Baldur's Gate BG3 Blurb Contest

[Alphons]

Baldur's Gate III is the Dark Souls of RPG games.

 

[Ol' Willy]

PLEASE
STOP
BG3
THREADS

 

[supervoid]

Something like:

Inclusive turn-based mode changes the franchaise forever. Neckbeard elitist fans seethe all around the world. Future of cRPGs: No spacebar!.

but written in this dumb style vidya game journos are using. I can't do it, it requires too much effort . Feel free to use this award-worthy draft for your own entry.

 

[Fedora Master]

"The game manages to walk a fine line between satisfying fans of old-school dungeon crawls as well as updating its formula and story to modern standards."

 

[Cyberarmy]

There was BG1 and 2 ?

 

[oneself]

DnD with none of the tedium.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[pomenitul]

Dungeons & Dragons at its unquestionable best!*

*Terms and conditions apply: free illithid tadpole to be implanted into player's brain before playthrough.

 

[Serious_Business]

"I was a fan of the original Baudelaire's Gate, but you gotta admit, those venerable sprites have ran their lives' due course. Let them rest in peace. Not it is time for something truly magical, a fully 3d rendered Bee Gate - what could you ask for more?"

Baldur's Gate III is the Dark Souls of RPG games.

Fucking hell, I wish

Something like "Offers deep tactical combat" is obvious, but with the terrified addition which will amount to "that can be played at your own pace" ; something to make sure it's accessible. "It may look intimidating at first, but worry not, the game will pull you in with its fun dynamics and incredible animations"

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[AwesomeButton]

Larian leaves its mark on the Baldur's Gate legacy with its trademark humor.

 

[vortex]

DnD with none of the tedium.

DnD with none other than the tedium.

3 does not stand for 3rd in a series. It sets itself apart in mechanics, graphics and writing in a way that classics of old were never able to achieve. As such '3' should be read as edgy 'E', Baldurs Gate Empowered, Enhanced, Eclectic...

Baldur's Gate Eurojanked

 

[Elex]

“LARIAN MANAGED TO REVITALIZE THE CLASSIC BEAMDOG FORMULA WITH A MODERN TWIST AND A AAA BUDGET DELIVERING A CRITICAL HIT ON THE HEART OF THE OLD BALDUR’S GATE FANS!”

 

[Ialda]

"Baldur 3, where you start the game with a piece of the Big Bad inside of you. Are you ready for more ?"

 

[Citizen]

This one really makes you FEEL like Baldur Gates

 

[Turuko]

"The game manages to walk a fine line between satisfying fans of old-school dungeon crawls as well as updating its formula and story to modern standards."

this is spot on, maybe it'll be paraphrased a bit but this is it

 

[Filthy Sauce]

Baldurs Gate 3.... Turn based combat with a story slightly worse than Siege of Dragonspear.

 

[Darth Canoli]

YOU'LL NEVER MISS AGAIN!

 

[hello friend]

FINALLY A D&D FOR HUMAN BEINGS

SATISFYING AND FRESH

 

[pomenitul]

MINIATURE SPACE HAMSTER MEETS THE MAN WITH MANY CHEESES!

 

[Aemar]

Baldur's Gate 3: Because We Couldn't Obtain the Rights for Leisure Suit Larry.

 

[Ontopoly]

In the present day we have to modernize, we have to simplify.

 

[luj1]

Coming to a theater near you!

 

[Morpheus Kitami]

This time, its personal.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

The tabletop rpg experience of tomorrow, today!