Inactive [LP CYOA] Overlord

[lightbane]

The question isn't wether or not the Dex is patient enough. The question is, are you?

To be honest, no. I hate aristocrats, blue-blooded nobles, princes, kings and other kinds of glorified parasites with a passion, doubly so when nowadays they seem to have been glorified, in spite of being some of the worst kind of people that could ever exist. Also, another reason to dislike it even more is that the smallest mistake in politics can make everything crash down on our heads, hard (as it happened with Rin and Wisteria, NEVER FORGET).

I would prefer spending that time exploring out the world and turtling producing more advanced units/tech with our adopted mad scientist.

Start or not, it was still a good game with good cinematics.

Also, Blizzard cinematics were and still are one of the best in the industry, whatever you might think of their plots.

That I won't deny, but supposedly even these have been overdone, if what I read from Starcraft 2's plot is true.

 

[treave]

Unfortunately real life still isn't letting up so there won't be an update this week.

It's a good thing that everything is now set up for yet another opportunity to devise a Kunning Kodex Plan (TM). It is time to lay out your raid of the adventurer's camp under the guise of the Dark Lord, whoever that is.

***

In addition to the usual named characters, these are the maximum limit of the forces you can spare for the show:
5 elite goblins
20 speargoblins
10 slinggoblins
40 bandits (teleported over from Fortunio's if necessary).
50 combat golems (not tested in battle)
5 slimes

You do not need to deploy all or even any of them.

The large, heavily defended camp you will be raiding will have:
55 adventurers (of all jobs)
120 soldiers
9 mages
10 Azurelion knights
4 Azurelion squires

Feel free to ask for relevant details on the camp's layout.

Approaches you can take include:

Teleport right into their midst to say hello
Knock on the gates politely
Knock the walls down
Pre-emptive Gigadyne
Trojan Horse

And here are some possible objectives:

Kill the prince
Kill the nobles
Kill all the men
Kidnap the prince
Kidnap women
Ask about angels
You are actually just there to fart in their general direction

Creative interpretations of the Dark Lord's appearance are welcome. A walking, talking, big, black, shadowy dick may be traumatizing enough for certain people in the camp by just existing.

 

[Baltika9]

Kunning Kodex Plan (TM)

What are you talking about? Those are the best kind!

50 combat golems (not tested in battle)

Can't we test them on-site, though? We have Arlin, goblins and bandits, if necessary. Just have one of them take those things on to guesstimate their capabilities.

My early idea is to just show up disguised as the Demon Lord and use his 'TRADITION' schtick to lure the adventurers to the castle...and kidnap the prince, so that we can later heroically save him.
Except that I'm not sure if this bunch of sickfuck pedos is different enough from the adventurers from Erd's world that they can ignore TRADITIONAL summons.

 

[Nevill]

Hmmm.

I am thinking about just testing the waters. Which means not committing to the assault on their territory and their terms, just making a big show with Erd in the lead role.

There might be some background dancers (bandits/goblins/golems/Rin?), but I'd rather them not fight just yet, just cheer and posture menacingly, creating the impression of how much more powerful we are to have an evil minion horde. Maybe some golems might engage the soldiers while we keep their adventurers occupied so that we have an idea of how to best deploy the constructs later, but we need to set up ways to quickly GTFO when we are done. So - no big entanglements.

Introduce yourself in a Muahaha fashion; commence a sudden attack on the prince which Aria is to thwart while they are still confused; then let them get their bearings back and regroup, driving you out with whatever they have. We are only there to get the taste of their capabilities and give Aria more freedom to lead them closer (and possibly learn something useful) - the actual killing will take place on our turf and in our castle where we will try to split them up. Of course, if some soldiers get ganked, that's their fault, but try not to kill any named characters yet.

When they step up their game and start getting troublesome, 'Muahaha' at them again and tell them that it is not over and that you will definitely crush them next time!

You know, just try to do your best re-imagining of TopKek's Boss.

 

[treave]

50 combat golems (not tested in battle)

Can't we test them on-site, though? We have Arlin, goblins and bandits, if necessary. Just have one of them take those things on to guesstimate their capabilities.

Sure, you can.

As a result of the testing, you have found that they are more durable than goblins, bandits and Arlin, and can take quite a beating before going down. Speed-wise they are also faster than goblins and bandits but not Arlin. In terms of brute strength they are stronger than goblins, bandits, and Arlin. In terms of skill they rank dead last, they can do nothing fancier than mindless flailing at the moment.

Afterwards, you can hear Zayan's gleeful laughter as she talks about showing those stodgy old overly-cautious Dijeh council members the future of warfare.

 

[Nevill]

In terms of skill they rank dead last, they can do nothing fancier than mindless flailing at the moment.

I guess there is no way that Zayan could improve on this design, given the time we have?

