Hehehe.. Kalin lost his eye, again? Rimworld's got it in for you. 
If I were there, I'd offer to treat it. With anal candles.
If I were there, I'd offer to treat it. With anal candles.
-
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Completed Rimworld Codex Colony - Co-Op Extraordinaire
Kalin
Unwanted
Mangled eye while wearing power armour helmet, shit ain't right! I bet someone took off my helmet, let me get mauled, then put it back on to cover up the cyber bullying.
And yeah, need to add Azira to the crew, ban that fuck from doctoring obv. But someone needs to fly the future space ship.
And yeah, need to add Azira to the crew, ban that fuck from doctoring obv. But someone needs to fly the future space ship.
I had to burn top medical supply on that operation btw.
That Glitter Medical supply was basically a $150 insurance to cover a $1500 bionic operation. Not to mention the subject is worth more than that.
Who knows...we might just harvest Crispy's kidneys and liver..for future use.
That Glitter Medical supply was basically a $150 insurance to cover a $1500 bionic operation. Not to mention the subject is worth more than that.
Who knows...we might just harvest Crispy's kidneys and liver..for future use.
Bliblablubb
Arcane
After so much time around gays, trannies and a catlady, he may not be so picky. Who knows, maybe his low eyesight works in his favor there...RK47 said:
Shit no! We want to leave this place, not blow up into tiny pieces because he rips the the ship apart while trying to raise the landing gear. At the very least get him properly boozed before...
That reminds me: where is the potatojuice in this KKKolony? Codexians can't surive on snorting coke alone.
... or maybe that's the reason everyone is still alive? Naaaaaah.
That reminds me: where is the potatojuice in this KKKolony? Codexians can't surive on snorting coke alone.
... or maybe that's the reason everyone is still alive? Naaaaaah.
Turisas said it's better to get addicted to chems rather than go on drinking and smoking.
And despite the 'benign' sounding names, colonists can also get addicted to drinking and smoking.
The chems actually increases overall performance while cigarettes and alcohol impedes movement speed.
I had a colonist once who smoked weed before going into battle.
When the order was given to retreat, he fell behind and died.
True story.
Although he left out the part of future health problems like sudden heart attacks from repeated chem use.
Better go out with a bang than silently fall with a whimper.
Bliblablubb
Arcane
So, if everyone on the 'dex were high on chems, it would make the Codex great again? Mmmmm...
Well...eventually the drug tolerance would get higher and higher, making the 'high' last shorter and the 'need' growing at a much more rapid rate.
Supplies dwindle, withdrawal ensues, productivity plummet.
Drugs should only be taken when 'needed'
But as you can see, our playstyles are different.
Turisas is more liberal with drug use.
I simply want to avoid it altogether.
Supplies dwindle, withdrawal ensues, productivity plummet.
Drugs should only be taken when 'needed'
But as you can see, our playstyles are different.
Turisas is more liberal with drug use.
I simply want to avoid it altogether.
Bliblablubb
Arcane
Actually I meant it as joke about this board. 
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
66
We've got a ton of corn, so we should dump some at the first opportunity. It's too bad you can't make corn whiskey out of it.
Boomalope chows down on precious cocainum leaves - this is why you don't let anyone but your hauler animals wander around freely.
As RK pointed out, we didn't have a fire mortar earlier - the plan was always to put one down, but at the time we didn't have enough people to man four of them, and fire mortars become completely useless once it starts raining, so regular ones are more useful overall.
Boomers need to be trained properly for their jihadi suicide bomber purpose in life.
Crispy has some good abilities, but also health issues and the simple fact of the matter is that she's just too old - no one likes an used-up old whore.
Her pessimistic nature is an issue as well, so we do the right thing and surgically take one of her lungs and kidneys each,
andcast her out have her form an expeditionary force to acquire vital information about the surrounding areas. We give her ample supply of potato, as well.
So long, you weirdo.
*tshhht* Expeditionary Force Alpha, do you copy? Your assignment is to check out the LZ we received coordinates for earlier; scout it out and report back. Maintain radio silence until mission completion. Kodexbunker HQ, signing out.
With pariah Crispy gone, things in the kolony can return to normal. Kalin tries his hand at some sweet talk, with utterly predictable results.
Crispy phones in, letting everyone know how she feels about her assignment. She gets ignored to maintain radio silence.
Another ooga booga caravan swings by, and they've nothing of value so we just offload some junk on them.
We've got a ton of corn, so we should dump some at the first opportunity. It's too bad you can't make corn whiskey out of it.
Boomalope chows down on precious cocainum leaves - this is why you don't let anyone but your hauler animals wander around freely.
As RK pointed out, we didn't have a fire mortar earlier - the plan was always to put one down, but at the time we didn't have enough people to man four of them, and fire mortars become completely useless once it starts raining, so regular ones are more useful overall.
