Last time on Let's Insane Solo Baldur's Gate 2:
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Update #50: Searching For Sanity In All The Wrong Places, part II - Raising Stakes To Win The Hand
Going downstairs does not exactly bring me closer to leaving this place.
It does, in a non-direct way.
Oh, look an ancient tome of magic. Let me read it. What's the worst thing that could happen?
A monster?
Hardly.
Uh huh.
You'll have to do better than that, book.
Sure it does.
Still not bloodthirsty enough.
Ok, surprise me.
These guys are only a threat in groups.
Now THAT's more like it!
Eat enchanted steel, eyeball!
Oh, that's nice of you.
Immune to haste? Thanks, but no, thanks.
Summon bigger fish, I mean fiend?
Okay, I can use that.
Look, a secret passage. I wonder what wonders lie behind it.
So far, nothing.
Seriously, is it completely empty?
I mean there should be something in here.
Otherwise what is the point of building the secret passage?
Unless they're just trolling me.
Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score?
Seriously.
Why have we even come to this place?
Don't ask me. You wanted to check what was beyond the hidden door.
And there are these kobolds too, I guess.
Kobolds?
You haven't noticed?
Fuck! Oh, yeah, now I've noticed.
Eat shit, shit-eater!
Talking altar. That's kind of new.
Exterminate the kobolds. Gotcha.
They are surprisingly durable.
Where did you get your degree, doctor?
And that's that.
Uh, okay. Not sure why I would want that, but whatever.
'I explored a secret passage inside the asylum for magically insane, and all I got was this crystal shard.'
Oh shit.
I hate you so much.
We lure some of the enemies around the corner. Divide and conquer.
Maybe we should hurry up. My resources are finite, and it takes usually at least one spell to defeat these goons.
I wonder if these stakes will come handy soon...
I guess it's this way now.
A room with a single monster in it, and it's not a gelatinous cube?
This wandering horror has wandered onto a greater horror than itself.
There is magical ammo everywhere here.
EVERYWHERE.
One ghast, really?
Ah, okay.
Our hero rushes his enemies empowered with Thunder and Lightining!
The enemies die.
Was that noise I just heard a door closing behind me?
I think we've just been Admiral Ackbared.
The Codex really tried, but the bugs proved to be too big and numerous.
Sort of like playing Knights of the Old Republic 2, really.
Death Count: 214
Load game.
I hate these things. If I could, I would exterminate them all.
And coincidentally, I have just the right means for the job.
Five little ducks went swimming one day... Over the hills and far away...
Oh, crap.
Whoaaaaa...
And it seems that cloud kill's range was just enough to cover the umber hulks coming from the other room. Ha!
All that fucking trouble and it was just a way back to the previous area...
Ah, shit, a lich.
Show me whatcha got bandage-boy!
I should learn to keep my damn mouth shut sometimes.
And now, you can all FUCK OFF! Immune, baby!
Well, it COULD have worked.
Death Count: 215
Loading.
One would thing that this super-holly paladin sword would be a little better against the undead than it is.
A poor craftsman blames his tools.
Let me try this protection spell then. Theoretically it should work where the other one has failed.
Aaaand... Oh, it's just time stop. For a moment there I though The Codex died again.
The lich does nothing during the time stop, by the way. Maybe he just needed a toilet break and did not want to embarass himself in front of his undead buddies?
What do you know, protection from normal weapons actually works here.
Told you.
Once again our hero's combination of magical and martial talents allows him to prevail.
And the gear. Let's not forget the overpowered magical gear.
Yeah, that too.
Oh, wait it's not the end yet.
Man, this robe is suited for melee combat like a washing machine for cleaning an elephant.
You will have to endure it for now.
And by enduring, grow stronger? Gotcha.
Ok, that was the last one of decaying jocks.
Time to kill the nerd.
Trying to mislead me?
Try harder!
Holy shit, I hate this spell.
I am not sure why we did not just dispel the Lich's protection, but it is not like this changed something in the long run.
Geez, this liches are such a busywork nowadays. How long until the next real combat challenge?
Uhm, you will have to wait quite a bit more.
Looting is busywork too, most of the time, as we rarely find stuff which we do not intend to sell (for money which we do not need).
I've seen better.
You're not honestly expecting me to comment on THAT?
No, I have no idea why this screenshot was even made, let alone why it was left in during editing.
And now we are wasting precious time and space discussing it, instead of dismissing it immediately and moving on to more interesting stuff.
Indeed we are, and I hope we can reach some interesting conclusions from this.
Such as?
Well, we could analyse why exactly we have decided that making you proficient in darts was not actually a viable option in the first place.
I don't think that was ever on the table.
Yes, exactly. Why was it never on the table? That is what is interesting.
Is it?
You tell me.
Well, darts suck, let's move on.
This looks like a potential disappointment.
Oh, come one, how did they get here? Were they hiding behind that book pile? That's just stupid!
You are so fucking dead, bitch that it's not even funny anymore! I will stick your head on a spike! I will devour your corpse! I will rip off your legs and play golf with them! 
Go, web, go!
No! Just fucking NO! I refuse to die to this bitch!
Remind me never to install any mods again.
I will fuck you all up!
Maybe you should heal...?
Please?
AhahAHAHahaaHHaaAHAHA! BURN!
I hope none of these sanity tests are in the immediate future.
Kill them! Kill them ALL!
Potion! NOW!
Fine, whatever.
So, what about that better armor?
There are not that many good options, and none of them available for us at the moment.
Murdered.
That one gold piece is a nice touch.
This place proves not to be a disappointment at all.
Oh yeah!
Josh Sawyer disapproves.