 

[treave]

Not in time for the castle raid, no.

 

[Baltika9]

treave, what is the camp's guard situation like? Do they even bother with anything beyond basic night watch patrols?

 

[Nevill]

What do you have in mind?

 

[Baltika9]

It's really easy, take a page from the old generals. How about we use the ancient stratagem of making the enemy think you have more men than you really do?
We set the surrounding forest ablaze during the night (say, an hour before sunrise, when the guards are all tired and pissed off) and form up the troops from separate directions to conflate our numbers (the golems take the center as the shield; the melee goblins will be on the flank; the elite goblins will be entrusted with leading separate formations and be on the front lines with their troops; the ranged troops will be in the front at first and shift behind the melee line in case the adventurers charge; the slimes will be present in a support/communication capacity).
Erd, disguised as the Dark Lord, rolls up and starts doing the whole stereotypical villain thing, goading the camp to venture into the castle and how big and powerful he is. If they get uppity and start looking like they are about to attack, summon a storm dragon to scare them back in line. We can use illusion magic, if we're skilled enough, but it's not necessary. If Hannibal can make oxen look like soldiers, we can pull this off.

 

[Nevill]

How about we use the ancient stratagem of making the enemy think you have more men than you really do?

Might be good if you want to commit your forces to an actual fight and drop their morale.

But when your mighty horde disappears without putting up a fight, it might seem a bit weird. Then again, if the show is the point, I guess that makes for a good show.

I'd rather not have our forces fight anyone worthwhile. Goblins, bandits... they are all made of paper. A good Thunderstorm would wipe them out in a beat. They are only good if Erdrick manages to tie up the rest.

By the way, do you want Rin to come, and if so, in what quality?

 

[Baltika9]

But when your mighty horde disappears without putting up a fight, it might be a bit weird. Then again, if the show is the point, I guess that makes for a good show.

You said it yourself, this is a Vegas show. The troops' job is to look as intimidating as possible, Erd's job is to play the TRADITIONAL Overlord and goad them into the fortress. We've gotta make them think we're a big deal first, though, otherwise they might not even bother. If it actually comes down to a fight, we'll have to start flinging some serious magic around.

By the way, do you want Rin to come, and if so, in what quality?

I didn't think about bringing her, honestly. She can be our sexy wife?

 

[Nevill]

We've gotta make them think we're a big deal first, though, otherwise they might not even bother. If it actually comes down to a fight, though, then we'll have to start flinging some serious magic around.

Well, my plan is to have a little fight, and not just introductions. See what kind of spells they can fling in our direction, how good the Dragon Slashers are (Thunderdragon won't scare those off, but it will surely intrigue them), how S2T3 fares and whatnot. I think Erdrick could give them a run for their money without getting all serious (he might be able to kill or maim most of them if he went all out, but that's not the goal).

I am still not sure how I want to handle the whole business. We would probably want to split them up when they hit the castle, for ease of handling... But I already want to kidnap some, try to hire a few others, to kill the ones that can't be reasoned with, and maybe even try to make a deal with Alexander when he is alone (as Trider). And there is no consensus on what to do with the prince. And then there is my previous plan of allowing them to 'win' and get their prize, whatever that is, only for it to prove a dud and make Duke Brescia a fool.

So splitting them up and then dealing with each separate group (hire/kill/deal/let go) makes most sense to me... which is why I want to acquintance myself with them a bit better.

I didn't think about bringing her, honestly. She can be our sexy wife?

She can be that. Or a Minotaur Lord-class minion. Or a nuisance who steals our spotlight and ignores her orders. Or the only saving grace of our squishy minions.

There is a lot of potential for GLORY here, in all meanings of the word.

 

[Baltika9]

So splitting them up and then dealing with each separate group (hire/kill/deal/let go) makes most sense to me...

That's something we do in the castle. Our objective right now is to lure them into the castle. So, yeah, we can posture around as a big villain with our artificially inflated forces while Aria 'saves the day' and leads the expedition to the ruins.
Or, much less seriously, we can roll up as a giant black ass (donkey or otherwise) with our entourage in pink tutus and taunt them while the gobbos dance the Cancan*, taunting them into our castle and generally calling them pussies.
*For the uninitiated, Cancan is a provocative dance, very popular in bars circa the mid 1800s. Rin can be the frontman.

 

[treave]

treave, what is the camp's guard situation like? Do they even bother with anything beyond basic night watch patrols?

Patrols. Expect magical defenses too. Of course, Aria is too unskilled in magic to determine what is there.

 

[Baltika9]

Of course, Aria is too unskilled in magic to determine what is there.

'Mystic Fighter,' uh-huh. Guess who just earned herself another training session.

 

[treave]

Of course, Aria is too unskilled in magic to determine what is there.