Boomers need to be trained properly for their jihadi suicide bomber purpose in life.
Crispy has some good abilities, but also health issues and the simple fact of the matter is that she's just too old - no one likes an used-up old whore.
Her pessimistic nature is an issue as well, so we do the right thing and surgically take one of her lungs and kidneys each,
and
So long, you weirdo.
*tshhht* Expeditionary Force Alpha, do you copy? Your assignment is to check out the LZ we received coordinates for earlier; scout it out and report back. Maintain radio silence until mission completion. Kodexbunker HQ, signing out.
With pariah Crispy gone, things in the kolony can return to normal. Kalin tries his hand at some sweet talk, with utterly predictable results.
Crispy phones in, letting everyone know how she feels about her assignment. She gets ignored to maintain radio silence.
Another ooga booga caravan swings by, and they've nothing of value so we just offload some junk on them.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
67
The drill's producing plenty of plasteel for us, and since we're almost done with the kodex ship research altogether, I think it's high time we start our plans to get off this goddamn rock.
This upper area here is barely used, and will have enough space for the... space ship. It's a bit tricky to check which areas we've dug into have the overhead mountain map, but one quick albeit roundabout way of doing that is to designate an area as "no-roof" with one of the tools. If the tool cannot select a certain area (in this case, the one tile in the upper-right corner) that means it has overhead mountain on it and should be filled to prevent bug infestations.
We've ton of silver and corn, but not enough uranium and regular steel for the spaceship, so a bulk trader gets summoned.
And since we have body parts scattered all over the place, might as well put them where they belong.
Wood floors are super cheap and like was mentioned before, fire-proof for some reason, so might as well fill the yard before disaster strikes - we can then deploy that firefoam elsewhere should the need arise.
Belle often gets pissy to begin with, and now she has to deal with sexual harrassment from Kalin, as well. We should buy a special pet pig for Kalin so he'll leave the women alone.
None of the ship pieces are cheap, but you should aim to make the reactor first since it can generate power for your colony until the ship launches.
Crispy's still alive, and keeps calling us despite no one really caring. STFU already.
We really could use a uranium vein, and the way deep mining works is that usually it's the smaller veins that have the more valuable stuff like gold and uranium. Unfortunately this vein turns out to be silver, which we really don't need right now - it'd just generate unnecessary wealth and make raids more difficult.
Jaesun got some peeeellls ova here - wake-up is barely addictive and removes the need to sleep completely. No napping 4 u, get back on that table.
Bulk guy arrives, and we offload some shit - I usually like to keep leathers in multiples of 10, so you'll have less leftovers after crafting, but that's really just personal preference.
One of our shooters is still using a poor assault rifle, so it's high time Kalin whips up a turbo plasma rifle. They're pretty sweet, a direct upgrade to assault rifles, but for good shooters you'll want to have some sniper rifles as well.
Where's that damn uranium. The vein scanner only shows where the veins are, not what they have in them - you won't know until you build a deep drill at that spot, and those can't be moved - only deconstructed that comes with a material loss. Unfortunately, this spot turns out to be gold but hey, at least it isn't silver.
Aaaand this is why you don't want so much wealth in your colony. RK's endless lust for silver has finally attracted a posse of pirates, and they're packing some serious heat.
The drill's producing plenty of plasteel for us, and since we're almost done with the kodex ship research altogether, I think it's high time we start our plans to get off this goddamn rock.
This upper area here is barely used, and will have enough space for the... space ship. It's a bit tricky to check which areas we've dug into have the overhead mountain map, but one quick albeit roundabout way of doing that is to designate an area as "no-roof" with one of the tools. If the tool cannot select a certain area (in this case, the one tile in the upper-right corner) that means it has overhead mountain on it and should be filled to prevent bug infestations.
We've ton of silver and corn, but not enough uranium and regular steel for the spaceship, so a bulk trader gets summoned.
And since we have body parts scattered all over the place, might as well put them where they belong.
Wood floors are super cheap and like was mentioned before, fire-proof for some reason, so might as well fill the yard before disaster strikes - we can then deploy that firefoam elsewhere should the need arise.
Belle often gets pissy to begin with, and now she has to deal with sexual harrassment from Kalin, as well. We should buy a special pet pig for Kalin so he'll leave the women alone.
None of the ship pieces are cheap, but you should aim to make the reactor first since it can generate power for your colony until the ship launches.
Crispy's still alive, and keeps calling us despite no one really caring. STFU already.
We really could use a uranium vein, and the way deep mining works is that usually it's the smaller veins that have the more valuable stuff like gold and uranium. Unfortunately this vein turns out to be silver, which we really don't need right now - it'd just generate unnecessary wealth and make raids more difficult.