I wonder what wonders will I wander upon beyond this door.
Uhm, I think he has just told you how to get out. You need to grab his hand.
Oh. Right.
Oh, woe is me. Whatever shall I do, if kobolds have what I seek? I might as well just lie down and die.
At one point there's gotta be a diplomatic solution in this game, that will not be retarded, and that will actually WORK.
Dream on.
We're hoping for protection from undead here.
But all we get is protection from negative plane. I guess the Codex is too dumb to negotiate with djinni lawyers (I suddenly have an idea for a great fantasy setting).
Hey, I had to trade SOMETHING in that dream.
Not that it matters, because the vampire is no threat anyway.
I applaud your choice of words.
Well, it's very important to wear protective hedgear...
I think he means the god Helm, not, you know, a helm.
Oh. Fuck him, then.
Ah, shiiiit.
Yeah, yeah.
Hold yer horses, team.
What do you want now?
I want you to hold of an angry mob of vampires and their minions.
Yeah, I somehow figured it wouldn't be hot elven strippers.
You're not going to leave me here and just go away, are you?
I'll be there in a minute, when I'm sure you have their full attention.
Swell.
Hey, watch out with those swings! You've splattered vampire gibs all over my cloak!
Maybe you should learn to dodge, then.
What are those grimward things anyway?
Some kind of undead, I think. Who cares anyway?
True, that.
Good thing I've randomly found these stakes earlier today.
Well, that's a positive attitude if I've ever seen one.
*insert lame 'give a hand' pun here*
Area completed!
Let's go back to the previous one and look for the exit.
The exit seems to be guarded.
Like it matters.
One spell, and they're all dead.
Uh huh.
Death Count: 216
Loady-load
Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?
let's see how you like the lightning bolt/fireball combo spell from my mighty staff!
Boom!
And Boom! again.
Watch out, they started hacking and slashing at you.
No biggie.
On the other hand, tactical repositioning might be in order. Invisibility!
Where did all your bodyguards go?
Neat trick.
But you'll have to do better than that!
Here, let me show you my sword up close!
Ooh, a jar of possibilities!
Uhm, a fireball that doesn't explode? What's the use for that?
'I want to be a simulacrum'.
Reading is such an useful skill.
There are still leftover yuantis to take care of.
Hey, watch out for that red bicycle!
Yeah, that will confuse them...
Boom! Headshot!
Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!
MWAHAHAHAHA! Slaughter!
It's been a while since I've last spoken to giant stone head.
Finally, an exit.
But before we go...
Level 9 spell slot. Awesome!
We only have one such spell so far. Spell Trap (I think).
I wonder what wonders, etc.
Oh yeah, area completed.
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Next time: We shall try to make a certain stone minotaur more horny.
That sounds... painful.
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Update #50: Searching For Sanity In All The Wrong Places, part II - Raising Stakes To Win The Hand
It does, in a non-direct way.
Don't ask me. You wanted to check what was beyond the hidden door.
And there are these kobolds too, I guess.
You haven't noticed?
We lure some of the enemies around the corner. Divide and conquer.
There is magical ammo everywhere here.
EVERYWHERE.
Our hero rushes his enemies empowered with Thunder and Lightining!
The enemies die.
I think we've just been Admiral Ackbared.
The Codex really tried, but the bugs proved to be too big and numerous.
Sort of like playing Knights of the Old Republic 2, really.
Death Count: 214
Load game.
Oh, crap.
And it seems that cloud kill's range was just enough to cover the umber hulks coming from the other room. Ha!
Well, it COULD have worked.
Death Count: 215
Loading.
A poor craftsman blames his tools.
Aaaand... Oh, it's just time stop. For a moment there I though The Codex died again.
The lich does nothing during the time stop, by the way. Maybe he just needed a toilet break and did not want to embarass himself in front of his undead buddies?
What do you know, protection from normal weapons actually works here.
Once again our hero's combination of magical and martial talents allows him to prevail.
Yeah, that too.
Oh, wait it's not the end yet.
You will have to endure it for now.
I am not sure why we did not just dispel the Lich's protection, but it is not like this changed something in the long run.
Uhm, you will have to wait quite a bit more.
Looting is busywork too, most of the time, as we rarely find stuff which we do not intend to sell (for money which we do not need).
No, I have no idea why this screenshot was even made, let alone why it was left in during editing.
Indeed we are, and I hope we can reach some interesting conclusions from this.
Well, we could analyse why exactly we have decided that making you proficient in darts was not actually a viable option in the first place.
Yes, exactly. Why was it never on the table? That is what is interesting.
You tell me.
Remind me never to install any mods again.
Maybe you should heal...?
Please?
I hope none of these sanity tests are in the immediate future.
Potion! NOW!
There are not that many good options, and none of them available for us at the moment.
Josh Sawyer disapproves.
Uhm, I think he has just told you how to get out. You need to grab his hand.
Dream on.
We're hoping for protection from undead here.
But all we get is protection from negative plane. I guess the Codex is too dumb to negotiate with djinni lawyers (I suddenly have an idea for a great fantasy setting).
Not that it matters, because the vampire is no threat anyway.
I think he means the god Helm, not, you know, a helm.
*insert lame 'give a hand' pun here*
Area completed!
Let's go back to the previous one and look for the exit.
The exit seems to be guarded.
Uh huh.
Death Count: 216
Loady-load
Watch out, they started hacking and slashing at you.
Yeah, that will confuse them...
But before we go...
We only have one such spell so far. Spell Trap (I think).
Oh yeah, area completed.
---
Next time: We shall try to make a certain stone minotaur more horny.
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It's already worse than the last time. Can we go back to cows?
