Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[Lizzurd]

 

[vazha]

It's a regimme change through elections. A velvet revolution, one might say. Grandpa Soros would be so proud.

 

[Reinhardt]

There is one liiiiiitle problem - we don't have elves distributing cookies.

 

[Lagole Gon]

I'll support anyone who promises me a silver warhammer. Except Kalin, because you can't trust someone with a surname like Elfberg.

 

[Andnjord]

I'll support anyone who promises me a silver warhammer. Except Kalin, because you can't trust someone with a surname like Elfberg.

Fight for Kommissar Grimwulf and you shall have your warhammer. This I promise.

 

[Helly]

I'll support anyone who promises me a silver warhammer. Except Kalin, because you can't trust someone with a surname like Elfberg.

Fight for Kalin's Komrades Kompany and you shall get not one silver warhammer, but one silver warhammer AND one gold warhammer!

 

[MediantSamuel]

Why don't we all sit down and talk about our feelings of discontent like adults dorfs?

 

[baud]

That's a good idea, actually.

baud,

Tobul, Unib's wife, daughter of Eryfkrad, worships you. You are a hero and an idol for her, because you were the only one brave enough to stand by Unib's side. Whenever Redlabored votes for anything, she will ask herself "what would Baud vote for?" and cast her vote accordingly. You may not be with us, but you can still vote.

Thanks

 

[Lithium Flower]

RE:

Change of plans. I'm starting my campaign for a Prolebashers Kommander office.

So the Militia Captain appears to be akin to the Broker in that its main relevant skill, Tactics, is not something that any of us appear to have in good quality (unless I missed a master tactician among us) but there are a bunch of peripheral skills that make a social dwarf a surprisingly decent choice. Remember my previous post on social skills? The other two use cases that I have omitted from consideration due to them not being relevant to the broker position are "console" and, crucially, "calm venter." This is important because an armed weapondwarf going on a tantrum can be one of the harsher things that can happen to a fortress its first few years, especially if said dwarf happens to snap near a group of soft targets. Given all the stresses of the militia - like seeing your friends and relatives get killed in front of you - the militia dwarves can be expected to be more vulnerable to losing their fucking mind than civilian dwarves. As such, having their commander be someone with strong social skills that is able to calm them the fuck down can be a great boon indeed.

I don't think it should be me, though. I've got decent social skills, but calming venters is the one social action Citizen does better than me (and most relevant in this case), and his consolation game is not bad as well. Of course, Kalin is still a competent choice because having the commander actually able hold his own in a fight is also important.

Of course ideally we would want a dwarf who is a competent fighter, shield/armor user, and a tactician with a bit of a pacifier in him to boot...but we have no such dwarf, so we will have to pick what we find to be most important among what what we have - and who we find to be most competent among who we have - come the next election and hope we can train them up in the aspects they are lacking.

 

[Reinhardt]

I'll support anyone who promises me a silver warhammer. Except Kalin, because you can't trust someone with a surname like Elfberg.

Vote for me for broker post and i will let you carry my silver warhammer for two days each week!

 

[RoBoBOBR]

Plankplunged, main office of "Daily Sheget", 12 PM

Urist Parker! What do you have for me today?

A story about a carp that terrorized Bridgeblood, northern hillocks, sir!

Carp? CARP?! That's not carp, that's crap. Crap, crap, megacrap. Those strories are so old, they're basically fairy tales by now. We need something topical, something current. Anything fresher than fables of the bygone age?

Well, i have a draft for an article on catsplosions and one on zombie elephants of Boa...

Shut up!! Idrath help me, those are old as well! Urist, I'm going to send you on an investigation.

B-but those take forever! And require travelling, with all the danger that entails!

Indeed! What, you thought you can sit in libraries of our mountainhome and just write about shit that happened ages ago? No, you are a journalist, and Armok be my witness, I'm going to remind you what that means. You are going to Redlabored!

Those outcasts? But they are so far away! It will be so dangerous, nights are dark and full of bogeymen!!

"Those outcasts" are building a fortress, and do not recognize Her Majesty Bomrek Toolrack as their ruler, Urist. We know next to nothing about them, yet dozens of our citizens flock there every season. That's outrageous! We are THE news source of Plankplunged and the whole of Courageous Crafts, we can't sit in the dark on a steady diet of bullshit like some plump helmets! So you are to go there and prepare a report, no, a series of reports! I need to know what Redlabored is, what they think, talk, eat, everything! Make me proud Urist!

Yes, sir! *mumbling to himself* mom told me i should be a soaper...

 

[vazha]

Plankplunged, main office of "Daily Sheget", 12 PM

Urist Parker! What do you have for me today?

A story about a carp that terrorized Bridgeblood, northern hillocks, sir!