Jaesun got some peeeellls ova here - wake-up is barely addictive and removes the need to sleep completely. No napping 4 u, get back on that table.
Bulk guy arrives, and we offload some shit - I usually like to keep leathers in multiples of 10, so you'll have less leftovers after crafting, but that's really just personal preference.
One of our shooters is still using a poor assault rifle, so it's high time Kalin whips up a turbo plasma rifle. They're pretty sweet, a direct upgrade to assault rifles, but for good shooters you'll want to have some sniper rifles as well.
Where's that damn uranium. The vein scanner only shows where the veins are, not what they have in them - you won't know until you build a deep drill at that spot, and those can't be moved - only deconstructed that comes with a material loss. Unfortunately, this spot turns out to be gold but hey, at least it isn't silver.
Aaaand this is why you don't want so much wealth in your colony. RK's endless lust for silver has finally attracted a posse of pirates, and they're packing some serious heat.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
68
Things aren't as grim as they seem, however - this is exactly the situation we got those psychic lances for. We aim it at the guy wielding the (one-use) BFG. Unfortunately he mostly manages to get himself killed, but at least it's not our turrets eating that doomsday rocket.
The boomers are offered as sacrifice, confusing the attackers and giving our mortars time to shoot at them bastids.
For some reason they decide to go around, must be because the turrets on east side are turned off, still.
Strike Team Alpha is repositioned as the assaults slooowly make their way to the other side. One of the pirates has EMP grenades, so purely as a precautionary measure we lance her brains out as well so that our turrets don't get wiped out right away.
First he circles around the traps, pauses and then walks right into them.
While they fight against each other, shelling in the night continues.
Heat of the battle causes a social fight between caravan guards, as well.
With the constant barrage demoralizing the remaining pirates left standing, they get utterly confused and start digging at the wall. Mortar team claims another victim.
And this is why the fire mortar isn't that great; once fires start to spread, rain usually follows. Even a direct hit from a fire mortar barely causes any damage during rain, since for some reason it doesn't do any other type of damage than burn.
These guys are hopeless, could've probably saved one of those lances, at least.
And finally, with their spirits broken, they abandon the fight and run to the hills.
Things aren't as grim as they seem, however - this is exactly the situation we got those psychic lances for. We aim it at the guy wielding the (one-use) BFG. Unfortunately he mostly manages to get himself killed, but at least it's not our turrets eating that doomsday rocket.
The boomers are offered as sacrifice, confusing the attackers and giving our mortars time to shoot at them bastids.
For some reason they decide to go around, must be because the turrets on east side are turned off, still.
Strike Team Alpha is repositioned as the assaults slooowly make their way to the other side. One of the pirates has EMP grenades, so purely as a precautionary measure we lance her brains out as well so that our turrets don't get wiped out right away.
First he circles around the traps, pauses and then walks right into them.
While they fight against each other, shelling in the night continues.
Heat of the battle causes a social fight between caravan guards, as well.
With the constant barrage demoralizing the remaining pirates left standing, they get utterly confused and start digging at the wall. Mortar team claims another victim.
And this is why the fire mortar isn't that great; once fires start to spread, rain usually follows. Even a direct hit from a fire mortar barely causes any damage during rain, since for some reason it doesn't do any other type of damage than burn.
These guys are hopeless, could've probably saved one of those lances, at least.
And finally, with their spirits broken, they abandon the fight and run to the hills.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
69, dude!
Before going to sleep, we grab the most valuable pieces left behind by the pirates so as not to lower their resale value any further.
One of the fleeing pirates collapses just before map edge - no way to save him in time since his liver's shot, oh well.
Besides, our remaining boomers are in need of urgent care as well - if they die, they explode and that'd wipe out all of them so all must live.
No time for rest for our chief of surgery, so she gets a double dose of the good stuff.
The bodies and loot would deteriorate very quickly under the sun, so everyone temporarily gets reassigned to haul ass.
Remaining boomrats get busy doing what they do best.
Our animals help out too by disposing of the bodies.
Finally, some good news for a change. So long Crispy, you won't be missed.
SMA was Crispy's friend so she feels rather butthurt about her demise, and as a teetotaler we can't give her any nose candy, either. Oh well, DWI then.
See what happens, Jews? See what happens when you build your room in an area with overhead mountain roof? That's what happens.
Jews makes it out a little banged up, and fortunately the bugs don't charge at the door. They're tough sumbitches to fight though, especially in close quarters like this.
A wicked idea emerges.
Since we don't want to burn down the whole base, but just Jews's roach-infested room, we re-deploy the foam and change to nearby walls from wood to granite.
AO tosses a molotov and then we wait. We have Kalin drafted with him - should the fire spread to the wooden walls next to them, they'll automatically put those fires out before they become a problem.
The fire rises, and the temperature in roach room starts to climb.
