Our hero is tired but happy, like a new mother after giving a birth.
That example was kind of disturbing.
I'm not sure if that THAC0 is correct. It should have worsened by at least two points since we switched from Lilarcor to Staff of the Magi.
We have items giving us a total of +7 bonus to saving throws. That is pretty
ridiculous awesome.
Nothing new here.
The Codex has killed 664 enemies in his less than 42 days of adventure. This means every day, on average, around 16 creatures end their life due to our hero's actions. I hope nobody in real life gets inspired by this.
So... What exactly am I supposed to do here?
Forget I asked.
It was nice of them to teleport away after the dialogue, and leave me free to loot everything.
Although I feel they may have taken some offense.
Most summoned creatures attack Glabrezu, but the Nishruu seems to find our hero tasty.
Traitor!
Fortunately, we have a perfectly non-magical two-handed sword just for such a situation.
We deal with the Nishruu while Glabrezu slaughters everyone else in the lobby.
After it is alone, we dispose of it without problems.
Trapped containers promise the best loot.
And it actually looks decent.
Meh.
I always wanted to summon one of these!
Another new spell.
Not bad either.
Although we won't be using it, too much hassle.
Both spells are learned.
They are ambushing me right by the stairs. This reminds me of the Iron Throne tower.
First attack = stunned by Celestial Fury. Such luck.
At least it was relatively painless. Probably.
Death Count: 138
Loading.
I have a feeling this party should not be underestimated.
I will start by going around them and looting everyhting.
Very funny.
I really should not be surprised to find traps and secret passages everywhere.
I wonder why they did not take these items into combat with them.
This might actually be useful.
The tenants here are seriously mistrustful of people. It's not like anyone could sneak in here and steal everything.
Oh, hello there.
Always nice to be able to deal 8d6 AoE damage.
And what do we have here?
Interesting. No saving throw either.
We could keep those for boss-killing purposes. We'll see.
I highly doubt if this slingshot is any better than the one I have.
Exactly.
Alright, time to wrap things up here.
That takes care of the mage.
Take 8d6 AoE damage!
Mah luhng!
There's more backstabbing here than in
Diplomacy.
Death Count: 139
Load game.
I'll kill that bitch!
I really like doing this.
Note: some people start to glow green when subjected to fire.
And now you can't see me!
We promised not to use this cheesy tactic of turning invisible in the middle of combat.
I'm having a hard time recalling that I promised anything like this.
There goes the wand.
LetsSeeIfYouCanTakeMeOnIfIAmSuperHasted!
Yup. He can.
Death Count: 140
Loading.
Fucking wannabe ninja jerkass shitface motherfucker.
I can tell You really dislike that Koshi guy.
Eat lightning, asshead!
FUCK NO! I refuse to die fightning you yet again!
Once again, denial changes nothing.
Death Count: 141
Reloading.
Any brilliant ideas?
What, You suddenly once again need my help? What happened to Your own tactical genius?
Fuck you then.
Not sure what The Codex is casting here, but it must be something from a magical item.
I have a few things to say to you too, bitch.
Fuck, I hate when she does that.
Invisiblity serving you well over there?
Alright, bring it on!
DON'T BRING IT ON! STOP BRINGING IT ON!
Trying the same approach over and over again does not seem to work here.
Death Count: 142
Load.
I have an idea.
You'll try a different approach?
Hell no.
I'll try the exact same approach
while wearing armor.
Fuck, I really hate this woman!
My precious blood, it's everywhere!
Save me, my mighty staff!
What, again with the cheese?
Fuck you!
I'll kill these other guys first to improve my mood.
Damn, why did this Stalman guy have to interfere?
Stop casting spells!
Fuck, take this blade outta my belly!
It seems that Olaf Rasmussen hits just as hard as Koshi.
Yeah, I've noticed!
Have a fireball!
Damnit, give me fucking break!
Daddy, help me!
Where are you, daddy!
Funnily enough, it was a trap.
Death Count: 143
Reload.
No, I don't remember screaming like a little girl, so don't even bother asking.
Uhrk...
This isn't a very good start.
Does this blade barrier spell even work?
Beats me.
Koshi's back.
Go away! I'm not yet finished with your child-molesting friend here.