Carp? CARP?! That's not carp, that's crap. Crap, crap, megacrap. Those strories are so old, they're basically fairy tales by now. We need something topical, something current. Anything fresher than fables of the bygone age?

Well, i have a draft for an article on catsplosions and one on zombie elephants of Boa...

Shut up!! Idrath help me, those are old as well! Urist, I'm going to send you on an investigation.

B-but those take forever! And require travelling, with all the danger that entails!

Indeed! What, you thought you can sit in libraries of our mountainhome and just write about shit that happened ages ago? No, you are a journalist, and Armok be my witness, I'm going to remind you what that means. You are going to Redlabored!

Those outcasts? But they are so far away! It will be so dangerous, nights are dark and full of bogeymen!!

"Those outcasts" are building a fortress, and do not recognize Her Majesty Bomrek Toolrack as their ruler, Urist. We know next to nothing about them, yet dozens of our citizens flock there every season. That's outrageous! We are THE news source of Plankplunged and the whole of Courageous Crafts, we can't sit in the dark on a steady diet of bullshit like some plump helmets! So you are to go there and prepare a report, no, a series of reports! I need to know what Redlabored is, what they think, talk, eat, everything! Make me proud Urist!

Yes, sir! *mumbling to himself* mom told me i should be a soaper...

Thankee kindly, Redlabored already has a journalist. And a prestigious weekly paper too - The acclaimed Angerith ExaMiner. We might have an intern position available, though.

 

[RoBoBOBR]

Thankee kindly, Redlabored already has a journalist. And a prestigious weekly paper too - The acclaimed Angerith ExaMiner. We might have an intern position available, though.

Why would leading investigative journalist of "Daily Sheget", nation-wide powerhouse of a newspaper, want to intern in a puny local rag? Urist Parker's mission is to inform good dwarves of The Courageous Crafts about Redlabored, its citizen and Kumunizm (or whatever you call that thing). Watch and learn!

 

[Grimwulf]

I for one can't wait for Urist Parker to end up in Shovewhipped and get torn apart by an interview from Baud.

Spoiler

Will be funny to see him visit Redlabored too. I imagine he'll spend a lot of time contemplating our sealed gates.

... Unless he brings a pickaxe, of course. Wait. Oh, shi

Also, this thread delivers. No homo.

Added all your madskillz to Fanart section of the OP.

I'll try to give birth to one last update before New Year hits me, and then go on a week-long journey to the world of alcohol-induced coma.

 

[Lizzurd]

and then go on a week-long journey to the world of alcohol-induced coma.

So we will get a bunch of new updates right after New Year?

 

[vazha]

Thankee kindly, Redlabored already has a journalist. And a prestigious weekly paper too - The acclaimed Angerith ExaMiner. We might have an intern position available, though.

Why would leading investigative journalist of "Daily Sheget", nation-wide powerhouse of a newspaper, want to intern in a puny local rag? Urist Parker's mission is to inform good dwarves of The Courageous Crafts about Redlabored, its citizen and Kumunizm (or whatever you call that thing). Watch and learn!

Oh, I see. A challenger, then? How utterly charming. Enjoy your stay and good day to you, young dwarf.
:smiles sweetly:

*Later that evening: makes a few calls to cousins in North Caucasus mountains*

Spoiler

Givi: Shamil, Gamarjoba, bratan!

Shamil Akhmedson: Givis gaumarjos, Givis! Sad khar, sad daikarge?
Givi: Shamil, est problema tut...

: Reshim. Otprav Imia i adress. I'll send over the Caretaker.

Spoiler

Givi: Spasibo, dorogoi! Peredai privet Ramzanchiku!

*Later that week: A rather sizeable gift-wrapped box is delivered to Daily Sheget headquarters, addressed to the Editor-In-Chief. Attached to it is a small note, whereon a delicate rune inscription reads : "Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays! Returning the favour. Givi." Inside:

Spoiler

P.S. Grimwulf Dear Kommissar, if you havent played yet, I'll post the interview template with Lithium Flower later today, for Angerith Examiner's next issue. Methinks we've got three main topics to focus on this week: The ongoing political crisis, The Lithium Flowah debate and that whistle-blowing (metaphorically) business about silver warhammer controversy.

 

[Grimwulf]

P.S. Grimwulf Dear Kommissar, if you havent played yet

I haven't, take your time.

Or rather I am trying to play, which means re-organizing the whole fortress according to Helly's cunning decisions while the game itself is on pause.

Then Metalworks, Carpentry and Masonry it is. (I must say we do need more carpentry than textiles. It will come back!)

Previously we had food industry with no barrels. Now we'll have barrels, but no food industry. Top-tier management.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

This will end well.
Voting bloc meets chopping block.

All one and the same when you're drunk.

 

[Andnjord]

Previously we had food industry with no barrels. Now we'll have barrels, but no food industry. Top-tier management.

