Do the Eleutheroi become more aggressive on harder difficulties? On my Sweboz run, I ended up attacking Boii with a full stack on siege and a half stack standing fairly close by and despite being within range of the outside stack, they didn't really attack me. They just sort of wandered off to give the Romans a headache once I had the city conquered.
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Completed Let's Play Europa Barbarorum (Sweboz)
- Thread starter Ivar the Boner
- Start date
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Yes, I think VH is only difficulty on which Eleutheroi will attack your cities (but that happens really rarely even then) but I don't know if it changes anything in behavior of "rebel" standing armies.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 6 - Remove or be removed. Difficult decisions and harsh reality of being european politician.
Men, I think we found Italioans weakness, they are all horsies at hearts and pikes works vell again them GWAHAHAHAgaz!!1!eingaz. So, ve use same tactics, but zis time we deploy on a hill and not let zem throw zeir pila at us.
Our archers and slingers dropped quite a few of them but we have to charge now because letting them throw their pila last time was really stupid.
Roman captain is dead, now they should flee.
We denied them their pila throw and our losses are much lower this time.
I think we managed to upset them because roman armies that were sieging Viennos and Veldideno are now marching our way...
I was thinking how to bite this roman clusterfuck south of us, when it decided to bite us. We are fighting on our territory so I think we can keep Romans at bay until Sweboz reform kicks in (around 190 B.C) but this reform will give us only heavy cavalry and heavy infantry and I don't think it will help us much fighting romans. We can't expand anrymore because we are surrounded by "extremely strong" Eleutheroi with respawning doomstacks. Those Eleutheroi are designed to stop AI expansion, not the player, and EB team says you are free to cheat yourself victory with them if you wish so. But I don't wish so, I actually want them to keep stopping AI expansion (I don't feel like bordering Getai or Sauromatae) so I'm seriously considering backstabbing Arverni, they are not at war with romans anyway...
But first we have to deal with this. But we are standing on a hill and they are attacking so we should be all kinds of fine.
Shieeeeeet.
I tried to set up another ambush but romans didn't fell into it, now our "bait" is kinda screwed. We will shoot romans, throw some sticks at them and then GTFO.
Holy shit we won.
Romans did series of stupid shit and we managed to defeat them quite soundly.
Indeed.
Roman offensive seems to stopped, I kinda wish they will conquer Rhaetia (Vel-dido something) se we could take it from them, but meanwhile...
Aeudigaz, take zis because ve are about to backstab your Gaulic Arverni friends and ve don't want you to be mad at us...
Yeah blessingaz, now, don't be race-traitor and backstab us while ve backstab zem k?
Vill good var vill follow? spoiler: IT VILL GWAHAHHAHAgaz!!1!!
We need Vesontio to meet victory conditions anyway.
Gutentagaz Herr Cornelius, say herro to my ze pikes here and remember zat Wodan en Donar bunt achterneef'n van mien!
Naked-ass Celts are our new WUNDERWAFFEGAZ1!!1!eingaz because they boost morale of our troops and scare the shit out of romans.
Unfortunately Herr Cornelius survived.
We put quite a dent on the roman forces and now we must bring Herjawulfaz from potato places here and backstab Arverni.
You may think zat backstabbing Arverni is a dick move right? but you know vat? YOU ARE RIGHT! IT IS! GWAHAHAAHAHgaz!11 But, seriously guys, seriously, let's think it through. Ve fight romans right?, Auedi at least pretend zey also fight romans, and vat Arverni are doing? zey do jack shit, that's vat zey do. Zey have Ankyra and ven shit hits ze fan they can be liek, "LOL, WE TURKEY NAO!" and ve can't, so ve must do vat we must to stop ze roman wave, even if it means backstabbing our former alloys.
But ve can't leave ourselves exposed to ze romans so ve managed to get help from our loyal Keltic Swebros from Vindelicoppidos, zey said zey vill give us access to zeir choppaz, and zat vat ve need to fight romans. Our dudes with clubs are cool but smasha is not as good at removing romans as ze choppa.
Cornelius is back...
And he survived again.
Don't mind me Arverni, I'm just patrolling yo shit GWAHAHAHAgaz!!1!
You know vat? My brother-in-law maybe is not ze Sweboz but I think I like him, his tactics, even tough silly, works vell against Italioans and he is only man I can trust to keep Helveti border secure because he hates zem romans so much zat he won't even thing about doing anything sneaky while there are still Italioans to fight. He's a good man, I VILL KILL HIM LAST GWAHAHAHAHAgaz!!1!1 No, no, zast joking, von't kill him at all.
Yisss.
Ve got you with your panzers down Arverni! SUVMIT! Aedui von't help you becasue ve fucking bought them with jewgoldz!