'Mystic Fighter,' uh-huh. Guess who just earned herself another training session.

You'd need a title like Mystic Hero to be able to identify all the stuff Elmont and the other mages have set up. Or get those Demonic Eyes of Mystic Perception. Her training was more about using magic to fight, not grimoire studies.

 

[Baltika9]

Triple training session it is, then.

 

[lightbane]

Oh dear, a kunning plan voting? That means we'll have to wait between 4-6 weeks before the next update, at least. Still, IMO there's not much to say here. In proper villainous tradition, we have to show with a few soldiers, laugh evilly a lot, kill some random mooks, kidnap someone and then disappear as fast as we came. I would vote for a liberal application of Barbatos' death finger and earthquake punch in order to cause as much confusion and damage as possible.

As a result of the testing, you have found that they are more durable than goblins, bandits and Arlin, and can take quite a beating before going down. Speed-wise they are also faster than goblins and bandits but not Arlin. In terms of brute strength they are stronger than goblins, bandits, and Arlin. In terms of skill they rank dead last, they can do nothing fancier than mindless flailing at the moment.

For some reason this makes me thing Zayan "tested" the golems by grabbing the first bunch of goblins she saw along with Arlin (who was passing by and was unlucky enough to be nearby), then ditch them in an improvised arena.

 

[Nevill]

For some reason this makes me thing Zayan "tested" the golems by grabbing the first bunch of goblins she saw along with Arlin (who was passing by and was unlucky enough to be nearby), then ditch them in an improvised arena.

It tells me they have a secret DO NOT PRESS button because no way Zayan would have made combat golems unsuitable for combat.

 

[TOME]

Rough outline:
- drop in their camp
- say hi, gloat or whatever
- use some flashy teleport spell to kidnap the prince
- have Aria to try and "save" the prince from the flashy teleport spell but ending up getting teleported too
- use Barbatos to wreak a little havoc
- retreat
- later in the castle put Aria and the prince together and treat her as an enemy
- wait for the adventurers to come and rescue them

All in all I want to kidnap the prince and set Aria up to become friends with him and maybe help him escape after the adventurers attack our castle. Or we try some mind control and make the prince our minion. We get little bit of combat and evaluate their abilities before bailing from their camp. When they come to get the prince, we will have laid out traps to separate them and try to get as many as we can to our side.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

TELEPORT
KILL THE PRINCE
Kidnap women

Yes, big black shadowy dick should suffice.

Our goal is to lure them in and slaughter them in the castle. Hopefully picking up some high level adventures' gear and capturing some of them as female slaves - either as pets or to breed with our goblins.

 

[Nevill]

All in all I want to kidnap the prince and set Aria up to become friends with him and maybe help him escape after the adventurers attack our castle.

We do this raiding attempt to assist Aria's story:

There is time enough to do whatever you need to do. On the other hand, you are slightly concerned about whether Aria can successfully set the narrative required to attract their interest. Even though her prying has been cautious and uneventful, you get the feeling that she will need to do more to earn their trust. Perhaps there is something you can do to assist her…

It probably would be better for her to stay and actually lead people to the castle if we aren't leaving them with directions while gloating.

If Aria 'saves' the prince from the initial attack, I expect her to be well-positioned to 'help' him escape in the castle. Or get him kidnapped there. Or lure him to a trap. Whatever we tell her.

I want to get the prince to trust her a bit more, but admittedly, I have not decided what to do with this trust yet.

Though the prince would make for a good bait if we kidnap him during our raid. Hmmmm... And Aria's kidnapping would be reason enough for Trider to be present there...

 

[Grimgravy]

I like plan Gobblecock.

 

[Nevill]

Aria is not an actress and she's a complete stranger of no fame who's not trusted enough to be close to the prince when we attack. The improbable conditions for an unknown newcomer like her to be positioned close enough to the prince to rescue him realistically can't be counted upon to arise when he has even better bodyguards around him and she won't be allowed near as a basic security measure. It's a huge stretch to airily assume that setting up Aria as the Prince's saviour is an easy step.

It is actually a trivial thing to do.

She knows how and when we are going to attack - which is not something that the bodyguards know, and she has supernatural Gigadyne speed to match our own - which, again, nobody else has. Nobody has to allow her anywhere 'near', because 'near' is meaningless with the speeds we are talking about here.

Also, what happened with 'Aria is a perfect actress and she can totally beg convincingly' that was pushed just an update before?

So far the only thing the plans involve is posturing menacingly and a bit of back-and-forth fencing. I have a hard time imagining how it could break down.

Acting like a textbook Overlord is supposed to lure them to the textbook evil castle, where textbook evil minions are guarding a textbook artefact, and to form their expectations, which we may or may not fulfill (which is where the real element of surprise is coming from).