The immediate loot is nice and all that, but this place looks like infested with
Zerg.
We actually don't have this spell yet.
Now we do.
What the fuck!? Didn't you promise no more beholders?
It's a gauth. I'm sure You can handle one gauth.
Sure I can, but that's not the point.
Let me just backstab it... Wait, it failed.
They don't really have a back to stab.
Eyestabs should work even better.
Ouch!
DIE!
Nice. I'm sure there are no more floating eye-creatures here for us to deal with.
Fuck this world all the way to the darkest pits of hell. I'm not fighting these. I am going to ignore them and just keep exploring.
Suit Yourself.
Hide in shadows, don't fail me now.
This lone hovering bundle of pupils and irises seems like a perfect victim.
We tried another backstab, alas with no result.
Scared? AS YOU SHOULD BE!
A word of explanation is in order. The Beholder group we've met earlier came to help their distressed mate. Nice of them, right? It all happened so fast, I wasn't able to take the screenshot.
Death Count: 112
Loading.
I hate fucking beholders.
Let's see what Beholder Squad
Rescue Rangers say about this.
Chaos ensues.
Why do you see me? WHY DO YOU SE ME!?
This is what you get when You entrust Your life to a thief (skill).
Death Count: 113
Load game.
That failed skill check could not have happened at a worse moment.
The lone Beholder left after we cast Cloud Kill, so we take the opportunity to loot the, uh, container.
Do You have this one in Your spellbook already?
I do now.
What am I supposed to do with you assheads...
Let's see... Can their inflict wounds spells be stopped by MGoI?
Die, die die!
Obviously, our protection was inadequate.
Death Count: 114
Reload.
Well, it didn't work, but at least I know some of them have been roughed up pretty badly by the cloudkill.
Maybe if I suffocate them a little bit more...
...and confuse them...
Yes, I am not sure what the next step of our hero was supposed to be either.
Death Count: 115
Load game.
I need these flying fuckers to disperse. They're too dangerous cluttered up in that one huge mass of eyes.
This should do the trick.
And to help my case just a bit...
A-HA! Now you die!
Brought your big brother, have you?
The Gauth escaped up north, and the Beholder came from that direction. Luckily The Codex managed to trigger his Hide In Shadows just in time.
Gauth, beholder, all the same for me!
And of course the Gauth comes back just as we kill the Beholder.
COMMERCIAL BREAK: The Codex recommends Old John's Oil of Speed for all those moments when You just need the extra attack in a round.
I sure do!
Available in apple, strawberry and potato flavours.
WhyDon'tYouTryEscapingNow? OhYeahYouCan'tBecauseYou'reDead!
IAmGoingToFuckThemUp.
ColdAin'tIt!?
Ha! Weren't able to catch up with me.
The Oil of Speed wore off, so let's no try this again at the moment.
On the contrary. The survivors must be really close to death now. Another shot could do the trick.
Taste the frostbite!
Well, everyone is still alive.
Let me rephrase my previous statement: everyone important is still alive.
Death Count: 116
Loading.
I am pretty sure you've made some smug comment about my death already, so let's just go back to killing beholders.
Since I can't kill them both at once, the plan is to separate the sons of bitches.
Exactly what I wanted.
YES!
No worries, you'll join your friend soon enough!
Huh.
Death Count: 117
Reloading.
Are we saving all those healing potions for hard times? Because the current times aren't so great either.
Ok, we can heal a bit.
Ah, the small things in life always bring the most joy.
Is this the other gauth from that large group? Did it escape all the way here, after I gave them the horror treatment?
Maybe?
I really hate these guys. They always take away a large chunk of my HP before they die.
The Ring of Regeneration proves invaluable in times like this.
Look what I've found.
I'm a guy, I don't have a quick slot.
I think they mean the inventory.
Uh, yeah, obviously.
Actually, my familiar is a cat, but since you're blind, it's a good enough guess, I think.
Well, that did not go as well as it could, obviously.
Death Count: 118
Load.
I've come up with an idea to come back to this place after I've explored the rest of the level. You know, for
better dramatic effect.
Right.
Oh look, a single beholder.
Oh, look, a held adventurer.
Oh, look... ah, fuck this.
Death Count: 119
Loading.
I wouldn't mind my saving throws improved a bit.
The Beholder does not get lucky the second time.
We are rewarded for our effort.
That's a pretty cool weapon, but we all know the old Chinese saying: better a two-handed sword with proficency than a halberd without it.
Another new spell.
Good thing I am so brilliant I always successfully copy all the spells to my spellbook.
Yes.
Always. We wouldn't cheat by save scumming on something like this, right.
Of course not.
I wonder how this stuff got here.
Has anyone ever used darts in this game, on a regular basis? I mean, really...
Ok, this is relatively unexpected.
Time for some gas grenades.
And while all your friends are asleep, I am going to spike you with arrows!
It seems not all of them were affected by the Stinking Cloud.
Yeah, you know, I haven't actually joined this cult and still have my eyes.
AAAAH, my face! It burns my face off!
That was close!
Somehow we manage to disappear from their line of sight and hide in shadows.
I'll just stand over here for a minute and regenerate.
So, these two guys apparently are the only ones that did not resist my spell.
Am I supposed to be alarmed seeing this pretty spell?
No idea.
I'll just ignore it, then.
Oh, no.
Ouch. I really would not want to be in our hero's shoes at the moment.
Actually, death was a salvation this time.
Death Count: 120
Loading game.
We shall not talk about this.
Are You...
EVER.
These priests shall fall before my holy might.
No worries, in a moment you won't need that kidney anyway.
Told you.
The others priests came back to help, so we retreated.
The Exorcist!
Are you now going to shout random horror names when casting this?