Men, I think we found Italioans weakness, they are all horsies at hearts and pikes works vell again them GWAHAHAHAgaz!!1!eingaz. So, ve use same tactics, but zis time we deploy on a hill and not let zem throw zeir pila at us.
Our archers and slingers dropped quite a few of them but we have to charge now because letting them throw their pila last time was really stupid.
Roman captain is dead, now they should flee.
We denied them their pila throw and our losses are much lower this time.
I think we managed to upset them because roman armies that were sieging Viennos and Veldideno are now marching our way...
I was thinking how to bite this roman clusterfuck south of us, when it decided to bite us. We are fighting on our territory so I think we can keep Romans at bay until Sweboz reform kicks in (around 190 B.C) but this reform will give us only heavy cavalry and heavy infantry and I don't think it will help us much fighting romans. We can't expand anrymore because we are surrounded by "extremely strong" Eleutheroi with respawning doomstacks. Those Eleutheroi are designed to stop AI expansion, not the player, and EB team says you are free to cheat yourself victory with them if you wish so. But I don't wish so, I actually want them to keep stopping AI expansion (I don't feel like bordering Getai or Sauromatae) so I'm seriously considering backstabbing Arverni, they are not at war with romans anyway...
But first we have to deal with this. But we are standing on a hill and they are attacking so we should be all kinds of fine.
Shieeeeeet.
I tried to set up another ambush but romans didn't fell into it, now our "bait" is kinda screwed. We will shoot romans, throw some sticks at them and then GTFO.
Holy shit we won.
Romans did series of stupid shit and we managed to defeat them quite soundly.
Indeed.
Roman offensive seems to stopped, I kinda wish they will conquer Rhaetia (Vel-dido something) se we could take it from them, but meanwhile...
Aeudigaz, take zis because ve are about to backstab your Gaulic Arverni friends and ve don't want you to be mad at us...
Yeah blessingaz, now, don't be race-traitor and backstab us while ve backstab zem k?
Vill good var vill follow? spoiler: IT VILL GWAHAHHAHAgaz!!1!!
We need Vesontio to meet victory conditions anyway.
Gutentagaz Herr Cornelius, say herro to my ze pikes here and remember zat Wodan en Donar bunt achterneef'n van mien!
Naked-ass Celts are our new WUNDERWAFFEGAZ1!!1!eingaz because they boost morale of our troops and scare the shit out of romans.
Unfortunately Herr Cornelius survived.
We put quite a dent on the roman forces and now we must bring Herjawulfaz from potato places here and backstab Arverni.
You may think zat backstabbing Arverni is a dick move right? but you know vat? YOU ARE RIGHT! IT IS! GWAHAHAAHAHgaz!11 But, seriously guys, seriously, let's think it through. Ve fight romans right?, Auedi at least pretend zey also fight romans, and vat Arverni are doing? zey do jack shit, that's vat zey do. Zey have Ankyra and ven shit hits ze fan they can be liek, "LOL, WE TURKEY NAO!" and ve can't, so ve must do vat we must to stop ze roman wave, even if it means backstabbing our former alloys.
But ve can't leave ourselves exposed to ze romans so ve managed to get help from our loyal Keltic Swebros from Vindelicoppidos, zey said zey vill give us access to zeir choppaz, and zat vat ve need to fight romans. Our dudes with clubs are cool but smasha is not as good at removing romans as ze choppa.
Cornelius is back...
And he survived again.
Don't mind me Arverni, I'm just patrolling yo shit GWAHAHAHAgaz!!1!
You know vat? My brother-in-law maybe is not ze Sweboz but I think I like him, his tactics, even tough silly, works vell against Italioans and he is only man I can trust to keep Helveti border secure because he hates zem romans so much zat he won't even thing about doing anything sneaky while there are still Italioans to fight. He's a good man, I VILL KILL HIM LAST GWAHAHAHAHAgaz!!1!1 No, no, zast joking, von't kill him at all.
Yisss.
Ve got you with your panzers down Arverni! SUVMIT! Aedui von't help you becasue ve fucking bought them with jewgoldz!
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 7 - Remove or be removed.
After declaring good war on Arverni I decided to immidiately start recruiting another army for this guy here (he's cousin of Harjawulfaz or something). We should be able to maintain it but our income will be non-existant, it's allright because we don't have much to build anyway and we should still be able to send Aedui gift of 200-400 mnai every now and then.
Seriously? you attack us with 900 men?
Whatever romans.
Thanks for free experience!
Motherfuckers! they attacked us with some random family member who was chilling outside the city. Now we have to fight them in open field instead in nice gate choke point.
Courage men! and don't fuck zis up because ve vill look like bunch of idiots if ve loose zis!
