Baldur's Gate Baldur's Cringe 3 compilation thread

[lightbane]

I'm surprised this thread wasn't moved to Gaming Drama as the typical damage control maneuver for freshly released games, lest potential buyers get scared.

 

[The Abominable Showman]

>I just want a friend, not a gay relationship.
Don't that just say it all?

 

[ZAX]

Torrent'ed the GOG version. Couldn't enjoy it and eventually deleted after half an hour. Crazy camera focus and movement, cringe dialogs, unusable UI. Started the Icewind Dale 1.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

That's a wide problem with modern games. I commented on it in other threads here before. The combination of romantic options and gay companions has destroyed friendship in RPGs. Which kinda sucks, I've yet to see a good romantic companion arc in a game, but friendship ones used to be great.

 

[Fedora Master]

That's a wide problem with modern games. I commented on it in other threads here before. The combination of romantic options and gay companions has destroyed friendship in RPGs. Which kinda sucks, I've yet to see a good romantic companion arc in a game, but friendship ones used to be great.

To "those people" every show of affection between two people MUST mean sexual tension, ESPECIALLY between the same sex. Coombrains ruined writing.

 

[N'wah]

Yoooo, anyone remember Baldur's Gate?

BG3 Spoilers

 

[DeepOcean]

Romances also push the dialog to become an endless therapy session and because every companion must have a dark secret/insecurities healed by the power of love, so on BG 3, of course, you are basically a psychologist that bang everyone of your weirdo clients.

It is like Thai massage but instead of the happy ending, you get a horny gay bear if you raise your approval rating too much.

 

[Tyranicon]

Zoomers who have issues with authority wrote the companions, and it really shows.

>Super special character

>Abusive authority figure

>Repeat six times because that's not boring at all

 

[Eisenheinrich]

I'm surprised this thread wasn't moved to Gaming Drama as the typical damage control maneuver for freshly released games, lest potential buyers get scared.

Right, because potential buyers first source for information is the codex.

"Hey, there's this new game out. I wanna check out how it is. I ignore all the youtube videos and head straight to that old ass message board that smells like fart. Let's see what their monocled takes are:"

The moncoled takes

"Nigger nigger tranny tranny faggot faggot muh western civilization is doomed. I gonna dooooom."

That's how games always fail financially. Because "potential buyers" go here for advice.

 

[JamesDixon]

I'm surprised this thread wasn't moved to Gaming Drama as the typical damage control maneuver for freshly released games, lest potential buyers get scared.

Right, because potential buyers first source for information is the codex.

"Hey, there's this new game out. I wanna check out how it is. I ignore all the youtube videos and head straitgh to that old ass message board. Let's see what their monocled takes are:"

The moncoled takes

"Nigger nigger faggot faggot muh western civilization is doomed. I gonna dooooom."

That's how games always fail financially. Because "potential buyers" go here for advice.

It's hilarious that you put me on ignore when you're basically a zoomer retard. I guess you got tired of being treated like you treat others.

 

[Fedora Master]

I'm surprised this thread wasn't moved to Gaming Drama as the typical damage control maneuver for freshly released games, lest potential buyers get scared.

Right, because potential buyers first source for information is the codex.

"Hey, there's this new game out. I wanna check out how it is. I ignore all the youtube videos and head straight to that old ass message board. Let's see what their monocled takes are:"

The moncoled takes

"Nigger nigger faggot faggot muh western civilization is doomed. I gonna dooooom."

That's how games always fail financially. Because "potential buyers" go here for advice.

You clearly don't know how our Beneficent Hebrew Overlord acts.

 

[Melcar]

Yoooo, anyone remember Baldur's Gate?

BG3 Spoilers

ToB is not official canon? I don't follow this shit so I don't know.

 

[Eisenheinrich]

I'm surprised this thread wasn't moved to Gaming Drama as the typical damage control maneuver for freshly released games, lest potential buyers get scared.

Right, because potential buyers first source for information is the codex.

"Hey, there's this new game out. I wanna check out how it is. I ignore all the youtube videos and head straight to that old ass message board. Let's see what their monocled takes are:"

The moncoled takes

"Nigger nigger faggot faggot muh western civilization is doomed. I gonna dooooom."

That's how games always fail financially. Because "potential buyers" go here for advice.

You clearly don't know how our Beneficent Hebrew Overlord acts.

I waited all my live for an aryan Übermensch specimen like you to enlighten me about said topic. Can't wait.

 

[consgay]

Romances also push the dialog to become an endless therapy session and because every companion must have a dark secret/insecurities healed by the power of love, so on BG 3, of course, you are basically a psychologist that bang everyone of your weirdo clients.

It is like Thai massage but instead of the happy ending, you get a horny gay bear if you raise your approval rating too much.

This hits the nail on the head.

RPG romance arcs should be consequential optional story beats that reveal something about the world, raise the stakes of the narrative, and help the player in their role-play. They should be intended to help the player define their character and have some consequences.

That's a completely different ethos to what seems to be at play with BG3, which seems to treat picking romance arcs as a candy store. No context or purpose beyond the fucking, designed for the sake of novelty and titillation. It's a junk food approach to writing.

 

[Longes]

Romances also push the dialog to become an endless therapy session and because every companion must have a dark secret/insecurities healed by the power of love, so on BG 3, of course, you are basically a psychologist that bang everyone of your weirdo clients.