Meanwhile, an excellent display of female logic at work. Hate your room, so go hide there.
Burn, baby, burn - flames are gettin' higher!
Last ship tech research is finally finished, and since it's getting rather toasty inside our base (temperature will spread, even if fire doesn't) we open the outside doors to mitigate it some. Most colonists are fine with temperatures up to ~70C because of their spiffy dusters.
Jews gets to move to the prison for now. Stupid Jews, this is all your fault, really.
With the fire dying out, we let RK deal with the clean-up.
Before going to sleep, we grab the most valuable pieces left behind by the pirates so as not to lower their resale value any further.
One of the fleeing pirates collapses just before map edge - no way to save him in time since his liver's shot, oh well.
Besides, our remaining boomers are in need of urgent care as well - if they die, they explode and that'd wipe out all of them so all must live.
No time for rest for our chief of surgery, so she gets a double dose of the good stuff.
The bodies and loot would deteriorate very quickly under the sun, so everyone temporarily gets reassigned to haul ass.
Remaining boomrats get busy doing what they do best.
Our animals help out too by disposing of the bodies.
Finally, some good news for a change. So long Crispy, you won't be missed.
SMA was Crispy's friend so she feels rather butthurt about her demise, and as a teetotaler we can't give her any nose candy, either. Oh well, DWI then.
See what happens, Jews? See what happens when you build your room in an area with overhead mountain roof? That's what happens.
Jews makes it out a little banged up, and fortunately the bugs don't charge at the door. They're tough sumbitches to fight though, especially in close quarters like this.
A wicked idea emerges.
Since we don't want to burn down the whole base, but just Jews's roach-infested room, we re-deploy the foam and change to nearby walls from wood to granite.
AO tosses a molotov and then we wait. We have Kalin drafted with him - should the fire spread to the wooden walls next to them, they'll automatically put those fires out before they become a problem.
The fire rises, and the temperature in roach room starts to climb.
Meanwhile, an excellent display of female logic at work. Hate your room, so go hide there.
Burn, baby, burn - flames are gettin' higher!
Last ship tech research is finally finished, and since it's getting rather toasty inside our base (temperature will spread, even if fire doesn't) we open the outside doors to mitigate it some. Most colonists are fine with temperatures up to ~70C because of their spiffy dusters.
Jews gets to move to the prison for now. Stupid Jews, this is all your fault, really.
With the fire dying out, we let RK deal with the clean-up.
70 -
Jews' bedroom has turned into an oven.
Imagine loading up the save game without reading Turisas update.
I seriously went wtf upon loading it.
And he has seriously underestimated Crispy's popularity.
It has affected almost half of the colony and it will stay there for more than a season!
Come on lah. Just build a cryo pod and stuck her there somewhere. FFS.
I also noticed Turisas forgot to rename Belle - that's fine.
I too am having a hard time of finding a good name for this very productive lady.
Then I remember the most feminine part of codex that I love most.
I was slightly excited to hear a random arms dealer has arrived to trade - only to discover that they're fucking tribals selling pointy sticks and arrows.
This is why USA never imports weapons from Mexico.
HHR tries to rip off the carpet from Jews' previous bedroom, but discovers that the entire room is still an oven.
We'll have to wait until the heat dissipates.
Which means sending HHR to deal with the corpse stash that I stumbled upon.
I was really disappointed to find that Turisas didn't manage to strip the power helmet off them while they're still alive.
Looks like he wiped out some high quality opposition, and HHR rewards himself with a piece of the success.
Randy decides that the colony deserves a break and sends out soothing pyschic wave for the girls.
Hopefully this will help Black Cat recover.
We move on to Electric Smelting research.
We dial an exotic trader to get more spare parts as the colony finally cleans up the mess in Jews' former room.
It's a shame, but I guess we have to abandon that room from now on.
Imagine loading up the save game without reading Turisas update.
I seriously went wtf upon loading it.
And he has seriously underestimated Crispy's popularity.
It has affected almost half of the colony and it will stay there for more than a season!
Come on lah. Just build a cryo pod and stuck her there somewhere. FFS.
I also noticed Turisas forgot to rename Belle - that's fine.
I too am having a hard time of finding a good name for this very productive lady.
Then I remember the most feminine part of codex that I love most.
I was slightly excited to hear a random arms dealer has arrived to trade - only to discover that they're fucking tribals selling pointy sticks and arrows.
This is why USA never imports weapons from Mexico.
HHR tries to rip off the carpet from Jews' previous bedroom, but discovers that the entire room is still an oven.
We'll have to wait until the heat dissipates.
Which means sending HHR to deal with the corpse stash that I stumbled upon.
I was really disappointed to find that Turisas didn't manage to strip the power helmet off them while they're still alive.
Looks like he wiped out some high quality opposition, and HHR rewards himself with a piece of the success.