Vell, my cousin or some shit is here to help us, I send him a raven-birdsie viz a message "do vat you vant, I don't care" so I don't have to order his men around. Also, I deployed us all wrong and we have to turn around GWAHAHAHAHAHAgaz!!11
Ze Arverni general got dungerously close to our line, I told our slingers to shoot ze shit out of him before main arverni force arrives.
Zem Kelts look like zey come for a fucking Waxie's Dargle not ze battle. And Romans calls US burberiaoans!!1
Zey finally got zeir shit together and now ve must charge because javelin exchange is for idiots, or guys in armors.
I vould gladly tell you vat is going on here but I have no fucking idea myself GWAHAHAHAHAgaz!!1!
Ve are kicking buttsies tough, and that's all zat mattress. Even my cousin is gettin' some, he's Sweboz afterall so he drank var wiz ze milk from his vater's tits.
Ve don't have iron swords (vell, I do, but my men don't) nor ze iron helemets (I do have one tough) but ve vill kick your asses Kelts, because ve drank ze var... etc, etc.
Run you bastards! see ya in Turkey GWAHAHAAHAHAgaz!!!1!eingaz
Now zey have jack shit in Vesontio. Ve shall build wall-smasha's and maybe STURM it next season... or maybe not, it depends.
We upgraded MIC in Gawjam-Silengoz and gained new regional unit. Germanic version of naked-ass weirdos, they have bonus for fighting in the woods, nice attack/defence and all those bonuses all naked weirdos have. Unfortunately they are extremely expensive to upkeep and only place where we can recruit them is Gawjam-Silengoz.
Triumph of ze Germanic military smart! ze PANZERKAMPFVALL-SMASHA!!!1!!eingaz
Vesontio seems to be pretty happy for having new overlords so we will just occupy it.
Sweboz listened to Heruwulfaz because he united the tribes. Now they will listen to Harjawulfaz because he drove Celts from their own shit and made their shit his shit.
Now germania is stronger and we can start thinking about conquering Aventicos. But we won't think about it too hard because Romans have a lot of soldiers there.
Arverni agreed to having ceasfire and trade rights with us. We don't have any further business being at war with them. I would even like to re-form our alliance again.
And we have new general for our army because our king can drop dead every second now. This guy is Harjawulfaz's son-in-law and we shalll send him to challenge this roman idiots that think are invisible in the woods.
That's not the guys we wanted to challenge at all.
Yeah... Well, we surrounded them but they kinda slaughtered shitton of us.
Who are those guys I don't even. But we are defending river crossing and they don't have general.
There is only when place where they can cross this river and we got it pretty well secured.
You better know how to swim you bastards.
Some of them reached our side. Charge! no Pila throw for them.
That's a nice revenge for losses we suffered in previous battle.
Jeez, romans launched some fucking Wacht Am Alps.
But they suffered heavy casualties. Not that we didn't, but we are on our clay so we can replenish our losses faster. It might be the time for some counter-offensive...
After declaring good war on Arverni I decided to immidiately start recruiting another army for this guy here (he's cousin of Harjawulfaz or something). We should be able to maintain it but our income will be non-existant, it's allright because we don't have much to build anyway and we should still be able to send Aedui gift of 200-400 mnai every now and then.
Seriously? you attack us with 900 men?
Whatever romans.
Thanks for free experience!
Motherfuckers! they attacked us with some random family member who was chilling outside the city. Now we have to fight them in open field instead in nice gate choke point.
Courage men! and don't fuck zis up because ve vill look like bunch of idiots if ve loose zis!
Vell, my cousin or some shit is here to help us, I send him a raven-birdsie viz a message "do vat you vant, I don't care" so I don't have to order his men around. Also, I deployed us all wrong and we have to turn around GWAHAHAHAHAHAgaz!!11
Ze Arverni general got dungerously close to our line, I told our slingers to shoot ze shit out of him before main arverni force arrives.
Zem Kelts look like zey come for a fucking Waxie's Dargle not ze battle. And Romans calls US burberiaoans!!1
Zey finally got zeir shit together and now ve must charge because javelin exchange is for idiots, or guys in armors.
I vould gladly tell you vat is going on here but I have no fucking idea myself GWAHAHAHAHAgaz!!1!
Ve are kicking buttsies tough, and that's all zat mattress. Even my cousin is gettin' some, he's Sweboz afterall so he drank var wiz ze milk from his vater's tits.
Ve don't have iron swords (vell, I do, but my men don't) nor ze iron helemets (I do have one tough) but ve vill kick your asses Kelts, because ve drank ze var... etc, etc.
Run you bastards! see ya in Turkey GWAHAHAAHAHAgaz!!!1!eingaz
Now zey have jack shit in Vesontio. Ve shall build wall-smasha's and maybe STURM it next season... or maybe not, it depends.