Let me show my huge balls... of fire!
I have to admit, this Koshi guy looks rather badass relentlessly hunting You with his dual katanas, despite being on fire.
Whose side are you on?
Well, he wields two katanas and You switched Your sword for a stick. A fancy stick, but still...
Keep talking and I'll show you what I can do with a stick like this. It will involve your anus.
Once again, the wand of fire is exhausted.
Hopefully, it's the last time (spoiler: it's not).
That means I will die, doesn't it?
I never said it was a big spoiler.
Death Count: 144
Load game.
So, how many screenshots do we have in this update? It would be nice to know up front how many times more I will end up cut to pieces by this Koshi guy.
I bet it would.
This web spell is like my personal
I Got You Babe.
They should be getting bonus damage from my fireball if they're trapped in the web.
This is Baldur's Gate, not Knights of the Chalice.
DIE ALREADY!
Once again, we use up the wand of fire.
That is one well-working Web spell, I'd say.
I will attack them from the other side.
Well, that was actually unexpected.
Death Count: 145
Loading the game.
WHAT THE FUCK!
Check for traps.
Oh.
Since open warfare does not seem to be an effective approach, I will try some guerilla hit & run tactics.
Here, I'll show what my 'stick' can do.
Lightning/fireball, bitch!
Watch out. Koshi.
What!? When did he get here!?
There's more when that came from!
Fuck! I hope the regeneration on ring of Gaxx will make my eyebrows grow back.
So, they cannot see You even though You are on fire. Or are the flames invisible too? And smoke?
Instead of answering your idiotic and pointless question I'd like to point out the fact that the fucking backstabbing whore is dead.
Oh... Oh, that felt reeeeaaally gooooood.
Spare me the details.
No! No! Fuck you, Stallman! I will stab you so hard that you will need to be picked up with chopsticks!
Wow, it was no idle threat.
Although his friends seem to not have taken kindly to it.
After luring two remaining enemies away and bravely turning himself invisible, our hero comes back to check the loot.
I suddenly have the urge to start using katanas.
If this sword was a +4, it would easily be one of the best weapons in the game. These abilities are pure awesome. +3 is not a powerful enough enchantment to carry it all the way through, though.
Is that all the mage had? Kind of disappointing.
Well, most enemies seem to use very limited amounts of equipment. For example, Stalman here would be much better off getting a helmet and a shield with his weapon and armor, even non-magical ones.
Standard issue magical equipment. Boring like an Elcor opera.
You shouldn't know what Elcor are.
And you shouldn't breathe. Apparently, the world is not perfect.
Ten potions of invisibility? Screw this shit. People who can turn themselves invisible all the time are so fucking anno- Oh, I almost walked right into that one, haven't I?
Yup.
Move along, nothing to see.
Time to turn my attention back toward Laurel & Hardy here.
My ear! Fuck! Runaway!
Trap Sprung.
Death Count: 146
Game load.
Of course by 'runaway' I meant 'retreat a little'.
I will just disarm these, so I can employ better mobility around the battlefield.
This bow shoots like crazy, but its average damage sucks monkey balls.
Fuck you and your critical hits!
Let's see how this wand of paralyzation works... Aha! Gotcha!
Damn, my guts are so perforated right now, I will be pissing blood for the next week.
Surely, you're not scared, are you?
Ouch! Good thing I'm bald. I'd hate to have to wash my hair after each hit to the head.
Such a satisfying crack.
Right after hitting the magically paralyzed Maferan with a magic-disppeling staff, our hero realizes he should probably heal himself first.
I probably should have healed myself first.
I hate to resort to kiting, but whatever works...
Obligatory Benny Hill music
I feel this might take a while...
Starting the second lap, our hero still is ahead of Maferan by quite a bit.
Ok, I think I've regenerated enough. Time to employ my cattle prod!
*smack* *smack* *smack*
Oh, come-the-fuck-on!
And he exploded. Typical.
That's a lot of stuff.
And even more here.
All shit, though.
Now you're being unfair.
Fine. Vendor-trash. Can we go now? I would like to rest, finally.
---
Next time: A short technical update that will brings up to date after the Great Save Game Purge disaster.