Randy decides that the colony deserves a break and sends out soothing pyschic wave for the girls.
Hopefully this will help Black Cat recover.
We move on to Electric Smelting research.
We dial an exotic trader to get more spare parts as the colony finally cleans up the mess in Jews' former room.
It's a shame, but I guess we have to abandon that room from now on.
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71
Random KFC from Randy.
I guess I can sell this Emu off. We don't really need more animals to tend to.
Smelting is researched, we can now move on to Electric Cremation so we can simply turn corpses to ash.
Nothing much happens during my watch. I'm kinda sad that Turi got the merc action going for him. The most exciting part was Scrooge failing a tame attempt on a boomalope, and it turned hostile. But her boomrat bodyguard stood its ground while Scrooge fled. The little guy died, saving its master in the process.
Which makes me kinda want to research Explosive IEDs.
AO and TITS avenge the fallen boomrat.
The exotic caravan finally arrives. Jews greet them at the gates as eclipse falls upon the region.
We sold off the self-tamed Emu.
And decide to burn a lot of silvers on more bionics. Sorry, Kalin. They still don't have Bionic Eyes for sale.
But they do have a pair of bionic arms!
Fuck yeah, let's do this.
The caravan left the next day. And Randy decides to troll me.
Oh FFS. these little bastards can't haul anything due to their size!
Goddamit another NINE dogs to feed?!
I guess I can sell this Emu off. We don't really need more animals to tend to.
Smelting is researched, we can now move on to Electric Cremation so we can simply turn corpses to ash.
Nothing much happens during my watch. I'm kinda sad that Turi got the merc action going for him. The most exciting part was Scrooge failing a tame attempt on a boomalope, and it turned hostile. But her boomrat bodyguard stood its ground while Scrooge fled. The little guy died, saving its master in the process.
Which makes me kinda want to research Explosive IEDs.
AO and TITS avenge the fallen boomrat.
The exotic caravan finally arrives. Jews greet them at the gates as eclipse falls upon the region.
We sold off the self-tamed Emu.
And decide to burn a lot of silvers on more bionics. Sorry, Kalin. They still don't have Bionic Eyes for sale.
But they do have a pair of bionic arms!
Fuck yeah, let's do this.
The caravan left the next day. And Randy decides to troll me.
Oh FFS. these little bastards can't haul anything due to their size!
Goddamit another NINE dogs to feed?!
72 -
NOOOO STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER! USELESS DOGS!
Allahuakbar.
We go for transport pod research. I have a plan.
Tried dialing for exotic caravan to dump the terriers -
'HELLO PLEASE COME BACK'
'Sorry sir. You must wait till we unload our cargo - give us half a day.'
Fuck it. We'll wait.
The hospital sun lamp is switched on - and AO is told to lie on the bed.
The Human Revolution is about to begin.
https://youtu.be/Ns7fNPiNiNc
You will run faster than any of them.
Your hands shall never falter.
And you shall feel no pain.
You are more than human.
You are...
..JC.
NOOOO STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER! USELESS DOGS!
Allahuakbar.
We go for transport pod research. I have a plan.
Tried dialing for exotic caravan to dump the terriers -
'HELLO PLEASE COME BACK'
'Sorry sir. You must wait till we unload our cargo - give us half a day.'
Fuck it. We'll wait.
The hospital sun lamp is switched on - and AO is told to lie on the bed.
The Human Revolution is about to begin.
https://youtu.be/Ns7fNPiNiNc
You will run faster than any of them.
Your hands shall never falter.
And you shall feel no pain.
You are more than human.
You are...
..JC.
SmartCheetah
Arcane
- Joined
- May 7, 2013
- Messages
- 1,102
72 -
NOOOO STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER! USELESS DOGS!
LMAO. Terrier gangbang!
Also, if you guys need some names for a future fresh meat, count me in 8)
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
73
Looks like RK's been a cruel taskmaster, and forced Kalin to work without any rest or food. Shame on you lah, this ain't no vietnamese sweatshop.
Another self-tamer - his name is Buck and he's here to fuck.
Normally, I would've given first dibs on bionic arms to the doctor, but since this won't be a long-term colony anyway it shouldn't matter much. They're very much worth having on a fighter dude, as well.
I never build the refinery, myself - it sucks a ton of power and takes ages to smelt those steel chunks; all for a puny 10 steel each. Maybe useful on a long-term game where you've exhausted your map's steel reserves already.
Another miss, there's gotta be uranium somewhere.
Moreplebs beds are needed, so Jaesun's hut gets split in twain. He don't mind it none.
These fucking dogs! Worse than cats even, lemme tell ya.
As we try our luck with yet another spot in hopes of finding some o' that juicy uranium, we get a distress call. Wow, I can already tell this is gonna be a big waste of everyone's time - what a useless little shit.