We upgraded MIC in Gawjam-Silengoz and gained new regional unit. Germanic version of naked-ass weirdos, they have bonus for fighting in the woods, nice attack/defence and all those bonuses all naked weirdos have. Unfortunately they are extremely expensive to upkeep and only place where we can recruit them is Gawjam-Silengoz.
Triumph of ze Germanic military smart! ze PANZERKAMPFVALL-SMASHA!!!1!!eingaz
Vesontio seems to be pretty happy for having new overlords so we will just occupy it.
Sweboz listened to Heruwulfaz because he united the tribes. Now they will listen to Harjawulfaz because he drove Celts from their own shit and made their shit his shit.
Now germania is stronger and we can start thinking about conquering Aventicos. But we won't think about it too hard because Romans have a lot of soldiers there.
Arverni agreed to having ceasfire and trade rights with us. We don't have any further business being at war with them. I would even like to re-form our alliance again.
And we have new general for our army because our king can drop dead every second now. This guy is Harjawulfaz's son-in-law and we shalll send him to challenge this roman idiots that think are invisible in the woods.
That's not the guys we wanted to challenge at all.
Yeah... Well, we surrounded them but they kinda slaughtered shitton of us.
Who are those guys I don't even. But we are defending river crossing and they don't have general.
There is only when place where they can cross this river and we got it pretty well secured.
You better know how to swim you bastards.
Some of them reached our side. Charge! no Pila throw for them.
That's a nice revenge for losses we suffered in previous battle.
Jeez, romans launched some fucking Wacht Am Alps.
But they suffered heavy casualties. Not that we didn't, but we are on our clay so we can replenish our losses faster. It might be the time for some counter-offensive...
Merkwürdigliebe
Arcane
Bumpgaz
And take all their clay.
And take all their clay.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 8 - Blood on Ice
Yeah, ve bros again right? but ve keep Viennos, you can't have it back. If Kelts are so fucking stupid maybe ve should take some towns from Aeudigaz and zen form alliance wiz zem again?
Also, our knights who say NI! arrived, zey are Sweboz so zey say NIgaz! GWAHAAHAHAHAHAgaz!1!!!einaz you get ze joke? NIGAZ! no? well, fuck.
Ok, time for our counter-offensive. I decided to send one army around to Vendelidildo because I think Rhaetic standing doomstack is gone and we should be able to take the city when we remove romans sieging it.
Romans tries to cross this river again, in winter. I will deny them this pleasure.
We have to push forward no matter how dangerous it is, we can't rot in our germania while romans are free to grow stronger.
... They just fucking love this river. Or hate the guy guarding it.
ZE VAY IS OPEN! Fifteen years have passed. Every day ze woods have cried the words of vengeance and revenge! It's time to start operation "Blood on Ice"!
They are trying to break the siege of Aventicos but we have good and experienced army here. And our king is leading it (not that he's any good, but a king is a king).
That's our formation - shieldwall in the center and mobile flanks, cavalry is only for chasing routing enemies, we won't have reliable cav until reform kicks in.
I ordered our range units to shoot romans to make them run towards us (we failed at that) or maybe even snipe their general (we also failed).
They reached our lines and now we must charge while they are out of formation.
We can't count on breaking their morale because that's not going to happen while their general is alive.
Aaand he died, now I want to see roman banners flashing white...
Awww yissss...
Now we just send our Gaulic cavalry to chase down routing romans (we are not using Sweboz cav because Gaulic Leuce Epos are cheaper).
Harjawulfaz is oldfag but he can still kick some ass (when he have army with shitton of Speudogordoz).
Now ve take Vendil-dildo and Aventicos. Ve must be quick tough, because vat ze romans do ven zey lose 3 legions? zey send six more!
City is ours, but Romans had some outside reinforcements and I will continue this battle to deal with them.
Unfortunately I told Harjawulfaz to man the ram for shits and giggles. General special ability (rally the troops) overwrite units special abilities ("drop the ram" for exampe) and he can't drop the damn thing now. So I told him to push this ram around and scream "chew chew chew!".
Fortunately we didn't need his assistance.
Aventicos will be occupied because people there are happy as pigs in shit.
Alipne dudes are not stoked though, they have to be enslaved.
Romans took nice nose-dive in faction rating due to their failed offensive but that will stop them for turn or two, we have to recruit more soldiers ASAP and prepare for more roman attacks. We should be able to recruit Alpine Phalanx in Veldideno, they work pretty much like our Speudogordoz but are cheaper and have armor piercing secondary weapon. This would be very nice unit to fight romans with.
Zat is a lot of romans but ve have all passes in alps secured. If some weirdo vill decide to pay visit to Italioans wiz elephants, he vill have to ask Harjawulfaz for permission. And if some romans vill want to pay ze vizit to ze other side of ze alps, zey vill have shit thrown in zeir general direction.
