds talking about "muh infinityengine nostalgia" and not much of anything else.

RPGCodex is literally the only honest RPG review source in my opinion. Does anyone know if they have enough pull to be listed on Metacritic?

What a world that would be!

 

[Ulminati]

And for this you'd have to be a mod right...? Because If not I'd pay!

wow you guys are the best. wtf was I doing with my life before I came to the codex >.<

The weird and wonderful realms of Retardoland, Prosper's Funhouse, GD and Politics can be yours for a small donation. I believe 30 silver shekels is the cutoff for a patron tag and oldfag access (I think it's $5. SOmeone else can correct me on this). Alternatively, you'll see them once you've been rigistered for a year.

 

[Jools]

Damn Angthoron I'm new around here so the thread is a fair amount of fun for me. I've literally read every post. Are you saying there are threads with this much butthurt but better quality graphics and writing ?

General Discussion, Politics and Retardo Land RPG Codex DLC comes packed with various graphical upgrades, ranging from meme and emoticon spam to alluring pictures of pre- and post-op transsexuals, as well as various emotionally engaging drama.

This? This is freemium stuff.

You forgot the mother of all cringe, the almighty Prosperland. It's free, I believe. Totally unlike the sessions of therapy and expensive meds you'll need after reading it.

 

[Angthoron]

And for this you'd have to be a mod right...? Because If not I'd pay!

wow you guys are the best. wtf was I doing with my life before I came to the codex >.<

The weird and wonderful realms of Retardoland, Prosper's Funhouse, GD and Politics can be yours for a small donation. I believe 30 silver shekels (or $5) is the cutoff for a patron tag and oldfag access. Alternatively, you'll see them once you've been rigistered for a year.

There's also Prosperland, free for casual viewing.

Edit: FFS, ninja'd by Jools

 

[Jools]

Somebody should review this thread

Content: TL;DR/10
Quality: 2/10
Writing: 4/10
Butthurt: 11/10
Entertainment: 5/10 initially fun but gets repetitive; new subplots introduce nothing new
Graphics: 0/10 minimal amount of pictures
Replayability: 7/10 would post again

Summary: Another overhyped thread with pathetic production values, zero planning and shitty balancing. Writing is rock-bottom level, characters are cliché, plot follows the best conventions of Shyamalan and CBS series to maximize plot twists and drama.

Despite the painful lack of custom portraits and the terrible C&C or lack thereof, the thread still manages to deliver, somehow. In that respect, it's better than PoE.

 

[Sensuki]

A game that has IE style combat, was mentioned as having IE style combat, causes 'shock, horror' in supposedly 'learned' Codexian reviewer and various acolytes that it has IE style combat.

Excuse me, but the combat is not IE style. The controls and camera are.

 

[Ulminati]

The weird and wonderful realms of Retardoland, Prosper's Funhouse, GD and Politics [...]

There's also Prosperland, free for casual viewing.

Edit: FFS, ninja'd by Jools

Ninjaed by the post you were quoting too

I think it also gives fisting privileges, but I honestly can't remember. Plus the potato can be used to remove ads. All in all, being a patron is good. Give all your money to Taluntain.

 

[Angthoron]

Somebody should review this thread

Content: TL;DR/10
Quality: 2/10
Writing: 4/10
Butthurt: 11/10
Entertainment: 5/10 initially fun but gets repetitive; new subplots introduce nothing new
Graphics: 0/10 minimal amount of pictures
Replayability: 7/10 would post again

Summary: Another overhyped thread with pathetic production values, zero planning and shitty balancing. Writing is rock-bottom level, characters are cliché, plot follows the best conventions of Shyamalan and CBS series to maximize plot twists and drama.

Despite the painful lack of custom portraits and the terrible C&C or lack thereof, the thread still manages to deliver, somehow. In that respect, it's better than PoE.

Oh, really?

Well let's take a closer look then. I didn't want to do it because it might hurt a lot of posters but fine. You made me do this.

Patriarchy of Engines
First, let's take a look at the engine. What do we have? It's the same old XenForo with some addons sprinkled on top. This is 2015 people, what the actual fuck. No in-house engine? I suppose it's alright to have this dated engine powering the debate if the other elements are strong though, so let's see how it fares.

Piles of Emptiness
The content of most of the posts is ridiculously lacking. It's either "I liked the review" or "Muh feels were hurt, pls call the ambulance for my butt", fucking seriously? This on the self-prided RPG Site of the Year? Yeah no, this won't ride, way things are going I see RPG Watch taking that title next year. Hell, maybe even DAC, if they pay for the server again. Also some shitty jokes. Wow, guys, just wow. This is all we could have in 2015. I've lurked better discussions in 2004. Fuck off.

Pathetic on Everything
Like I said before, the quality of the posts is horrific. Some of them even lack basic capitalization and punctuation; I am not even trying to ask for coherence because I think I'd see better coherence from a congress of apes. Yeah.