And looks like he's managed to piss off a lot of people.
Strike Team Alpha gets in position as the shelling starts. Mortar team misses all their shots, rather predictably.
The attackers split up so we send some TITS to boost the morale of the turrets. They do a great job and this time we manage to nab some loot before the perps perish.
With so many of the attackers mowed down by turret hellfire, the remaining posse's morale soon breaks and they turn tail. Jaesun heroically shoots one of them in the back, r00fles!
And something positive too! Some of those stupid damn dogs get shot.
...but of course the bleeding heart librul Scrooge manages to save one. FFS.
HHR finally manages to finish the drill, and it's another bust. Hella lame, men.
Looks like RK's been a cruel taskmaster, and forced Kalin to work without any rest or food. Shame on you lah, this ain't no vietnamese sweatshop.
Another self-tamer - his name is Buck and he's here to fuck.
Normally, I would've given first dibs on bionic arms to the doctor, but since this won't be a long-term colony anyway it shouldn't matter much. They're very much worth having on a fighter dude, as well.
I never build the refinery, myself - it sucks a ton of power and takes ages to smelt those steel chunks; all for a puny 10 steel each. Maybe useful on a long-term game where you've exhausted your map's steel reserves already.
Another miss, there's gotta be uranium somewhere.
More
These fucking dogs! Worse than cats even, lemme tell ya.
As we try our luck with yet another spot in hopes of finding some o' that juicy uranium, we get a distress call. Wow, I can already tell this is gonna be a big waste of everyone's time - what a useless little shit.
And looks like he's managed to piss off a lot of people.
Strike Team Alpha gets in position as the shelling starts. Mortar team misses all their shots, rather predictably.
The attackers split up so we send some TITS to boost the morale of the turrets. They do a great job and this time we manage to nab some loot before the perps perish.
With so many of the attackers mowed down by turret hellfire, the remaining posse's morale soon breaks and they turn tail. Jaesun heroically shoots one of them in the back, r00fles!
And something positive too! Some of those stupid damn dogs get shot.
...but of course the bleeding heart librul Scrooge manages to save one. FFS.
HHR finally manages to finish the drill, and it's another bust. Hella lame, men.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
74
The first thing this Conrad fella did was run to the kolony's stash and help himself to all the best shit available, so he gets named appropriately.
Jaesun is cranky over a few scrapes, so we soothe his nerves with some delicious cocainum. Pills are good, pills are gooooood.
The little vermin finally become useful in death, and the kolony can feast on some yummy hot dogs.
For once there's no rain so the fire gets to spread a lot, claiming a few dumb animals that sleep while the forest around them is on fire. Natural selection at its finest.
Konjad's a goddamn terrible shot and not useful at all in a fight, and yet he grabs an armor vest that could be put to better use. Guess someone just earned themselves a permanent stay on this shithole once the USS Kodex departs.
The earlier fuck-up with TITS taking over Kalin's job fortunately doesn't go too badly, at least the rifle is of normal quality.
Lazy bastards, the lot of them. Go sweep some dirt or something, at least try to look busy.
Yet another try and this time... score! It's a tiny vein but it should still be just enough to make that ship.
A pack of friendly furries arrive to do some trading. Eww. Just don't let them come inside and keep an extra close eye on our animals so they don't get molested.
A piece of a psychic ship crash lands nearby; they can be full of mechanoid enemies and risky to destroy, but you can't ignore it forever because of the ever-growing mood debuff it generates. It also turns the ground surrounding it colder, but that's hardly a concern in most cases - only if you have the misfortune of having it drop down straight on your crops.
A-team is deployed once more, and this time each is given a dose of go-juice for maximum kombat prowess.
Jaesun cracks the thing open with a carefully placed shot, and out pours a decent-sized pack of eldritch monstrosities. The smaller scythers have a disgustingly long firing range, and the fatty grub worms can wield all sorts of nasty weapons.
Mortar fire actually helps somewhat this time around, softening the targets for our strike team. Since they're mechanical beings they feel no pain and won't stop until something critical is disabled.
The first thing this Conrad fella did was run to the kolony's stash and help himself to all the best shit available, so he gets named appropriately.
Jaesun is cranky over a few scrapes, so we soothe his nerves with some delicious cocainum. Pills are good, pills are gooooood.
The little vermin finally become useful in death, and the kolony can feast on some yummy hot dogs.
For once there's no rain so the fire gets to spread a lot, claiming a few dumb animals that sleep while the forest around them is on fire. Natural selection at its finest.
Konjad's a goddamn terrible shot and not useful at all in a fight, and yet he grabs an armor vest that could be put to better use. Guess someone just earned themselves a permanent stay on this shithole once the USS Kodex departs.
The earlier fuck-up with TITS taking over Kalin's job fortunately doesn't go too badly, at least the rifle is of normal quality.