I wish I had thought about this sooner. So many wasted opportunities!
Tell your god, I'm coming for him too. And soon.
Hahaha! Hit hard and hide, just like the
Predator!
I admit that You are one ugly mothe-
Shut. The fuck. Up.
You really should not walk alone in this neighbourhood...
...You never know what might be lurking in the shadows!
I see there's a line forming up. No worries, I've got plenty of death for everyone.
However, I dislike crowds.
Hey, I found someone's dog... Ok, nevermind!
Let's see if the Elite Blind Priest Force has magical weapons equipped.
I will hack your flesh and devour your souls!
Ha! See? Your petty divine magic is useless. I am invincible!
That was one lucky Magic Resistance check.
I guess one of the priests is Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Adrien Brody.
Death Count: 121
Reload.
I might have gotten a bit carried away.
This will allow me to eliminate one of them for long enough to deal with the others.
Could work.
The creature inside the sphere is paralyzed, but it also can't be hurt in any way.
It's the final countdown, tadadada: three!
Two!
One!
Since you're still unavailable, I will take advantage of the moment and get something to drink, awkay?
Ah. Ready, I presume?
Moving into melee? Really...?
As they say: it's your death! And that would be: zero.
We're long overdue for a Fighter level up.
Oh yes.
We used the weapon proficiency point to get our first star in short swords. Not an optimal choice, probably.
Alright. Nothing else left to do here other than kill old UE.
Ah, there you are. You know what, I am in a charitable mood today, so I won't be using this rod of something-or-other against you. Just my regular stuff.
Ok, I admit that this stung a bit.
Fuck! Shit! How many of these spells do you have there?
Good thing we've quaffed a few potions in the meantime.
Yeah. Oh and by the way. All these horrid wiltings gave me an idea. I believe I've just devised a new spell.
You did?
Yeah. You're gonna love it. It is called
Mico-Selva's Horrible Writing. It lowers the target's intelligence and wisdom to three, while compelling him to keep writing inane stuff and share it with other people. Awesome, huh?
Exquisite. I also have an idea.
Haha. Yeah?
Why don't walk toards the Unseeing Eye and let him take a good look at You.
Wait!
Oh, how could this have happened?
Death Count: 122
Load.
Alright. You've made your point. Now can we take this fight seriously?
Nothing would make me happier.
Obviously, these horrid wiltings can be directed at a more suitable target than myself.
Like this volunteer here.
Go get him, L.A.E.!
Ooh, that gotta hurt.
Okay. How much of a chance that he has another of these spells prepared?
I'd say fifty-fifty.
I'll take that risk.
AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!
Kind of a mixed bag there. The Codex failed his Fear saving throw, but at least his Magic Resistance saved him from dying after Power Word, Kill, which was extremely lucky.
Even more luck: Unseeing Eye did not follow our hero into the room, and the panic did not lead us outside too!
That was no luck, that was my badassery!
Of course.
After healing (would not want to risk another Power Word, Kill to the face) we go after our target. He tries to Power Word, Stun us, but to no avail.
And it seems that all his protection spells are long gone. Awesome.
We pierce him with arrows while he closes into melee.
Lilarcor always knows what to say.
I would be rather upset at this point, but we saved the game after Fear had worn off.
Death Count: 123
Restore save point.
This fucker bites hard.
As of this moment, you're not only unseeing, but also toothless.
FUCKYEEEEEAAAAH LILARCOR!
Yeeeehaw!
That last critical hit was a nice touch.
What. I got better stuff by giving money to shadow thieves.
Area completed!
Ah. And I was wondering where the exit will lead us.
Oh yeah, the rod. I forgot about it. I guess I might as well give it back.
I didn't need your shitty rod after all. You can have it.
Since we're already here, we might as well show the remnants of the plot.
Everybody can rest now. Except me, of course. You know, the guy who did ALL THE WORK.
Oh, nice.
Doing this for that... What? I have no idea what you're rambling about.
Are you guys waiting for me? Aww, you shouldn't have...
I have killed your god, and you still want to pick a fight with me? Talk about no survival instinct.
Here, taste some ice cream!
Ow. Ow. Ow.
Will this teach us not to go headfirst into difficult combat encounters? Of course not.
Death Count: 124
Loading.
That was abviously an armor class problem. They hit me with every attack.
Why don't we try this experimental setup then?
Wait, these guys have crossbows. I haven't noticed that before.
Huh. Me neither.
We ditch the shield, but since The Codex wears te Girdle of Piercing, he still has a -9 AC against arrows with the full plate on.
THAC0 of Elite Guards is not THAT good.
So we pick them off.
One...
...by one...
...by one.
Only the captain dropped something useful.
Cool, but it's a crossbow, so meh.
Useless shit.
I guess this is it, Gaal. You and me. Mano a mano. Bring it on.
Of course since your mano is a stick and mine is bow and arrows, the result is obvious.
Finally some good loot, I hope.
I am disappoint.
Area completed!
Roger the Fence always keeps enough money in his pockets to buy everything we want to get rid of.
And we want to get rid of a lot of shit. Have we actually found anything useful on this quest?
Some spell scrolls, maybe?
Discaimer: The Codex does not condone religious fantacisim.
Unless I am the object of the cult, that is.
Yeah, I'll stick to my gold and trinkets. You can keep your greatness, I have plenty of my own.
A pleasure doing business with you. We shall not meet again.
Seriously, this loot fucking sucks.
The good news is, we got a Thief level up out of this.
Awesome -> more awesome.
Does increasing Open Locks and Find Traps any further make any sense at this point? I am not sure.
Next time: The Codex becomes a Trojan horse.
I hope no actual shapeshifting will be involved.