Also, ve started smear campaign against ze Italioans. Ve are sending a lot of goldz to Getai and keep telling zem that Romans are plotting against zem. Maybe ve vill be able to convince Getai to attack roma and open another front.
How about no?
Ve left one fucking tiny pass open and ze Italioans squizzed like ze rats they are. Zey vill have to be removed.
Zey are surrounded and outnumbered but it vill be fair fight? ze fuck zey have there?
I can't say I'm that much impressed. Ve should be fine as long reinforcements don't get lost and arrive in time.
Holy fuck, ve vill be coming from ze forest like in zis movie we watched yesterday!
reinforcements arrived, this should be cakewalk!
Italioans have no idea which army to fight!
Zis is not battle, zis is gang-rape.
Zey buggered off even though zey shouldn't be able to because we encircled them.
Amount of cheats AI is using is over neintangaz but cheating retard is still retard.
Yeah, ve bros again right? but ve keep Viennos, you can't have it back. If Kelts are so fucking stupid maybe ve should take some towns from Aeudigaz and zen form alliance wiz zem again?
Also, our knights who say NI! arrived, zey are Sweboz so zey say NIgaz! GWAHAAHAHAHAHAgaz!1!!!einaz you get ze joke? NIGAZ! no? well, fuck.
Ok, time for our counter-offensive. I decided to send one army around to Vendelidildo because I think Rhaetic standing doomstack is gone and we should be able to take the city when we remove romans sieging it.
Romans tries to cross this river again, in winter. I will deny them this pleasure.
We have to push forward no matter how dangerous it is, we can't rot in our germania while romans are free to grow stronger.
... They just fucking love this river. Or hate the guy guarding it.
ZE VAY IS OPEN! Fifteen years have passed. Every day ze woods have cried the words of vengeance and revenge! It's time to start operation "Blood on Ice"!
They are trying to break the siege of Aventicos but we have good and experienced army here. And our king is leading it (not that he's any good, but a king is a king).
That's our formation - shieldwall in the center and mobile flanks, cavalry is only for chasing routing enemies, we won't have reliable cav until reform kicks in.
I ordered our range units to shoot romans to make them run towards us (we failed at that) or maybe even snipe their general (we also failed).
They reached our lines and now we must charge while they are out of formation.
We can't count on breaking their morale because that's not going to happen while their general is alive.
Aaand he died, now I want to see roman banners flashing white...
Awww yissss...
Now we just send our Gaulic cavalry to chase down routing romans (we are not using Sweboz cav because Gaulic Leuce Epos are cheaper).
Harjawulfaz is oldfag but he can still kick some ass (when he have army with shitton of Speudogordoz).
Now ve take Vendil-dildo and Aventicos. Ve must be quick tough, because vat ze romans do ven zey lose 3 legions? zey send six more!
City is ours, but Romans had some outside reinforcements and I will continue this battle to deal with them.
Unfortunately I told Harjawulfaz to man the ram for shits and giggles. General special ability (rally the troops) overwrite units special abilities ("drop the ram" for exampe) and he can't drop the damn thing now. So I told him to push this ram around and scream "chew chew chew!".
Fortunately we didn't need his assistance.
Aventicos will be occupied because people there are happy as pigs in shit.
Alipne dudes are not stoked though, they have to be enslaved.
Romans took nice nose-dive in faction rating due to their failed offensive but that will stop them for turn or two, we have to recruit more soldiers ASAP and prepare for more roman attacks. We should be able to recruit Alpine Phalanx in Veldideno, they work pretty much like our Speudogordoz but are cheaper and have armor piercing secondary weapon. This would be very nice unit to fight romans with.
Zat is a lot of romans but ve have all passes in alps secured. If some weirdo vill decide to pay visit to Italioans wiz elephants, he vill have to ask Harjawulfaz for permission. And if some romans vill want to pay ze vizit to ze other side of ze alps, zey vill have shit thrown in zeir general direction.
Also, ve started smear campaign against ze Italioans. Ve are sending a lot of goldz to Getai and keep telling zem that Romans are plotting against zem. Maybe ve vill be able to convince Getai to attack roma and open another front.
How about no?
Ve left one fucking tiny pass open and ze Italioans squizzed like ze rats they are. Zey vill have to be removed.
Zey are surrounded and outnumbered but it vill be fair fight? ze fuck zey have there?
I can't say I'm that much impressed. Ve should be fine as long reinforcements don't get lost and arrive in time.
Holy fuck, ve vill be coming from ze forest like in zis movie we watched yesterday!
reinforcements arrived, this should be cakewalk!
Italioans have no idea which army to fight!
Zis is not battle, zis is gang-rape.