Plenty of Enemas
Butthurt is stellar, but only because people can't operate on facts in 2015, apparently. Looks like Demolition Man was a great prediction, everyone's a dripping douche with a bunch of muhfeels. If people were all men with massive schwags, we'd just group up, smack ourselves around for a while and the owner of the largest dong (probably SMA) would walk away the winner. Thanks for pussifying the world, Obama!

Parakeets of Ecstasy
I don't know what that actually means but it's more entertaining than most of this thread. Fuck, this thread makes me miss a nuclear winter and PoE's loading screens in Act 3. Good job. Only so many times a man can find himself giddy with reading WELL I THINK THIS GAME IS GREAT FUCK YOU ROXXOR. Also, the OHO I DIDN'T LIKE THIS GAME HAHAH REVIEW IS SPOT ON posts suck as much.

Pictures of Escapism
Where are the pictures? Okay, some effort with animated gifs on the last page, but a little too late. DQ right there.

Paraphrasing of Endearment
Yeah, you know what? I said this thread was 7/10 and I'd post in it again. I still stand by that statement because y'all are a bunch of lovable hobos. I love hobos so you're all a-okay in my books.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Plenty of Enemas

 

[Jools]

Somebody should review this thread

Content: TL;DR/10
Quality: 2/10
Writing: 4/10
Butthurt: 11/10
Entertainment: 5/10 initially fun but gets repetitive; new subplots introduce nothing new
Graphics: 0/10 minimal amount of pictures
Replayability: 7/10 would post again

Summary: Another overhyped thread with pathetic production values, zero planning and shitty balancing. Writing is rock-bottom level, characters are cliché, plot follows the best conventions of Shyamalan and CBS series to maximize plot twists and drama.

Despite the painful lack of custom portraits and the terrible C&C or lack thereof, the thread still manages to deliver, somehow. In that respect, it's better than PoE.

Oh, really?

Well let's take a closer look then. I didn't want to do it because it might hurt a lot of posters but fine. You made me do this.

Patriarchy of Engines
First, let's take a look at the engine. What do we have? It's the same old XenForo with some addons sprinkled on top. This is 2015 people, what the actual fuck. No in-house engine? I suppose it's alright to have this dated engine powering the debate if the other elements are strong though, so let's see how it fares.

Piles of Emptiness
The content of most of the posts is ridiculously lacking. It's either "I liked the review" or "Muh feels were hurt, pls call the ambulance for my butt", fucking seriously? This on the self-prided RPG Site of the Year? Yeah no, this won't ride, way things are going I see RPG Watch taking that title next year. Hell, maybe even DAC, if they pay for the server again. Also some shitty jokes. Wow, guys, just wow. This is all we could have in 2015. I've lurked better discussions in 2004. Fuck off.

Pathetic on Everything
Like I said before, the quality of the posts is horrific. Some of them even lack basic capitalization and punctuation; I am not even trying to ask for coherence because I think I'd see better coherence from a congress of apes. Yeah.

Plenty of Enemas
Butthurt is stellar, but only because people can't operate on facts in 2015, apparently. Looks like Demolition Man was a great prediction, everyone's a dripping douche with a bunch of muhfeels. If people were all men with massive schwags, we'd just group up, smack ourselves around for a while and the owner of the largest dong (probably SMA) would walk away the winner. Thanks for pussifying the world, Obama!

Parakeets of Ecstasy
I don't know what that actually means but it's more entertaining than most of this thread. Fuck, this thread makes me miss a nuclear winter and PoE's loading screens in Act 3. Good job. Only so many times a man can find himself giddy with reading WELL I THINK THIS GAME IS GREAT FUCK YOU ROXXOR. Also, the OHO I DIDN'T LIKE THIS GAME HAHAH REVIEW IS SPOT ON posts suck as much.

Pictures of Escapism
Where are the pictures? Okay, some effort with animated gifs on the last page, but a little too late. DQ right there.

Paraphrasing of Endearment
Yeah, you know what? I said this thread was 7/10 and I'd post in it again. I still stand by that statement because y'all are a bunch of lovable hobos. I love hobos so you're all a-okay in my books.

Reviewception.

Engine: Quote clusterfuck
Graphics: Sorta well divided into paragraphs, clearly marked titles in bold.
Content: Lots of words, and different writing styles (CAPS, slang, numbers, punctuation, yay for variety!)
Writing: Tries hard to be snarky, but doesn't really drive the knife in, so to speak. The bold opening claim of triggering people doesn't quite seem to be followed through, either. It's a fairly [benevolent] post.
Quality: It's good, despite the bland content.
Entertainment: Not bad for an indie. At least it keeps filler content to a minimum, and leads the reader on a fairly straightforward path, on to the post's natural conclusion.
Butthurt: None present whatsoever, nor any generated, seemingly.
Re-re-reviewability: Utter. This very review is proof to that.

Overall score: 6.8/mindfuck. Would review again.