01089Alexander_the_Acolyte.dlg
Line 10: "[The man before is tall and broad, with..." should be "[The man before you is tall and broad, with...". This mistake appears in the lines 388 and 480 too.
Line 51: "I have some questions about Arronax?" shouldn't really end with a question mark.
Line 115: "Elven and Dwarven philosophy are very different..." has dwarven capitalized, and it is capitalized in line 127 too.
Line 208: extra space between the words "According to the histories," and "Arronax".
Slightly controversial, as it would change the content:
Line 255 says that "The Age of Legends refers to a time between 1500 and 1000 years ago. The Elven Council, of which Nasrudin was the leader, was the central authority for all of the lands of Arcanum. ", yet in line 178 it is said that "Nasrudin has been dead for more than 2000 years...". I think Virgil says something to that extent too, which makes it a fact. Considering that line 165 says about Nasrudin that "For 1000 years he ruled over the council" should "between 1500 and 1000 years ago" be changed to "between 2000 and 3000 years ago"? Alexander doesn't strike me as a guy who'd mix things up this badly.... Anyway, I seem to remember that the game is a little inconsistent on these years, so it's probably a good idea to watch out for errors like these while proofreading. This, and the date of the Molochean Hand versus the Derian'Ka.
Line 311: "Thank you. I remember that. A few more questions?" as an answer to line 311 ("You should be very careful about who you reveal yourself to. If you speak with Hadrian the archaeologist, you may not want to tell him--he's a great man of faith, but he is old; belief in you will come slowly. Gunther Willhelm is a brilliant man, and open to new ideas...I believe he will accept you immediately...") should be changed to "..I will remember that." - there is no way your character already knew that!
Line 361: two spaces between the words "know" and "to". Same in the lines 375 and 419.
Line 375: "It seems we, the Panarii, have an important responsibility. That will be no longer." doesn't really make sense. It should probably be identical to line 419: "It seems we, the Panarii, have an important responsibility that we've been neglecting. That will be no longer.".
Line 388: the female line is completely wrong, it looks as if it's an early version of line 391.
Line 514: "The remains of Nasrudin are just below us, in the lower catacombs. There is a stairway, [further down this hall and to the left.]" has some unnecessary brackets.
Line 593: "Most of what Nasrudin taught, and a few prophecies concerning him are collected in what we call the Archaeon." should be "Most of what Nasrudin taught, and a few prophecies concerning him, are collected in what we call the Archaeon." . The same goes for line 605.
Line 617: "Hadrian is in the offices of Archaeology, [through the doors right behind me.]" has some more wrong brackets.
01097Salty_Seadrick.dlg
Line 2: "If I knew who Skelly was that might mean something." has you giving nicknames to Jack Skellybone, a man you've never even heard of before! Actually, I think it's a remnant of some older dialog where the character was named "Skelly Bones". It should be changed to "Jack", "Skellybones", or "Jack Skellybones". The retarded dialog calls him "Skelly Bonez" alot, but that just adds to the stupidity of the character, and can just as easily be kept.
Line 4: "Stringy Pete knew how to deal men such as Skellybones...." should be "..deal with men such as..".
Line 40, female line: "hundered" should be "hundred".
Line 47, female line: "hmmm...must have left me sack o' gold on ship matey", "matey" should be "missy".
Line 53: "I've sailed the sea's of Arcanum for half a century!", "sea's" should be "seas", or can this be excused as pirate lingo?
Line 67, 71, 82, 85, 96 and 151 has three spaces between some sentences /descriptive brackets.
Line 75: "disappers" should be "disappears" .
Line 125: "Hhaaaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!! Old Jack Skellybones was a pirate matey! A great pirate, who made a drunkard's mistake one bleary night! Ol' Skelly took to drinking a fair spell, and he begun a'rantin' and ravin' bout his adventures cross the seas! He was shootin' his mouth off bout' this and that. mind ye. He was screaming and yellin' how he's the greatest pirate who ever roamed the seas.....". I don't really see how the ".mind ye." fits in, but if it's included it should be "He was shootin' his mouth off bout' this and that, mind ye.". And he's also called "Skelly Bones" in the female version.