Zey buggered off even though zey shouldn't be able to because we encircled them.
Amount of cheats AI is using is over neintangaz but cheating retard is still retard.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 9 - Extreme Rock Climbing.
Oh no, you don't. This pass is ours.
All I have to say is "have fun storming the mountain!".
Romans brought new, shiny large army but we have passes well secured. They are not going to reach Helvetia, no matter how many soldiers they have and how well trained they are, every infantry will be exhausted and useless after making five steps in mountains.
Now we need to clear the way to Mediolanum.
Damn, sure it's pretty here.
That's what stand before us and Mediolanum. We need to remove this obstacle.
Romans charged our range units with cavalry but Sweboz archers are full of surprises and light cavalry shouldn't even consider attacking them.
Then infantry got tired of getting shot by lead bullets and arrows, fortunately our main force was near.
Romans decided they don't wan't to die for Mediolanum, ordered their Allied Elite Infantry to charge... and then left the field.
What a dicks, maan.
Romans have two scary armies that will be able to reach Mediolanum next turn, we have to be both fast and sneaky about it.
One army shall start the siege while the other one is hiding in nearby woods.
Nov ve shall see vat romans vill do about zis...
I tried to "scare away" one small roman stack, but Mediolanum garrison decided to help their poor roman friends... interesting.
Garrison spawned to our left and slightly behind us.
We must quickly swarm this small army before garrison get to us.
And then just turn around and prepare to do the same with garrison.
... They are not throwing their pila.
They just charged into this clusterfuck of germans.
And their general is dead.
Ve are free to bring Mayhem to the city!
Mediolanum Kaputt Est! GWAHAAHAHAHAHgaz!11!eingaz
Our ambushers failed at their one and only job - ambushing.
Fortunately they managed to slaughter romans in pitch battle.
Arverni are at war with Aedui, this might let us to stirr some more shit in Gaul so we are keeping our "royal" (Speudogordoz) army near Aventicos in case Arverni actually take some Aedui towns. This left us only two armies on roman border (our fourth army is guarding mountain passes) so we have prepare some ambuscades because we have absolutely no fucking chance against full roman stack in normal battle.
Actually, let's put one army on a bridge.
You can stick stick zis proposal in your roma surRECTUM GWAHAHAHAAHAHAgaz!!!1!eingaz
We managed to ambush roman full-stack with a general. That's nice that we ambushed them but they still can slaughter the living shit out of us even surrounded.
Or game can just keep freezing everytime I try to load this battle. We had to put this army on this bridge which means we will be surrounded but we can't hope to win open field battle and ambushes refuse to even load.
Yeah, we will have 800 guys behind us while we try to stop roman legion from crossing the bridge.
I decided to send everyone to kill those 800 guys and left only 4 units of spearmen to guard the bridge. They won't stop romans for long so we better hurry.
Some cavalry rushed us, I hoped it's roman general but that just some Gaulic race-traitors.
They have loads of Pedites Extraordinary and those guys will fucking cut us to pieces if we won't hurry with killing reinforcements.
We managed to kill roman captain and reinforcements are routing. Now, everybody get back to the bridge.
Because ITZ has begun there.
It might look like our Dugunthiz are fine, but trust me, they are not fine at all.
Romans completely ignored second river crossing. We won't though, we will send few troops to butt-fuck romans on the bridge.
Ok, we have first routing units, surely more will follow.
Our reinforcements-killers are back so we have to get our general to save place because if he dies, we can go back to our precious germania.
Sneaky, sneaky...
Don't mind us...
GOTCHA!
To the abyss with thee!
And now, everybody can kill Pedites Extraordinary. I fucking wish we could loot their armors...
Zey daaay is ouuuursss!
Oh no, you don't. This pass is ours.
All I have to say is "have fun storming the mountain!".
Romans brought new, shiny large army but we have passes well secured. They are not going to reach Helvetia, no matter how many soldiers they have and how well trained they are, every infantry will be exhausted and useless after making five steps in mountains.
Now we need to clear the way to Mediolanum.
Damn, sure it's pretty here.
That's what stand before us and Mediolanum. We need to remove this obstacle.
Romans charged our range units with cavalry but Sweboz archers are full of surprises and light cavalry shouldn't even consider attacking them.
Then infantry got tired of getting shot by lead bullets and arrows, fortunately our main force was near.
Romans decided they don't wan't to die for Mediolanum, ordered their Allied Elite Infantry to charge... and then left the field.
What a dicks, maan.
Romans have two scary armies that will be able to reach Mediolanum next turn, we have to be both fast and sneaky about it.
One army shall start the siege while the other one is hiding in nearby woods.
Nov ve shall see vat romans vill do about zis...
I tried to "scare away" one small roman stack, but Mediolanum garrison decided to help their poor roman friends... interesting.
