Magic the Gathering Arena

[spectre]

For starters, you want Shadowspear with Dread Shades and Phylactery Liches. It's really fucking annoying when you can't get all that potential damage across (and gives you a turn 1 artifact, cmc 1-2 is where you want them for on-curve Phil).
You don't need them with obliterators, but it goes along well with a bunch of other mono-black stuff (Ebonics Legion, Deathless Knights, Rotting Regisaur, Vito).
Shade is a solid performer and a decent mana sink until the cunts come round to giving us the long overdue Torment of fucking Hailfire to make MBC great again.

Now, when it comes to Phil, not sure how prevalent is exile removal in current historic. He used to be the hot shit when there wasn't too much of this shit. It's always feels shit to lose the guy to some
crap like heliod's intervention or battle display, but it's possible to hide your vitals better with Treasure Map - it flips into a land with a counter. Takes a bit more work blowing that up.
You can achieve more or less the same result with Azor's Gateway (functionally identical to Nyx Lotus, might give you a bigger pay off. It takes a bit longer to go off, but the cycling can help sometimes).

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Stop me from making a gimmick deck involving Tavern Swindler, Indulging Patrician and Vito.

Also link me a deck that completely murders planeswalkers. Like I want the game to be so unfun for PW decks that I cause them to slash their wrists IRL.

 

[Dawkinsfan69]

oh man this feels orgasmic vs these jackass slow playing sac combo decks

I'm like a holy crusader striking down evil

 

[Dawkinsfan69]

Also link me a deck that completely murders planeswalkers. Like I want the game to be so unfun for PW decks that I cause them to slash their wrists IRL.

this card in historic

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

In any sane universe Teferi would cause Invoke Prejudice prices to skyrocket.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[spectre]

Also link me a deck that completely murders planeswalkers. Like I want the game to be so unfun for PW decks that I cause them to slash their wrists IRL.

Do you have any favorites you want to show the middle finger to in particular? Mine is Nissa, I hate the cunt more than all the teferi's combined, for some reason.
It's always fun when the other guy clicks frantically with Nissa not realizing there's a Distinguished Advokist on board. Slap an Eidolon of Obstruction on Top and they'll love it.
What I'm saying, it's quite possible to make them regret their life choices without building a dedicated deck. Questing Beast is another card they should love (really great if you can boost the power somehow,
equipped with Shadowspear is one of my favorites).
Playing against black will also be miserable for the archetype. Eliminates, Muderous Riders, Duresses are all staples you can play at 3-4x each without too much thought,
and they should cover a good bunch of this faggotry. Then there's the Elderspell, but it's a weird one. It's generally sideboard material, unless you play your own 'wankers and use it to feed your Nico Bolo.
"Completely Murder" is perhaps a bit of a stretch, but in UGR reclamation decks Storm's Wrath with Scorching Dragonfires (Expand as necessary) means their walkers just might not live for too long, even if there's an entire board worth of this crap.

Stop me from making a gimmick deck involving Tavern Swindler, Indulging Patrician and Vito.

Well, gain 3 is pretty much a forced archetype in M21.
At least make a decent one:

Spoiler

Not saying it's Mythic-worthy, but should be good fun, and is rather budget friendly if you have the lands.
Always fun to blow up the board then have all the ghouls bounce back.
Or turn Erebos Intervention into a lose X life.
The Dawn of Hope slot is flexible, feel free to use whatever feels needed,
Despark, one more Sioribn, different kind of draw, etc.

