ExposedBrainMatter
Educated
There is a famous Kurt Vonnegut quote I don't care enough to Google that goes something like, "In the beginning of a story somebody has to want something, even if it's just a glass of water." To that end, Grizgul the Barbarian finds himself in search of a glass of water. Note that he has plenty of access to fresh water from the brooks and streams that dot the verdant landscape of Greenmarsh, but he has literally never seen an object made from glass in his life. So what we really need is the cup.
Rumors tell of a great kingdom of burning sands and ashen fields to the east. Perhaps they melt the sand into goblets there. There is also a fabulously wealthy settlement much closer to the west called Hamtropolis, but they won't let you in the gate without a good reason. Twenty summers of brutal campaigns by the coastal dog-headed Reavers into Greenmarsh have granted you a certain warrior's cunning, but at the end of the day Grizgul is still an illiterate retard. Thus we begin our anabasis with decades of combat experience, a skull full of sawdust, and a powerful thirst.
LIKES:
Axes
Clubs
Slings
Napa leather
Exotic drinkware, in theory at least
Swarthy equatorial women
Chewing snarlweed (Contains the addictive alkaloid cathonine, similar to methamphetamine. Grizgul is unaware of this.)
DISLIKES:
Cowardice
Shields (redundant)
Usury
Division of labor
Secular medical practitioners
Reavers and humanoids with dog heads in general, even civilians
INVENTORY:
x1 Unidentified but fancy-looking small sword recently stolen in a raid
x1 Never oiled hauberk in terrible condition
x1 Worsted wool skirt
x1 Pot helmet
x1 Sling
x20 River stones for the sling
x10 Horse meat & blackberry pemmican rations (1 to 5 years shelf life)
x2 Pouches of snarlweed
x0 Gold. Snarlweed is expensive
THIRST GAUGE:
[----X-----]
Three days ago you decided your drinking gourd was lame and threw it in the midden. Since then, you have resolved not to drink any water but from a glass to make the experience all the sweeter. Time is running out. Nobody in Greenmarsh even knows what you are talking about, and you'll soon need to find a glass or compromise, a fate worse than death.
A. Hamtropolis is a day's march from your camp. It is also totally hostile to people who do not follow its sumptuary laws, so showing up in war panoply instead of peasant rags may get you arrested. Still, it's the "safe" option and even if there are no snifters, maybe you can pawn this fancy sword. (Cost: 1 day, 1 ration, 1 thirst)
B. Deep within the Sodden Mire of Greenmarsh lives an oracle known as the Ukrash Elder. It's a long shot, but the barbarian tribes always go to him in times of great need. The Ukrash's advice could point you in the right direction. Hell, he might even just have a glass to give you after some trivial obeisance like clipping his toenails. (Cost: 2 days, 2 rations, 2 thirst)
C. You didn't spend 70% of your life turning Reavers into cartel gore just to cuck out over a little dehydration. If east be where the glass flows, then east is where Grizgul goes. It's probably way far east, in which case you'll need to cross the Shatlantic Ocean. You'll surely run into a clan of Reavers by the coast, and with a touch of elbow grease you'll be captain of your own sloop in no time. Who cares if the ocean voyage may take months? (Cost: 3 days, 3 rations, 3 thirst)
TIP: Without rations to spend you will begin to starve, though there is no meter. Without water, your thirst meter will increase by one pip daily and kill you at maximum, but there are also other ways to increase/decrease this meter such as sweating too much or being transmuted into a camel by Reaver black magic. Days spent only matter when you are on a timer for something.
Rumors tell of a great kingdom of burning sands and ashen fields to the east. Perhaps they melt the sand into goblets there. There is also a fabulously wealthy settlement much closer to the west called Hamtropolis, but they won't let you in the gate without a good reason. Twenty summers of brutal campaigns by the coastal dog-headed Reavers into Greenmarsh have granted you a certain warrior's cunning, but at the end of the day Grizgul is still an illiterate retard. Thus we begin our anabasis with decades of combat experience, a skull full of sawdust, and a powerful thirst.
LIKES:
Axes
Clubs
Slings
Napa leather
Exotic drinkware, in theory at least
Swarthy equatorial women
Chewing snarlweed (Contains the addictive alkaloid cathonine, similar to methamphetamine. Grizgul is unaware of this.)
DISLIKES:
Cowardice
Shields (redundant)
Usury
Division of labor
Secular medical practitioners
Reavers and humanoids with dog heads in general, even civilians
INVENTORY:
x1 Unidentified but fancy-looking small sword recently stolen in a raid
x1 Never oiled hauberk in terrible condition
x1 Worsted wool skirt
x1 Pot helmet
x1 Sling
x20 River stones for the sling
x10 Horse meat & blackberry pemmican rations (1 to 5 years shelf life)
x2 Pouches of snarlweed
x0 Gold. Snarlweed is expensive
THIRST GAUGE:
[----X-----]
Three days ago you decided your drinking gourd was lame and threw it in the midden. Since then, you have resolved not to drink any water but from a glass to make the experience all the sweeter. Time is running out. Nobody in Greenmarsh even knows what you are talking about, and you'll soon need to find a glass or compromise, a fate worse than death.
A. Hamtropolis is a day's march from your camp. It is also totally hostile to people who do not follow its sumptuary laws, so showing up in war panoply instead of peasant rags may get you arrested. Still, it's the "safe" option and even if there are no snifters, maybe you can pawn this fancy sword. (Cost: 1 day, 1 ration, 1 thirst)
B. Deep within the Sodden Mire of Greenmarsh lives an oracle known as the Ukrash Elder. It's a long shot, but the barbarian tribes always go to him in times of great need. The Ukrash's advice could point you in the right direction. Hell, he might even just have a glass to give you after some trivial obeisance like clipping his toenails. (Cost: 2 days, 2 rations, 2 thirst)
C. You didn't spend 70% of your life turning Reavers into cartel gore just to cuck out over a little dehydration. If east be where the glass flows, then east is where Grizgul goes. It's probably way far east, in which case you'll need to cross the Shatlantic Ocean. You'll surely run into a clan of Reavers by the coast, and with a touch of elbow grease you'll be captain of your own sloop in no time. Who cares if the ocean voyage may take months? (Cost: 3 days, 3 rations, 3 thirst)
TIP: Without rations to spend you will begin to starve, though there is no meter. Without water, your thirst meter will increase by one pip daily and kill you at maximum, but there are also other ways to increase/decrease this meter such as sweating too much or being transmuted into a camel by Reaver black magic. Days spent only matter when you are on a timer for something.
The hermit is able to successfully scry the nearest location of a glass vessel for containing water which is... Roly Poly Hill. You've passed there a million times. There's nothing there, it's just a hill covered in rock formations that make it look like a giant pillbug.