Line 128: "{His crew laughed out-loud with their captain as he boasted his greatness, but when then he went too far. He said he was even greater than ol' Stringy Pete himself! Well, his crew shoulda had the right mind to quiet their old cap'n. You see, there's one thing ye just don't speak of, matey. One line even THIS ol' pirate won't cross. Ye say and boast what ye like, but in every tone and note that leaves yer salty lips....}{His crew laughed out-loud with their captain as he boasted his greatness, but when he started to go too far...well, his crew shoulda had the right mind to quiet their old cap'n. You see, there's one thing ye just don't speak of, missy. One line even THIS ol' pirate won't cross. Ye say and boast what ye like, but in every tone and note that leaves yer salty lips....}", the male lines "but when then he went too far" should be "but then he went too far". I think it's inconsequential anyway, as the female line is probably correct in this case considering the next line,131; "...with every word that crawls from your mouth matey, you mention one name with anything but the highest respect and I fear for yer soul. [He leans close and looks around, carefully.] Stringy Pete's the name you best be speakin' with respect...". I don't think he'd be as cautious about mentioning Stringy Pete's name if he'd already shouted it just before...
Line 134: Seadrick calls him "Skelly", but I think it can pass for a nickname this time.
Line 137: "...no matter which way they turned, the fog continued to over take 'em." "over take" should be "overtake".
Line 140: "{They found their captain laying against the wall, matey. His entrails strung out like a spider web from floor to ceiling. Between ol' Skellybones eyes they found a dagger dripping with blood! On the hilt of dagger was a carving that every pirate knew too well. A mark to remind them all to be watchin' their words and payin' their proper respects.....}{They found their captain laying against the wall, missy. His entrails strung out like a spider web from floor to ceiling. In the center of ol' Skelly Bones chest they found a dagger dripping with warm red blood. On the hilt of dagger was a carving that every pirate knew too well. A mark to remind them all to be watchin' their words and payin' their proper respects.....}"."On the hilt of dagger should be "on the hilt of the dagger". Also, the lines are different. Considering that none of the lines are entirely correct (Teach describes the scene as "We found old Jack, in his cabin, with two daggers in him...one for each eye...and the sign' o the evil eye carved into his chest.") you might want to just straighten out the "Skelly Bones" in the female part, and leave it like it is. It's a nice story, and he's probably exagerating/lying/heard it wrong anyway, so it does no harm...
Line 151: "He barely catches the bar, stumbling forward.] Aaaarrrgggghhh!" is missing a bracket at the beginning.
Oh, and by the principle of "better late than never", here are some more fixes for the previous files:
01008kietzel_bm.dlg
Line 12: "I have found the bow Kietzel!" should be "I have found the bow, Kietzel!".
Line 13: "I explored the ruins Kietzel, but they contained no bow." should be "I explored the ruins, Kietzel, but they contained no bow.".
Line 16: "I have increased my skill Kietzel." should be "I have increased my skill, Kietzel."
Line 32: "Me bett'r at bow now Keeyesul..." should be "Me bett'r at bow now, Keeyesul..." - the retarded dialog usually has correct commas, in this particular file it's actually better than the normal one.
01049Winston_Schuyler.dlg
Line 200: "train tunnels through the sacred blood stones of the old Ogre tribes?" shouldn't capitalize "ogre"?
01054Pelonious_Schuyler.dlg
Line 2: "I don't believe we've met sir..." should be "I don't believe we've met, sir...".
01067Randver_Thunder_Stone.dlg
Line 237: "Why, exactly was your father so ashamed?" should be "Why, exactly, was your father so ashamed?". Same error in the lines 246 and 274.
Line 406 has a space before it.
Line 548: "I'll answer nothing for you murderer" should be "I'll answer nothing for you, murderer"
Line 552: "I'll fight you through all eternity if I have to..." should be "I'll fight you through all eternity, if I have to..."
01068Hippington.dlg
Line 243: " I suggest you take off any armor you are wearing and use this before approaching." should be " I suggest you take off any armor you are wearing, and use this before approaching.".
Line 263: "Ahhh that is the easy part of your task." should be "Ahhh, that is the easy part of your task.".
01085Magnus_with_Bingham_combat.dlg
Line 12: "Alright Magnus." should be "Alright, Magnus."
01051GillbertBatesRessurect.dlg
Line 2: "Thank you kind sir for restoring my life." should have some more commas too, "Thank you, kind sir, for restoring my life." maybe?
I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I don't know when I'll be able to do some more proofreading, but I have a lot of time on my hands today, so if you'll send me another 120-140 KB I'll go out with a bang.