Lazy bastards, the lot of them. Go sweep some dirt or something, at least try to look busy.
Yet another try and this time... score! It's a tiny vein but it should still be just enough to make that ship.
A pack of friendly furries arrive to do some trading. Eww. Just don't let them come inside and keep an extra close eye on our animals so they don't get molested.
A piece of a psychic ship crash lands nearby; they can be full of mechanoid enemies and risky to destroy, but you can't ignore it forever because of the ever-growing mood debuff it generates. It also turns the ground surrounding it colder, but that's hardly a concern in most cases - only if you have the misfortune of having it drop down straight on your crops.
A-team is deployed once more, and this time each is given a dose of go-juice for maximum kombat prowess.
Jaesun cracks the thing open with a carefully placed shot, and out pours a decent-sized pack of eldritch monstrosities. The smaller scythers have a disgustingly long firing range, and the fatty grub worms can wield all sorts of nasty weapons.
Mortar fire actually helps somewhat this time around, softening the targets for our strike team. Since they're mechanical beings they feel no pain and won't stop until something critical is disabled.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
75
Not all mortar salvos are that accurate, but they're lethal regardless. Minor collateral damage in the grand spectacle of war.
Jaesun and JC are now moved into proper firing positions, and they wisely target the scythers first.
Rest of the team joins the fray, and an intense firefight ensues. One of the worms has an inferno cannon but it doesn't accomplish much since it's raining. The other one's wielding the woefully inaccurate minigun, which barely dents Kalin.
Barely a fleshwound! While the other wounded limp to the medbay, augmented JC dgaf and goes back to sowing the field.
TITS is left to wrap things up and destroy the psychic ship. We claim the AI core intact, which we'll need later to make the computer for our spaceship.
The following night, a group of steenkin' mexicans attack under the cover of night. Sneaky little buggers.
Maybe one of these days they'll figure out that bows and spears aren't exactly a match for auto-targeting turrets and a group of more or less trained killers.
One of them is so confused that he tries to flee in the wrong direction, and Jaesun gets to pop another sucka in the back.
Not all mortar salvos are that accurate, but they're lethal regardless. Minor collateral damage in the grand spectacle of war.
Jaesun and JC are now moved into proper firing positions, and they wisely target the scythers first.
Rest of the team joins the fray, and an intense firefight ensues. One of the worms has an inferno cannon but it doesn't accomplish much since it's raining. The other one's wielding the woefully inaccurate minigun, which barely dents Kalin.
Barely a fleshwound! While the other wounded limp to the medbay, augmented JC dgaf and goes back to sowing the field.
TITS is left to wrap things up and destroy the psychic ship. We claim the AI core intact, which we'll need later to make the computer for our spaceship.
The following night, a group of steenkin' mexicans attack under the cover of night. Sneaky little buggers.
Maybe one of these days they'll figure out that bows and spears aren't exactly a match for auto-targeting turrets and a group of more or less trained killers.
One of them is so confused that he tries to flee in the wrong direction, and Jaesun gets to pop another sucka in the back.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
76
Pow, right to the kisser!
A half-assed attempt at a chase is made, but they only manage to reach the slowest of the bunch.
Lots of prisoners now, so we immediately call for a slaver caravan since feeding these jerks would be too big of a drain, and we don't really need more kolonists at this point.
Plenty of uranium now from that vein we found, so we finally make the reactor - it'll keep on generating power for the kolony until we're ready to launch. The ship-building in Rimworld is very rudimentary and you just need to drop down a few essential parts that fit together and you're essentially good to go.
Trannies, man.
Another dry thunderstorm, which could've been real bad if we didn't have some foam poppers handy. Jaesun and Kalin happen to be close by as lightning strikes near the muffalos, and manage to snuff it out. If fire has a chance to spread, it's impossible to put down without putting your kolonists at risk.
With the core and one casket done, technically we could launch right now and win the game, but since there's no cool Turisas character in this kolony, no one's quite enough of an asshole to save themselves by abandoning everyone else.
Since we'll need a lot more steel and components to finish the ship, resident cyborg agent JC is sent to check out the nearby vault. Bugs again! They're fast, but now JC is faster, and since they're melee only, he has no issues whatsoever at slaughtering them.
Pow, right to the kisser!
A half-assed attempt at a chase is made, but they only manage to reach the slowest of the bunch.
Lots of prisoners now, so we immediately call for a slaver caravan since feeding these jerks would be too big of a drain, and we don't really need more kolonists at this point.
Plenty of uranium now from that vein we found, so we finally make the reactor - it'll keep on generating power for the kolony until we're ready to launch. The ship-building in Rimworld is very rudimentary and you just need to drop down a few essential parts that fit together and you're essentially good to go.
Trannies, man.