Garrison spawned to our left and slightly behind us.
We must quickly swarm this small army before garrison get to us.
And then just turn around and prepare to do the same with garrison.
... They are not throwing their pila.
They just charged into this clusterfuck of germans.
And their general is dead.
Ve are free to bring Mayhem to the city!
Mediolanum Kaputt Est! GWAHAAHAHAHAHgaz!11!eingaz
Our ambushers failed at their one and only job - ambushing.
Fortunately they managed to slaughter romans in pitch battle.
Arverni are at war with Aedui, this might let us to stirr some more shit in Gaul so we are keeping our "royal" (Speudogordoz) army near Aventicos in case Arverni actually take some Aedui towns. This left us only two armies on roman border (our fourth army is guarding mountain passes) so we have prepare some ambuscades because we have absolutely no fucking chance against full roman stack in normal battle.
Actually, let's put one army on a bridge.
You can stick stick zis proposal in your roma surRECTUM GWAHAHAHAAHAHAgaz!!!1!eingaz
We managed to ambush roman full-stack with a general. That's nice that we ambushed them but they still can slaughter the living shit out of us even surrounded.
Or game can just keep freezing everytime I try to load this battle. We had to put this army on this bridge which means we will be surrounded but we can't hope to win open field battle and ambushes refuse to even load.
Yeah, we will have 800 guys behind us while we try to stop roman legion from crossing the bridge.
I decided to send everyone to kill those 800 guys and left only 4 units of spearmen to guard the bridge. They won't stop romans for long so we better hurry.
Some cavalry rushed us, I hoped it's roman general but that just some Gaulic race-traitors.
They have loads of Pedites Extraordinary and those guys will fucking cut us to pieces if we won't hurry with killing reinforcements.
We managed to kill roman captain and reinforcements are routing. Now, everybody get back to the bridge.
Because ITZ has begun there.
It might look like our Dugunthiz are fine, but trust me, they are not fine at all.
Romans completely ignored second river crossing. We won't though, we will send few troops to butt-fuck romans on the bridge.
Ok, we have first routing units, surely more will follow.
Our reinforcements-killers are back so we have to get our general to save place because if he dies, we can go back to our precious germania.
Sneaky, sneaky...
Don't mind us...
GOTCHA!
To the abyss with thee!
And now, everybody can kill Pedites Extraordinary. I fucking wish we could loot their armors...
Zey daaay is ouuuursss!
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 10 - Republic Strikes Back.
Dagnabbit. I tried to retreat but our army refused to even move and we got attacked again by same army. Now we won't even be able to retreat in battle map.
At least we have nice hill there, if we manage to take it first.
And we have our weirdos, they better be good becasue they cost fucking arm and leg.
First success, we took the hill, managed to throw our javelins and now we can charge downhill.
Only thing I can do now is to try some cavalry sheneaningans.
We just charged "shaken" unit from behind and no fucks were given.
Goddammit, our right flank broke.
But we routed whole two units on the left. I actually put my best units on the right, hoping to smash this flank, but no, they just routed and only our levies keep fighting.
Fortunately almost half of roman stack decided to chase our routing flank.
Shieeeeet, we got shafted.
Yeah, zere vas quite a lot of zem romans there, but come one guys, it looked like you ver not even trying!
Goddamit.
Well, we are going to stuff the bridge with german bodies and then stab all romans that tries to cross.
Famed roman Mjollnir formation. We can't send butt-rapist through the river crossing, they would get killed.
I send my general bodyguards to fill the gaps in our lines and push romans back a little. They done their job and retreated, but our general just fucking refuses to fall back.
And there he fucking goes. Glorious death due to being stubborn son of a bitch.
... But romans are like "WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! THEY WILL BE BE PISSED NOW!" and fucking flee.
Holy crap, romans are mad at us.
Yeah, after two battles this army couldn't hold a beer, nevermind a bridge.
We have only two armies left now.
I ordered everyone to get back and retrain. We left some soldiers behind though, and our faction heir is tasked with defending Mediolanum.
Good fucking luck GWAHAHAHAHAHAgaz!!!1!1eingaz
But nose-dive Romans took thanks to our offensive is clearly visible on faction rating scroll. So this shit is hurting them more than it is hurting us.
Vell, butter my buscuit and call man an ass, who would have expect that?
Harjawulfaz managed to corner motherfucking god-of war senator.
He needs to die, like, now.
It was very costly thing to do, but it had to be done and mr Senator is dead.
Unfortunately, killing roman senator will be last thing Harjawulfaz did in his life.
Now this dude is faction leader and I don't even know who he is.
And that's why Aigilaz, son of Harjawulfaz and our current faction heir will be defacto leader of Sweboz because Agilaz will be busy getting his ass raped by romans in Mediolanum.
