Mission #8 - TRUE NEWS
True to Basho - it's time to spread some
real news for a change, Saint Proverbiaze the front page. Shillfags - your games are through!
Played this mission while drinking breakfast beers - couldn't squeeze in time in my super busy schedule to post it until now.
Objectives are simple enough - storm the place, find the boss and make him play that VCR tape Storyfag made off with.
Let's get to it:
(these guys used to be called BEATNIGS, great band name, music not so much but this 1 track rocks)
Much as I enjoy joking around with junior he wanted back in and he's bro - I let him re-roll as Junior Jr.
Wait, wut- bitch don't worry about it, it's like when Mark's "brother" showed up in A Better Tomorrow 2.
(He will probably get crippled as well though)
Also I played before boot signed up, will get to it in turn.
And there's the crew! Full deployment, all in to win! Place has three access points: SW, SE, NE.
Don't want anyone slipping out so we storm all of them at once!
Which is easier said than done. Anyway, rolling out - none of the cars can be utilized so we gotta evacuate on foot.
On my first playthrough of this game snipers fucking headshotted four of my guys as they tried to exit to the west.
Based on this haxxy foreknowledge, the plan is to grab a bunch of hostages and escape to the north-east.
Door kicked in - surprise asshole! First hostage taken, more will follow.
Token "Zanzoken" Sleepy Bill Crosby III rigs the door with a grenade.
Remember - only SWAT will trigger traps, terroris can pass them no problem.
Around the same time, lightbane rigs the front door with explosives. There's a guard up there in the lobby, he got away.
HOW!? I don't know how, I wasn't looking because even at speed 1 it's a pain to do all the real time orders. Whatever.
BTW guards in this games are pussies, never shoot at you, but if you take them captive you can liberate their equipment.
Well shit happens, Helly pulls a Robert on a guy at the urinals. Kiki time bro! No homo yo.
(yeah sure)
Up north Azira attempts to slav squat while waiting for targets.
That's his only job, to sit on his lazy ass, push a button when enemies appear, then run like hell.
I think it suits his personality perfectly.
In a mirror move (sort of) lightbane squats like a cool kid as well.
Token also doubles down on the front door enriching it with a booby trap grenade.
Fuckers probably won't get in anytime soon (and if they do, they'll get a one-way ticket to hell).
As we got most of the staff rounded up the friendly SWAT negotiator Sergeant Alvarez gives us a call.
Not sure if I showed you guys this before, but it gives a set of nice options:
I demanded MONEY just in case they'd actually deliver some (not likely).
Yeah Alvarez, sure thing. After shouting at the hostages for a while we find out who's the big boss.
He can broadcast the tape himself so other hostages are evacuated to the NE. However...
...he stubbornly refuses to cooperate! Tough guy huh.
Can't have that - baud guns down a hostage to show him we mean business!
Heheh, did the trick!
Bad news is the cops end negotiations if you kill captives. No big deal, doubt they would've given us cash anyway.
Das RITE! Broadcast goes out, sicko confesses all his crimes on the prime time. time to split.
And not a moment to soon - Corvinus sees a bunch of sickos moving in.
Clicking like crazy!
Got him! Seconds later I use Junior Jr. to take out the cop in the northwest (couldn't be bothered to change his small portraits).
Corvinus blows up the cop corpse with a grenade for good measure (don't ask)
...and Junior Jr. shoots a bitch cop! Two kills, and here I thought he'd die.
Everyone gets out except for Azira and lightbane. SWAT advances in tactical formation...
Heheheh-
BOOM! Never gets old!
And with his job done, Azira gets out as well.
Which only leaves lightbane, whom I sort of left there because he got uppity before. Thing is he refuses to die.
Couldn't get a clear line of sight so I gambled and blew up the TNT. Don't think it killed anyone. Anyway, high time to leave!
Made a run for the NE exit but the cops had it locked down.
Sheeeeit! - did a 180.
Going for the SE exit instead.
Go go go!
Dumbass A.I. is easily out-maneuvered.
Cracka fools ain't even got da parking lot covered. Well actually they sort of did - while rushing forth I heard a couple of SNIPER SHOTS!
...which missed! This lucky Allahu Akbar patriot doged SWAT sniper team and made it out in one piece. Respect!
To add insult to casualties, a dumbass cop triggered the booby trap while breaching the front door. Not a kill but an injury.
So what's the tally? ELECTRIFYING that's what - probably the best played mission to date.
Maybe I lucked out, the cops were so dumb this mission.
Dark Overlord Basho is a bit displeased that we shot the hostage but overall it's no big deal.
In retrospect, you can probably win over the station manager by using cults tracts on him and give him FOOD provided by SWAT.
Funny thing is, we won him over anyway - old guy joined the Order after some intense "persuasion" sessions. Based stats tbh.
Junior Senior is gimped as always. Well, waddya gon do. Kinda wish we didn't have to pay him those $50 bucks a week though.
As for our bro MoistCloister, he's still locked up on bullshit charges. Wtf is our lawyer doing? Pull that thumb out.
TO BE CONTINUED