Deck
4 Basilica Bell-Haunt (RNA) 156
4 Charming Prince (ELD) 8
2 Dawn of Hope (GRN) 8
3 Erebos's Intervention (THB) 94
4 Griffin Aerie (M21) 22
3 Kaya's Wrath (RNA) 187
4 Oath of Kaya (WAR) 209
4 Revitalize (M19) 35
4 Silversmote Ghoul (M21) 122
2 Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord (WAR) 217
3 Vito, Thorn of the Dusk Rose (M21) 127
4 Swamp (ANA) 63
4 Temple of Silence (M20) 256
2 Fabled Passage (ELD) 244
3 Plains (ANA) 61
4 Godless Shrine (RNA) 248
4 Scoured Barrens (M21) 250
3 Castle Locthwain (ELD) 241
[/spolier]

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Do you have any favorites you want to show the middle finger to in particular?

Teferi is #1 with Ugin not too far behind. I wish I could put into words the hatred I feel when I see these two cards get plopped down.

Is there any reason why PWs don't wait a turn to use their abilities like how most monsters are summoning sickness'd? Just seems like a lot of headaches would be alleviated if I could Murderous Rider the sparkle dragon before he does damage and not after.

 

[Thac0]

Do you have any favorites you want to show the middle finger to in particular?

Teferi is #1 with Ugin not too far behind. I wish I could put into words the hatred I feel when I see these two cards get plopped down.

Is there any reason why PWs don't wait a turn to use their abilities like how most monsters are summoning sickness'd? Just seems like a lot of headaches would be alleviated if I could Murderous Rider the sparkle dragon before he does damage and not after.

WotC wants to make fat cash of planeswalkers by favouring them hard with the rules. Easiest change to walkers would be to pass priority after they enter the battlefield automatically once. This way you could kill a planeswalker at instant speed before your opponent gets a single activation off of it, but it wouldnt utterly destroy them since you could still use them the turn they come down after your opponent passes priority back to you if he doesnt have removal.

Currently the only colour that can fight Planeswalkers in an even way is blue. If you dont defeat them on the stack you lose. Simic Flash should be one of the better decks to kill walkers with until rotation, as long as you manage to counter the time nigger on 3.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[Thac0]

Do you have any favorites you want to show the middle finger to in particular?

Teferi is #1 with Ugin not too far behind. I wish I could put into words the hatred I feel when I see these two cards get plopped down.

Is there any reason why PWs don't wait a turn to use their abilities like how most monsters are summoning sickness'd? Just seems like a lot of headaches would be alleviated if I could Murderous Rider the sparkle dragon before he does damage and not after.

its even better. Walker loyality point resolves before effect is put on stack. So if you play red and want to react by blowing pure dmg in walker face, you got to cast more spells

as long as you manage to counter the time nigger on 3.

unless you are on the draw and enemy got geese/elf/sloth...

To be fair making the loyalty changes not a cost, but part of the ability resolution would be even more degenerate. Now you can -3 or ulti a planeswalker, and before the ability resolves cast a flicker or a bounce on it. You get the ulti and the planeswalker returns to your hand/the board with default loyalty. That or you make really wonky rules where planeswalker abilities fizzle on the stack when the planeswalker leaves the battlefield.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Is it weird I don't mind losing to the goblin machete rape gang but hate losing to a bunch of gay elves?

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Had one of those hour long games against a white lifegain deck. End health was 700 for me, 1800 for opponent, only ended because I Vito/Blood combo'd into a DRAW.

The things I do for 50 gold.

 

[new fucking guy]

only ended because I Vito/Blood combo'd into a DRAW.

how the fuck, this should win the game. is it broken on arena?

 

[Thac0]

only ended because I Vito/Blood combo'd into a DRAW.

how the fuck, this should win the game. is it broken on arena?

They added incredibly shitty infinite loop protection to combat infinite turn Tef5eri/Nexus cheese back then. It is incredibly shit and basically forces a draw when ever the stack gets longer than a certain amount. One of the many reasons why combo in arena is not fun.

Not me just a random example online.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[Thac0]

Anything big tomorrow? an event?

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

They added incredibly shitty infinite loop protection to combat infinite turn Tef5eri/Nexus cheese back then. It is incredibly shit and basically forces a draw when ever the stack gets longer than a certain amount. One of the many reasons why combo in arena is not fun.