Another dry thunderstorm, which could've been real bad if we didn't have some foam poppers handy. Jaesun and Kalin happen to be close by as lightning strikes near the muffalos, and manage to snuff it out. If fire has a chance to spread, it's impossible to put down without putting your kolonists at risk.
With the core and one casket done, technically we could launch right now and win the game, but since there's no cool Turisas character in this kolony, no one's quite enough of an asshole to save themselves by abandoning everyone else.
Since we'll need a lot more steel and components to finish the ship, resident cyborg agent JC is sent to check out the nearby vault. Bugs again! They're fast, but now JC is faster, and since they're melee only, he has no issues whatsoever at slaughtering them.
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 9,999
77
As his reward, he gets to try some o' that sweet, sweet devil's bargain. He never asked for this, but he is now augmented beyond belief.
Caskets have some live ones in them, and the most useless of the bunch decides to join up. Great.
Our builders don't get any sleep anymore since we want to finish the ship as soon as possible, and it's slowly starting to take its toll. But who cares, double the coke rations and work twice as fast!
The remaining caskets will require massive amounts of steel and components, but clearly Randy favors this colony since an orbital trader shows up with exactly what we need.
Jews activates the psionic vibrator for some good feels, but Kalin doesn't even need it since he's so thrilled about finally having a good eye again.
More uneventful days follow, with just resource-gathering and random traders passing by.
Finally, it's finished. And wow what a piece of shit it is - but hey, at least it works. Maybe.
Everyone gets ready to set sail for fail, the extra-large caskets even manage to fit HHR and Cleve's gargantuan frames.
A fade to white and there's the end screen. A winner is you. Wow, what an anti-climax that was. At least the douchebags got left behind, and will likely die without the others to do all the work for them.
END OF RINE
As his reward, he gets to try some o' that sweet, sweet devil's bargain. He never asked for this, but he is now augmented beyond belief.
Caskets have some live ones in them, and the most useless of the bunch decides to join up. Great.
Our builders don't get any sleep anymore since we want to finish the ship as soon as possible, and it's slowly starting to take its toll. But who cares, double the coke rations and work twice as fast!
The remaining caskets will require massive amounts of steel and components, but clearly Randy favors this colony since an orbital trader shows up with exactly what we need.
Jews activates the psionic vibrator for some good feels, but Kalin doesn't even need it since he's so thrilled about finally having a good eye again.
More uneventful days follow, with just resource-gathering and random traders passing by.
Finally, it's finished. And wow what a piece of shit it is - but hey, at least it works. Maybe.
Everyone gets ready to set sail for fail, the extra-large caskets even manage to fit HHR and Cleve's gargantuan frames.
A fade to white and there's the end screen. A winner is you. Wow, what an anti-climax that was. At least the douchebags got left behind, and will likely die without the others to do all the work for them.
END OF RINE
Kalin
Unwanted
Good run men, it's been a lot of fun following this.
And hey, can't believe I lived through it all and got a snazzy Hammerite Eye to boot!
78 -
With the ship near completion, the colonists are in a state of euphoria. True, they lost their morals somewhere by selling away not one, but five slaves at once. But they got over it quickly by snorting cocaine and uncapping bottles of beer.
A distant rumbling in a heavy storm woke the colonists from this dream-like state, however.
A herd of maddened elephants charge towards the colony, threatening to undo all their hard work.
The turrets open fire, but the beasts won't slow down.
The troops were alerted.
During the battle, JC attempts to bait the elephant in a chase but mistimed his exit, he took a few hits.
By now, a few turrets have already beed wrecked by the rampaging elephants.
The south granite door finally gave way.
Jews was heavily wounded but alive.
The carnage lasted a few more minutes, but the colonists prevailed without casualties.
No one will die, not when they were so close to leaving this planet.
But the attack left the entire western turrets wrecked.
The colony descends into darkness as a solar flare occurs.
Tomorrow will surely be a better day.
With the ship near completion, the colonists are in a state of euphoria. True, they lost their morals somewhere by selling away not one, but five slaves at once. But they got over it quickly by snorting cocaine and uncapping bottles of beer.
A distant rumbling in a heavy storm woke the colonists from this dream-like state, however.
A herd of maddened elephants charge towards the colony, threatening to undo all their hard work.
The turrets open fire, but the beasts won't slow down.
The troops were alerted.
During the battle, JC attempts to bait the elephant in a chase but mistimed his exit, he took a few hits.
By now, a few turrets have already beed wrecked by the rampaging elephants.
The south granite door finally gave way.
Jews was heavily wounded but alive.
The carnage lasted a few more minutes, but the colonists prevailed without casualties.
No one will die, not when they were so close to leaving this planet.
But the attack left the entire western turrets wrecked.
The colony descends into darkness as a solar flare occurs.
Tomorrow will surely be a better day.
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