And speaking of Mediolanum and rape. I hope we will be able to hold romans here for a while because 4 armies are not enough to beat them, but we can't afford having more, wee need more money. And only way to have more money is to have more shit, and to get more shit we will have to backstab Aedui. And that's what we are going to do as soon as we re-raise our 2 lost armies.
Romans finished constructing their battering rams and are ready to storm the walls of Mediolanum.
And we are ready to defend it, Mediolanum that is, because walls can go fuck themselves. We are going to defend this hill on the way to town center. This will give us terrain advantage and our soldiers won't tire as quickly as romans will.
And gravity will be our armor against their pila.
Two roman units decided to take other route to town center. We know it could happen so we left some soldiers as reserves.
While roman main force is getting hopelessly tired charging uphill, our reserves are getting ready to flank them.
Those two roman units are dead and reservists can start butt-charging.
Romans didn't fucking liked it at all.
They will have to do better than that to take Mediolanum. I'm pretty sure they will keep sieging this city every turn so they will eventually take it.
Mediolanum is saved for now and we almost finished our preparation to backstab gauls for second time, and this time we won't be satisfied with one city.
Dagnabbit. I tried to retreat but our army refused to even move and we got attacked again by same army. Now we won't even be able to retreat in battle map.
At least we have nice hill there, if we manage to take it first.
And we have our weirdos, they better be good becasue they cost fucking arm and leg.
First success, we took the hill, managed to throw our javelins and now we can charge downhill.
Only thing I can do now is to try some cavalry sheneaningans.
We just charged "shaken" unit from behind and no fucks were given.
Goddammit, our right flank broke.
But we routed whole two units on the left. I actually put my best units on the right, hoping to smash this flank, but no, they just routed and only our levies keep fighting.
Fortunately almost half of roman stack decided to chase our routing flank.
Shieeeeet, we got shafted.
Yeah, zere vas quite a lot of zem romans there, but come one guys, it looked like you ver not even trying!
Goddamit.
Well, we are going to stuff the bridge with german bodies and then stab all romans that tries to cross.
Famed roman Mjollnir formation. We can't send butt-rapist through the river crossing, they would get killed.
I send my general bodyguards to fill the gaps in our lines and push romans back a little. They done their job and retreated, but our general just fucking refuses to fall back.
And there he fucking goes. Glorious death due to being stubborn son of a bitch.
... But romans are like "WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! THEY WILL BE BE PISSED NOW!" and fucking flee.
Holy crap, romans are mad at us.
Yeah, after two battles this army couldn't hold a beer, nevermind a bridge.
We have only two armies left now.
I ordered everyone to get back and retrain. We left some soldiers behind though, and our faction heir is tasked with defending Mediolanum.
Good fucking luck GWAHAHAHAHAHAgaz!!!1!1eingaz
But nose-dive Romans took thanks to our offensive is clearly visible on faction rating scroll. So this shit is hurting them more than it is hurting us.
Vell, butter my buscuit and call man an ass, who would have expect that?
Harjawulfaz managed to corner motherfucking god-of war senator.
He needs to die, like, now.
It was very costly thing to do, but it had to be done and mr Senator is dead.
Unfortunately, killing roman senator will be last thing Harjawulfaz did in his life.
Now this dude is faction leader and I don't even know who he is.
And that's why Aigilaz, son of Harjawulfaz and our current faction heir will be defacto leader of Sweboz because Agilaz will be busy getting his ass raped by romans in Mediolanum.
And speaking of Mediolanum and rape. I hope we will be able to hold romans here for a while because 4 armies are not enough to beat them, but we can't afford having more, wee need more money. And only way to have more money is to have more shit, and to get more shit we will have to backstab Aedui. And that's what we are going to do as soon as we re-raise our 2 lost armies.
Romans finished constructing their battering rams and are ready to storm the walls of Mediolanum.
And we are ready to defend it, Mediolanum that is, because walls can go fuck themselves. We are going to defend this hill on the way to town center. This will give us terrain advantage and our soldiers won't tire as quickly as romans will.
And gravity will be our armor against their pila.
Two roman units decided to take other route to town center. We know it could happen so we left some soldiers as reserves.
While roman main force is getting hopelessly tired charging uphill, our reserves are getting ready to flank them.
Those two roman units are dead and reservists can start butt-charging.
Romans didn't fucking liked it at all.
They will have to do better than that to take Mediolanum. I'm pretty sure they will keep sieging this city every turn so they will eventually take it.
Mediolanum is saved for now and we almost finished our preparation to backstab gauls for second time, and this time we won't be satisfied with one city.
Krivol
Magister
Moar. And bump.
This is good shit. I want to see Romans rape you some MOAR.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
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Arcane
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Arcane
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