Weird, I wonder how they determine that since I'm positive I've gone over 100+ triggers on the stack without that happening. And I think that was after T5feri and Nexus rotated.

Speaking of Vito, I was taking a shower last night and was thinking about how there could be some fun with death pings, either in mono black or Orzhov. Because as I was scrubbing my balls I was pondering if it would be better as a historic deck or a standard deck, as one does. Probably the biggest thing in favor of historic is gaining access to Blood Artist, but in standard you do still have access to Bastion of Remembrance and standard MIGHT be a little more forgiving of a durdling deck like this. General gist of course is combining ping/heals with creature deaths (Largely with artist and bastion) probably with the fucking cat/oven combo (Because it's black and fits too well to ignore) with Vito sprinkled in there to essentially double all your bullshit, and then the 3cmc Bloodthirst Aerialist for a growing threat with evasion. Pings can probably close out games on their own sometimes but the aerialist feels like it just slots in easily as another threat. Whisper Squad might not be bad either. Piper of the Swarm may also be acceptable for pooping out tokens to sacrifice, little iffy on that. Feel like skeletons and Dreadhorde Invasion could keep the sac fodder up, along with the cat.

Spoiler

Deck
4 Blood Artist (JMP) 206
16 Swamp (M21) 311
4 Vito, Thorn of the Dusk Rose (M21) 127
4 Cauldron Familiar (ELD) 81
4 Witch's Oven (ELD) 237
4 Bastion of Remembrance (IKO) 73
4 Reassembling Skeleton (M19) 116
4 Phyrexian Arena (8ED) 152
3 Phyrexian Tower (JMP) 493
3 Castle Locthwain (ELD) 241
3 Order of Midnight (ELD) 99
4 Bloodthirsty Aerialist (M20) 91
3 Dreadhorde Invasion (WAR) 86

Something along those lines anyway. No sideboard since I haven't even got the cards to play it anyway, but I think I'll try it out in the FNM event. I feel like it'll probably just get rolled over in an instant, but I'm curious to try it out. Stuff like Phyrexian Tower is also kinda nice for it, and though Phyrexian Arena and Dreadhorde Invasion might get costly in life upkeep, since the deck should theoretically be giving you a ton of healing triggers it might work out, especially if each sac is doing 3+ damage to your opponent's dome.

Edit: Actually changing Vito to a 3-of is probably a wise move because he's arguably the most do-nothing card in a vacuum (Except I guess the oven, but you gotta have 4 ovens), and since he's a legend you don't really want extras stinking up your hand. May be worth running 4 towers too, to help smooth out some of the mana needs of a fair part of the deck. Hm. And biggest potential problem is a durdling black deck like this getting stomped by a durdling ramp deck that drops an Ulamog or Eugene, and I'm not sure there's much I could do to help against that matchup. Especially in a BO1 build for testing in the FNM thing, since the potential obvious answer would be sideboard Ashiok to cockblock deck-searching and exile graveyards to smack down a lot of ramp and remove Uro.

 

[anvi]

Hows this game?

 

[Thac0]

Hows this game?

For me its nothing but the best digital card game on the market. And I have played the following card games extensively in video game form:
Elder Scrolls Legends, Yu-Gi-Oh, Spellweaver, Hearthstone, Gwent, Runeterra, Duelyst, Artifact, Mythgard
and tested the following
Shadowverse, Eternal, Gods Unchained, Faeria, Might and Magics gay cardgame and a few others not worthy of being mentioned.

Magic just has a rock solid gameplay core with decades of innovation to straighten out the kinks. From the list above the only card games which are even remotely punching in the same weightclass are Mythgard and Elder Scrolls Legends. Duelyst and Gwent used to be cool before they made sweeping changes that killed the games. Spellweaver is cute but has so little player numbers and just a single dev that it is technically dead. Magic is the top dog.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG