Inactive [LP CYOA] Overlord

[Baltika9]

Trust treave to us with the dog or cat question. Well played treave. Well played.

Yeah, this is the ultimate internet argument.

That's because they have to scheme for the world domination. Dogs are braindead, so they don't have to worry about these things.

Dogs help you get laid, son. There's a reason the term 'wing dog' exists.

 

[Nevill]

I don't recall cats doing anything productive either physically, or mentally.

That's because you were tasking wrong cats with guard duty.

I think we are a bit weaker that before.

But we also didn't cast it at full force before, and our mana reserves are even greater now than they were.

I just want to give Smashing Axe his 5 minutes of glory:

Spoiler

Anticipating shit like this eventually with this CYOA.

...before we inevitably turn our character into a banal do-gooder.

 

[Baltika9]

I bet the princess is a dog person. A shared interest in pets helps with couple bonding. Especially if those pets are dogs.

Anyway, I have a more serious question:

You try to roll away. You make it, but you had forgotten to compensate for your wings yet again. The axe tears through one of your new wings excruciatingly – the left one – and slams into the pool, throwing up a large spray of water. A large fissure opens up in the ground, the waterfall now spilling into the new chasm unhindered. You grit your teeth in pain. Thankfully, the thoughtless attack has temporarily obscured your location from the angry demon princess. You have less than a second to act. From the power of her strikes, which you well understand from fighting her in the Demon Lord’s castle, Forceshield would be useless, and Displacement would be less effective thanks to the area effected by the destructive force generated through her swings. Resorting to Gigadyne is an option, but perhaps you do not need to go that far. Thinking quickly, you make your move.

As the mist dies down, the water draining to a lower level, the first thing she sees is you charging at her, fire blazing from your fingers.

“Did you think I would fall for a doppleganger?” shouts the demon, seeing through your ruse in an instant. She blocks the fire easily and spins around, whirling her battle-axe to cleave everything around her into two. Doing that, it would not matter if you were using the doppleganger to flank her.

From protection to destruction; let magic’s lifesblood burn in dazzling fury. Right before her axe connects with the clone, you finish the chant: “Spell Maximize: Mana Destruction.” You cast the spell on your own doppleganger, detonating the magic used to create it. The resulting explosion of mana rocks the entire area, blowing a good portion of the ruins apart. Irreparable damage to a national historical preservation site, most likely – you are certain that Rennock would have chewed your head off over your disregard for collateral damage, noble paladin that he was – but as a caster in wartime you had developed a tendency towards flashy spells that deal a lot of damage to a lot of people in very little time. Much easier that way, you’d found; plus such shows of force tend to make a statement and scare trouble off. Now, if you are lucky…

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I think casting a full-powered Gigadyne sounds like a poor idea. We might bring the whole place down, judging by how fragile it is.

 

[Elfberserker]

It is almost like you are saying that you should take a dog if you don't want to be a villain.

Villains always lose. That's how the story goes. But before that, they get to live a great life!

Villains with cats may have a history of losing, but villains with dogs didn't even register on the history radar, so insignificant they were. Show me three prominent villains with dogs! You can't find them! Dogs are a stigma of a good person. Like a paladin. Blergh

So says the guy who voted angel choice out of all possibility demonic and monster forms.
We both know that we cannot tread on tradition roles anymore like power hungry villain or demonic or terrifying undead villains. Choosing a cat is like stopping a train with a stick.

Unshackle yourself from that last link called tradition and embrace yourself with the dawn of victorious revolutionally overlord with the dog!!!!!!!!

Besides Cerberus is one fucking badass dog and I want one.

Flopping to B A3


Edit: Posted wrong smiley

 

[oscar]

B2

 

[Rex Feral]

A
A4

 

[Esquilax]

You cast the spell on your own doppleganger, detonating the magic used to create it. The resulting explosion of mana rocks the entire area, blowing a good portion of the ruins apart. Irreparable damage to a national historical preservation site, most likely – you are certain that Rennock would have chewed your head off over your disregard for collateral damage, noble paladin that he was
...
“Something about… I’m not too sure how to pronounce that name… the lord of this land being angry if he is awoken from his slumber, and that if he does, their apologies, but we would have to become food to appease his anger because if we do not, he would eat three dozen of them, so would we powerful ones kindly leave and take our fight elsewhere before the lord wakes up. That’s what they want.” After pausing for a while, she adds, “Probably.”

Gentlemen, we've found ourselves a wonderful historical site to serve as our Evil Overlord lair and we've just encountered a bunch of goblins that will no doubt serve as our first minions. Let's not be hasty and blow the whole fucking place up. I know that it's more certain to just nuke everything with Gigadyne, but I'm fairly confident that our protagonist and Demon Tsun-Princess can handle the minotaur together.

Oh, and I want a doggie!

B A3

 

[Rex Feral]

What A4 means we obliterate everything? I hope we just obliterate the minotaur leaving the imps and demoness in awe.

 

[Azira]

I cannot take Esquilax seriously anymore. Voting for the dog option, really? You're no Bond villain, nor will you ever be.

 

[Esquilax]

What A4 means we obliterate everything? I hope we just obliterate the minotaur leaving the imps and demoness in awe.

Well, in our brief fight with the Tsun-Demon Princess, there was already a little bit of collateral damage. What do you think is going to happen if we throw our signature spell, with everything we've got, at the minotaur?

 

[Esquilax]

The word 'dog' is a slur for a reason.

So is "pussy".

Those guys - all amateurs:

We are a Lord of the Underworld, we need our very own Cerberus!

 

[Grimgravy]

A - Dogs are to damn outgoing and to much work for our SLACKER ass. Come on. We wouldn't be taking an animal for walks. Cats are the animal version of us! There is no way we are a dog person.
A3 - Lets not blow our whole load at once.

 

[Azira]

So is "pussy".

Those guys - all amateurs:

We are a Lord of the Underworld, we need our very own Cerberus!

So you take a derivative of the orignal word (show us where "cat" is a slur), try to spin it as a negative thing (like "bitch" or "cur"), then proceed to show us a "villain" who went on to commit suicide when things didn't go his way?
You, sir, are behind on points.

 

[Kz3r0]

So is "pussy".

Are you telling us that you don't like pussy?

 

[Baltika9]

I cannot take Esquilax seriously anymore. Voting for the dog option, really? You're no Bond villain, nor will you ever be.

I would hope not, since they always lose.

 

[Nevill]

You want to win, you join the good guys, aka Theseus and Goddesses. Didn't they have a major victory recently?

 

[Baltika9]

Hell yeah I want to win. I'm not going into this LP expecting or planning to lose. Also, I don't think the Goddesses are actually the good guys, just the majority.

 

[Kayerts]

I see where this is going.

Page 96

Update 7
One of your minions offers to make you a sandwich. What do you choose to put on it?

Page 113:

Anyone who chooses beef just wants more beef UP THEIR BUTTS.

Yeah well the only reason you want mayonnaise is so that you can pretend it's Kyle's jizz.

I'm voting pickles just because I'm still angry about how you all voted to say "hi" instead of "hello" two updates ago and fucked us all

 

[Baltika9]

That's some kind of super-secret GM convo, right?

 

[profreshinal]

I'd like a giant minotaur pet dog so 1B.

Best to conserve the gygadyne for the real fight against the tsundere so A3

BA3

 

[Esquilax]

So you take a derivative of the orignal word (show us where "cat" is a slur), try to spin it as a negative thing (like "bitch" or "cur"), then proceed to show us a "villain" who went on to commit suicide when things didn't go his way?
You, sir, are behind on points.

Just giving Nevill a hard time. Honestly, a cat might be more fitting for this protagonist provided that it's as lazy as he is.

Are you telling us that you don't like pussy?

Well, if you asked Lambchop, he would accuse me (and pretty much everyone else, I'd imagine) of voting in favour of MEN every single time and being in love with Theseus.

 

[Rex Feral]

Nah, someone who mastered that spell can unleash hell with it as well as pinpoint the damage to a single point. I'll trust our skill.

 

[Kipeci]

Are you people out of your mind? What is wrong with you?

Are you even the same people who voted for the DC mastermind character?

You know what we are talking about here? Villains and cats!

Look at this! Look, look!

What is common about all these people? All are villains. All have cats. It is an attribute that every successful mastermind must have. It is so necessary it became a staple of the genre. People just don't take you seriously if you don't have one.

"IT IS TRADITION."

I can go on and on about great villains and evil cats. But can you name three - not good, let's say just decent - villains who would choose a dog to accompany them?

Dick Cheney, Putin? If what you say is true about us becoming like the pet that we have, I'd like nothing more than to be a spaniel as that's what the great Comrade Stalin had. Cats are bullshit to deal with, any sensible overlord would have a dog instead.

You, who have picked a quiet scholar valuing brains over brawn, want to deprive us of the biggest asset a schemer could ask for!

I mean, we aren't talking about minions. We are not talking what one would look for in a servant. We are talking about pets, the animals of choice. The pets are extensions of their Master. Minions are expendable, the pets are almost as sacred as your own person. You look for the same qualities in pets that you treasure in yourself, and they gradually take after you in all things. Whether one is a cat-person or a dog-person says more about a man than a resume would.

No, we want a monopoly on being a lazy asshole who expects others to serve them in our fortress. Cats are vicious little jerks that murder much more agreeable flying dinosaurs for no reason and spread the resulting mess everywhere in an attempt to intimidate others into submission, and I don't want any of that insubordination at the expense of righteous bird bros.

Loyalty?

You want us to be loyal? You want us to be a drooling happy-go-lucky friend-loving abomination that isn't worty the mantle of an evil sidekick, much less a villain? You want us to continue being the goddesses' bitch, happily wagging our tail in mindless extasy the moment they throw us a bone? 'cause a dog would do that in a heartbeat.

The word 'dog' is a slur for a reason.

What's a register of a smart cat? The smartest cat in the world still doesn't do shit. Dogs can potentially register vocabularies of up to a thousand words, do math, and become goddamn astronauts. I like our guy to relax so that he may, in his leisure, come up with really cool magic to avoid doing work and still do something impressive, like being a goddamn astronaut and shooting beyond the atmosphere while lying down on our ass. I don't even care if we burn up in a screaming wreck in the atmosphere like Laika so long as we can be as cool as that dog.

(Also, if the goddesses are willing to offer boning ecstasy... we betrayed them for demon titties, it would only be consistent to fold back in should more celestial ones be offered.)

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

ffs, cat people are usually gay fishstick lovers.

BA3

I agree that we may be weaker. I'd rather not transform into electricity until I know we have the power to do so properly.

 

[Nevill]

Dick Cheney, Putin?

Comrade Putin doesn't count! Everyone knows he is one of the good guys.

Cats are vicious little jerks that murder much more agreeable flying dinosaurs for no reason and spread the resulting mess everywhere in an attempt to intimidate others into submission

As I said, they take after the owner. Look at what we are trying to achieve:

as a caster in wartime you had developed a tendency towards flashy spells that deal a lot of damage to a lot of people in very little time. Much easier that way, you’d found; plus such shows of force tend to make a statement and scare trouble off.

We were made for each other.

What's a register of a smart cat? The smartest cat in the world still doesn't do shit.

See? That's the beauty of it! They plan their lives so that don't have to do shit and they are still fed and cared for and loved and get whatever they want with no effort. It is the ultimate scheme and our dream. We could learn much from them.

Dogs can potentially register vocabularies of up to a thousand words, do math, and become goddamn astronauts. I like our guy to relax

You want to delegate accounting and correspondence duties to a dog. Gotcha.

Spoiler

And then we are surprized why not everything goes according to our kunning plans.

I agree that we may be weaker. I'd rather not transform into electricity until I know we have the power to do so.

FFS, we have twice more mana than we did when we were a hero!

No, of course the Codex will get into an arduous and prolonged battle of mediocrities instead of awing everyone with their awesomeness. I don't know what I expected.