It is like Thai massage but instead of the happy ending, you get a horny gay bear if you raise your approval rating too much.

I dunno fellas. I rejected Astarion's sexual advances, pushed him to become worse every time he opened up with some insecurity, and now we are cool bros swearing eternal partnership to take over the world. Gay vampire is by far the best bro in the game.

 

[JarlFrank]

Romances also push the dialog to become an endless therapy session and because every companion must have a dark secret/insecurities healed by the power of love, so on BG 3, of course, you are basically a psychologist that bang everyone of your weirdo clients.

Romances don't automatically push the dialog to be that.

Only badly written ones do. Modern cringe writers have no idea how to write a normal romance in the context of an adventure story. Countless adventure stories have romances, not one of them includes extended scenes of talking about emotions and issues.

 

[Silverfish]

"Hey, there's this new game out. I wanna check out how it is. I ignore all the youtube videos and head straight to that old ass message board that smells like fart. Let's see what their monocled takes are:"

The moncoled takes

"Nigger nigger tranny tranny faggot faggot muh western civilization is doomed. I gonna dooooom."

 

[Iucounu]

That's a wide problem with modern games. I commented on it in other threads here before. The combination of romantic options and gay companions has destroyed friendship in RPGs. Which kinda sucks, I've yet to see a good romantic companion arc in a game, but friendship ones used to be great.

To "those people" every show of affection between two people MUST mean sexual tension, ESPECIALLY between the same sex. Coombrains ruined writing.

It's also prejudiced against Asexuals (the "A" in "LGBTQIA+")...

 

[jaekl]

That's a wide problem with modern games. I commented on it in other threads here before. The combination of romantic options and gay companions has destroyed friendship in RPGs. Which kinda sucks, I've yet to see a good romantic companion arc in a game, but friendship ones used to be great.

To "those people" every show of affection between two people MUST mean sexual tension, ESPECIALLY between the same sex. Coombrains ruined writing.

It's also prejudiced against Asexuals (the "A" in "LGBTQIA+")...

My gut thought was "they should put more of those in games instead" but then I thought about it and you'd have to listen to them drone on and "educate" you about asexuality and tell you all about their asexual backstory and they'd chime in with asexual puns/jokes/observations all the time which would be just as insufferable.

 

[Iucounu]

That's a wide problem with modern games. I commented on it in other threads here before. The combination of romantic options and gay companions has destroyed friendship in RPGs. Which kinda sucks, I've yet to see a good romantic companion arc in a game, but friendship ones used to be great.

To "those people" every show of affection between two people MUST mean sexual tension, ESPECIALLY between the same sex. Coombrains ruined writing.

It's also prejudiced against Asexuals (the "A" in "LGBTQIA+")...

My gut thought was "they should put more of those in games instead" but then I thought about it and you'd have to listen to them drone on and "educate" you about asexuality and tell you all about their asexual backstory and they'd chime in with asexual puns/jokes/observations all the time which would be just as insufferable.

You're absolutely right.

Ideally they would fight with each other at the game development studios so much that they all got fired before even writing a word. Divide and conquer. Why do the Asexuals put up with modern games? Are they oppressed?

 

[goregasm]

I mean, I came here to check what the codex thought of BG3, Wrath, and Black Geyser, because I hate niglets and trannys, I figure I will get an honest take from esteemed folks such as these.

I am pleased to have avoided BG 3 and Wrath judging by the videos I have seen thus far.

 

[Tyranicon]

Romances also push the dialog to become an endless therapy session and because every companion must have a dark secret/insecurities healed by the power of love, so on BG 3, of course, you are basically a psychologist that bang everyone of your weirdo clients.

Romances don't automatically push the dialog to be that.

Only badly written ones do. Modern cringe writers have no idea how to write a normal romance in the context of an adventure story. Countless adventure stories have romances, not one of them includes extended scenes of talking about emotions and issues.

Take a look at any of the sword and sorcery or more pulp scifi serials, specifically Conan and John Carter. They're basically all romances for men.

It's hilarious how the archtypical male fantasies often has better written female characters.

Let's look at the fairer sex in the cast of BG3:


Karlarch - strong independent demon lady who don't need no devil lord
Lae'zel - strong independent gith lady who has a trash storyline and is an absolute bitch 100% of the game unless you do her bidding
Shadowheart - actually alright, but has a really lame and generic backstory, to couple with a nondescript personality
Jaheira - senile old woman
Orin - insane murderhobo
Lesbian couple - their entire purpose is there just to represent lesbians. Also one is literally a mcguffin and after that she ceases to be any importance to the plot, lol! Who wrote this?

 

[Eisenheinrich]

strong independent gith lady

Nothing screams "independent" more than the wish to serve good under your lich monarch.

 

[JarlFrank]

Take a look at any of the sword and sorcery or more pulp scifi serials, specifically Conan and John Carter. They're basically all romances for men.

Yes, that's exactly what I was referring to with "normal romance in the context of an adventure story".

The pulps were peak writing and more people need to realize this.

 

[Longes]

View attachment 39999

In that same dialogue you have an option to outracist the guy by pointing out that he's not a real Baldurian anyway because he's from a suburb.