Dear Developer Diary: In order to protect my intellectual property, I have started my own Limited Liability Corporation (LLC), entitled
Keep Wanking Studios. Currently we have an impressive staff of four experienced game developers acting as the Chief Executive Officer, Chief Security Officer, Chief Operating Officer, and Chief Financial Officer, consisting of yours truly. I've also added on two front-line employees going by the monikers of "MarathonGuy1337" and "mediocrepoet" who have pledged their support, and also have most definitely agreed to donate both their funds and their time to support my game development efforts. To assist with their transferring of funds, I have set up a paypal.me:
paypal.me/KeepWankingLLC. This is of course a binding agreement, as are all agreements made upon the Internet.
You may be wondering what the word 'Wanking' means. It is a word that I, in my infinite intellect, decided to coin to describe my unique game development style. While I am a writer without compare, I am not trained in programming. A person of lesser intellect would suggest that I learn how to program. This is complete foolishness and a waste of my talents. Instead, I spend every waking hour thinking
intensely about "Mortal: The Eldrum Books," exploring every aspect of the video game's creation and development using the formidable powers of my quite gigantic brain. Being that my last name is Wankmeister, obviously, the only word that could be used to describe this activity is Wanking. I can safely say I have been Wanking every day for the last ten years.
Today's Wanking consisted of developing a movement system for "Mortal: The Eldrum Books," an aspect I plan to innovate hugely. As we are all aware, keyboards have "arrow keys." Admittedly, it is sensible to have a character move in the direction of these "arrow keys" when the buttons are pressed since they do correspond to the four cardinal directions. But I find it most inconvenient, for reasons I prefer not to discuss. In "Mortal: The Eldrum Books," the character will instead be controlled using the "W," "A," "S", and "D" keys. This revolutionary concept will make an impact on video game-playing for years to come.
I title this control scheme the
Wank Movement System. I've already sent an email describing this system to Bill Gates of Microsoft, who I am sure will be very impressed.
Yours truly,
Gabriel Wankmeister, Esq., MD, PhD, CEO, CSO, COO, CFO
Founder of Keep Wanking Studios
Expert Game Developer