I mean, we have pretty sizable food stockpiles, drinks are somewhat low but more can be brewed when the food inside the barrels gets consumed and the barrels are freed up.

 

[Reinhardt]

Why would leading investigative journalist of "Daily Sheget", nation-wide powerhouse of a newspaper, want to intern in a puny local rag?

It's either intern+miner or just miner - your pick.

 

[Reinhardt]

Well, there is one more option - if for some reason Kalin don't like you can always join the army.

 

[vazha]

Why would leading investigative journalist of "Daily Sheget", nation-wide powerhouse of a newspaper, want to intern in a puny local rag?

It's either intern+miner or just miner - your pick.

My, what a witty turn of a phrase, that. That reminds me of a recent performance I attended. Found it very amusing.

"The Rotten Luck of Urist Parker", as performed in Redlabored Tavern. Sung in three voices, because nothing's more dorfen than polyphonic singing. Background prancing by MoistCloister

"Oh, It's bad luck to be you,
That article is never coming through,
In the mines you'll be stuck,
With a pickax you'll be struck,
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.

It's time to face your own reality.
You're only a petty liability.
The boss said you were chosen?
Darling, he was just disposin!
And all because you're such a schmuck.

You could have been an intern with credibility,
But all you've shown us was creative sterility,
You're nothing but a jock,
With a nasty writer's block,
And all because of your own lack of ability.

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Givi's Op-Eds always coming true,
If you'll say you've talked to baud ,
I'll expose you as a fraud,
For writing a fake interview.

Oh, it's bad luck to be,
Really bad luck to be
Even Catacombs agrees,
so it's a freaking guarantee,
That it's bad luck to be you.
Diddly doo."

*drops the copper mic, as the tavern erupts in thundering applause*

 

[RoBoBOBR]

Plankplunged, main office of "Daily Sheget"

Urist! Are you ready for your assignment?

Yes, gathered my kit: food, drink, money for bribes and most important — scrolls, to document everything.

Great. I would suggest you also pack a weapon.

W-why would i need a weapon? I'm a journalist, my weapon is a quill!

That's all good and well, but latest developments suggest you might need something with more direct way of inflicting damage. Look what has come through the mail this morning.

Huh? A box of pig ears? Who would send such a thing to an editorial office? And why?

Givi Bronzedwelled, poet who left for Redlabored some time ago. Signed the box and everything. As to "why" — no idea, must be a cultural thing. Whatever the subtext though, one thing is for sure — they know of your mission and are waiting.

Do we know anything about that Givi? And how the hell did they find out about our investigation, when i've yet to even leave Plankplunged?!

Well i pulled some strings and here's what i got on Givi: born in year 17 in a small hillock, at the age of 81 moved to Goldsect and became a poet. Nothing is known about his life before that, but after the move he authored several poems and gained quite a renown. After "Shank and the Stunted Deaths" was published he started to get requests for apprenticeship from fledgling poets, ended up picking up two aspiring dwarves. Last year Givi toured couple dozen dwarven cities and then settled in Redlabored this year. As you can see we don't have much on him, but there is one peculiar detail. One of his apprentices, Litast Towershin, was abducted by goblins at the age of 2, and since then lived in dark pit named Weavermonsters, that is until, aged 14, he became a poet and sought Givi's tutorship while settling in Goldsect as well. That is very strange. Towershin's works are few and are known to be self indulgent. Givi only authored one poem after Litast contacted him, "The Sun Sets on Dragons", his most vicious work, and eventually left for Redlabored to become a miner, quite a drastic change you would agree. So i think it is all a ruse, and Givi was contacted by goblin agent in Litast, maybe even recruited. That would explain the ears, goblins are savages. As for "how did they find out" i think we have a mole in "Daily Sheget", and when i find out who that is i will pop him with my own hands, swear to Armok!

M-maybe we should reconsider then? I've heard stories about goblin traditions and they are utter beasts!

Nonsense! This means the story is even more important than i thought initially! By the way while digging up information on Givi i also happened upon a thing that will help you with your quest. Mayor of Shovewhipped, a hillock nearby, told me over a mug of beer that they've recently received a new resident, former citizen of Redlabored! Question him thoroughly, he might be your way inside Redlabored. Now go and do your job, you slacker!

Fffffuuuuck...

 

[vazha]

Sweet, now I've got a nemesis and even an own story arc! Keep up the good work RoBoBOBR , young Urist hasn't seen the last of The Givi. Not sure whether your goblin allusion is entirely correct though, but one thing I can confirm - They were indeed the reason I had to flee the city in such a hurry and was desperate enough to settle for a modest life of a miner (how they mighty have fallen).

 

[Grimwulf]

Good job on spotting Litast and the interpretation that followed. Somehow I completely missed her.

Damn, vazha. Your apprentice has a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome. She actually went back to her captors soon after you left her.

Spoiler